The 12th Gemini Bus - the journey continues

[AGnu]

Looking forward to seeing where this thread takes us!

Hello ladies!

I have a rare moment to myself whilst Dd naps on me so I thought I would pop by to say hello!

That music class didn't go well in the end. After 2 classes DS said he didn't EVER want to go back as he wants to learn about musical instruments at home I guess he's worked out that on his two non nursery days we can do fun things together. I get it. Luckily I hadn't paid upfront...phew.

I have recently had 3 friends alternatively over for play dates and he's been much better. I definitely think we're turning a corner and it won't be long before he stops being such a grump in the afternoon from not napping anymore. I've also got back in touch with a local mum and we had a lovely cup of tea whilst watching our children throw themselves at soft play. That was nice!

I lost my marbles earlier on in the week and I just couldn't handle not having a routine with DD so I sort of found one again but then teething got in the way You know the story! DH has been off loads recently as he's had work issues but actually it's been a godsend as I've really needed him. DS woke up screaming the house down last night and it turns out he has a terrible ear infection so he's now on antibiotics. TG it happened before the weekend as that would have been a trip to A&E!!

Still no news about my FiL Poor DH continues to grief. We're talking...that's all we can do.

Weaning has begun but it is not going well I have so far given baby rice, pear, Apple and sweet potato. She hates it all. I'm going to persevere though because I don't want to do baby led. I really don't.

How are you all? Lor have you had any luck cracking the sleep problems? Bring you doing OK? Agnu how are you?

Bring yes my FIL died of a heart attack but the hospital can't say why or what happened which is why there has been an ongoing investigation. The heart attack happened in their care but it's not the reason he went in. Poor DH has no answers and of course there are so many questions left unanswered. He can't grief properly until he knows what really happened and how much the hospital is to blame etc. I have now suggested that we all drive to Norfolk together to spread the ashes and make a family weekend of it. I just think they need to do something for their sanity. It's been a year in May

Boo! Just came online to check what's happening but it's v v v quiet All is good with me. Weaning has improved since getting advice from the hospital dietician. I started sleep training this week and can now put Dd down for daytime naps which is just BLISS! Dd has turned 7 months Its gone so quickly but it's also been a very challenging time! I can see sleep round the corner again Waking up 4/5 times in the night but trying to fix that now! DS is doing really well at nursery and I'm now looking forward to hearing what school he will be going to. Our family holiday is booked and I cannot wait!! Weighed myself yesterday and I've lost weight since going dairy free so that's good. Now I would like to tone up...one challenge at a time 😉 Anyway, just wanted to pop by and see how everyone is doing?

I can't believe it's been 7 months! Glad she's settling a bit better! Schools in your area must be rather different to mine - round here people are waiting to find out if their child can go to any school! Home schooling is definitely the way to go!

We're plodding along much the same as always. Calf has nearly learnt to ride his bike without stabilisers, Runt's finally getting somewhere with toilet training, I'm driving myself mad with a not-entirely-planned 2ww... It's the first time there's been even a chance I might be pregnant since my 2 miscarriages last year. As much as I'd love to have another baby I'm terrified it's going to go wrong again & I don't know how I'll cope with that. Or it might be a boy when actually I'd quite like a girl, but if it is a girl we're going to need to rearrange bedrooms... My head's all over the place. DH still doesn't want another. It's been 4 days since we DTD & I'm driving myself mad! Another 3 days & I'll probably know if I've conceived, based on all 4 previous pregnancies having symptoms from CD21! Got a lot to do in the next few days though, & as if all this isn't messing with my head enough, if I'd not miscarried the first time my due date would be this coming Monday.

Awww Agnu We didn't know about the two miscarriages did we? I'm really sorry to hear about it now. Or did we and my sleep deprived brain has forgotten? Keeping my fx BIG time that this is your moment The 2ww is just the hardest! Nothing compares to it. How do you think your DH will react if it is a bfp? I understand how hard it is when your mind drifts off thinking about gender. I do kind of believe that we're given what is right for our family. I don't know why I believe that but I do. Maybe because I feel that if we had another boy instead of a girl then I know DS would have found it much harder to adapt. What's saved him in the transition from going from 3 to 4 of us is that his strong relationship with his dad hasn't been compromised since he is still the only boy. So their bond has stayed exactly the same and even better then before. I just don't think he would have coped if he had a brother so soon. I feel like we would have a boy if we had another child. Maybe it would help you to relax to-think that God (or whatever) has chosen what is right for your family already? Or maybe you think I'm talking utter nonsense and you can ignore me

I am really not sure I can do this all again for a third time. Not having more then 3hrs sleep for 7 months is incredibly tough. It's been a gruelling journey for our marriage from conception to now. Nearly 2.5 years of such pressure on us I've always wanted a big family but having non sleepers with allergies has really put a different spin on it. When the time comes we will have to think hard whether our marriage and family can survive doing this for a third time with such tiny outside family support. It effects us all. On the flip side it only effects us for 1 year please may that be true second time too as we know the reflux goes after 1 year and at 7 months we're already seeing a small bit of light. I think what's made this double hard is the conception time too. If I really wanted a third then I would HAVE to chill out on the conception side and 100% not go crazy on that side again. I would have to except that it could take us another 2 years again to conceive and have a very different mental approach to it next time. Perhaps 3rd time I will have to throw it to the wind who am I kidding, I'm not a relaxed person Oh well, lots of thinking to do in the future!

So Dd woke up at 2:40 after putting her down at 11. I'm trying a new approach and I've been up for 1 hour feeding, nappy changing and winding. Put her down and she has self settled without crying...this is such a miracle I am hoping that since I stayed up long enough to get two burps out and she's self settled, she might just stay asleep for longer?! Normal she would wake up with wind about 4:30 so let's hope this works! It's hard though when I could have put her straight down asleep after the feed Now I am fully awake and it's going to be tough to go back in the bedroom and fall asleep. Fx hey!

Before I go... other news. I've put loads of pressure to get DH to borrow money from MIL to fix parts of our broken house. This seems to have sort of worked. Yay! MiL has done sod all to support us and didn't even pick up Dd once when she came over to visit yesterday. It makes me feel much better knowing that she is at least supporting us financially now as I know she can. It does feel wrong to beg but also I just want to take that pressure off DH as so much has gone wrong for him with his business this year. She should be helping so much more but now she doesn't even want to iron for us so you know... I tried to explain sleep training to her yesterday but she's just so dumb. She doesn't get it at all and still doesn't understand why we don't get sleep For the first time yesterday I really saw her glare at me when I was having a heated discussion with DH about the house issues (DH wants to only fix part of the gutter problem and I was telling him that we can't make that mistake again and we need to do it properly otherwise we will be in the same situation next year). I'm convinced she hates me Maybe it's the sleep deprivation again Anyway, she's swanning off to Dubai for 3 weeks sun and won't be back until April so hurrah to that!! She says she's going back to Dubai because she always did this holiday with FIL every year and it's like her goodbye holiday to him. Now that sounds really sweet doesn't it? It's not though because the reality is she moaned like a "beep" every time FIL suggested they travelled anywhere and was so so unhappy with him when he was alive so it makes absolute no sense to me at all and personally I struggle to understand why anyone would want to return to a holiday destination when you hated going in the first place?! I guess in reality she enjoyed being a doormat and misses it. She's put on a stone and just watches Tv all day. When he died she said she was now free to do all the things she wanted to do in the UK but that's all disappeared now. Anyway, just hope she stays safe and nothing happens to her as I don't really think it's safe for her to be travelling now when she seems to struggle so much. I feel sorry for her but it's hard for me when she pays no attention to my children but has all the the time in the world to change that. I end up resenting her. I'm sure you understand

OK, must try and sleep

Pretty sure I talked about them here. I've been feeling queasy on & off all day today. That very distinctive weird combination of hungry but not wanting to eat & like my belly's full of acid. I really want some little crunchy pretzels! I tried to play it down as being just tiredness after a busy day & late night last night but... Now it's just a case of waiting to see if it sticks around this time! I'm trying really hard not to get attached! I think the longer my symptoms go on, the less I'll believe it - with both Calf & Runt I had one day of symptoms about a week after DTD & then nothing until well after a BFP. Both miscarriages I had queasiness & dizziness from CD21 until a day or so before the bleeding started. Ergo, if I have more than one day of symptoms there's not going to be a baby... Totally logical & scientific... Pregnancies all follow the same pattern & are always completely logical, right?

Any news Agnu?

If someone had told me what effect going from having 1 and 2 children does to your marriage I may have laughed and shrugged my shoulders. Wow

I caved & used an ovulation test which can detect pregnancy - BFP! I've got proper tests coming in the post tomorrow to confirm but I'm feeling optimistic. Except when my IBS plays up, which it's been doing a lot the last few days. Awful lower-abdo cramps that make me think I'm about to start bleeding but turn out to be gas! I've read that hormones can affect IBS so I'm weirdly taking comfort in having labour-level cramping & panic when I'm not in pain!

I remember how difficult it was going from 1-2 but 2-3 is going to be fine, right @bringonthetrumpets & @Frusso ?!

Awww congratulations Agnu! Fx this one is very very very sticky Let us know when the new sticks arrive! Love a bit of testing news

I hear 2-3 is much less of a surprise and strain and I can see why that would be. I guess reality is it's always going to be hard managing small people and a man I keep telling myself they won't be small forever

Tests arrived while I was having a wee. I knew I should've kept some in a pot! Just had a drink & now waiting an hour or so before doing the test - don't want to skew the results by it being too dilute!

Grr, DH just text & wants me to wait until he gets home! He's never seemed bothered about being there for the test before! I need a wee!

He made me wait, so I made him dip the stick in my wee! It's confirmed. I'm trying not to be too excited around DH - he's still trying to get his head around it. I've got 2 weddings to go to before it's due - one at 14w & the other about 36w. I'll almost certainly be showing by 14w so I'm planning to get a maternity dress that I can wear for both, that way I can justify spending a little more & get something that doesn't look like a tent!

Wooooooaaahhh that's so exciting! Yay another bus baby!!! Will you be finding out the sex when the time comes? Congratulations again

Definitely. We did with the others & tbh if it's another boy I'm going to need a little time to get used to that! Would be easier though - there are several boys names we could agree on but we've always struggled with girls names! I've just sat here reeling off lists of girls names... because obviously we must pick one right now! I'm actually feeling a bit panicked about it! Also, I'm crying at everything already. Blooming hormones!

If it's a boy you're going to save so much money on clothes!!

Tbh, I doubt it! Most of our baby stuff was unisex, plus we're not "pink" people except Calf who'd paint the world pink & anything passed the moving stage has pretty much been destroyed by Runt! Seriously, he's got a grand total of one pair of trousers that don't have holes in at the moment! It's ridiculous. I sent him to pre-school in perfectly good trousers with little sign of wear the other day, after 3 hours he came out with muddy/sandy stains & holes in both knees! All their nice t-shirts are worn & washed so regularly that they've got holes &/or stains... our kids generally look a mess! We'll have to buy a bunch of new stuff for this one anyway, but if it's a boy people will assume we've got lots of clothes already, if it's a girl I can see MIL going completely overboard to the point that we won't have to buy her anything until she's 6! It's likely that our DC will be the only grandchildren on that side, & MIL had 2 boys herself so I think she'd be pretty excited about a girl. My parents already have 4 granddaughters so will probably just roll their eyes at another. They're not going to be thrilled about the pregnancy anyway, when I told DM about Runt her response was "I don't really know what to say..." Erm, how about "congratulations"?!

Ahhh yes I suppose that's the difference between having no 2 and 3! Your clothes are well used by now I've had to spend a small fortune on clothes for DD so far because I've discovered that most of what DS had is very boyish or had to be thrown away (thanks to reflux)! So, third time round I really hope we won't have to spend this amount again because it's a real nuisance! I have always brought bpear lots of navy and red so hopefully Dd will make some use of his clothes as she gets older!

I really hope your DM has a better reaction this time Families make everything so complicating Yay for your MIL buying an entire wardrobe...as long as you like it. My MIL thinks primemark is the best clothes shop

Bring, hope you're doing OK? And Lor! Think we've lost frus and Kitty!

Eeeeeekkk! BFP!!!! AGnu

Sorry I missed the live excitement. Congratulations!

All good with us. Will updste properly soon.

Thanks Lor!

pear MIL would probably kit us out with frilly 1950s stuff... It's clothes though, I'm not too fussy! I shall put her in a weird combination of frilly dresses & "boys'" jumpers!

I started an antenatal thread that's only supposed to cover half a month... It's crazy busy already & there's still about another week before those due at the end of the month will reach 4w. I miss having a small, friendly group!

Agnu - how you doing? How many weeks are you now do you think?

I am so tired well more exhausted then tired because DH let me have a nap this morning but it's not the same. Dd is teething and back to waking 4/5 times a night. Just so exhausting and I am mega behind on chores

On the bright side...weighed myself this week and I back to the same weight that I was when I fell pregnant with Dd. 9 months on and 7 months off. Thanks to no dairy!

How did everyone get on with schools? We got our first choice. It seems like a great school but I'm a bit nervous about how we're going to manage it as it's a bit of a journey to get to and is nowhere near the nursery E is in. I'm sure we'll work it out

Lor - we got our 1st choice too. I don't actually know anyone who hasn't weirdly. Feel so sorry for those who're not so fortunate out there as it's mega stressful!

Just seen facebook baby announcement agnu So exciting.

Hello ladies!!!!

Is anyone out there? I lost you for a very long time but I’d love to hear how you’re all doing? Agnu have you had your 3rd bubba?

I am fine. Ds is settled at school and Dd is now 13 months. Time has flown. Dd daughter and I are full of flu bugs this week but I’m feeling better today.

I'm still here! 38+2 now, have a cold & am utterly fed up! I'm swinging wildly between wanting her out & panicking at the thought of having an actual real baby to look after - like I've never done it before! There's still a couple of things I want to get done around the house so I'm hoping she'll stay in until after next weekend & then I'll be ready to get on with it. Both the others came around 41w but I've heard 3rd babies are often different so I'm hoping for pre-due-date this time. I've got a family event when I'll be 41w so I'm really hoping she'll be out before that... Otherwise I might have her on the hard shoulder!

It’s a girl!!!!! 😃😃😃😃😃 Yay! How lovely for you! I bet you’re super super excited to be having a girl after two boys. Did you always want to find out? Hows your pregnancy been so far? Wow I can’t beljeve you’re so close to the end!!