March 2016: the one where Indomitable gives birth...

[vroc81]

I hope I haven't duplicated a new March thread in my sleep deprived state.. Went to reply and found thread was full!..

Oh time I sympathise, when I was back in hospital for Cassidy's weight loss the Dr gave me a feeding plan which said bf then give her 80ml of formula on top 6 times a day. I told her there was no way she would take that but she just said that was what she needed clearly it wasn't as she only ever took 30mls but started putting on the weight again . There is no way either of mine will take more than they want so I'm afraid I have no advice but I wanted to show you that dr's aren't always right, maybe she will be a baby that suddenly starts to thrive when solids are introduced?

Thank you all.
Calais has been screaming since 12pm.
I went for a walk for an hour earlier and she slept but the second I came back home she started shrieking.
I had to leave her for five minutes and go to another room in absolute tears and I phoned my oh at work saying I couldn't do this anymore.
....
Now she's got hiccups... no wonder she couldn't go to sleep.
It's really warm here today but calais will not sleep without being swaddled and I do worry about her over heating.
We could do the sleeping in blocks but if I slept from 7-12 I'd only see oh for roughly an hour Monday to Thursday :(. Sometimes I am sleep by eight though for a few hours.
To top it of my television is broke and I can't fix it. So am stuck with the ipad. Such a shame I cant drive somewhere but I don't drive.
To top of it all now she has finished crying and I'm still crying she has a massive grin on her face looking at me
Q - I feel angry for you to.

vroc I read your post during a middle of the night feed then had dreams about Star Wars great outfit!

Thanks for the formula tips, the perfect prep sounds, well, perfect! There's no mention of sterilising the powder on the boxes here though so now feeling a bit guilty that we've just been using non boiled tap water

time you poor thing, it's hard enough to deal with sleep issues or feeding issues but to have them both must be hell. You're doing a fantastic job and it's really insensitive of your in laws to say those things. If she's 6 weeks corrected then fussiness is supposed to peak at 6 weeks ish, and she will get her night/day corrected eventually. I really hope for you that it gets better soon. Good suggestion from purple re HV observing a feed

Your situation sounds very similar to a mum in my group, though she is BF and her baby won't take a bottle. She feeds every 45 mins and never naps in the day, is a v slow weight gainer and the mum is at her wit's end after 8 weeks without sleep. The only consolation is that our teacher told her that it means the baby is super alert/has heightened senses and will most likely be very intelligent when she's older :)

You've probably tried everything re sleeping and settling her, but I go through the 5 S's - swaddle, suck (dummy), swing, shush (I use a white noise app for this) and side/stomach position (eg over your shoulder or lap, on your chest). I normally need to use at least 4 of these before DD settles. Or having her in a sling/carrier works and is good for her reflux as she sleeps upright

Ah Q I would have been so mad!! How do people think that's okay???! I hope you told her to mind her own

time cross posted there. Don't feel guilty about going into another room, that is absolutely the right thing to do when you're feeling that way, and is what our teacher told the mum with a super fussy baby I described above to do when it gets to that point. It's better than getting angry at baby

Just remember you're a great mum and she's lucky to have you, as evidenced by that grin you described!!

Sorry you're having such a bad time time, it's so hard when they're so unsettled. It sounds like you're doing great though. My ds was similar - sicky, velcro baby, only slept when out and wouldn't be put down, falling down the centile. I can't believe they told you to feed her more but didn't tell you how - did they say at all what they expected you to do? Can you go back and ask them for help? I'm no expert on formula feeding so this might be a terrible idea, but when ds was struggling to gain weight they told me to do a feed and then syringe expressed milk into his mouth. Could you try that - if she doesn't finish her bottle put the rest into her cheek with a calpol syringe?

I'm also outraged that your mil and sil were so unhelpful. If they're so certain that you should be sleeping in the day, can one of them not take the baby out for a walk while you nap? I do sympathise though, people with easier babies just don't get it.

And Q, that's atrocious, take him to the hospital indeed!!

Time have you tried skin to skin. When O is really unsettled I strip us both down and camp out on the sofa under a blanket, it calms him right down and he usually sleeps on my chest for a good few hours. I also find he feeds better like this too. Might be worth a try?

Q did you punch her in the face?

I was fuming but did the old 'smile and nod' and ' Ahhh he's ok hope he didn't disturbe you' as if you don't feel like a shit enough mum when they're crying like that - to have someone say they think something is wrong just beggars belief. I wish now I'd had something more useful to say.

rhu hope j is ok after his jabs today

doc you do exactly as we do, even out in public ill slide down my chair and lay him on my chest with a white noise app on quietly near his ear - seems to doze straight off unless there's an actual issue (wind, dirty etc)

Have started to give rory a formula feed around 7pm each night - he guzzles down 5/6 oz each time, yet on the boob he still gets full as he pulls off with his little milk drunk grin - I have a bloody hungry baby, he's going to be huge!

Morning all, hope everyone had good/better nights? I think we might be in growth spurt territory again, C had been going 4-5 hours for the first stint then 4 hours for the second but last night she was back to 3 hours and had both boobs which is rare for her at night. There's a baby at the baby group I go to who is C's birthday twin who has slept through 4 nights in a row, I was very jealous!

Morning, we've been in 'hour and a half' camp all night (which is midnight-6am in this house - it's not like I'm hoping for 12 hours or anything!).

DH (who snores through it all) is tired. Bless him.

I feel guilty now ... DS slept last night 8pm-5am for the fifth night in a row I'm sure I've got some horrible four month sleep
regression coming to me!

I'm so glad the weather is getting warmer, it's lovely to get out in the sunshine with DS. We timed our babies well - I'd have hated these early months to have fallen in the cold dark winter.

Indom I know they say not to get into tiredness competitions but it does wind me up too when DH complains about being tired - he sleeps like a log and has done virtually no night feeds!

C had a terrible night again.
Didn't sleep all evening except for half an hour in the bouncer chair.
Dropped of at midnight and woke up at 1:50. No hungry just wouldn't settle. Woke every ten minutes (every time dummy fell out) until 2:50am. So then I fed her. Wouldn't settle until 4am and would only sleep in swinging chair which I hate letting her do as I'm scared she'll get deprived of oxygen in it
We have this one in the picture.
Then she woke at 6am. Fed and now in carry cot but keeps waking up screaming for thirty seconds and waking up. Just put dummy in and she'll probably sleep until it falls out but she's not staying still so it won't be long.

We always swaddle to sleep as she won't sleep other wise. I use white noise etc but nothing other than the swing chair and a walk in the pram keeps the baby asleep and I don't like the thought of her being in the swing chair all the time when indoors. Her little back is what I worry about.
I did try skin to skin yesterday. Her in just a nappy on my chest- she was having none of it just kept head butting me and screaming.

I also tried the syringe yesterday- she was having none of it. Just kept spitting it out.

Thanks for all the advice though

And she's lost the dummy... Here we go again

I tried making my own sleepy head kinda thing to see if it soothed her,
Twenty minutes later still awake... :(
Just keeps squirming around

time we were loaned something very similar to thiswww.amazon.co.uk/Robopax-Automatic-Baby-Rocker/dp/B004DORTGM when dd was about 6 months old. She had a period of being woken from naps by medical people wanting to examine her and then found it difficult to nap unless she was on the move. So until she decided she didn't need a day time sleep at 18 months any nap I didn't want to walk for she got plonked in her pushchair on that. Might help if you think it is the movement C likes. If she is a fresh air sleeper like eddy I'm yet to figure out any easy solutions to that yet.

Oo thank you I like it. Pay day tomorrow so probably buy it them after consulting with other half later on.
This is c now she has been asleep since.. 830! She woke once for three minutes or so but dropped back off! Result.
They are lucky they are all worth everything they put us through.
I went to bed at nine last night (other half had her until midnight) was awake my self 1:50-4 and oh took her at six and I slept until seven so that is nearly eight hours sleep my self and six for other half but it doesn't feel like it at all!

Also re a sling or letting baby sleep on you. I am terrified of starting a habit of baby thinking they can be on me 24/7 but how many of you let baby sleep on you during the day and does it make them even harder to put down at night?

Time

Some one suggested to me that I should take Martha to see a cranial osteopath if ever she didn't settle. Apparently it can he very effective for unsettled babies.

Have a bit of a read on Google - might be a load of rubbish but it might be worth considering.

Martha is asleep on her side, belly hanging out and farting away. Such a delight!

Rory is currently asleep on me, last night he slept 10-2, 3-4:30 and 5-7 in his moses basket.
Yesterday he slept on me for a nap 9-10:15, we went out for a walk around the local park and he slept all the way around approx 12:30-1:30, and was asleep in his pram from 3-5pm too. Had a bath at 7pm and then he sits with us until he fell asleep at 10. A few whinges but mainly for wind not struggling to sleep. I'm firmly in the 'you can't spoil a newborn' camp and want to make the most of these cuddles!

Conor is asleep on me now too, slept 11-2, 2:30-4:50, 5:30-7 and 7:15-8:30. Reluctant to move him but I need to go vote and collect a delivery from the sorting office...

I agree, you can't spoil a newborn. I really love the newborn snuggles, I missed it when ds got too big. S sleeps on me all the time, Time, and sleeps pretty well at night, I don't put her down awake either, I rock or pat her to sleep in my arms and put her down when she feels asleep enough not to wake up. I figure we should do whatever works at the moment as sleep is so important. I also don't believe it's possible to really create bad habits at this stage as they're still so tiny and change so quickly. If cuddling her to sleep and putting her down asleep becomes a problem then I'll deal with it then, when she's hopefully big enough to learn to self settle. In short - do whatever works and don't feel bad about it!

time, I let my baby sleep in my arms a lot during the day because he's obviously happiest like this and it helps him to sleep a lot better than he does in his crib. Plus it means lots of lovely cuddles and bonding time for us. He will sleep in his crib some of the night, but sometimes he just wants to be held then too.

It does mean it can be hard for me to get stuff done during the day as I'm often on the sofa with a sleeping baby. But, if you're having to comfort Calais every few minutes anyway then just holding her to sleep might not actually take more time.

I honestly don't think you can create bad habits at this age. Babies are so dependent on us and the world must feel so overwhelming to them that it makes sense that they just want to be close to mum as that helps them feel comforted and safe.

I liked this article which talks a lot about how a newborn sees the world and how we can help them feel safe and calm. m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/9607642

I've once again for been following and not posting...I loved catch up on all the news but then end up not writing anything when I get to the end!

Time as others have said, DS sleeps on me at times most days, either in my arms or in the sling. I was really hung up with DS1 about not letting him and got myself all stressed out about him not sleeping well in his crib etc but now I realise that they can't really form 'bad habits' so young, and when they're bigger, it doesn't take too much to persuade them into a better baptise pattern of needed.

We had DS christened at the weekend which was lovely. He was very compliant and slept through the service and then slept again all afternoon being passed around various friends and family. I was pleased to get him back to myself once they'd all gone though!

Ffaux I did have to do a wry smile over the difference in formula instructions. It seems crazy that here we need to sterilise the powder but in the US you don't. I'm not advocating risking a babies health by ignoring the formula instructions but I'm sure they are there just to give you the fear. Surely they should be the same in both the UK and US as I'm sure our water hygiene is very similar. It did make me feel better though about all the times I just use cool boiled water.

Time sorry you had another bad night. I agree at this age babies can't be spolied. E will only sleep in the evening on us, she does sleep in her basket at night but I'm under no illusions this could be a total fluke and change anyday. What are you up to today? Have I remembered right that you are by the sea? Could you sit down on the seafront and hope the sea air knocks her out?

Me totally agree about the sunshine, ds is October so his first few months were cold and bleak. It really lifts my mood walking in the sun. Having said that we have had a busy few days so today is a lazy day. I am going to walk to the polling station later though to vote for the London Mayor.

I've written a really long reply three times and got distracted and lost it! Grrrr! I give up hope everyone is ok, time sorry you're not getting much break, I agree that unless I need to pump she sleeps on me during the day.. Otherwise she wakes herself up when I put her down. Sometimes she then settles sometimes she doesn't.

ffaux I hope you didn't have Star Wars nightmares!

Loving getting out in the sunshine, out of interest what are you dressing your babies in? My living room is apparently 21 degrees today and will get warmer when the suns on it even with the door open, she was asleep in a vest and sleepsuit yesterday but I was worried about her getting too hot?

Vroc I'm clueless about clothing for warm weather. Our front room is chilly so she is in a bodysuit and babygro. When I go for a walk later I'll probably just put a blanket on her. I know it's warm but I look at her little body and worry she might be chilly