March 2016: the one where Indomitable gives birth...

[vroc81]

I hope I haven't duplicated a new March thread in my sleep deprived state.. Went to reply and found thread was full!..

I think sometimes it's just down to the individual baby time, not anything you can do. And 11 weeks is still tiny, it's not unusual to be asking every two to three hours I don't think. They change so quickly - you might find Calais starts sleeping longer just as half of us hit a sleep regression. It happened to me with ds at four months, he went from decent stretches to waking hourly! Then a couple of months later settled down again.

Sylvie is generally pretty chilled, so I can cope with an hour of screaming in the evening. Yesterday she was unsettled all day though and was really windy, kept setting down then suddenly getting a pain and screaming again. Is this colic? Would colief or infacol help? Can you use them if breastfeeding or do they need to go in a bottle? Might take her into town later and see what they have in Boots.

And yes yes to the Love to Dream pods indom, they're amazing!

Yes! "you might find Calais starts sleeping longer just as half of us hit a sleep regression."

Nothing ever stays the same. Just as you've got something sorted, something changes!

[Wow, it's easy to be rational and grounded after a decent sleep and without someone screaming in your ear! I'll be back later when I'm freaking out again!]

Suz, yes we're using infacol (one squirt before each feed - actually, the orangey flavour sometimes stops DS2 screaming long enough to actually feed!). I think it's helping.

time unfortunately in my experience (DD1 was a terrible sleeper), there's not much you can do to stretch sleep out as it's very individual from baby to baby. El never goes more than 3 hours between feeds and it's often shorter. Last night she fed at 10, 12.40, 2.20, 4 and woke up again at 5.50 for another feed- DP managed to settle her for half an hour before DD1 woke up then I gave her another feed! That's a pretty standard night for us. This week we had two good night's which were feeds at 10, 1, 4 and up for the day around 6.30. So you're not alone! I've always thought slightly smaller babies sleep worse/need to feed more but E is now on the 75th percentile and over 11lb and still feeds really frequently so now have to accept that some babies just don't sleep/need more feeding. It does get better though, even DD1 who was an awful sleeper eventually started sleeping through.

Suz, as Indom says, infacol you give with a dropper before feeds, colief you have to mix with milk so would have to express and give in bottle/cup etc.

We had a really bad day on Saturday, O just cried and winged all day (apart from when he was in his sling). He was constantly on the boob. In the end I relented and gave him a bottle of formula while I sobbed all the way through - he guzzled 4oz and was instantly calm! Poor mite must have been starving. Since then he's had a mix of breast and formula and has been happier than he has for the last 3 weeks so we're going to stick with combination feeding. Sorry to everyone else who is struggling with grumpy babies, it really is hard isn't it.

Me if you haven't already, try propping DS up a bit at night (we have a Snuzpod so put a rolled up towel between the frame and the bassinet). It's completely stopped the issues we were having with O's snuffly noisy breathing. I thought it was a fluke, but we were at my sisters this weekend and he was lying flat, and sure enough to the snuffles returned!

Happy bank holiday!!

Happy mummy....Martha slept from 10.30 - 6.00!!! And she's snoozed for most of the day. Given that she was an absolute beast yesterday we feel like we have a different baby today.

I'm making moussaka for tea tonight.... I'm hungry just thinking about it.

Hope the babies are behaving
& if they're not!

Hi all, sorry to hear about the bad sleepers, R has refused to nap at all today so he's really really grumpy, he's had 3 explosive poos and his tummy is making some awful noises so hope he hasn't pocked up a bug. He's been feeding hourly too :-( he's stopped screaming now but only because am rocking him in the dark on the nursing chair in what will be his room. I really hope he naps, my head hurts from the screams :-(

Will read everyone's inputs properly now but time he feeds usually every 2/2.5 hours, never longer than 3 hours and usually that stretch is if we are out and he's fallen asleep

wow good sleep paper! suz glad to hear the hip issues aren't as bad as you first feared

poppins indom purple so glad you said that (about wishing time away) as I feel like that too - constantly thinking 'I can't wait until 3 months/6 months/12 months etc) then feel so guilty about it!!

I had one final appointment with the lactation people at hospital yesterday to see if could move to exclusive BF but it didn't go well - they were able to weigh and see how much she took off me, and it's still only one ounce per feeding, and she needs about 3 now. They said that at 7 weeks my milk supply is regulated and nothing I can do can improve it to 3 x as much, so obviously I felt really sad about that. missi I think you mentioned something a while back about the feelings of failure of not producing enough for your baby, it's tough isn;t it?

However at least I have confirmation now, and permission to let go of everything I was trying. The pumping after feedings has stopped, and I can probably stop with all the disgusting brewers yeast, and fenugreek supplements and everything else I was trying! The nurse said 'it's time to enjoy your baby now', so I give her what I can but then supplement every feed. Without pumping it means I get to interact after the feed and have finally seen lots of smiles since, and it just feels a lot more relaxed now I have a routine and know exactly how much formula to give her. She's still gassy and refluxy and fussy but it's slowly getting better

I have a question to those who have had jabs already...... DD has hers at about 4pm next Tuesday, but then the next morning I have a hair cut booked for 11 - it's a cut and colour and will take a good 2.5 hours - I was hoping I could feed her first and she'll sleep through most of it, but is that wishful thinking the morning after jabs? How long does the crankiness last?

Ffaux I know exactly what you mean. When I gave in and gave O some formula on Saturday I felt a failure for not being able to produce enough milk to keep him happy, but also guilty as he had obviously been hungry and I'd been persevering with the breast feeding. He's so much happier now though (than he has been for the last few weeks) that I know it's the right thing for us. Like you, I intend to start enjoying my baby, as the last 3 weeks have been hard work!

Ffaux apparently the fever peaks about 6 hours after the jab so you might have a tough night but then could have a sleepy baby the following day. Cassidy had hers at 3pm, was very grouchy 7-10, had diarrhoea the next morning but then was much happier and slept most of the day. Make sure you have Calpol handy!

doc we are already raising the head end of DS's Moses basket, that helped some because before he was waking doing lots of gulping and swallowing which it seems to have sorted out, but he still has some nights where he's grunty or just flails around a lot. He sleeps through the flailing just fine but I don't! Hopefully both he and I will sleep deeper tonight.

Not looking forward to these jabs DS has his next week.

I've got a couple of days this week with nothing planned which I don't like, need to contact all my friends who are also off and see if I can arrange something. I find I really get cabin fever if DS and I don't go out every day.

Oh and ffaux and doc I began to enjoy DS so much more once I made the decision to switch to formula. We were and are both so much happier. If you are combi feeding then even better but don't feel bad about giving formula.

Me I don't like having nothing planned either. I think the weather is supposed to be good this week though so on my quiet days I might just do lots of walking.

Ffaux and Doc echoing what ME said. I only managed bf for a few days this time but because it was so stressful I enjoyed E so much more when I had made the decision to stop. I felt guilty too and still wish it had worked for us. You have both done so well to continue this long and should be proud of that achievement. I was very envious of two friends I met up with who could bf easily and then express loads too to do mixed feeding. It just isn't always that easy though is it.

I've had a busy day, boring stuff like ironing, cleaning out my ds fish tonnes of washing. Dh had a lovely long sleep with E and then complained he was tired! So I've snuck off to have a bath in peace as my chance to relax.

Yep another one here ffaux that felt very guilty with giving up the attempting on the breast, I'm doing it the other way round and pumping and feeding but now that I'm no longer trying all three and she's not screaming at my boob while I get upset I am starting to feel a lot happier about it, now the guilt, I've failed where the rest of my NCT group have succeeded feeling is starting to wear off

Hope everyone's had a good bank holiday and maybe the extra day of an extra pair of hands. My DH had tmrw off as well, thankfully as we have had a terrible day. R hasn't slept for more than quick 10 - 20 min cat naps since 6am.. I'm done in! She's also a grunty sleeper which doesn't help me sleep!!

vroc I hear you on the NCT group thing!! I was the first of 6 to succumb to the evils of formula, after 2 weeks of bfing. I was secretly so happy when one of the others switched to formula too a few weeks ago. The other 4 have all got on really well with bfing lucky bitches so I was really feeling the guilt.

And me did you get anything from your NCT course about either how hard breast feeding is or what you can do if you can't? Ours just said she wasn't allowed to discuss formula and then went on and on about BF benefits.. All 7 of us have struggled, a few tongue ties, nipple problems, baby weight problems, latch.. Not one has had a smooth run of it and there was nothing about this - reading other threads on here had pre warned me a bit but someone talking about expressing breast milk, nipple shields, latches, positions and the likes would have been far more useful than banging on about oxytocin and bonding..

vroc did you not have a specific (separate session) on bf with your NCT? I didn't do NCT this time but with DD1 I remember having a separate class with a different teacher covering positions, supply etc though I can't remember it covering tongue tie. Tbh I don't really know anyone for whom bf was 'easy' from the off and I think its really important that classes make that clear.

To be honest me I expect bf will become the minority in your NCT group eventually. Of mine with DD1, I was the only one still bf after six months - one gave up bf after two days, the rest switched around the six month mark and/or had given formula top ups before then.

Has anyone who raises the head of their baby's cot found that their baby slides to the bottom? I think E is a mega wriggler and I keep finding her having shifted down the cot and having rotated into weird positions. We haven't got it on that much of a slant and measured it to make sure it wasn't tilted more than the recommended amount so I can't work out why she keeps shifting into weird positions...

No one should feel guilty about not breast feeding, if formula suits you and baby better you have to do it, no point stressing baby out when there is a perfectly good alternative. I remember with ds we had a nct session on bf were the lady kept saying it was a skill that mum and baby would have to learn and it might not be easy for everyone but I don't think I really understood just how hard and painful it could be. In my group it was half and half but the pediatric doctor in the group was using formula early on so I think that reassured others who were struggling that it was ok! I bf ds untill he was 1, he still had milk in the evening after that but he was a toddler rather than a baby and I wanted to be able to drink more wine so in my opinion it was time to stop, I was the only one in the group still doing it by that point.

We did NCT classes first time round and I remember that we were never told how hard bf is or where to get support from. This time round I was much happier, less guilty when I switched to formula. If it means you can enjoy your baby, do not hesitate to switch!

Marmite and others who have wriggly babies, do you use a sleeping bag or blankets? I don't want to scare anyone but if there is a risk of babies going under the blanket please, please switch to sleeping bags. One of our original NCT babies is no longer with us because of this and it's just heartbreaking.

marmite we didn't have that but it would have been useful, the general consensus from us all was that information was lacking, I suspect it depends where you are and who does your course as well to some extent...

MrsE no ones making me feel guilty they're all lovely but I think there is so much pressure to succeed with it from HCP etc that it's inevitable that your left with some.. I'm pumping so she's having breast milk and googling gives you tonnes of advise mostly from American sites for mums going back to work but as a FTM wasn't something I was really aware of as anything more than something you did if you wanted an evening off but sounds more like something our course missed than something missing from them all..

marmite to answer your question we have the Moses basket on a foam wedge someone lent us and if she bounces her legs about too much she definitely ends up closer than she started, not scrunched up but definitely closer... but as the leg bouncing generally coincides with pooing as she wakes up its not been a problem.. Is she just a wriggler while he was small enough to fit and before he was mobile when awake my nephew used to be found at a right angle to where he started...

And like rhu said he was in sleeping bags that went with him..

marmite we have DS's Moses basket propped up on two big hardback books placed underneath the head end of the stand. He definitely ends up wriggling further down during the night. We are using sleeping bags so thankfully no risk of wriggling under the blankets - Rhu how awful for your friend.

vroc my NCT sessions did include a dedicated bfing session which was taken by a breastfeeding support counsellor rather than the usual instructor. She did go through positions and supply with us but I didn't find it that helpful - it's not really a criticism though, I just don't see how you can really teach it in the abstract!

The only way I think I could have made bfing work is if I'd had my own personal dedicated bfing support person who literally moved in with me for the first few weeks. I know the help is out there if you go out and find it, but when you're barely able to get up from the sofa because of painful stitches etc still less contemplate getting yourself presentable enough to leave the house, going out to bfing support groups just wasn't something I could do.

I agree with vroc that no particular individual has ever made me feel guilty about not bfing but all the posters everywhere etc saying breast is best do make you feel guilty. If you want to look on the blinking aptamil website you have to click through a page saying I understand that breast milk is best, yes I still want to continue. It might as well say yes I understand I am a failure!

She's been in sleeping bags since birth rhu, first in the gro snug and then once she was big enough gro bags. I can't be dealing with blankets at night!

I don't think anyone should feel guilty about formula feeding. Yes breast milk has advantages over formula and I think it would be silly to pretend otherwise but your babies will thrive on formula and if baby and mum are happy that's what matters. I would call myself a bf advocate but that doesn't mean I think everyone should bf, more that people should get the support they need to bf if they want. I know people who desperately wanted to bf but were given bad advice/told to switch to formula and in hindsight they feel sad they weren't able to bf. That's the issue I think. If you're happy and comfortable with using formula you definitely shouldn't feel guilty or like you've failed!

We are sleeping bag fans too rhu though to be fair her wriggling during the day just kicks the blankets down to her feet, not over her.

Our NCT breastfeeding session did cover positions but was pretty blase about the ease of bf (no mention most of us would nickname our babies 'nipple shredder' and there were multiple mentions of giving up on bf or failing to continue. Two months on in our group of 7 one is exclusively ff, one mixed and another only plans to bf for 12 weeks. Any you cannot tell from the babies - they are all thriving which is what counts.

E is sleeping around 4h between feeds at night (though record is 8) and goes down in a few minutes after feeds. We are scared it will change at any point but just enjoying it for now.big hugs to all those with poor sleepers.

Thanks for the sleep advice.
Calais had a pretty awful night again tbh.
Up at 9,12,1,3,6:30. Oh took her all last night and I slept 9-6:30. My turn tonight though ugh.
I think she has day and night mixed up as she slept 8am-3pm yesterday and has been asleep since 8:30am still today.
I do all the right things. Sleep in cot at night and pram/swing/bouncer in the day.
Curtains open in the day,tv on, a walk most days.
Dim lights at night and no noise but I'm not sure she has got it yet.
I cant sleep during the day as like other babies she's so noisy I can't sleep through it . At night I sleep on the sofa and oh shares with her but he comes and gets me when it's my shift.
Hope everyone else is Ok. Now to clean flat and a walk to morrisons later.
Really bored today