December 2012: The one were they are stubborn Monkeys

[halestone]

New thread for us.

Oh yes I poo on you! and repeat all day every day!

I'm sorry about your aunt Hales.

Those aren't parenting fails Spotty, they're DSing fails and he's only hurt himself

Best go to bed, god knows what time hungry Horace will be up. He's eating me out of house and home and has started to wake in the night again demanding milk. I've been giving it to him too as he must need it. He physically can't fit any more meals/snacks in. Plus he's sleeping 14 hours a day. If this is a growth spurt he's going to end up like a giant!

Thanks for the tantrums reassurance all. He had one this morning because I gave A a cuddle and O wanted to push him off my.lap. He got very very cross with dh for siding with me, and snatched a plane off A that he'd been playing with. We calmly told him what he was doing was not nice and he'd go in his room so he had a 5 minute screamathon then pulled himself out of it on his own, went over to A and offered to share three planes. So he can get there, but like wl said, I'm just worried about cutting him off from support and reassrance in the middle of what must feel like immensely uncontrolled emotion he's not used to..

spotty sorry for the diagnosis, but does this mean that it can be tackled? What actually is lupus? (I only know the word from it being discussed on House.. )
Love your ds' idea of punishment beasty!

Took dd to the cinema this morning, only £3.19 for both of us.

Utopian it's an autoimmune disease where your body attacks healthy tissue. They can treat the symptoms but not the cause. I haven't got it too bad atm so hopefully it'll stay that way.

Crikey, sorry to hear that - sounds horrible! Will cross everything for you..

Spotty, i hope that the treatments for your symptoms work.

DP has told me that we are splitting up tonight. I have no idea what happens next i have asked him to move back to his dads but he is saying no he wants to find somewhere else. July has been a truely shite month! All i can think of is what i need to do practically now. I am absolutely devastated.

Oh hales I'm so sorry! Did he tell you why?

Also he can't stay in your house. I would kick him out. He can't expect to do this to you then stay until it's convenient for HIM to go. So sorry

Oh hales, that's awful - did he give you any reason? Agree with spotty, he can't choose to remain at his convenience making everything tense and awful for you.

If he doesn't want to go to his dad's he should go to a hotel/friend/short term let instead.

I've had a bad night with ds, he kept waking for a drink and then I fell down the stairs at 3 this morning! Really hurt my bum!

Oh Hales, I'm so so sorry. Life is so fucking shit sometimes.

I agree to telling him to leave. Now, not when it suits him.

Enormous hugs for you

Hales how shitty! I'm so sorry he has sprung this on you and then doesn't even have the decency to give you some space! I wish I could come give you a big hug.

Spotty you poor thing! Make sure you take plenty of Arnica (I know, I am apparently a hippy but I swear it helps with bruises) a bruise on the bum really hurts!

DS seems to be coming out of his crazy sleep phase and usually sleeps 7:30-6:30 ish. We have gone back to giving him a bottle of milk at bedtime. We still have to put him back into bed a few times but I'm hoping we will soon be past that too. And he still has a nap between 1-2 hours long. Hurrah!

DD has so many teeth ready to burst through, poor love! I think she will have at least 10 teeth by the time her birthday rolls around in a few weeks.

Huge huge hugs, Hales agree with the others that he needs to spend today finding somewhere to fuck off to xx

So sorry Hales.
July is nearly over. Spend this week sorting out practicalities ready for a much improved August. Just don't forget to look after yourself.

When we got up in Tenby this morning it was raining and had 30mph winds. A got cross because we said he couldn't go to the beach. Then he went outside to get in the car to go home- he agreed we'd made the right decision!

We had to go to H's 1st Dance Show together this morning (H was ace). We've come home and said i'll take over paying all the bills so he can save a deposit and move out ASAP, as he can't afford it at the minute.

Twice since we met, i have asked not to have DSD one was when i had a miscarriage and his mum went and picked DSD and brought her to our house to stay despite being told not to. I didn't even have H!! Although i was upset i had to let it slide. Then i explained to him that i couldn't have her this weekend or next week during the week as i would be running round with my nan so that my Aunts funeral could be arranged. So he told his ex and explained again to his family not to pick DSD up and if they did she was their responsibility.

Yesterday morning he told me that he needed the car to pick up DSD from his dads then after a couple of hours take her to his mums. Then he TOLD me i was looking after DSD on monday night as his mum had arranged for her to stay at hers but couldn't do monday or tuesday night. So i kicked off and said no i told you and explained why and you explained to your family that we couldn't. So he said he was stuck inbetween a rock and a hard place. So i have told him if shes staying here he can stay off work and look after her as i was busy. This lead to one hell of an argument and i had to take H to my dads so i could go to work as he refused to look after her if i wouldn't look after DSD whilst he was in work. Anyway he picked H up whilst i was in work, i came home expecting him to be apologetic for everything but he didn't apologised and just blamed me and told me he didn't want this anymore. So we've finished and i am gutted but theres not much i can do or am willing to do to stop this happening.

I will just suck it up till he leaves, i am a master of hiding my emotions to the real world. I am so angry with his mum though for ignoring our wishes and causing this and its not helped by the fact that she is willing to do all this for DSD and has only asked for H for 1/2 hour since she was born and isn't bothered to spend time with H.

Sorry that was alot longer than i intended but was slightly theraputical.

Beasty, sounds like A knew best

Spotty, i hope your bum isn't to sore.

Nutella, yay for T's sleep getting better.

hales . Poor you, that's shitty. I agree with what everyone else has said. Be strong and don't take any crap - maybe phone CAB for some immediate practical advice. Focus on getting the practical stuff done, then allow yourself some emotional time and space.

Hales he shouldn't be staying there bill free so he can get his own place! He should sort it out himself, I'd be packing his bags and chucking them outside, this is so unfair on you you won't be able to get on with things until he's gone

Yep, his problem - and by the way he owes you x amount in child support while he's at it

TBH theres not much practical stuff to sort, i'll be staying in this house with H. I don't claim any benefits so don't need to inform anyone that he will be leaving. I worked my money out last night and i can afford to stay in the house and pay the bills without needing to claim benefits but christmas and birthdays will be cut down to the bare minimum.

I have told him i don't want any child support from him, i just want him to buy H clothes and shoes when she needs them.

WL did you have a nice holiday?

You should be entitled to working tax credit, you work more than 16 hours a week don't you? And child tax credit.

Bless you hales we did but 50% was hardcore rain - taking the tent down and packing up in the pouring rain was challenging!
Also, beware - just because you want to be nice and fair, don't assume xp or his family will be. And don't make your life harder than necessary by not claiming benefits if you are entitled - laudable but rainy day funds are not a bad thing. You shouldn't have to bear the main load - it took both of you to have H so it should take both of you to raise her.
I do know that all of this is easy for us to say though as we aren't going through it. Bless you.

definitely apply for tax credits Hales, they're there to support you while you work.

J been up since 3:30am again. I'm having a text argument with XP about getting him to sleep in the car on the way here. It's clearly not working as this is the second 3am start I've had in 3 weeks.

I didn't think they were supposed to be able to open the stair gaits at 2 and a half!

Gates*