November 2012 - The nights are drawing in again

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2147425-November-2012-Bring-out-the-paddling-pools?msgid=49375941#49375941

QM Book me and M in pronto.

The thought of having more than one genuinely terrifies me now. M is being particularly challenging and I'm not enjoying being a mummy at the moment. I know I am the worst person in the world for saying that, but I look forward to going to work and start dreading coming home from 4pm onwards. I'm sure it will pass. She's spending all of next week with her dad and I bet by Tuesday I'm missing her like mad!

I'm also exceptionally pee'd off that my parents had arranged to have M on friday night so I could play badminton with my team at work and then I'd arranged go out for a drink with a possible man friend. But they've decided they want a quiet night in themselves and therefore I am stuck at home too.

Not a bad mum isles, we all feel like that sometimes, you're not alone. Sometimes I wish I could go to work at the weekend too! This is a challenging phase. Don't beat yourself up too much.

My mum accused me of palming her off on whoever would have her

Not true. My sister had her today as she does (and is paid to) every Wednesday and my mum had her overnight on Tuesday because I was working late, and they offered to. She is with her dad next week because my childminder is on holiday. Hardly dumping her, am I?

Reckon she'd sit quietly at the side of the court while I play badminton?

Haha yw. Welcome to the club. I get that now (although not as much since DD1 started school of course). I dread to think what it will be like once I've got dc3 strapped to me

qm lovely to hear from you. And it's great to hear the move and job is going so well.

isles it doesn't make you a bad mummy. It makes you human. Being a mummy is tough enough as it is and you are doing it single handedly. We all feel that way every now and then. don't beat yourself up about it.

isles this is a challenging age and I promise you it gets better. LO is more of a pita than DD1 is now and I thought that was impossible You wouldnnt be human if you didn't dread looking after your own child daily occasionally.

QM me, the original islander yellow wellies, my dodgy knitwear and the smalls will be with you come April for the puffin season. I'm so glad to hear how well life is unfolding for you (bar your bereavement ). I feel the same way about my job and its a real joy going to work every morning. Not having that massive childcare bill must be such a relief!

Isles j was really challenging in late pregnancy and I was dreading being at home with the two of them but its working out much better than I'd feared. The more time I'm with him the more in sync we are and the less he acts up. I think he was missing me and our old routine when I was so preggers and tired / working every spare minute. Now we're much huggier and I'm not having to constantly jump from adult world to toddler world at home time. I found that daily transition really hard. Having said that the newborn is definitely the easiest to look after and I do get a nice break the 3 mornings J goes to the CM! Once you've got two you do wonder what a big deal it was having your first. They're physically hard but not taxing mentally unlike toddlers and having to think 3 steps ahead all the time!

I am working a lot. 40 hours and counting this week. I've found myself taking her out in the car most nights to a) get her to sleep and b) get some headspace. I think I'm just in a bit of a hole realising that all my childless friends get to go on with their lives while I'm stuck at home with a toddler.

What a wonderful update qm! Love it!

What's the chat wanda?

isles you are human and trying to do this on your own. I am sorry that your mum is not being supportive just now. Take deep breaths and try to remember that tomorrow is another day. And remember this - m is very much her mother's daughter - smart as a tack and takes no shit.

Feeling pretty knackered and low-level poorly tonight. I woke feeling rough and coughed until i was sick. We had a friend over for lunch so I was so busy that I kind of forgot until she left and then it hit me again. Now I just feel a bit shite so I am nursing a hot honey and lime drink. We had no lemons. . .

My car has broken down again. And for a moment there I thought I wasn't getting a hire car. Thankfully it arrived just after the scream! Hopefully it is sortable. But is the same fault as it had on Feb.

pass

QM that brought a tear to my eye! So happy for you xx

Have spent the day glossing, house looking better but man I am tired!

I'm a firm believer in the adage that when people are the hardest to love is when they need it most. It definitely seems true with toddlers. Just before I had Lilla I used to get in from work, want a cuppa and to rest my swollen ankles in peace whilst I MNed ([blus) , Jonas obviously wasn't signed up to this plan and wanted me to engage more than my energy levels wanted. Even with DH to share the load I found it hard to go from rational adult / work world to demanding / irrational toddler time so it must be doubly hard for you. Bizarrely it must be even harder the days after you've had a break whilst she's stayed away. I know my sister takes a day to adjust from child free weekends to when the kids return from their Dad's. I found the more I immersed myself in him the easier he was and the less resentful I was. Maybe just have a nice quiet one on one day at the weekend? It sounds like a slow paced day is what you need too with those long hours. Hopefully your Mum will be able to help next week instead?

BP I HATE glossing. Come do ours!

Yep. Glossing is the devil's work. I remember doing the Victorian panel doors in our flat - I shouted out exactly which part of the door had to be done in how many strokes while DH sweated and occasionally yelled "which part is the fucking munting again?"

House viewing and working all weekend so that's unlikely. She's with XP all of next week so I'll at least get to have some adult time then. And I have a friend's leaving party next weekend to look forward to. I know I'm lucky to get a break sometimes, I'm just really annoyed my mum has cancelled this Friday when it was her suggestion in the first place and I'd subsequently made exciting plans

As an aside, if anyone's looking to get the vtech toot toot garage for xmas, I've just nabbed it on ebay for £29.99, delivered. Been watching it for ages and price has varied from £33 to £45. Small victories and all.

Yaaaawn Lilla why do you do a stonking great poo 20 minutes after I've shut my eyes for the night then decide for afters you'll have a wee snack. Necessitating my holding you upright for half an hour after - fecking reflux!

Isles I got that from a Jack and Jill sale - it keeps J busy for aaaages. I've just got him the Happyland airport, vets and castle on eBay for less than half price - hell he won't know its second hand.

I have no excuse for being awake really

Also, not ebay. Amazon. My bad.

Enjoy the snuggles yw they're priceless.

I've just taken my last antibiotic. Pain hasn't changed so I'm sure it wasn't coming from the urine infection, although clearly I had one if there was blood etc in my sample. I've to do another sample and I assume get an appt if things didn't improve! So... 8am I'll be on the phone to drs yet again hitting redial over and over. The other option is get Dh to take me down for opening.... And then possibly have to hang about for a while waiting or get Dh to come back for me. Uh!

It is very hard to be a single parent and make plans for socialising. I don't live in the same city as my parents so it's not like I can call them to look after O at anytime. They are brilliant and recently they looked after her a lot while I went for the half marathons but I still heavily rely on my lovely babysitter. Maybe that can be an option for you? I found a student at the local Uni and she is cheap compared to others, she has been babysitting for O since May last year. She also lives 5 min away so very convenient for both of us.

And you are not a mean mummy, there are days like that for everyone.

vq lovely to hear from you!
izzy so sorry that you are in pain still

I want mum

Obviously I mean but the sad face on the phone comes out as a hmm face

to izzy andwanda

We haven't had a childfree evening out since DD1 was born. I have recently found a babysitter I trust (the CM problems put me off) but DD1 has separation anxiety for anything none routine. So if DH goes out for the night, I am not going to tonight's PTA etc.

Anyway I was chatting with herbabysitter this week and post holiday we are going to build them up, an hour, thentwo etc. She works at nursery so at least the kids know her.

NEW THREAD: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2210282-November-2012-Halloween-costumes-anyone just in case anyone's feeling particularly murderous this morning.