sept 2014: babies are here (or coming soon!)

[allisgood1]

Even though dc3 is end of August, thought I'd start a sept thread :-)

How are you all doing?

dS1 is 9 dats old. Feeding well and surely sleeping well but it's hard to know as I keep falling asleep at night feeding him!

Eli often does that, takes an oz just to go to sleep very annoying!

Yep Em does the crying for food then taking half an oz before passing out, along with spitting her dummy forcefully across her bed - before crying cause she wants it back

Velvet this is just an idea - may or may not be relevant to you - but for me the day I understood the meaning of an overtired baby things suddenly made more sense - do you think your LO maybe crying cause he is too tired but refuses to go to sleep too? So far as I know Babies won't like to stay up more than 1-2 hours at a time and they need a nap a few times a day to rest ... My DS gets really agitated if he is not rested enough

holls not just yours,here as well. Sometimes it seems he doesnt know what he wants. Seems hungry,gets milk-no-dummy-no-milk-yes 2 sucks-no more-dummy-yes-no-milk-no-yes.... and so on. The same with falling asleep. Eyes closed,seems deeply sleeping,t hen in a second-bang,eyes wide open and stays awake.

nazly You're right, it could be it. But usually he doesnt stay awake longer then 2 hours and he screams from the minute he awakes,no matter how long nap he had. And he generally has problems to go to sleep during the day. Takes long and very interrupted, needs dummy and soothing very often, stroking his head and cuddlimg when he cries. Not the same at night though. It's strange. I don't really believe when it's said babies cry from boredom. I think he has to have some reason to cry and feel like a shity mum not to know how to help him. Feel like should handle him better or he'd be happier with someone else. Then I hate myself for this thoughts.

Katharine Thank you for the link,will definitely check it!!

Velvet, have you spoken to you HV? She might have some tips or be able to help with a home visit. Excessive crying really grinds you down (DS1 cried an awful lot as he had feeding issues and was hungry and it was exhausting mentally and physically), and is linked to PND, have you had your 6 week check yet as it might be worth mentioning how you feel to your HV or GP. I found while ds1 cried I would feel quite detached, as soon as he stopped I would feel normal again, it used to upset me. Sorry I can't help more, other than offer sympathy. X

So it is 5am and I have just cwtched down on the sofa with DS, blanket, tea and cat. He has never been a good sleeper but the last few nights I have been unable to get him back down in his pram after 4am. I know I should persevere but I am too tired and we have no spare room so DHs sleep is then affected too. He has just gone 5 weeks so hoping it may be a growth spurt - doubt it as I am sure it is wind. DS also does the 2 sucks and leaves it thing too. I waste so much formula.

I took Em to the Dr last night to get some medicine for her reflux and got given baby gavsicon to try. Gave her the first sachet in her bedtime bottle not expecting it to make any difference, and went to sleep about 10.30. Woke up just after 5am when my husbands alarm went off! That's the longest she has ever slept, don't know if its a fluke or if the medicine has stopped her acidy stomach waking her up but fingers crossed it's the latter

Hope your LO is feeling better soon ilove, and things get easier for you too velvet

Misog wow. Last night we had wake ups at 12.40,3.10 and 540. Anything I can do to encourage the dropping of the 3.10 feed?!

Glad b not only child to do irritating 1 mouthful feed, grrrrrrrrrr.

Nazly, my LO can go all day without a nap :-). I thought they needed to nap more than that but at my mums coffee morning thing yesterday lots of girls said their kids didn't nap during day at 6 weeks.... I could do with him napping for my own sanity!

All Eli does is nap, he will sleep all day if I let him! Huge problem. At night he likes to sleep on his tummy and part of me is thinking of letting him as I might get a decent sleep then!

Well yesterday was the day from hell. DS screamed from 3.30pm until 11pm yesterday with only a couple of 10 minute breaks in between. DH was out until 10pm. Not got a clue what was upsetting him. He was fussing, grabbing his bottle and pulling it away whilst being ravenously hungry all evening and just generally worrying me and stressing me.

He then slept.

And slept.

And slept.

And god love him, slept.

He only woke when we got up at 7am, when DH got up for work.

He's had a big feed without fuss this morning and is much calmer and happier and has promptly snoozed off again. Thank fuck.

As much as I would love him to repeat the sleeping, I wouldn't want him to if its proceeded by an evening like last night.

In sure DS would prefer to sleep on his tummy too but Im too scared to let him do it at night. Im so tired!

DS was only taking a couple of ounces at his 3am feed so Friday night I started giving him a bit of water instead and haven't looked back. He now sometimes stirs but just needs his dummy putting back in.

Ella how old is your lo? My DS finishes his 7 ounce feeds but at 7 weeks 8 ounce bottles seem too big but there are definitely times he could take more.

As for naps during the day they are all over the place but I'm not too worried but it does mean there are days when he is overtired by bedtime which is the only reason I wouldn't mind a little more structure. If only they were born pre-programmed!!

I compromise by letting his sleep on his side, though even that hasn't worked the last few nights .

My sympathies to all of you struggling with crying. Jessica tends to get quite irritable and cries a lot most evenings, but a few times she has had a stomach upset / colic and cries for, quite literally, hours; and nothing seems to settle her. Literally makes me want to scream and bang my head against a wall after a couple of hours, so I do understand how rough it is. Best advice I can give is to say if it's getting too much just put baby down somewhere safe, walk away for 5-10 minutes and give yourself a break, and remind yourself this will pass eventually. It's much easier said than done I know. Sending you all sympathies.

Oh, and Jessica also does the screaming for food, has a few sucks and that's it routine. Most irritating. Especially when it's expressed milk and it's taken a blooming hour to express enough milk to make up a feed and 95% ends up getting thrown down the sink.

On the subject of expressed milk, Jessica still cluster feeds of an evening and tends to be quite irritable around this time. She will merrily take my boob in the daytime and at night but for some reason in the evening she will often reject taking milk from my boob after a (long) while (she'll just scream hysterically if I try and feed her) even though she's clearly hungry - screaming, chomping on fingers etc. If she's offered a bottle of expressed milk though she'll wolf it down. I'm wondering if after her cluster feeding off my boobs for a couple of hours she just literally empties them and the eventual screaming is because I don't have any more milk to give her? If it was wind etc surely she would reject bottles too? I don't know what to do. Also thought she was supposed to be growing out of evening cluster feeding now (she'll be 8 weeks old on Friday). Should I persevere with expressing milk to give her in the evenings or give in and start mix feeding? I'm seriously fed up of her screaming all evening.

DS is 8 weeks. He is still evening cluster feeding. He's turned into a little nightmare since he has learnt he can bat or pull the bottle away or otherwise reject it. He's clearly still hungry and begs for more. If I offer him boob he is just going completely mental and just screams (he doesn't get boob very much as its still painful and lately he complains as my flow is too fast).

So no advice Kitkat, but it seems kind of similar - perhaps some sort of learning phase?

I have another problem here- ds throws up a lot, so he feeds, then bring a lot of it up then wants feeding again !!! Exhausting...

Re sleeping - ds is 12 weeks today and it is around 4weeks that I started letting him sleep on his tummy and god that made a bog difference to me sanity and wellbeing and his irritability too as we now both get decent sleep. I think the matter of risk of cot bed is handled very poorly here making lots of mums and babies very unhappy and tired - they rely on statistics but don't separate out death because of mum or dad being drunk or on drug, etc. With other types...
I was frightened in the beginning and ordered a breathing monitor which I still use; but he is more than capable of rotating his head both ways now anyhow...

I can't remember who said this before, maybe it was you red, but I came to conclusion whatever works for you and your baby ...

"she just literally empties them and the eventual screaming is because I don't have any more milk to give her"

and

"Also thought she was supposed to be growing out of evening cluster feeding now"

The two may be related. The purpose of cluster feeding is to increase your breast milk supply.

She probably does more or less empty your boobs after cluster feeding. You'll still be giving her a little milk (and a lot of comfort sucking) from the breast but not full feeds that leads to 'milk drunk' sleepiness. The continued sucking 'teaches' your body that more milk is needed though.

By giving her a bottle of expressed milk, your breasts are not learning to make more milk at this time of the day. So therefore she cannot grow out of cluster feeding because the cluster feeding is not serving its purpose of increasing your milk supply.

For what its worth my DD (nearly 6 weeks) has a fractious, unsettled few hours from 5pm through to bedtime. She will feed, refuse, suck hands, scream, feed more, get upset because boobs are empty, scream some more. And so on. It's just normal. I know its nothing personal against me, she would be just as unsettled with anyone else.

You are not doing anything wrong. Just let her suck/ breastfeed and try to help her sleep.

"he is more than capable of rotating his head both ways now anyhow..."

That would be key to me allowing front sleeping, if needed. Baby needs neck muscles to lift head and move head. If baby cannot do this then they could easily suffocate on their front.

But your LO is likely to be rolling over soon (4 months ish, if memory serves me right). Once babies have learnt to roll over then the battle of you controlling how they sleep is lost anyway, they will roll over to how they feel most comfortable.

I made a new thread for us, because this one is about to max out at 1000 posts. We can continue our chat here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2226583-September-2014-Babies-leave-the-newborn-stage-behind-Thread-2

I agree completely September babies. Unfortunately it gets to a point where she gets so upset that she just won't latch on at all as she's screaming so much so I don't even think she encouraging my supply by that point, and I just don't know what else to do. Last night I even had milk in my boob (I know this as it was dripping down my top!) as it had been an hour and a half after she had last latched on and I must have 'replenished' by then but she was so angry about it being empty an hour and a half earlier - and had been crying / screaming the whole time - that she just wouldn't latch at all as she was too agitated. So in the end I just give up and give a bottle as I don't know what else to do.

Oops, missed the new thread link! x