Elderberries no 2 - all old and new berry babies welcome!

[HazleNutt]

New thread!

Car's going to cost £350 to fix, 2 new tyres, one new shock absorber, new windscreen wiper pump plus a few other bits

Had a falling out with my OH as I asked him to deal with the car mot this year. I have always dealt with everything, car service, mot, insurance, house bills, utilities, shopping, I even drealt with everything to do with buying our house, I do even more now I'm on mat leave as he says that 'I have the extra time'. So I put my foot down and said he should do the car. Mot runs out tomorrow so I reminded him last night, queue panicked call and car being booked in today. I had no idea where the place was and couldnt find it, then I couldnt park and there was no way to get the pram into the office so had to leave him outside. Then they have called me to arrange the quote and when to fix etc. My OH is just down the road so I asked him to pop in and sort the quote, his answer 'I can't I don't know where it is'. Someone pass me the gun! He has no idea how tricky it is doing everything with a baby. Plus I had to arrange lifts to and from swimming as we have to car.

sorry for the moan

Moan away Mother. My car needs the rear brakes doing, a shock absorber, front tyre replacing, air con doing, new wiper blades. The brakes are so bad that as I'm driving they're squealing constantly and it hasn't been services in aaaages.

My OH is a mechanic who owns his own garage.

No fucking hope is there!

That said, when he does eventually get around to doing it I won't get a bill so I can't moan too much

Oh and I just ordered my own mothers day card and a small keepsake (heart shaped silver earing which say mum on them) as he hasn't sorted anything yet. I do wonder why I bother at times.

He came in tonight and wanted to confirm that the money I struggled to save before mat leave would be used for the car. It was meant to mean I could go to baby groups, pay for swimming, lunches etc without worrying about crappy smp not stretching. This is even though he won £150 on a bet at the weekend and he is getting commision on top of his basic at the moment due to being moved to sales. Seems his money is his but mine belongs to both of us. Tempted to tell him to poke it.

Sorry about the car stress

Random aside but I was googling Mauritius and vaccinations, trying to find out if S needs any, and how bitchy is the first reply on this thread?!
www.tripadvisor.com/ShowTopic-g293816-i9265-k250101-Babies-Mauritius.html

There is also a tip there about bf'ing babies on take off to prevent ears popping - would that be possible? (For those who have flown?) They don't need to be strapped in?

Hilarious Alex I found that exact same thread googling vaccinations for M when we go! I couldn't believe it. I mean how dare you take your child and spend two uninterrupted weeks in their company as a family

Mother you should indeed tell him to bugger off. Why should you pay for it when you're currently not earning a proper salary?!

Oh and totally possible Alex I did it when we flew and M was 10 weeks, although on the way out I had expressed a feed and found that marginally easier. I did have to take a swig of it as we went through security though Of course by then you may well be bottle feeding so could just give her formula too.

Me again!

Yes they do need to be strapped in but you can still do it just about

Alex I fed E a few times on the plane and nobody batted an eyelid. The baby seatbelts are so pointless loose that you can easily get the baby into a position to BF. I didn't feed on take off or landing and E's ears seemed fine.

I asked our district nurse about vaccinations and she said they don't generally vaccinate babies against anything, even Malaria, because the vaccines aren't licensed for use on children so young, but if the babies are BF then whatever the mother has been immunised against should pass to the baby.

Oh that's interesting thanks cav - so janey are you not vaccinating for Mauritius?

Finding evenings tough as it's soooo nice relaxing tonight with a spritzer and watching tv (DH is at the pub with work) but I know I should sleep when she does her good run - it's so nice just chilling though. Will regret it come the early hours!

I am so jealous of you lot all going to Mauritius!
Alex I am the same in the evenings - it is so nice to have some baby-free time I really put off going to bed, and then regret it at 3am.

Mother that is ludicrous your DH thinking you have extra time! Clearly he has not had much practice looking after the baby and trying to do anything else at the same time. And also ludicrous him presuming you'll pay for the car out of your money.
I've just been having a row discussion with DP about the balance of work/housework/childcare in this house, in particular about him swanning off on a night out the other night and leaving the house a tip for me to sort out. He won't admit he was wrong or apologise because he is stubborn and knows I am right, but he is now as I type making silent amends through the medium of tidying so I won't moan too much.

I'm jealous too quod!! Not sure we will be going anywhere, the main option is texas as we have family their but the thought of the flight terrifies me!

It's still a bit frosty here, he's sleeping in the spare room after his snoring kept me awake for an hour and a half last night, that and me asking him to go an see to H at 7 when his alarm went off, instead he went and had a shower first so I had to get up and deal with H, then came down to coke spilt on the laminate floor and left their, his breakfast stuff left on the side BUT did he feed the pets? No course not. That plus todays other dramas means we are not exactly lovey dovey tonight. He has just got so lazy lately, he basically lodges here, he doesnt actually get involved in anything else, its really beginning to bug me. Sorry I'm such a moany cow today....shall try to get out the right side of the bed tomorrow.

In other happier news H did his first 2 solo swims today and he was fab, no tears he even kicked his legs to get to the surface....thank god, as I was terrified letting go of him under the water

Ah well done H, was that at waterbabies? Mine was cancelled because some baby in the class before puked and a mum in our class said she could see bits of it in the pool. I'm a terrible mum as I just thought the chlorine will kill germs and I just won't look too closely, but because one person complained, the class was cancelled - S and I were so disappointed (well, I was).

I do the majority of the housework while I'm on mat leave here which I think is fair, but DH is quite a tidy person generally and often washes up dishes while I go to bed etc. If he was messy, I think I'd have to have words!

Oh and DH irons his shirts! Am crap at that job anyway.

I think most men will try to get away with doing as little as possible! We have a cleaner and have not given it up during mat leave to avoid more conflict. I cook every night and he does the washing up with no questions asked. But anything more he will whinge.
Over here I think sleep is slightly finally improved. I only fed L once at around 3. She did wake up twice more but went back to sleep by herself and was up at 7:30 only. So although my sleep was interrupted I stayed in bed which is a massive bonus!
Had 8 month check yesterday. Have you all had it? I thought it was all a tick box exercise tbh!

Yep at waterbabies, ahh gutted that yours was cancelled.

I honestly do everything alex, all the shopping, cooking, hoovering, mopping, dusting, dog walking, animal feeding, bed making, clothes washing, drying and putting away, meter readings for the utilities, I organised the free cavity wall insulation we are getting, I do all night wakings with H, I even do all the bedtimes, he sometimes helps with bathtime but nothing else. I don't mind doing more while on mat leave but doing everything is beginning to wear a bit thin.

I've been like a parrot lately and keep saying 'mum, mum, mum' to H as he is getting quite good at copying noises now, this morning he repeated 'mum' for the second time. Just wish he knew what it meant unfortunately he has no idea.

For some reason I say an encouraging "yeah" to S ALL the time, and yesterday I swear she said "yeah"! DH says that's not her first word haha, I guess we don't want it to be "yeah". I also say "hello" all the time and it really sounded like she said that earlier this morning. We'll wait until it's a proper word we like though, before it's her official first word

Hope the 8 month check went well lol although eek if we have to wait until then for sleep to improve!

Over here E says Mum, but doesn't seem to associate it with being me other than repeating it over and over whenever she's tired and wants boob, so I think in her world saying Mum = boob. Her new favourite game at the moment is peekaboo, which she has played for a while with help but she has just started 'hiding' by holding objects over her own face and then pulling them down again. This to her is hilarious and it's super cute to watch but she doesn't seem to get bored of it and it can wear a bit thin after 100 times.

I do most of the housework here because DH works long hours, but he does what he can when he's around and there certainly isn't any assumption or expectation from him that it's my job to get it done. Mother it sounds like your DH is a bit neanderthal and needs whipping into shape pronto.

mother he certainly sounds lazy and inconsiderate. Does he actually improve your life in any way? And I bet he does not plan to start doing 50% of everything when you go back to work.

Here DH does the bigger share, being at home, and we have a cleaner as well. We're not obsessive about cleaning, but both relatively tidy, which helps.

The trouble is that I have some control issues and want to have things done my way, so get a bit annoyed when I think he could have done x, and he spent time doing y instead. I'm working on it, because in reality his choices are just as valid and I should not whine that he chose to clean the swimming pool when I though that we should work on sorting out the basement, or similar. But sometimes still email him lists of suggestions about what he could concentrate on that day

I think I must be crap at housework as I honestly find it difficult to get much done when on W-duty - I'll often start something and then have to abandon it halfway through because she wakes up or needs something. Also because I am still working, I'm often in the position of either having a chance to answer those emails or hang the washing up, so housework comes second. Wish we had a cleaner! Anyway Mother I am very impressed that you manage to get all that done single handed but totally agree that you shouldn't have to.

Cavort, W makes a 'meh' sounding cry when she is hungry as do a couple of my other NcT friends' babies - I've been wondering if that would translate somewhere down the line into 'mummm' for boob...

thanks ladies, he is indeed a caveman, we did agree I would do the lions share due to being at home but sometimes it is harder than I thought it would be. Plus I also doubt he will suddenly change when I'm back at work.

Ahh cav that does sound cute, if a bit repetitive

Haha, I am determined H will say mum before dad. Have you seen the ophra winfrey you tube video about a babies 5 cries quod? They were spot on for H and really helpful

mother, but you're not at home to be a housewife and cleaner, you're at home taking care of the baby. Anything else you manage to do is extra, but optional. If you would hire a nanny, you would not expect the nanny to also do all the housework, would you?