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Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

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Original poster

October 2013 Bus Graduates - Routines?! Our babies clearly haven't read the manual.

999 replies

Shirehobbit · 26/11/2013 07:42

Apologies for the x-posting that meant there's no thread link in the last thread .
I'll start this one and hope people find it.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

xuntitledx · 04/01/2014 04:06

Really fucked off and can't post on FB as FH will see it.

A few years back, he pulled his back hoovering the stairs and it was really bad, it happened at 3am and he literally couldn't move and I couldn't lift him so had to call an ambulance. He was admitted to hospital and advised something about the muscles but they could be prone again so to be careful when lifting, exercising et.

Since we've had the baby he's really playing up on this and I know it sounds awful but I think he's over egging it :( take tonight, he was playing on his PS4 when I fed and cuddled for about 40 mins but as soon as I put LO down, wide awake again so FH tries to rock him off to sleep whilst I get showered and bits. 30 mins later, LO still isn't asleep and FH is clearly quite grumpy so I take LO and have FH snapping at me that his back is really hurting.

Call me a cynic but I think he was more pissed off that I pulled him off his PS4 to help. If his back has been hurting then why hasn't he made a GP appointment or even taken any painkillers?!!

Well, as you might have seen on FB, we've now set up the big cot in our room as LO has outgrown his moses but this change has unsettled him and he's back to waking up every 2/3 hours. I've fed and cuddled but as soon as I put him down, ping, wide awake again and insta-screaming.

I get upset because I'm so tired and FH does nothing... Just goes back to sleep - then 5 mins later must feel guilty as he said if I can't get him back down a second time then to wake him up...yeah right...so you can start moaning about your back again.

Argh! Pissed off with him and his lack of pro-activity to get help if he needs it. Pissed off because LO is barely sleeping during the day and is now up again through the night.

I think FH forgets that in 11 weeks, the most sleep I've had in one stretch is 6 hours and only a handful of times. I am exhausted! I don't get a break because my back hurts or because I'm tired and I certainly don't get free time to sit playing games on a PS4. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

xuntitledx · 04/01/2014 06:33

Oh and to add (whilst I'm up again!!) - his back never jury's sitting on the crappy plastic unsupportive chair for hours on end playing the PS4!

xuntitledx · 04/01/2014 06:33

*hurts

JellyCurls · 04/01/2014 07:53

untitled no advice for DH but when we put our kids in cot we put Moses basket in there first so they slept in basket in cot and got used to different surrounds and bed gradually.

pinkbuttons · 04/01/2014 10:52

oh untitled that really is crap
agree on the moaning about pain and doing nothing about it, my DH does that and drives me mad.
I would definitely make the point to him about free time for the play station. maybe be overly nice and say i understand that your back is sore so while were waiting for your GP appt maybe you could help in other ways to support me... I think would come out very sarcastic from me but DH normally gets the idea. he needs to understand how exhausted you are and that he can help. I really hope he gives you a break today and sees the dr if his back really is sore
sending you hugs x
jelly definitely allowed to moan about sleep regression I think its worse after youve had a good night to go back to broken sleep

Lovelybitofsquirrel · 04/01/2014 11:56

untitled my dh also gets bad backs and is a perpetual doctor avoider. I end up saying that if it's not bad enough to do something about then it's not bad enough to moan about!

Lovelybitofsquirrel · 04/01/2014 11:59

We're approaching the end of the thread! At a snail's pace admittedly but we'll need a new one soon.

emmoB13 · 04/01/2014 18:51

untitled when my sister was first diagnosed and had her first chemo i went up to my mums with H to sit with her so my mum could go out and do odd jobs. I was gone for about 6 hours and the house was a mess when i left. I got back - still a mess! I was sleep deprived, emotional and had had H all day who was grumpy because he was sleep deprived. DP was well rested (got a lie in when i left) and had spent the day playing on his PS3. I went mad, crying and everything because there hasn't been a day since H was born where i have gotten up leisurely, sat around for 6 hours and done what i want to do. Since then he's been tons better. For some reason they just don't get it. Bottom line is he helped make this baby, you had to grow the baby, he should now be pulling his weight! His back clearly isn't as bad as he says and its really bad that he's using it as an excuse to not look after his son. I think a hard word and some home truths are in order! LO is as much as his responsibility as yours and a lot more important than his game. I really hope he bucks up his ideas and helps you more. Big hugs! x

roxvox · 04/01/2014 21:30

pinkbuttons the doctor did call me back on Thursday but I missed the call! She left a message for me to call again on Friday if I still needed to speak to her, but it appears to have reduced quite a lot so I thought I would leave it and see how it is next week.

xuntitledx I feel for you. My DH is very good with A, but he is also a doctor avoider! Took me years of nagging to get him to go there about his dodgy ankles, but he did eventually.

I had a bit of a breakdown a couple of weeks ago because DH arranged a night out with his friends. I never normally ask him to confer with me before planning a night out (he only sees them a handful of times a year because they all live in different areas of the country now), and he thought I was just being silly when I got upset about it until I explained that he is completely free to do as he pleases on a day to day basis, without having to consider anyone else, whereas I am completely tied to A. I wouldn't change it for the world, and wouldn't change this life with A for my previous life without her, but it does seem quite unbalanced at the minute in that he can do as he pleases and I cannot. However, since explaining that, he's been much more understanding and is always offering to help (although short of growing milk producing boobs there still isn't a lot he can do to help most of the time!)

xuntitledx · 05/01/2014 02:34

Thanks all, DH and I had a chat yesterday and he apologised and said he would get himself to the Doctors if the pain carries on. In the meantime he got out the baby carrier so LO is distributed and he can carry him a bit easier.

I also had breakfast made for me

I love my new life, I really do but they can't possibly understand the frustration of LO waking up every 2/3 hours at night and having to attend to them because nobody else can not to mention struggling to do anything for ourselves and by ourselves anymore!

roxvox · 05/01/2014 10:33

bowlfull thank you for the advice re moving A into a crib. I want to move her over, but I don't need to move her over. Starting Monday I am going to try putting her in it each night. I am not too hopeful, but fingers crossed she'll surprise me! And if not then I'll just have her back in our bed and try again next week.

BowlFullofJelly · 05/01/2014 19:20

Sometimes they suprise you roxvox so fingers crossed! We changed dd from being swaddled to sleeping bag a few weeks ago. First few times she just kept waking, and so she went back in swaddle, then tried the sleeping bag again a week later. Took three or four attempts, but then one day she was just happy with it.

Can't believe my baby is three months old today! Have just sorted through all of her clothes again amd packed away all of the 0-3 months. Its going so quickly - I have a friend due her first in april, and dd is going to look huge next to a newborn.

Sephy · 05/01/2014 21:09

Back to the thread to ask a TMI question I'm just too embarrassed to post on fb with my photo next to it...

HAs anyone else's discharge changed since giving birth / breastfeeding? And when your periods started again, was it as normal or a bit different? Worried I may have some kind of infection as I've had yellow thick discharge and now tonight a tiny bit of blood. (sorry tmi). Off to the doctor tomorrow I think...

OrangeBlossom2 · 06/01/2014 07:13

Mine went green due to infection sephy. Drier than usual is normal when bf. No sign of period here yet thankfully.

Slippysnow · 06/01/2014 07:25

sephy mine had a slight blood tinge today really hoping it's not my period. Hope your ok, have you had any other symptoms of an infection ?

chickieno1 · 06/01/2014 09:11

Untitled glad you had a proper chat with your dh. Hope it helps x

roxvox · 06/01/2014 09:13

sephy I come here to ask TMI questions too
My lochia has since tailed off completely, aside from a very light discharge which is yellowy green. slippysnow what are the other symptoms of an infection?

Slippysnow · 06/01/2014 09:54

I was thinking of the thrush symptoms like itchiness, redness, pain during sex and stinging whilst weeing.

Also I think you can get lumpy discharge too.

Slippysnow · 06/01/2014 09:55

orange if you don't mind me asking was yours a different area of infection?

roxvox · 06/01/2014 12:33

slippy thanks, I've not got any of those symptoms and it seems to be decreasing every day so I'm not going to worry unless it increases or I see blood again.

sephy I hope it goes well at the doctors today.

I've (possibly prematurely considering how slow this thread is) started a new thread, just in case

Link here

OrangeBlossom2 · 06/01/2014 20:37

Not sure what it was slippy, they gave me amoxicillin after doing a swab but it came back so on different ones too.
Green, itchy and thought might have fistula and it be linked to that but gynaecologist said she couldn't see one.
Thanks roxvox.

roxvox · 06/01/2014 22:59

Just going to finish off this thread.

roxvox · 06/01/2014 22:59

I know GTbaby would be upset if I didn't.

roxvox · 06/01/2014 23:01

I hope legally makes a re-appearance in the next thread. Which, just to remind you all (all 4 of you ) is here

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