October 2013 Bus Graduates - Routines?! Our babies clearly haven't read the manual.

[Shirehobbit]

Apologies for the x-posting that meant there's no thread link in the last thread .
I'll start this one and hope people find it.

Hope you all had a nice Christmas!!!
J still sleeps for no more than 3 hours at night... Very different from my other dcs.
Happy baby shattered mum!!! :(
As for routine ( any) I can forget for now...

It's still up and down here too - down at 11.45 then up again at 4 and 7 although this was a much better night than the last couple!

I'm assuming it's because we're not at home and it's thrown him out of routine slightly. Each night he's screamed his way through dinner here which isn't like him, usually he'll sit and play happily in his little chair but no dice.

Awful night here too. That's all I will say on the matter.

She's asleep now after dp walked around with her for an hour. I'm now wide awake! Sod's law

We were up from 1 till 4 and then back up at 5.50 when she was wide awake. Got a couple more hours this morning by bringing her into bed but its never enough.

Down at 10:00 and feed at 01:30 then another at 05:00 back awake around 07:45 for feed and morning get up and walk around etc. Just had a big crying fit and put her back into crib where she instantly fell asleep. So better than 2 hrly but I am still shattered.

chickie good to be back amongst some friendly voices.

My biggest challenge at moment is my DH who is driving me nuts. Starting to understand why divorce rate is so high when you have kids. His constant criticism and instruction is wearing me down. Just bought a second monitor (first one was audio only - he wanted video, which was fair enough) got the iping baby but he doesn't like that one cos he wants a monitor on the table. Ironic given that he is glued to iPad/laptop/phone most of the time. He leaves all these things up to me then complains. He constantly points out things that need doing and moans about everything i have done. Am feeling really undermined.

Anyone else struggling with the change in their relationship?

flyer and purple sorry to hear you had such awful nights - hope tonight is better. Recently I have found myself eating large quantities of chocolate to cope with the stress! Doesn't help but tastes good for a few moments!

You need it all oddlife by the sounds of things.

A baby defo puts stress on a relationship. Dp and I have had some right cracking rows, however we did pre baby so not sure if we count as a couple stressed through parenthood.
We just both like the last word.

I think that's very unfair of your dh oddlife have you spoken to him about how he is making you feel? You are a new mum and it's a very tough and challenging time.

Oddlife would you like to join the Facebook group? There's lots of chat on there and advice offered from the experienced mums and pics of our babies etc. No pressure it's just a good way of getting help and support if you need it. It's private too so none of your friends would see what you post etc etc

Flyer thanks for your post. Actually we are a bit similar in that pre baby we also disagreed and both like to have last words....

• I am just conscious of being a role model now as a woman, mother and a wife and it seems more important to me that our relationship somewhat reflects better values than it does at the moment.

I am on the FB group but as I have only just started posting again not sure what should be posted here or there if YSWIM?

Oh good sorry oddlife I didn't realise you were on the fb page. I think post anything on there whether it be about relationships, babies, sleep deprivation etc, I'm sure you're well aware that I post lots ( mostly moaning )

I totally agree about wanting to be a good role model for your daughter. I certainly want A to make better relationship choices than I have do in my life and be a bit more savvy when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex .

But it's great that we can have a safe place to moan isn't it? Sometimes we just need to verbalise it get it out of our system and carry on.

Oh god def more savvy than me I hope when it comes to men!

Hang in there flyer and odd life it gets easier I promise.

DH and I are both the kind of people who avoid confrontation and arguing, it's just too draining. By time DD arrived our friends had never heard us argue, snap at each other or raise our voices. That all changed when she arrived we proved ourselves to be Normal human beings. It's hard for us to be mummy, wife and ourselves but you will find a way. And just when you do you will prob be going back to work and have to be a whole other person again.

Oddlife...we had some harsh words when dc1 was born...the strain is great on yhe relationship but if managed it will make you both stronger. Itsounds twee but it was true in our case.
Dh says thathe could run a course for men rolearn what not say and the importance of pulling their weight in re home and relationships. Mind you sometimes I want to killthe buggar!!! Today inside John Lewis as I was deciding whether or not to buy a yummy Mumm bag, dhsaid really loud " you can use a tesco bag" ...:(...got told off of course!!

We had nephew stay over yesterday and is here again. He is a great little helper. Fetch this. Put this up stairs. Lol.
Nephew is in spare room so FH is in with me
Oh how I've missed his snoring

jelly and notsoold. It's good in a weird way that even those of you who don't normally argue have found yourself in disagreements. Makes me feel a bit more normal.

I think tiredness doesn't help as it makes me more prone to feel criticised and I do seem to have lost my sense of humour.... Apart from of course when laughing at S's antics.

Glad you won the yummy mum bag - I've realised that it's best to go shopping alone for some things!

GT I know how you feel as I sleep next to the crib on my right and my husband is snoring away on my left. Makes it hard for me to hear if S is breathing sometimes!

Hey guys, haven't posted for ages, life with 3 boys is a bit manic! Just wanted to ask you all if you experienced any problems with this rotavirus vaccine? Baby E has screamed the place down for days! He was 3 weeks late having it due to illness. His poor little tummy is causing my happy baby to scream all day and night!
Also for all the breastfeeders out there, how frequent are your babies feeding at night? E is not settling til about 10/11 then feeding around 1 and then 4 ish and is 11 weeks old now, hasn't changed much since he was born.
Hope you are all doing well and had a well deserved over Xmas!

kimbles - LO was cranky for a couple of days after jabs, we used the calpol that they prescribed and that seemed to help.

Re. breastfeeding, much the same here! We had 3 lovelyyy nights of 6.5hrs but he's regressed back to every 3/4.

Just doing last feed now before put down and hoping it's going to be a good night

Thanks for reply, not even calpol was helping him I'm pretty sure it's that rotavirus drop that caused it and I will not be letting him have the other one. I read up on it afterwards and it appears to be a common side effect as is a live vaccine. His little tummy was causing havoc. Will let him have normal jabs though. Was just wondering if anyone else experienced the manic screaming and what helped. I was expecting a bit of grumpiness and some calpol, not the pure hell that took over!

Thanks for bf advice. I thought it was about right but my eldest is a teenager so can't remember and toddler had reflux so sleep didn't happen!
Doesn't matter how many babies you have, always nice to have some reassurance. Thank you

Actually I decided for a Summer bag..can't do link as I am on phone but here goes...
m.boots.com/mt/www.boots.com/en/Summer-Infant-Izabel-Tote-Baby-Changing-Bag-Brown-Cream_1160376/

Quite happy with it!:)

Oddlife my sense of humour has completely left the building!!

Kimbles...J wasn't as bad but took about 4 days to be back to normal...and as combined feeding is every 3.5 hours ( more or less) during the night! :S

Kimbles - diahorea from the vaccine here. Hope he is better soon, ours was only a day or two.

Last few weeks our normal pattern is 1am and 4am feeds too. 10 weeks old.

For the last week Thomas has cried from 4am for 2-3 hours and is then happy and awake for the day. Was hoping was just being away from home but was the same last night back in our house. So draining :(

Kimbles.....I had to let my baby sleep on me after her jabs. She very rarely cries but on the day of her jabs and rotavirus, she screamed in pain every time I moved and wouldn't let me put her down. It was horrible. She was better the next day though so no where near as bad as your little one

not posted here in so long!! 2nd lot of jabs here today, H been a bit grumpy but not too bad. rotavirus makes him a bit miserable but not too bad. my niece had rotavirus last year and it was horrific!! 2 weeks of screaming and explosive poor culminating in a hospital stay the poor little thing!!!

my relationship with dp has definitely changed, I miss him as I feel like we never get time together. we also haven't had sex for about 4 months!! I have really struggled with my self confidence since having a lot of major surgery a few years ago then felt very un sexy when pg and since as well as being nervous after childbirth! I love dp so much but don't really want sex and I'm worried its going to really start affecting us!!

notsoold your bag looks great practical and stylish.

Kimbles hope baby E feeling better now after vacs. My 12.5 wk baby switches between 3/4 hrly and 2hrly feeding and today every nap has lasted about 10 mins maximum. Think she must run on Duracell batteries.

roofio oh god I def know what you mean about that! I think that is part of the problem for us too - prob why we are a bit ra ra with each other!

Roofio...my dh is resigned by now to lack of sex after birth. I am so sorry for him but right now my focus is on J. But talking about might help. At least they know that is not for another reason.

Dh had a day off going around Manchester and cinema with DS. They just arrived home now! It was a day of lazying around for the dog and J and me just chilled.

Are you organizing anything for new year??? We got somee champagne but that is all. Ds wants a sit down meal but the thought of eating at midnight is not appealing... What are your plans?

Thanks so much everyone.
Baby E is doing much better now and back to his normal kicking with excitement self! Yay!
Roofio, we are the same as far as sex it has been about 4 months and was about 6 months with our last son. It all comes back eventually. I get self conscious as I put on lots of weight in pregnancy (6 stone this time) so I don't feel like it and won't initiate and he doesn't want me to feel pressure so won't initiate it. Add to that the exhaustion you both feel and it isn't surprising.