April 2012 - Feeding, Facebook and finally summer!!

[Flisspaps]

Apologies for the rubbish thread title - thought I'd cobble something together though!

Hayley you are not alone with the frequent night feeds, loads of us on here are going through it too. Hold tight, they will get less often. Breast milk to quickly digested so they come back for more sooner.

I often think at these postnatal groups that those with babies that don't sleep for endless hours at a time just keep quiet so you don't know about them. When I've talked one on one to other mums they have been more likely to say that their baby is not the sleeping angel that others have.

My boy seems to wake more due to the tummy grumbles rather than specifically to feed. He's mega colicky. I am giving up dairy & giving him probiotic drops in the hope that will help him and me only been a few days, not sure if it's making any difference yet. He did however, go in the p&t pushchair with his older b for the scoop run 2 days in a row. Previously he cried so much in their I had always to put him in the sling. It was a relief to have a bit of time not carrying him. My back is killing me.

I have a family wedding today. Should be testing. Dp is leaving early as he's doing the photos. That means I've got to make 3 dcs & myself presentable & get there by 12. I have blagged my mum to come over for an hour to hold dc3 since he will still only sleep being held. It will be ok once we get there I'm sure, my only trouble will be getting baby back off kindly ahem relatives to feed him. Then when I do they keep asking is he still feeding? Wonder what marvellous bf related slating the du will come out with this time. Can't wait, can you tell?

Thanks Buns, it does feel like I have the only baby in the world that won't sleep! There's one other lady in my group who's going through the same and her baby was also early - 8 weeks. She's just started bottle feeding instead of breast as she couldn't take anymore - she said so far he's waking up the same amount but her husband can help during the nights now.
I think if my DP was home I wouldn't feel so rough, sometimes I just could do with passing Noah to someone even for 10 minutes.
On a brighter note I'm lucky that Noah has the loveliest nature he's not a cryer even when he's suffering with wind he just moans. He's really calm & content so when I am up every 10 minutes I'm not getting irritable with him as he just smiles & gurgles away think I'd go insane if he didn't sleep & cryed a lot!

Good luck for today - gosh ur going to have your hands full? were u up at 5 to start getting ready lol.
Hope you have a lovely day.

Hayley - so sorry to hear you're still having a tough time. It will get better as he gets bigger though. You definitely aren't alone, I agree with buns in that I bet mums who are getting less sleep at post natal groups tend to keep quiet, or atleast only mention the good nights they've had rather than the bad ones! DS still stays completely awake between 11pm and 4am most of the time. It's torture!

DS weighed in at 13.3lb at six weeks old yesterday. He is a very long baby (was born at 24.5 inches!) and the baby clothes seem to get too small in the leg first... I'm tempted to snip the feet off some of the sleep suits I like most to get some extra mileage out of them .

Ooh, I forgot to say, good luck with the family wedding this weekend Buns!! I hope the weather (by some miracle) stays dry.

hayley my first baby was the worst sleeper. Woke several times a night. Would only co-sleep for the first two months and took ages to settle after each feed. He was 3 weeks early and this possibly had something to do with it. It's so so tough, especially when everyone else's babies seem to be sleeping through. In some babies it gets better, in others you just lower your expectations as to what a good night's sleep is for you. But you are not alone and you're not doing anything wrong. It's just luck of the draw.

buns good luck at the wedding.

Just managed to register DD to our GP last week so hoping to get an appointment for the jabs and the 8 w check up for next week . Also hoping to make it to the baby clinic now that I've found out I can go there( don't have the red book either hope they give it to me) . Have no idea really what DD weights other from DH going on the scales with her and it looks like she's slimmed down to 50-75% from her monster birthweight Of over 90%( this was looking at a boys book so is that different for girls as far as the curves go?) . We've always been giving her formula ( since I couldn't BF due to my medication or the surrogacy really but you can induce BF in theory...) according to the instructions but she seemes to have not followed her curve anyhow. She's not a great guzzler after the initial frantic eating and seemes to have her limit where she stoppes . Still often not having her 5 oz , she is not interested after 4 oz no matter how long we try . I wonder if they 'll give me trouble about it at the baby clinic ! She is perfectly healthy looking and well and progressing in her development at what seemes at a warp speed ( has been trying to crawl since a few weeks old , if u give her something to push against she actually goes forward even moves her arms forward one by one , DS did this maybe at 4-5m and then fully crawled at 6 m) . My DM just told me I stood up at 6 m ! DS stood up and cruised at 7 m. I wonder if I'll have an early mover in my hands ?! I hope she won't walk at 9m like my friends baby since it makes life much harder;) ... She 's comfortably in 0-3 m clothes otherwise but length of some babygros is getting too short . I guess she's still tall for her age like at birth ( was at the over 90% again according to the boys book so might be different - god I want my red book so can mark things down!!!) but has slimmed down .Her face ( still round but not like earlier lol) and her body are looking more lean but still a bit pudgy like DS who was average at this point . Anyhow we'll find out hopefully next week .
The night time waking didn't oddly happen last night and she went from 11-8 am or so which is the record ! I even changed her nappy at 3 am when I thought it might leak if I left it and she just went straight back to sleep. She was quite miserable and didn't really sleep all evening so I guess that's why she was extra sleepy.

^newmummyvicky babies can't be deliberately controlling. If you go out of sight, they have no concept of you still existing so they just think you've vanished and are gone forever. If they cry when you leave the room its because they genuinely* fear they've been abandoned.

At 6mo babies develop object permanence, which means they understand something can exist out of their sight and it is mind blowing to them. It's why they don't 'get' games of peekaboo before about 6mo too.

UniYes, but on the old thread there should be a link. Somewhere!

Hello everyone on the new thread!

Very interesting reading about all your babies sizes and clothes...DD was 9lb 7 at 6 weeks and is starting to fit 0-3 clothes quite nicely, but already aware she is going to outgrow some of the clothes we've been given before she even wears them (especially the sundresses if we don't get a summer!!)

I am going to sort through the clothes and make sure the unworn stuff goes to the top of the pile & gets used!

I haven't noticed DD sleeping more on one side than the other, when she's in the basket she is generally wriggling around in all directions, so I don't think she's getting a flat patch yet.

Marshmallow - my sil layers her baby girls summer dresses with tights and cardigans to get wear out of them which I thought was quite a good idea. Aaron has some lovely short dungarees and rompers he has only worn once because of the sodding weather!

People keep asking me 2 things. Is Aaron in a routine and have you put him in his own room yet. No and no to both and no intention yet either. I am normal aren't i?

kat We have a routine, but as this is DD2, we have to - DD1 is 7 and needs to get to school etc.

Baby will not be in own room for a long while yet - but 2 of my NCT group have already done it because they said their babies were too noisy. .....

DD is in a sort of routine. She set it really. Between 6-7 (depending on last feed) I bath and massage her. Then feed her our bedroom (dimly lit) then put her down. Sometimes she's out like a light and others she's fussy and chats to herself for a while.

I wouldn't put her on her own room yet, I think she's a bit young..

Never understood that 'too noisy' reason - I always have a mini freak out when F sleeps too peacefully and have to check he's still breathing.
I'm hoping that he'll buck the trend set by our ds1 and learn to sleep through at some point (or at least drops the night feeds) which is when he'll go in with his big brother.

Currently doing the last feed before bed now and have a badly timed Chinese takeaway sat waiting for me downstairs.

Kat , DD is going to be in our room until she's too big for her Moses basket and then in her cot in her own room which is right next to our's since we can't really fit a crib in our bedroom. It is generally recommended to keep a baby in the same room with you until 6 m to prevent cot death but I can see it would be tempting to move them earlier because of the disturbed sleep . Ofcourse have thought of it when desperately tired specially since the room Is just the other side of the landing but I know I'd feel quilty and I want to keep her near... Last time with DS we didn't have a nursery for him in our 2 bed because of my husband's study so he was in our room in his cot for 18 m (which was toooooo long ) until we moved .Then he went to his own room with no problems eventhough I though he would have been used to us in the same room.
Routine wise with my first child there was always a pattern because I was formula feeding so regular intervals and had a bedtime routine from the get go etc but it was very much just playing it by the ear daily since I had no other obligations and he was my sole focus plus had no experience. This time like Jambalaya I have a 7 y DS wo has school and busy extra curricular and social life that I have to ferry around ( although have had help until now and spent first 5 + w in the States together with no work or school so just now getting to the swing of things before the summer break) . Plan is to have the set times for feeding in the day ( exept when she needs it more often like ATM 3 hourly feeds not 4 h) so can do the school run but the irregularity of the nighttime sleep lengt is ofcourse an issue because that then effects the feeding times depending when she's woken up in the morning . In theory it's going to have to be about 6am , 10am, 2 pm and so on if I don't want her screaming in the bus for food ... Well I'll luckily only have 2 w of that on my own and then it's the summer holidays and a few months to get into a schedule before DS starting a new school. Can't believe by the DD will be so much older , 4m!
I guess it's best to do what ever suits your family and not worry about other's opinions but it's hard not to compare I found specially with the first baby . I remember doing that in my mind with the other ladies in the postnatal group and the coffee mornings but it's definitely not at all like it with the second child when you tend to just get on with it and take it in your stride !
Somebody said about feeling sadness about not having BF work out ... It didn't for me with DS and felt like a failure with my EMCS and then BF going to hell . Felt odd guilt and incompetence for years . Now with our unusual way of DD arriving into the world I've thought of it and definitely felt pangs of jealousy ( also sadness about not being able to carry the pregnancy ) but am getting past it and appreciating what I have so much . I still can't believe I finally have my gorgeous baby :)!!!
I think somebody also earlier asked about my DMIL cancer surgery ... She's having it in a week or so . We'll have to wait and see , it's going to be a 9h operation so not a simple thing . I worry about DH who seems ok and just keeps on going with the baby, DS , work ( possibly looking at moving who knows ) etc and now my parents here. He is a strong person but ofcourse hasn't been through anything like this before... Life is hard and unfair so better treasure all the happy moments and appreciate any boredom , at least then there's not some horrible disaster going on... God I feel old !why am I sounding like some old lady ;)...

Marshmallow , I'm also layering dresses and skirts with leggings and cardigans ( got tights too but haven' tused them since hate wearing them myself and think they're less comfy than soft cotton leggins )to get maximum wear out of them and since DD unlike DS doesn't bring anything up she's also just wearing what I call her nice clothes at home before they're too small . Might as well since there might not be another baby ...

Thanks for the advice on layering- we have leggings & cardies but all still a bit big. One pair of baggy trousers we call her MC Hammer pants as they look just like the ones he used to wear. They were huge on her but fit now- my little girl is growing so fast!

Oh yes forgot . Does someone know if I can put a photo up on the closed group page only that won't show on my normal FB page since haven't put any up there?

I know the feeling of them growing quickly . Some of the nice babygros might never really get used since they were too hot in Texas ( and didn't realise to use them inside when not going out unlike now...) . Have started getting 3-6 m now from the sales since I don't have nearly as much of those as the giant 0-3 m pile.

Nordic it ought to be possible to upload a photo to that group only - I uploaded a picture straight to the group and I don't think anyone else can see it, but perhaps someone more techy can confirm?

Will be thinking positive thoughts for your DMiL & hope DH and the rest of your family keep well.

Arsing app lost my reply

Nordic is right about the advice being 6mo for baby to stay in with you for naps and sleep - they regulate their breathing via hearing yours, and your noise and movements mean they don't fall in to such a deep sleep that they 'forget' to breathe. Even though the little buggers keep you awake with their grunting and farting wriggling it's a good sign that they've not fallen into a very deep sleep.

I really want to keep DD in with us for 6 months, she is v quiet at night so no trouble at all, but there won't be room for a cot in the room once she's outgrown the basket. My secret plan is to find a bigger Moses basket...if I can get DH to agree...

I really sounded like a first timer with that post. Having pnd this time with my anxieties has made me not trust my judgment (although my hv says I should as I clearly did a good job raising ds1).

I couldn't even contemplate having Aaron in his room and will be moving his cot into our room when he's outgrown his Moses basket. Dh not impressed with that plan but its tough. Ds1 on the other hand was in his own room at 10 weeks. Makes me sound like I care less for ds1 but its not that, I'm genuinely terrified of something happening to Aaron I can't even let someone have him for us to go for a meal or have a break. Its me or dh and that's it for now (crazy I know).

It was also me who said about bf. Thing is I couldn't with ds1 either and I felt awful then. I vowed I would ebf this time for 6 months - silly really as I generated my own guilt.

Kat , I really hope you'll feel much better soon . I have experience with general depression but not pnd. Also have some some anxiety issues sometimes but have managed both my whole life without outside help. Anyway can kind of sympathise. Makes everyday life's much more complicated and harder... I hope you can start feeling a bit more relaxed about someone helping you with your baby as time goes by so you can have a rest and some time alone with your partner and your older son too . I have been oddly relaxed with DD this time . I don't generally worry about everything like last time. I don't even let myself go there . Also being unwell at times I have a limit in what I can do so I just get too tired and sick . I take all the help I can get with her. My parents have been with us for a week and they've been feeding, changing and generally looking after DD and yesterday was actually the first time I left her with anyone but DH while I went to see DS revue with my DF . I didn't think about her constantly but it did feel a bit odd ...

Kat, just do what you have to do: I'm sure DH will come to terms with it: and I can totally understand you wanting to keep the little one with you.

So, I am an emotional wreck this morning. DS is 2 months old today & last night I finally felt ready for sex. It didn't go well. In fact it bloody hurt & we had to stop. It wasn't dryness (we'd taken steps to make sure) but I had really bad stinging. It felt like a sore stitch. I only had 2 little stitches after my ventouse and they've healed (and DH had another check last night) so I don't understand. Painful scar tissue maybe?

I also had a problem late on in pregnancy - when I was fullterm & preeclamptic - with panic attacks & tension during gynae exams, so I'm wondering if that exacerbated it.

What a thoroughly rubbish start to Father's Day. I feel totally crap and useless.

Henrietta You're not crap or useless. It could be tension or sore scar tissue. Give yourself more time, try again in the future and if it persists see your GP.

kat it's normal to want your baby with you all the time, so don't worry. If you were BF then DS would have to be nearby but just because you can leave DS because he's FF doesn't mean you should. Doing things a different way second time round doesn't mean anyone will think you love one child more than the other either. Do what you want to do, and be kind to yourself.