Feb 2011 - First year over! Whatya mean it gets more difficult!

[wigglesrock]

Handing out , and birthday cake

Hello all,

Quick one as it's lunchtime so I have five minutes before i get my pasta bake out of the oven - I've been doing Slimming World since the start of Jan and have lost 13lb so far...been on a bizarre self sabotage this week which I can only put down to be so close to the magical stone marker!

Anyhooooo...

Reastie Hope the inspection went well. I'm giggling at your odd pronunciations - I say Unyun (onion) and Reseepee (Recipe). I am from The North though :)

MizK Hope The Maccabees were fab, I saw them a couple of years ago at a festival and enjoyed. I'm off to Florence+The Machine next week, v excited to be off to a gig even if it is at the NEC. The Horrors are supporting so looking forward to that as theyre supposed to be good live. We're sitting down like Grandma's though.

wiggles There's a lady at work called Sofia and so many people try and pronounce her name SoFeyeA. V odd in my opinion. I love the name though but only with an F.

ponyo Poor A. Sounds like a day for cuddles on the sofa while you watch crap TV!

American Thanks for the Cake link...now I can only think of cake. I might order one for some friend's though - they had twins this week, crazy!

Tad I work with a lot of American's as our head office is in Chicago. I do have to laugh at some of their name pronunciations. And one guy in my team keeps saying VeeHeeCull for vehicle. Drives me insane!

Robin Watch out. Dinner ladies were Dinner Bags at my school. Apart from MrsRicksMum who was the mum of the boy we all fancied in Year 7.

ledkr You could hire the camper van out when you're not using it - I'd be a customer!

Ok, pasta bake smells good and I have work to do and I need to try on some new super skinny jeans I just bough from Topshop A big hello to all those I've missed....

choco - I entered the Teapigs competition on their website and they sent me an email to get a free 7" cake for myself if I give one as a gift. Can send you the link if you're interested or you can enter yourself. Not sure about P&P for the extra cake though.

OMG, those cakes!

Um.. What was I going to say? Erm...

Oh yes. Back from Dinner ladying. Was OK, not my dream job but it was only an hour and it went quite quickly. DD1 was a bit upset that I wasn't with her but it was probably for the best as she would have wanted to stay with me.

Thanks for inspection well wishes. Just got back and no one ever inspected me . I try to tell myself it's as they have no concerns about me to make me feel better but feel a bit as the lessons I did today were actually quite good so it would have been good if they had come. All those days of work and not a sausage of it was needed [sigh]

Where is deb btw - has she left us for a marathon runners thread or something?

american nice cake link but must stop myself as I know given half an hour i could make on like that for 1/4 of the cost and I'm trying to cut down on my food shopping if you remember

choc well done on the weight loss - that's great going

ponyo hope A is OK this afternoon - is it a jabs reaction?

Ladies re: DH getting really angry last night and slamming doors and saying to alice he'll hit her in a v aggressive way because she isn't sleeping - should I just ignore it and not mention it again and put it down to lack of sleep or should I mention it to him? I do sometimes get a bit worried as he can come across to me as really aggressive when he becomes bad mooded but I think it's just the way he gets his emotions out, a bit like how I just cry alot. I know he didn't really mean it and wouldn't have done anything and I've thought bad things when I'm really really tired too, just not said them. I don't really know what to do. I don't want to make him cross as I'll just get moaned at or accused of nagging so I'm not sure if there's a point or not as I'm sure he knows that wasn't good. What I really want to know is would it be bad if I just didn't mention it again or should we chat about it?

X posted robin glad dinnerladying went well. Did you have to stop any fights or confiscate any contraband sticker collections or anything exciting?

reastie Thats a bit naughty of dh.Ther only thing i would say is that im very vocal when tired and frustrated and do stomp about making all sorts of threats Dh doesnt and has said to me before in a nice way when im calmer."i dont like it when you are like that it worries me" that usually puts me to shame.Its weird cos it sounds worse coming from a bloke though doesnt it?

We are having the day from hell too.Dilly also woke at 5.45 snd moaned and groaned her way through the day.We took ages to get out and then she cried her way around all our errands finally we parked in a carpark to drop off some charity bags and dh managed to scrape our car all down one side I have an awfull migraine on the way and she is still bloody whinging. Its our anniversary (day we met) today and we would normally have a weekend away and instead we are stuck in with a whinging baby and ruined car. I am calming down but had those feelings of horribl;e regret and a longing for my previous life. Please tell me you get that sometimes too.

Im wondering if i am still depressed tbh,i seem to have a lot of low days still but they are often followed by a migraine,i wonder if thats part of it starting or whetehr me getting stressed causes the migriane to start. My have to ave a google.I was also really clumsy and dropping things all morning.

Sorry to moan.

oh ledkr what a rubbishy day . FWIW I get pangs of how my life used to be - how I could just go out when I wanted, go to the gym, not have to put myself last and carry a weeks worth of stuff everywhere with me and plan everything I do in such detail. I was thinking about how different everything is now, and watching romcoms with couples who actually had time to enjoy each others company and have lots of sex . So I do entirely understand where you're coming from, and it must be harder for you having been through this before and being so old . I seem to get alot of alice being 'an utter delight' to everyone else but a complete moanbag for me all the time - I swear it's like I have a different child to the one my mum/MIL/DH looks after. Things are always a million times harder when there in non stop moaning involved but try to cling on to those days where Dilly is great fun and a giggle to be with. I hope you feel brighter at the week end - can you and DH maybe get a take away and zombie dvd or something to mini celebrate your anniversary? How is the pmt btw? You were struggling with that before and moods etc I seem to remember pre prozac. The migraines arn't hormone related are they?

Thanks reatsie no im not even near hormonal but they do seem to come after my af so maybe there is a link.
I dont feel like a take away and zombie vid cos i hate him right now
He has taken dilly for a walk now i could hear her screaming as they went off. I do worry about Dills whinging,i seem to recall Ella was no different. I am considering working ft to get away from it actually is that terrible.
I still feel so crap actually.I seem to spend vast amounts of time just sat about as i cant get on with anything due to her whineing or sticking her nose in,i then get frustrated at my messy house and lack of productivity.
I should be happy cos we have a nice life but i just feel so miserable all the time.
Today i realised that i soooo understand why those people just go missing forever when just went off to buy a pint of milk,they felt like i do haha.
As for dtd,i cant even remember what that was and neither of us seem that bothered about it,maybe ill pull a rich Irishman on Friday and go and live near wiggles.

"Thanks reatsie no im not even near hormonal but they do seem to come after my af so maybe there is a link.
I dont feel like a take away and zombie vid cos i hate him right now
He has taken dilly for a walk now i could hear her screaming as they went off. I do worry about Dills whinging,i seem to recall Ella was no different. I am considering working ft to get away from it actually is that terrible.
I still feel so crap actually.I seem to spend vast amounts of time just sat about as i cant get on with anything due to her whineing or sticking her nose in,i then get frustrated at my messy house and lack of productivity.
I should be happy cos we have a nice life but i just feel so miserable all the time.
Today i realised that i soooo understand why those people just go missing forever when just went off to buy a pint of milk,they felt like i do haha."

Ledkr, I could have written that myself! I'm sorry that you've had a shit day.

Your Dilly sound similar to Lottie at times. She can whinge, oh boy can she whinge. I often end up putting her to bed because I've had enough and she's crap at night times and I feel like tearing my hair out! I'm feeling ok ATM because we've had a few good nights (apart from last night) but there have been times when I would have gladly thrown her out of the window!

I feel guilty now because she's dancing, clapping and laughing to Zingzillas (bloody hate that program) and is being lovely and cute!

I shouldn't moan because I SAH when some people would give their right arm to (but by god, it's not great for the old brain), I have a lovely DH, who works so hard, two beautiful beautiful DDs.

I just often feel that we (DH and I) don't get many treats. We hardly ever go out by ourselves and haven't had so much as a weekend away for about seven years. We went away for a couple of nights when we got married but that's it and DD1 was with us apart from our Wedding night.

I am insanely jealous of our next door neighbours. They don't have children and she's a teacher. They seem to be forever on weekends away and I just imagine her, at half term, sitting in her spotless living room with a book and a cup of tea and it being lovely and quiet!

Sorry my support post to Ledkr turned a bit me me me

Oh god me too ledkr and reastie it seems A needs my attention constantly at home too, I can't tidy, cook, anything without her whining at me. Sometimes she'll play on her own but if I leave the room she'll follow me and cry

Ledkr sorry about your crappy day. I deffo understand the thinking back to your old life and being able to do what you want whenever, however I don't think you should feel guilty. I do but that's cos I'm a first time parent, you've done it all already whereas I've had years of mucking about and being selfish I feel like I should make the most of every day with A especially as she was so wanted after ttc for ages but it's hard when she is whinging ALL THE TIME!

Reastie yep people always say how happy A is too although I took her to see a work friend at the sure start today and she just cried at her re your dh, can you/ have you told him how it sounds to you? It's a bit harsh but A cant understand can she, would he say it when she's older etc...

I've typed this on my phone holding A as she won't be put down. I took her swimming this afternoon and she cried so much other mums were asking if she was ok, embarrassing I blamed it on the jabs yesterday

Grr, the whole post wasn't supposed to be c&p just some of it! Sorry!

X post robin agree with what you said too I am jealous of any couple who can just have a night out when they fancy, however my best mate and her dp are ttc and I know she just wants to get pg and have her baby. Now I know why everyone says to go out for nice meals, cinema etc when you're pg, dp and I thought "oh we do that all the time" now I get it!

That's a thing Ponyo they may well be TTC for all I know and wish that they could be like us (although I doubt exactly like us what with me screaming like a banshee most days). She came round the other day to give L her birthday present and her eyes widened with shock at the state of our front room. There were toys everywhere!

Nobody comments on how happy Lottie is . If a stranger talks to her she'll glare at them or hide her face in my jumper!

Ah A is having a sleep, its late for a nap but I don't care!

at screaming like a banshee Robin there are always toys everywhere in my front room too. I think I'm used to it now and just don't notice the tat everyhwere. A is another one for just staring at people, they say how cute she is and try to get her smile and she hardly ever does. Unless its a random drunk like the other day

L needs a sleep, she's knackered and crying. She keeps shouting and having a tantrum! She's a monster, she's just this second bitten my toe while I was typing! that bloody hurt!

Hear hear, re everything ledkr, reastie, ponyo and robin said. I said to dh the other day that if this was a job, I would have left it. We also have a lovely life; dh works really hard (till midnight most nights) and we have a nice large American house with bathrooms coming out of every orifice, but I never have time to clean them as S is hanging off me all the time, or emptying my cupboards! The thing is, I miss my family terribly and no lovely house is going to compensate for that. However, I do have three healthy, bright and funny children, even if they are hard work at times and I am very grateful for that. And dh is quite fit too!

Did anyone listen to Goldie Hawn on Woman's Hour or read her webchat here? She thinks that taking time to write down 5 things you are grateful for every day can really help change your mindset. She's apparently seen that work with people who are so depressed they can't get out of bed. I think I am going to try that as I don't like the sound of my own head at the moment!

reastie well done on getting through the inspection. Your work was not wasted as the kids benefitted, didn't they? Like you say, they know you are top notch already!

Well jealous of all these cakes flying around! What is your favourite American cake, expat ? Do you have one that is not too sweet or smothered in frosting?

Tbh reastie I would be quite worried about what your dh said to Alice. I know I have felt like that a lot with my eldest recently and she does do things she knows will upset or annoy me on purpose; babies don't. Is he under the weather and just too knackered to deal with a tired baby? You don't want it to become a habit till she does understand what it means. Can you both get a break from her now the inspection is over? Hope you have a nice relaxing weekend.

Probably x-posted with loads of people now, sorry! Hope you all have really nice Friday evenings!

wow, sorry to hear you are all feeling rather down in the dumps. I obviously don't know how you feel and I one of those people you are jealous of (hopefuly not for long). Just remember ladies, it's not all bad, think of the good times you have and the even better times you will have in the future.

I visited my sis today, it went quite well but I did tell her how i thought of her lack of support. I actually feel very liberated . I am very happy for her and her dp, I am also looking forward to becoming an Auntie again (this will be number 6).

DH and I are going out tomorrow night for dinner, drinks and dancing - can't wait!

Hope you all had a nice night and a fab weekend.

blizy. Definitely not all bad. Glad you had it out with your sister. Hope you have a wonderful time with your dh tomorrow night and it is your night.

I'm glad you had it out with your sister, Blizy and I hope that she takes on board what you said about her lack of support!

Hope you have a great weekend with DH! Ignore us whingers .

Your house sounds fab Tad, like something out of a film! Do you have a proper porch with a porch swing?

This is why you lot are so great, we are all so honest with othet. I sometimes feel that dreadful need to escape the relentlessness of it all then one of the boys will do something sweet or funny and make it all go awy for a while!

Hope you are all ok. Noah's jabs were cancelled today as the nurse is I'll so we met a friend and her son at Soft play.

Ledkr, are you still on anti D's? You do sound quite down, do you think Dillys erly mornings and moodiness are bringing you down?

Blizy, enjoy your evening out. You both deserve it!

Reastie, I would talk to dh, approach it sensitively to. When Noah was much younger and waking loads on the night dh told me off for f ing at him. I did feel bad, but was feeling so crap at the time.

Tad, I'm a firm believer in thinking of the positive things in life. A bit hard sometimes but I find it definitely works!

Better go its bathtime and Noah is whinging.

tad I bet your house is just like Bree from Desperate Housewives .

blizy go you for having it out with sis. Btw - has she had 6 kids or you are an auntie to 6? Because even by four4's standards, 6 is alot , oh, and now you know to make the most of going to the cinema and going out to dinner

ledkr you sound really down at the min. Have you done that pnd questionnaire (is it the Edinburgh one) to see what you score? I think it's for general depression as well as pnd(???)

I don't know if I have the strength to bring up with DH his comments. When he's done things like that and I've tried to bring it up he's just got cross and said he knows it was wrong and then later has said he only got angry with me bringing it up as he knows I'm right. We are both shattered after a week of alice not sleeping half the night and me being under stress with inspection, just need a nice sleep filled week end

Ha Ha reastie no, she has one boy, my big sis has 3 girls and my sil has one boy.

Hope you get some ZZzzz this weekend.

reastie FWIW I think you should say something to DH. Just because I think tiptoeing around him is unfair to you. And I know personally that if I ever try to keep schtum about something thats bothering me, it will then be dragged out in an argument and seem way worse. I dont think he's a bad person for saying something angry when tired, we have all done it I think. But to say he is going to hit her even though he obviously didnt mean it bothered you, so I think you should tell him. Hope Alice sleeps tonight :)
tad I bet it is v hard to be so far away, my aunt came back recently from her lovely life in New Zealand cause she found life with children away from our family too hard. You seem to be doing so well tho, I do feel jel of your big lovely house, skiing etc!
ledkr you poor girl, sounds like things are on top of you atm. Don't feel guilty about pre baby reminiscing, seems like the whole thread does that. I have basically been a mum for my whole adult life and was kind of looking forward to being more selfish in my 30s cause my DCs were getting more independent, so at times I feel like I was crazy to have another baby and start over. But I know if given the choice I wouldnt change anything, and I'm sure you're the same. Hope you and DH make it up and manage to enjoy the evening x this too shall pass :)
blizy have a lovely weekend with DH, sounds super fun. I'm glad you cleared the air with your sis :)
choco your post made me laugh, witty lady arentcha! Miss your posts now youre a busy Working Lady type, Florence will be fab!
ponyo hugs to A, I think those jabs knock them for six, its a lot in one go for their little bodies.
Big hello to anyone I missed as per. Skiving off bedtime tonight, let DP do it. He's not in my good books atm. I asked him to not go to watch Liverpool on Mothers Day and he agreed. Then when we were having a nice time last night, he seized the chance to ask if he could go if he took Joe along. It properly upset me that he doesnt want to do anything nice for me on Mothers Day, and it kind of spoiled the evening. Bear in mind he's going tomorrow and Tuesday so its not like I forbid him to go. Makes me feel quite sad :(

reastie No, but the neighbourhood is a bit Wisteria Lane.

Hope you do get a good night's sleep. Broken sleep is the worst really.

x-posts MizK, sorry. We are definitely very lucky to be here but I do feel like your aunt, so I want to put a cap on it and then really make the most of it, you know? If there is a deadline, then I am sure we will use the time more effectively to see stuff like the Grand Canyon etc. Sorry about your Mother's Day plans. Can you plan to do something fab for yourself on Father's Day? Reminds me, must get A & E to make cards for gps as it's in May here so nothing in the shops.