Feb 2011 - First year over! Whatya mean it gets more difficult!

[wigglesrock]

Handing out , and birthday cake

Tarlia's last post just about set me off there. Lovely words.xxx

Thanks for the offer 44! That's really kind. My dps live in Lincoln and dh and I met in Nottingham so we might well pop on a train and visit and my Dad has a John Lewis discount , if Ponyo and MizK are about!

Sorry about crappy dhs. Mine gets on my nerves with his constant working too, but then I remember how appalling my first marriage was and thank my lucky stars I'm not with him any more! Iirc it gets easier when they sleep better, that's what I'm hoping, anyway!

Sending you all sleepy vibes.

Blizy, you and dh are indeed an inspiration to us all. Tarlia says it all with her beautiful message.

Ledkr, Ponyo, K2, here here to the annoying dh's. We finally dtd at Xmas, the first time since Noah was born, then again last week. Thats only twice in a year! I just can't be intimate with someone who annoys me so much!

Reastie,Noah has one nap a day now usually for about two hours after lunch. I wake him from his nap most days. He's usually a bit grumpy but recovers quickly if I offer him a snack! Hes back to waking between 5 and 5.30am but tends to go back to sleep after chatting or moaning for 20 minutes.

Delia and Wiggles, boo to sicky babies!

I want to post more but my bed is calling so will catch up tomorrow x

delia I was also just wondering where you'd been! Glad all is well with you and C.

ledkr she will be out of this hellish puke/bottle/non sleeping phase before you know it and she'll be cuddling you and telling you she loves you soon.

ponyo I used to feel a bit hard done by but I'm happy to get up now, I love getting the girls up in the morning. Besides. I can get on with my Strict Cleaning Routine earlier .

I agree with all those finding relationships with DH/Ps tricky atm, it is a massive shock and change and adjustment but just keep going and you will come out the other side. Our relationship is different from how it was, and from how I hoped/expected it would be, but it's ok. The way I see it, this is a short period in our lives, the girls will be older soon enough, plenty of time for shagging and sweet lurving then

I've been so good this evening, desperate for some evening munchies but I have Withstood. Off to bed soon before I get hungry

uh fecking oh! Me and dh have just had first proper shouty row ever

We asked his folks to babysit ages ago and they said yes.At the weekend ds and dil said they will stay here and do it.Lots of perks to this they know the house,heating system where everything is etc. emergency numbers and couldnt give flying if theres no food and the place is a mess. I told dh to tell his folks at the weekend that we didnt need them and explained id had aconvo with his mum last week in which i said dil may do it and she said fine just let us know.
Tonight he rings them and as usual they ignore what we want and say they still want to do it. Dh is working till 5 Sat so we have to be in brum for 7.30 ready to go out. I have 2 kids plus a theatre run and try to get ready.
If pil come i will have to spend ages cleaning,get some food,in change bedding,show them where everything is and leave instructions re Dils routine.
All on top of what i have to do as well. We had amassive row and i ended up shouting "You cannot say no to them,they trample on our wishes for our wedding our birth and now you still cant say no!" I chucked my dinner in the bin and had a fag to annoy him. Hes gone to bed now.

Is it me?? Men just dont get how much work it is when you have guests even babysitting ones,its just easier if its ds and dil. They also know dills really well which pil dont.

Im gratefull they were going to do it but its a weeks notice and they are down at easter too.

The other thing is that we are gong to get back Sunday lunchtime to have them sat here until late at night when ill just want to chill and get ready for school and work. Grrrrrr

ledkr really feel for you (and knitta ). Remember a couple of weeks ago I really shouted at DH and we had a massive row? We've never had that before and it was a bit of a - I was actually shaking afterwards. I'm glad (in the nicest way possible) quite a few of us have DH issues - babies really do change things don't they? If it's any help I think YANBU at all - I completely understand where you are coming from and I would be the same and DH would be the same as your DH (only not for not being able to say no to MIL but because we always have arguments about what she can and can't do). How are things this morning? Hope Dilly at least managed to give you a semi lie in.

blizy I would love to see piccies if you manage it. ledkr is right - I remember when you were upset with how your dh was dealing with things and now look at the 2 of you together. x

deb is tonight the weigh in? Good luck (not that you'll need it )

I was watching superscrimpers last night and they said the average weekly family food budget was 50 something squid - I spend over double that on average - IMO that sounds really low for a whole weeks food for a family. Just wondered what everyone else spent and maybe I'm just a rubbish budgeter . I find it really hard to menu plan tbh as I never know when DH is coming home from work to help with Alice and it's pretty much impossible to cook when she's awake < to deb > plus I have to buy more expensive gluten free stuff for me I guess and quite a few veg I can't eat due to IBS so I have to be picky with which veg we get which might hike the price. I'm thinking I may try a week for £50 next week and see if we can do it

blizy Happy birthday Zoe xx

reastie I can do all our food shopping for about £50 a week, might jump up if I have lots of washing powder, cleaning stuff etc but roughly I would say £50.

Cripes wiggles £50

Happy birthday to Zoe. We're all holding your hand today, blizy.

reastie - We spend probably £60 a week on shopping, one big shop at the weekend then once or twice during the week for milk and fruit.

Emski - you've made me feel loads better. We've DTD three times since L was born. DH never initiates it and I can't be bothered. I was really keen in the 3rd trimester but he wasn't interested, I think I'm being a bit spiteful about it now.

k2tog - L isn't breastfed anymore but when he was, I used cow's milk in his food and in a beaker during meals. I don't think you need to give him cow's milk, it was just a matter of convenience for us.

wiggles - cottage cheese factory!

reastie - if you find it difficult to cook during the week, can you cook and freeze at the weekend while DH is watching Alice?

I'm so sorry blizy I didn't say earlier, but Happy Birthday to Zoe, will make sure I'm wearing something pink today in memory. xx

american I do batch cook at week ends - I usually end out spending half a week end day cooking things, usually a big veggie bolognese thing which I serve with potatoes one day, pasta the next and rice on another day. I just can't work out how it's so much then, clearly I'm doing something wrong. Must menu plan the slow cooker next week and see how cheap we can do it. Eating lots of fruit and veg can be expensive though - when I've been on sw diet it has cost an absolute fortune - deb and ledkr do you find this? Actually, I think part of it may be as I get pretty much everything online so I never know how long the fruit and veg is going to last or what quality it is which doesn't help with planning through the week. wiggles don't you have alot of prepared foods too? I always thought that was more pricey than cooking from scratch

Morning ladies,

reastie re weekly shopping bill. We also cook mostly from scratch, and our shopping bill had been creeping up and up until it seemed to be over £150 most weeks and it was p!ssing me off, so then when I discovered I was being made redundant we decided to put our foot down and get what we could from Aldi and our bills have since been no more than £70. It's quite astounding what a difference it makes just really keeping an eye on it. We also spend about £20 a week at the butchers as we get all our meat there.

D

reastie I am also at wiggles only spending £50 a week concludes it's because everything is half the price in Ireland . I spend about £80 a week, that's everything, including washing powder, nappies etc (although they only wear disposables at night). I do cook for my parents every night though, so it's 4 adults and 2 kids every night. However I do shop at Sainsburys and could almost certainly get it much cheaper at Lidl/Aldi but they all know me in Sainsburys, it's like a second home [sad bird emoticon]. I need to start cutting down as well, we've just lost £40 a week in Tax Credits because DH and his sister's company has made a profit of £20,000 this year, yeah, sounds great except that money stays in the business, we don't see a penny of it, but have to pay tax on half of it (sil pays tax on the other half). Bloody frustrating. I'm going to start job hunting soon.

Ooo that turned into an essay/rant!

ledkr tricky situation, I'd say if pils were coming to let DH do the extra work, but I bet he wouldn't do it right (my DH certainly wouldn't). He needs to stand up to his parents. We're having slight il issues, remember they never ever visit, but then moan (behind our backs) that they don't see the girls enough? Well we Had Words about all this a while ago and sil and bil were going to come for Imy's birthday next month. But they just cancelled, said they can't come now, it's too expensive. WTAF? So now they will all be moaning that they haven't seen Imy if we WHO HAVE A LOT LESS £££ THAN THEY DO (see post above), don't go and visit. I've suggested to DH that we send them an invitation to Imogen's birthday party and if they don't come then it's their problem.

Re dtd, I think we've done it once since I had the implant fitted at the beginning of December, but it's done absolutely nothing for my libido, I am not interested in the slightest. Great contraception, hey. Having said that I do fancy DH a bit more now he's all clean

blizy happy birthday to our precious Zoe, what time was she born? I will light a candle for her. xxx

Happy Birthday Zoe xxx

Reastie we spend a fortune shopping too! It's ridiculous and I do find that healthy foods are more expensive - well particularly if you get your veg at the supermarket, it's not so bad if we go to the farm shop but I CBA to do two shops in two different places!

Sometimes DH will go on his own. When he arrives back he will proudly announce that he's only spent £40 but when I look there's nothing there! It will probably last us a couple of meals if he goes shopping.

I keep losing my temper with DH so sympathys to all of you with DH trouble! In my situation it's probably mostly me, I'm a stroppy cow but hey that's what sleep deprivation does to you!

I have a childless friend and when she talks about being tired and having a lie in on a Saturday I want to stab her with a fork! (although not really as she's so lovely but oh the )

*Sympathies(?) see - sleep deprived!

Not so good today, I'm trying so hard not to be sad but failing miserably. Debka- she was born at 4.50am, I woke up at 4.45 am this morning- how strange.
Thank you all for the thoughts and well wishes.

I'm not sure I'm going to get through the day. I really am struggling. To top it off my period arrived this morning too- life is so fucking cruel.

Sorry for the selfish rambling. I will catch up properly soon. Have a good day all.

(((((Blizy))))) Life is so fucking cruel! You will get through today. It will be hard but you will. I know you can because you are amazing. You and your DH have shown such courage and strength this last year. You're an inspiration. I'm sure Zoe is very proud of her mummy and daddy. X

blizy - you're entitled to be selfish today. You will get through today though and hopefully tomorrow is a bit brighter.

Hey just time for a quick note as in orthodontist with DD1. Just wanted to say to blizy life can be so horrid and am here for you x so sorry you are foing through this xxxxx
Hi to other ladies will post later.....

blizy Zoe dying was cruel and unfair and not your fault, there was nothing that you could have done. You kept her safe and loved for as long as you could and when she died you and dh were strong, loving and celebrated your love for her and her love for you in such a way that all of us were moved by it and we will never forget being a small part in your beautiful daughters life.

Just do what you and dh need to get through today - Zoes love will be with you and will help today - all our love xx

Oh Blizy, my darling. I don;t know what to say except that you will make it through today, as one of our ladies said, one step at a time. This was always going to be the hardest day, hold dh tight and think lovely thoughts of your beautiful Zoe watching you from Heaven.

Hi too everyone else. I don't want to post anything else as anything i say will not compare to how Blizy is feeling today. xx

I am thinking of you blizy lots of love on Zoe's birthday. The sun is shining here for her special day. Xxxx

blizy let yourself be sad, let yourself grieve, I can't imagine anything is worse in this life than losing a child.

Zoe- your Mummy and Daddy love you and will always love you, their precious, precious first born.

Happy birthday to Zoe today, have been thinking of you today and your parents.

Blizy sending you hugs, agree that life is so cruel am thinking of you and dh. Lots of love x x

*blizy8 Im at work but just a quicky to say thinking of you xxxx back later,nearly over darling.

Blizy I struggle to keep up with the thread now but I am lurking and thinking of you and DH today. You are so strong.