Feb 2011 - First year over! Whatya mean it gets more difficult!

[wigglesrock]

Handing out , and birthday cake

blizy today is almost over, hours are not longer I promise. You have every right to feel bad any day, so today you are entitled to grieve and grieve and grieve. It's another hard day without Zoe, but she is loved and remembered by so many, as are you too. Wish I was a bit closer to be able to give you a very unmnty hug.

blizy thinking of you today most of all, just had a little moment and lit a candle for Zoe in the church near work. It seems strange to say this to an internet friend, but sending lots of love to you today of all days.

Dx

Happy birthday to Zoe from Oregon. Will be thinking about her all day today too.xxx

Thank you all again, I really would be lost without you lot! It really is overwhelming to know of so many people thinking about and remembering my little Zoe bear today and always.

wiggles What you said really struck a note with me, it really helped me to get through today and enjoy celebrating Zoe's short life. x

Well after my initial melt down this morning i focused on celebrating Zoe. Dh and took her balloons to the crematorium and let the wind take them to Zoe. It was so very peaceful and calming. I baked a fab birthday cake (thanks to reastie's inspiration with the kitkat cake pic on fb ). Our wonderful friends delivered a huge bouquet of pink flowers and a little inscribed plaque.

However, unsurprisingly I have not heard a peep from my family today.

Zoe has made me the person I am today, she has made me stronger in a way that I didn't think possible. She has inspired dh and I to get married, we really are so very happy with each other and I would not be here today without him. I am no longer the little wallflower who is afraid to speak up for herself. She has taught me so much in her very short life and I am eternally grateful and very proud to call Zoe my daughter.

Beautiful words Blizy. I'm glad you've made it through the rest of today. Xx

Thinking of you blizy, mrblizy and Zoe, beautiful words blizy and what a wonderful way to remember your daughter. She must be so proud of her mammy and daddy. xxxx

blizy you've made me well up, what beautiful words. I wore a pink flower in my hair today for Zoe. I'm glad my cake picture gave you ideas for Zoes cake, bet it tasted delish. I am as ever at your family but then again maybe not , how very uncaring and unthoughtful of them . Lots of hugs xxx

Ahh blizy I may have just had a tear or two in my eyes, lovely to hear the ways in which Zoe-kins has made you stronger and how you can recognise that, wow you are an inspiration to us all. Sorry about the no word from your family, don't let them affect you too much if you can help it, so many people have been thinking of you and Z today.

What lovely words blizy, and we are inspired by you as always. xxx

I'm so glad you got through today, Blizy ((((hugs)))).

Your family are arseholes

blizy glad today held so many special memories and you and dh got to celebrate Zoes life in a way you both wanted xxx Sleep tight blizy.

PS I have a new phrase for your family - tell them to fuckski offski - courtesy of Mr W. He used it last night and it made me giggle in a very childish way for ages.

blizy - I have something in my eye after reading what you wrote about Zoe. :) It sounds like you really celebrated Zoe's life and birthday yesterday. How are you feeling today? at your family, what a bunch of arseholes.

reastie - what the heck are you spending your grocery budget on? Have you seen My Supermarket if you're already shopping online? I've never used it to shop (prefer to do it the old-fashioned way) but it'll tell you if your shop is cheaper at another supermarket then I think you can click through and order what you've put in your basket. Not sure what veg you buy but is frozen an option?

Reastie Convenience food being expensive is a myth to keep tv chefs in business , well thats my stance and I'm holding firm to it!

I don't buy a lot of expensive meat, and I don't do a traditional Sunday dinner at all, so no dear roasts etc. The girls have lunch at school and Mr W has a packed lunch when he's working so I don't have that expense. Usually he isn't here a lot and when he's on nights he has a ready meal and I don't really have a proper dinner when he's not here either. I buy whatever fruit is on offer and I always shop in Tesco, if its not in the blue and white value range its not getting in the trolley .

Absolutely beautiful day here, Anna has already been playing outside for most of the morning and is now conked out.

I made a decision to stop giving her bottles through the night a few days ago as it was becoming ridiculous and just habit, so far so good - she still wakes at the same time and screams for about 15 mins when she realises she's not getting any milk but then goes straight to sleep, still with us but one step at a time . Its made a real difference to us and although she is waking in the night she is sleeping much better and later.

blizy What lovely friends you have to send flowers. Im glad for you that the day is over,pissed off about the period though I remember ttc after my mc i just couldnt believe what shit life was throwing at me,it will happen though. I love what you wrote about Zoe making you who you are,ive tried to say that to you but it comes out wrong.

wigglesGlad you put your foot down with the bots,Dilly was the same.She was having 4 some nights then not eating during the day.Its much better when you dont have to do that.

Re shopping,i feel that mine is ridiculous.I spend 80-100 about every week and a half but am constantly popping into supermarkest and getting fresh veg and fruit and other bits.
I think its harder when you are trying to eat healthily too.I never buy convenience food i stopped it ages ago and just cant go back to it.I often pop into Iceland when Ella is at dancing as its nearby.I always marvell at the prices but would be even more fat if i shopped there.
I buy frozen fish and meat and prawns in there and sometimes frozen veg.
We are off to Aldi tomorrow to try and save money.

Pil are coming to sit cos dh is too spineless to tell them not to. I couldnt give a flying fuck tbh,im not doing anything special and if dh wants them to sleep in fresh bedding and eat food then he needs to organise it.

Hello.

Ledkr I hope that you stick to that re. Letting DH do the organising before his parents babysit. Don't do anything for them - what a faff!

Why do men (sorry if I'm being sexist here but looking through the threads of MN it does seem to be men) tend to pussyfoot around their parents? If my mum does something that I don't like or I change my mind about something eg. Babysitting, I feel comfortable enough to tell her. I'm her daughter and she understands. DH is similar to your DH, Ledkr and doesn't tell his mum and dad what's what and it drives me round the bend! It's not too much of an issue as they're nothing like your PIL (thank God).

Lottie had her MMR this morning so she's feeling VERY sorry to herself. She screamed the surgery down and then screamed all the way home! She threw her dinner on the floor, so she hasn't eaten and now she's sleeping so I'm leaving her! She'll probably wake up at school pick up time and scream again because she's hungry .

*for herself

ROBINhe sure will be doing it all ive told him straight. Ill never get the son and pil thing.I have 3 son and they tell me straight as do i.The thing is to be fair though he does tell them but they push ahead anyway,he shouldnt really have to do anymore really.
Hopefully we are doing something sunday afternoon so they will leave as they think nothing of sitting here till 8 o clock Sunday when im rushing to get kids to bed and ready for school/work on Monday.They just dont seem to have any kind of life without their kids its a shame really.
robin who were you before if you dont mind me asking?

Dilly has her vacs tomorrow shes been ok with the others i hope she is with these ones.

Hi all, I'm with ledkr on the food shop, we spend silly amounts plus the odd bits and bobs in the week which is £30 sometimes

wiggles did you leave A to cry when she woke in the night, or sit in with her, or pick her up?! A has been waking for the past 2 nights and having a bottle, but she's not really hungry so just keeps crying til we bring her into our bed. Which would be fine but she's a wriggler and this morning she woke at 5 and was wide awake, flinging herself around the duvet
I think some sort of leaving to cry may be required but I'm a softy and weak willed

Anyway I'm not impressed with all this nighttime 'fun'

Robin poor C, hope she is better now? Don't know if you saw up thread but my dp had a falling out with this parents when they visited recently - he still hasn't rung them and they havn't rang him/us - they prob think he is being arsey and its a battle of wills but actually he's just not got around to it yet

Oh god A is crying again, I have managed to leave her to cry for a bit but thought she was asleep Do I go in and sit with her or leave her to it?!

Hmm dp has just gone up and is making her laugh, I can hear giggling over the baby monitor

blizy how are you feeling today? Still thinking of you and your DH. I am so so happy to hear that you are leaning in together through this.

ledkr and robin my DH stands up to his parents but they pay no attention to him! They are odder than odd. They just don't listen.

chocoroo nice to hear from you upthread (get me!), hope all is well with you and Romilly xxx

ponyo hope Anya's gone off now. Mine don't stir at night so I can't really advise, but when they did I was a mean hard ignorer

We had screaming abdabs with the MMR too, it was 3 jabs (with Imy they split them over 2 sessions, at 12 and 13mo but now it's all at once which I think is better tbh). She was a misery guts the rest of the day too, kept remembering the trauma and crying again

Weigh in last night- FIVE LBS OFF!!! Woohoo!! I wanted 5.5 to get into the next stone bracket so was a bit gutted , but I am tres proud of myself though. I love my group, they are so lovely and supportive. I'm hoping for 3lbs off this week then I'll get my 4.5st award. Went for a run this evening too, I'm up to 25 minutes now but I am so slow. I got my 'one minute left' warning sooner than I thought tonight so I thought blow it, I'll sprint it, bloody hell that was a stretch!!

Ooo speaking of dtd, DH told Imy today that in the morning instead of screaming MUMMY MUMMY she should play with her sister so Mummy and Daddy can Have A Cuddle . I have been warned!!

Well done on the weight loss Debka that's fabulous.

Ledkr I was WanderingSheep. I haven't posted on here for a while because I was struggling to keep up plus I also do that thing of lurking for a bit, agreeing with people in my head, posting in my head, not posting it and forgetting that I haven't actually posted. Does anyone else do that on threads?

Ponyo how is work this week?
Hope A goes back to sleep! When C cries I usually have to sit with her until she's almost asleep or completely asleep. I've tried CC but she's just too persistent and it'd take all night. It's quicker just to sit with her. She usually wakes at least once in the night. It's a nightmare! She was a dream sleeper until 6 months when she started teething. She often goes down ok at the beginning of the night and usually wakes when it's time for me to go to bed or just as I'm drifting off . If we keep her up until we go to bed she usually wakes at about 2.30.

I've put an old cot mattress under her cot so that I can pull it out and I can lie on it next to her. The amount of times I've fallen asleep on the floor in the DD's room and woken up an hour later thinking, "shit!" and she's sound asleep!

secretly glad ledkr asked who you were robin, you sounded familiar but I just couldn't quite remember!!

Were you thinking, "FFS, who else rambles on like a boring idiot? I know she posts like somebody!" ?