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Sept 08 - Insert witty title 'here'

999 replies

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 28/03/2011 19:38

Sorry about the crap title ladies, I was lacking inspiration and we were up to our limit on posts!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 14/06/2011 09:40

Right, can i come on here and have a little rant please? Not posted for a while but been checking in every few days.

Eandz WELL DONE! You are inspirational and I feel bad about sitting on my fat backside too much.

I am having a shite week. 17 weeks pg, very hormonal and feel very very fat and bump not apparent yet.
Firstly, DSD comes over on Sunday, refuses to look at scan pics and doesn't even acknowledge I'm pg Hmm
But that's not a huge gripe - she was worse than this when I was pg with C (despite the fact she is now 21 and should be a bit older/wiser?) but then she also forgot Father's Day. We are away on hols on Sat, so we assumed she was coming round to drop off an early card but not a word. Anyway, that's DSD all over and I've lost too much sleep over her already.

Then on Monday, MIL who has C twice a week every week and who we are relying on to be there to look after C when I go into labour announces she has booked a holiday to Blackpool (tinsel and turkey jobby) 5 days after my due date Shock
Yes, i know it's her life and we'll cope but I am a bit surprised she had forgotten my due date and seems to be another one ignoring my pg. I have no other family nearby, so good job I'm after a HB - I think we may need it to look after C! When i jokingly mentioned the baby better make sure it's on time, I could just tell from the look on her face she hadn't even considered my due date. She even seemed surprised when I said I'd be on mat leave by then.
I'm probably over-sensitive due to hormones.

My final gripe is the worst. I'm posting here cos if I put it in AIBU I'd get harpy cries of 'leave him, he's an abuser!'
Last night c was being her usual self - ie damn frustrating and a complete PITA. I get snappy with her but am learning to deal with it - trying to ignore lots of stuff as I'll have to do this when the baby arrives.
She wouldn;t let me brush her hair, so I asked DP to hold her while I brushed. We give her a couple of chances to behave but warn she will lose bedtime story and we'll still brush her hair anyway if she continues messing about. She didn't stop so DP held her while I brushed. She started to kick, pinch and bite DP.
He then completely lost it, screamed at her and...i might as well write it....lifted his hand back in the shape of a fist.

I should make it really clear at no point did I ever think he would really hit her and if he did, we would be gone. But I just know he wouldn't. My exH hit me and I know the difference between someone who really loses it and someone who is a dickhead but wouldn't go through with a threat.

But I was so angry. i snatched C up and dashed off into her bedroom. DP then ranted at me about how I was soft and she needs discipline. Oh, I won't bore you but he behaved just like a toddler.

Honestly, he is just like something out of the 1950s and thinks if we don't crack down on her messing about, she'll end up with a bloody ASBO at 12.
She is very like me and very strongwilled and frustrating to the point of hair tearing but she is normal and is testing boundaries. It's easier for me, cos i recognise me in her, whereas DP is not used to it in a child and she pushes every single button he has and he loses his patience so easily. He is expecting perfection in every single thing she does and even minor things, which I wouldn't get worried over, he has to take issue with.
She drew on the carpet at the weekend and he was so cross but I just think it comes with the territory,.

I do believe he would never smack or hit her. He never smacked DSD
He has been working like a dog this year and is very tired. He hasn't taken a day off this year so far for himself.

On paper it looks worse than it was. he did come and apologise and gave C a big cuddle before she went to bed but I am still fuming at him and needed somewhere to let off steam.

Sorry for monopolising!

And breathe.

eandz · 14/06/2011 10:37

Thank you MrsA
sorry your having a tough time. Hopefully this coming week will be better and you won't be as hormotional.

Don't worry, I can monopolize with my melodrama too!

DH and I are constantly left out of family events (two family weddings this year), it makes us quite sad. It makes me livid though when I hear from other family members that SIL is still pretending like I'm the reason she's such a crap sister to dh+shitty aunty to N. As soon as she becomes reasonable with her excuses I'm sure DH and N would love to see her. Even if she is a giant pygmy rat with bad teeth.

On a positive note though, I'm craving summer vegetables, but not sure which salads to make this week. Have decided to take the boys on a scavenger hunt through the city for Fathers day. I need to come up with a delicious picnic lunch for Saturday and SundayI have NO idea what to pack. I bought two different types of thermos (whats the plural for that?) one for hot liquid and one for cold, so I'm definitely going to take a home made soupor maybe a cold gazpacho...dunno.

any ideas?

Also, I know a little boy at N's nursery whose father walked out on him when his Mother was pregnant. I know the mother has had a rough time lately and all the kids will be making cards for their fathers this week. Should I make her a card for being an amazing Mother? I'm not sure if anyone gave her a card for Mothers day either.

Debs75 · 14/06/2011 10:47

MrsA have a huge hug a Brew and aBiscuit.
You sound pretty stressed with the pregnancy and your dsd sounds like she is scared of being pushed aside. she needs someone to sit her down and explain she is an adult and should behave like one.

as for your dp then I think he needs the same. C sounds a lot like Robyn, strong willed and a little madam. She pushes me so much and i am always disappearing for 5 mins peace so i don't snap. He needs to relax around her and pick his battles with her, drawing on the carpet is naughty but not the end of the world.
If you know he will never hit her then that is great but he needs to know how upsetting the threat of violence can be and it isn't fair on a little child.

Meglet · 14/06/2011 16:13

oh MrsA Sad. Have you spoken to your DP about it today. It was an awful thing for him to do, has he mentioned it today, can you speak to him about it? Both my dc's are subborn little sods at times (in fact, all of the time for me) some children are more determined than others, I daresay in the long term it works out ok.

I've just had DS's first school visit, he was fine when they were all playing, super confident, being friendly etc, but decided to be the only child who bursts into tears during quiet story time on the mat Sad. I am so worried school will be a nightmare. I have had tea and a chocolate biscuit to calm down Grin.

eandz Grin at 'giant pygmy rat with bad teeth', I needed cheering up!

eandz · 14/06/2011 22:55

meglet

anything to make you smile :)

Debs75 · 15/06/2011 07:58

Robyn has just done a huge poo on her potty with no troubleGrin She then had to run upstairs and wake her dad up to tel him all about it double[grin
She has done so well this week but it has been whilst in the nuddy so it will be back to nappies at nursery until she masters taking down her pants. Going to talk to them today about how they will 'train' her at nursery. It's a good job it is summer as she has loads of loose shorts, skirts and dresses to wear. I guess I am in for loads of washing

DebiTheScot · 15/06/2011 11:33

Poor you MrsA, have you had a chance to speak to dp about it yet? He needs to know that while you know he wouldn't hit her, she doesn't.
I find it frustrating when the grandparents (who don't see the boys that often) don't react how I'd like to the typical toddler behaviour and act as if the behaviour is a shock to them. It seems like it doesn't take long for you to forget what toddlers are like (look on that as a positive for us!)
I also have a very stubborn and strong willed toddler andit can be very hard. Getting dressed is often a battle in our house. Although I don't like smacking I have done it (and regretted it if it was a proper smack on the bum) and on a couple of times the only way to get ds2's clothes on has been to smack his hand. I've tried being nice, I've shouted, I've turned it into a game etc etc but some days the only thing that works is pinning him down and if it's just me I cannot always do that. A smack on the hand stops him wriggling long enough to get his clothes on.

eandz that's really sad that you get left out of stuff, is there a reason for it? I laughed at 'giant pygmy rat with no teeth' too!
I think it could be a really nice gesture to make a card for that mum as long as you have tissues handy in case it makes her cry!

DebiTheScot · 15/06/2011 11:33

bad teeth, not no teeth.

eandz · 15/06/2011 12:14

debithescot

I don't know why we get left out. I'm starting to think the problem is me, since I still haven't made a single close friend while living in London. I really can't figure it out at all. If any of you ladies have ever met me and know why, I won't take any offence if you pm me and give me your honest opinions.

Do I smell bad? Is it my teeth? Is it because I'm fat?

As far as the other mother is concerned, I don't want to do something that may cause a reaction. I think I'll just ask her to lunch or something.

eandz · 15/06/2011 16:55

I know this is lame, but I really feel the need to snack on chocolate right this instant, and I would if I hadn't start a diet two days ago and felt like I was really making progress. Someone talk me out of it!

On another note, since this thread is soo quiet today--I really feel like an MN defender today. I really should get back to being busy.

CappuccinoCarrie · 15/06/2011 20:22

Be strong, step away from the chocolate eandz! And we think you're great Grin

How are things mrsa, have you been able to talk to your DP in the cold light of day and when emotions aren't so high? Whatever strategy you choose, one of the most helpful things in the long run is if both parents present a united front and are consistent with each other in how they approach things. My parents were the opposite of that and it messed with my head.

Debs75 · 15/06/2011 20:48

Eandz put the chocolate down wrap it up and send it my way. I don't do diets, am fat anyway and just love chocolateWink
And you are great you know that

Robyn has had another good day on the potty, 5,YES 5 poos and several wees. I think I may have tried her at the right time, fingers crossed, knocking on wood and definitely not counting my chickens here

eandz · 15/06/2011 22:48

Thank you ladies :) I did manage to not eat the chocolate. I'm soo happy about that.

Debs 5 poos?! Amazing, what do you feed her to get out 5 poos?! I want whatever she's having.

DebiTheScot · 16/06/2011 18:40

Those of you on fb who are friends with the person who's just had another baby girl, what's her mn name?
I was thinking of ditching some of my fb friends who I never communicate with & aren't on here.

DebiTheScot · 16/06/2011 18:41

Aren't ever on here anymore that was meant to say!

Meglet · 16/06/2011 20:39

debi I was going to ask the same thing! I can't remember.

Meglet · 16/06/2011 20:41

She was littleconnie, I looked on our FB group page (why don't I remember that name? maybe she's name-changed since?).

Lollyheart · 16/06/2011 20:44

Bookmarking.

Debs75 · 17/06/2011 08:34

Eandz she never stops eating.lol. That must be why.
She's still doing well but is in nappies at nursery until we master pulling pants up and down. I'm hoping for next week but dp doesn't want me to push her.

eandz · 17/06/2011 20:57

debs75
nice. Don't worry about her and potty training. I'm sure she'll get the hang of it. Noah has gone of his potty because it doesn't look like the real thing. He doesn't want to sit on the big potty because it's not small like the ones at his nursery.

N is soooooo controlling!

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 17/06/2011 22:35

Just popping back very quickly to say thanks for all your supportive messages.

DP and I had a talk and sorted things out. Apparently, this is the technique he used on DSD. he never ever hit or smacked and never would but the threat of a hand raised in the air, DSD knew she was being v naughty.
I asked what was the next step if C didn't stop what she was doing, and he said 'well there isn't one'.
Erm, great plan. C is just the sort of child who would push it further (cos i did and would!). DSD was quite a robot compliant child apparently.
It's a learning curve for us. I made it clear I agreed with consequences/ boundaries but threats of violence was not acceptable, so we're working towards a compromise that works for us both.

Anyhoo, off to Florida tomorrow, yay! A 9 hr flight with C (must be mad) but can't wait to meet Mickey mouse Grin

see you later!

Meglet · 18/06/2011 09:38

bookmarking.

My voice has almost gone and I'm ill, it always happens when I'm left on my own without any help for a week Sad. I am the world's crappest lone parent. Thank God my mum is back from her hols later!

I can't even write notes to the kids as they can't bloomin' read yet!

mrsA Have a wonderful time, hope C likes Mickey Mouse. My cousin's kids in the states are scared of him (2 & 5yr olds)!

Lollyheart · 18/06/2011 09:44

Have a great time mrsA Envy my dd keeps asking when are we going to Disney land. bloody tv ads

Hope you start to feel better soon Meglet

eandz · 18/06/2011 10:18

meglet
get well soon! and you're one of the best parents i've seen for miles :)

mrsa have fun :)

Meglet · 19/06/2011 18:08

bookmarking.