Oh thank you all for your comments, it really has helped me to focus.
Sunshine I do hope things work out for you at your new job, it sounds like you've had a tough old time.
I was worrying that DD will find the change from nursery to school hard, but from what you have all said, I'm feeling better.
I have also done some research and the local school that offers wraparound care opens its nursery from 7.45am till 6pm, so if she went there, that would easily suit my hours and she would get experience of pre-school in a formal setting. I reckon I could then send her to her current private nursery in school holidays as it is in the grounds of the local college and takes lots of students' children so is very quiet in school holidays!
(I'll deal with holiday care etc when she's at full-time school another time - it's the year from Sept 2012 that I'm looking at now).
On the one hand keeping her in the private nursery would suit as No2 will also go there but once she's in school full time, we'll have to sort 2 drop offs so it's not a huge dilemma. One of her closest friends at nursery is also going to the pre-school with wraparound care as his mum works FT too, so it would be nice for them both to go together (but not essential).
And I think I have chosen her school. She was always going to the primary school that I can almost see from my front drive and as I work from home sometimes I had visions of being able to pick her up once a week and walking etc. But have done some research prompted by a friend who lives opposite and it's gone downhill fast.
Another school about 5mins drive away is about half the size, has received consistently 'outstanding' reports and, can you believe it, is under subscribed! They actually phoned my friend and asked her to come and see the school,before she made her choices and she's gone for it.
It is walkable but you have to walk down a single-track lane with passing places, no pavement, so not good for walks with little people.
But I have to put her education first. It's also a feeder into a very good local ex-grammar school.
So, upshot is, I shall put in a notice of interest for both the pre-school and the school and then see what happens. Either way, am very excited as maternity leave means I shall reduce her nursery days by one, so she will still go 2 days a week and be with nana 1 day a week but I will have her 2 days a week with the new baby.
It gives me and baby time to bond and do 'baby' stuff and then time for DD to get to know her new sibling. Am really quite pleased at the timing!