JW please help me to understand my new friend

[cantthinkofausername26]

I've got a lovely new friend, we have children the same age and they get on fabulously. My friend is a Jehovah's Witness. I understand she will not celebrate Christmas or birthdays but I'm nervous about offending her. For example, would it be weird to invite her to my house that's a Christmas grotto? How do I not leave her children out when DD gives out little gifts to her classmates at Christmas?

With respect, @PrimitivePerson, your extreme views and comments are making you look more bonkers than the JW's you are ruthlessly bad mouthing.

What a refreshing post. Thank you

My mums a JW very stuck and strict in her beliefs when I was a child made life with her very difficult but she’s calmed in her old age, now she’ll come to my child’s birthday parties (not celebrating, brings no gifts) doesn’t mind coming to my house with decorations and buys my children a gift after Christmas.

Anyway just speak to them, in my childhood my mother wouldn’t have allowed a gift and would have thrown any cards in the fire.

People are right if you’ve decided to get baptised and then leave you are shunned by them, it’s not right and I don’t agree with It. I knew from a young age it wasn’t for me so my mother can still speak to me and my 4 siblings who also never enjoyed the religion.

Personally I think it’s absolutely disgusting, if I bring anything about it up to my mum she just ignores me.
But I also don’t know if I’d like my mum more if she wasn’t one it keeps her on the straight and narrow, she’s an awful drunk and has terrible taste in men. So I suppose because of this religion she can’t be seen to be drinking excessively and she can’t be seen to be promiscuous 🤷‍♀️

There are degrees, of devotion in the religion some more than others.

Op one thing to be aware of is that some JW families are not in tune with modern British values for example on LGBT issues. I was very upset when my five year old was told by a JW classmate that men should not marry men. I did not encourage a friendship.

Well, like I said, I know a guy who was a JW (and I actually did know him until I moved away, this isn't anecdotal) who was ostracised by his entire family for going to another church. His wife and kids never spoke to him again.

That's extreme.

This is a really good article from a few weeks back amp.theguardian.com/film/2024/oct/26/i-thought-id-die-at-armageddon-hollywood-action-hero-luke-evans-on-growing-up-gay-as-a-jehovahs-witness

JW doctrines are extremely socially conservative and extremely homophobic. They're pretty brutal on sex before marriage as well, far more so than most mainstream Christians.

Totally agree. Having a JW best friend at college whom my DD became very close to, only to have that 'friend' renounce the friendship and my DD did nothing to help her already fragile mental health.

Interesting that you're not interested in people's genuine experiences.

@PrimitivePerson you've said the same thing 3 or 4 times now. You're referring to one person out of hundreds of thousands. You may have had bad experiences, but that's not true of every JW clearly from other posters' experiences. You are coming across very troubled. Have you had counselling for your traumas?

@StMarie4me I'm not interested in peoples extreme and abusive opinions. Just facts.

Those of you with extreme views against JW, just wondering, do you encourage your children to hate an entire community of people based on your experiences with a few of them?

Op what about the hate eg homophobia? Are you not worried about your dc being exposed to that?

Sadly just like any other ex of religions, cults,fads etc you will have your haters of it and bad mouthers. Of course our children play with other children not Jws as for Xmas ours get plenty of gifts after new year from neighbours etc and it's really nice to see so many in our street perfectly happy to do that. We then give all the children we know who aren't Jws gifts during the year and also have a fairly large garden party in the summer with a mix of Jws and all the ones who treat us the same as always. There is absolutely nothing wrong in respecting people's wishes or religion and still gifting at another time 😊

I’be got 2 friends relevant to this - one is a practising JW (Alice) and the other brought up in it and no longer one (Belinda).

Alice barely mentions it and while she doesn’t give or receive Christmas presents and has elected for a bloodless surgery in the past, she doesn’t try to convert me (!).

Belinda’s parents are still practising JWs and neither she nor her siblings are any more (and aren’t fans of the faith) but her parents are all on good terms with her and even have attended Christmas lunch with their now non believer daughter and grandchildren. They don’t exchange presents or cards but accept their children have made different choices.

There’s no point generalising - some JWs will try to convert you and others won’t.

I'm getting a sense of déjà vu.
Wasn't there a JW tag team post about this time last year?

Poster 1: Generally vague enquiring post about JW, mentioning a lovely friend who happens to be a JW
<lots of anti-JW noise>
Poster 2: It's not really like that, we're nice really
<lots of anti-JW noise>
Poster 1: Everyone here is all so nasty and mean about JW
<lots of anti-JW noise>
Poster 2: I know, and we have biscuits for visitors

Isn't that exactly what you're doing though? Hating a group of people?

Can you post a single thing of mine I have said which is hatred?

Op would you encourage a friendship where a child told your child gay marriage is vile?

I would be worried about being friends with people involved in that. It's very abusive and a doomsday cult. I did work with one JW guy and he was always really, really smiley and happy. I could never quite work out why as he had the same job as me which was shite. Boring as fuck and horribly paid.

I'm not JW. I don't consider myself religious at all. I'm just completely shocked at the amount of bigots openly HATING a religious group. How is this any better than hating people because they are Jewish or Muslim? As adults we should be respecting other people's wishes to do and believe in what they want. If it doesn't affect you why are you so hateful?
Quite frankly you should be ashamed of yourselves, there's plenty of hate in this world already.

Interesting to note the majority of cult comments and hearsay as in heard from an ex witness etc..Unfortunately I prefer to live in the real world and make my own mind up based on my own experiences. Not judging because I've heard or read. I can absolutely assure you there are no haters unless haters of drugs, violence, stis,anything even a usual human being would expect or any other religion talks about aswell. You know someone can preach about fitness,gym etc and I hate it absolutely, some come across as cults there fitness groups but does it make me hate the people, make rude comments,treat them nastily. Nope it's the fitness I hate not the people and no need to get horrid about something your not personally into. As could be said of lots of things tbh

How dare he be smiley and happy when he is part of this evil cult

Op I come from one of the faith groups you have mentioned. I am an atheist but that is my heritage. I find any homophobia concerning.