JW please help me to understand my new friend

[cantthinkofausername26]

I've got a lovely new friend, we have children the same age and they get on fabulously. My friend is a Jehovah's Witness. I understand she will not celebrate Christmas or birthdays but I'm nervous about offending her. For example, would it be weird to invite her to my house that's a Christmas grotto? How do I not leave her children out when DD gives out little gifts to her classmates at Christmas?

@Namechanging88

Are you a born in or a recent convert?

I'm genuinely interested as it will give us ex dubs a clearer insight on your responses

Born in.
My immediate family are all jws...my relatives are a mixture of Catholic, Adventist, Atheists and Baptist.

My mum was Catholic when she decided to change.

Exactly. This is why I am extremely a sceptical when people say that their kids are fine and happy.

It's obviously natural to bring up your children in your own religion. But not all religions are the same, or engender the same fear/hatred for the world.

My parents were Catholics when they converted in 74 when there was a mass conversion as it was predicted Armagedon would be in 76.
You say you are in your 30s?

I think a lot has changed, it's far more relaxed since my day. And many have left in droves due to the Internet where information about the history or the org is readily available.

How do u feel about the change in flip flop of 1914 generation rule and the new blood stance and women now being allowed to wear trousers and men wearing beards?

What I mean is, these were all made up rules that suddenly changed by a group of uneducated men on a whim.
I can guess why.

How do you feel about it but please don't give me the WT answer

I missed being by a bridesmaid at my Aunts wedding when I was a child because of the indoctrination. I was married in a church and my mother was very on the fence about whether she would even go until the last minute.

I know 2 people that are JW. Two...in my entire life. One tried to convert me, one didn't. Both lovely people, and I never had an issue with either of them. The one who tried to convert me was met with a firm NO. Because I have my OWN mind. The fact that the OP took the time to start a thread about her new mate means she's already got questions. Life is too short...be friends, don't be friends....but be strong enough to say no

I’d be wary of investing too much in the friendship as she will be duty bound to evangelise and invite you to join the JW. It’s possible she will drop you if she’s asked to by the church.

I've asked 2 active witnesses on here questions about their beliefs. Questions that they would likely be asked on their door to door activities.

But both have vanished.

Hi Horrace, I didn't disappear...I sure I said up thread that I'm not usually good with being active on mumsnet threads.

In response to changes in belief I think you already know what my answer will be anyway, as you were raised a JW. Proverbs 4:18

I suppose if you believe the Bible and you believe the GB are truly spear heading the preaching work in our time, then trousers/skirts don't really affect your life in a significant way. That's a reflection of what is considered smart/formal wear generally in our time.

In response to blood fractions and derivatives that is reflective of the advance in medicine and will ALWAYS be a controversial subject of which I am grateful to have not been touched by in my life so far. I've had major surgeries but always in places where the Dr's were very able to handle surgery without blood. I've also had people close to me affected negatively by transfusions so I've seen both sides of that coin but don't want to be outing.

Suppose it's like Timothy having to be circumcised as a young man when the Christian congregation wasn't sure if it was necessary. I wonder if he was annoyed when it was later decided that Christians definitely didn't need to be circumcised to please God. (He didn't even have paracetamol)

I'm probably going to vanish now. (Got storm damage to sort out 😭)

Honestly I think you sound like someone who would be good to talk to IRL.

I hope OP doesn't mind that we have all somewhat hijacked her thread

you’re free to do whatever you want but “an aunt” or “know someone” it’s incredibly patronising. They can be lovely as I said but again you don’t know what you’re taking about. My perspective comes from 20 years of a lot of pain. Knock yourself out

The point is that the organisation strongly discourages JWs being friends with ‘worldly people’. It’s okay to be friendly as a prelude to trying to convert them , but not okay to have good friends who don’t share their belief system. They believe anyone who isn’t JW will die in Armageddon. Even being close to family members who aren’t ’In the Truth’ is kind of a waste of time.

I invited a few JWs into my home to have a discussion about Jesus (I'm a Baptist) after they knocked at the door. They were both pleasant and polite but the man did all the talking - didn't hear a peep from the young lady with him. We had another few chats afterwards and I made it clear that I wasn't interested in joining them. A couple of months later I moved out (different county, very rural) and who should I find knocking at the new door?! Didn't answer of course, but it did make me a bit jumpy for a while!

My sons best friend in reception is a JW we didn't have a clue until recently when we asked his parents what day his party would be (our sons are 2 days apart), they kindly explained, thinks kinda clicked... our son knew, he kept trying to tell us his friend doesn't celebrate birthdays... they havnt attempted to push their religion on us at all, our sons meet at the stake park regularly, the parents talk to us at school, my son even hugs his best friend all the time!