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Rehomed our dog, so so sad

263 replies

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 08:30

I just need to talk, not many people understand the love you have for your dog. We sadly rehomed one of our dogs on Saturday. For no other reason really other than he’s just too big (35kg), he’s a rescue and we’ve had him 4 years. We had a baby in January and the space has just decreased month by month as baby starts to crawl etc. We have another much smaller dog and thought about rehoming her too but chose the big dog in the end as he just seemed to never have space to lie anywhere comfortably. I now regret so much moving into this place, we bought when inflation rates were sky high two years ago which meant we had limited choices on where to buy, our budget was so limited and we live in the suburbs of london so it’s quite expensive. It’s really just a flat with a non direct access garden, we managed quite well until the baby was born and it has just become so difficult space wise recently. Our big dog would just squeeze into any area he could (he’s not into his bed) so I’d constantly be tripping over him with the baby. He was becoming jumpy/ nervous as I was constantly saying things like ‘move’ or accidentally bumping the high chair off him.

Our friends have taken him for a two week trial, although I think they will keep him for good and the term ‘trial’ was more to soften the blow for us. They have more time and much more space, they live closer to countryside but less than a 1.5 hour drive away so we can still see him. He’s a bit nervous in their home but is gradually starting to relax more they’ve said.

We have agreed to take him back for a week end of October as they are going away so it’s good we’ll see him. I am slightly worried that could unsettle him (and us) though.

I’m heartbroken beyond belief and if I had have know I’d feel this bad, I don’t think I would have done it, I felt sort of ok with the idea up until we actually left him. Part of me thought we wouldn’t go through with it. I regret so much moving to a small home, tbh we knew it was small but got a good price at the time when we were struggling to find somewhere, we also thought a baby wouldn’t happen as we needed IVF but luckily it happened very quickly. We sort told ourselves, we’ll manage at the time, and sell in a few years when we grow out of it but it’s been 1.5 years exactly since we’ve moved in and I don’t see us moving to a bigger space at least for 3-4 years. I just feel stupid and guilty that we didn’t consider things a bit more, we probably could have looked harder or moved slightly further out back then, we knew a baby was on the cards so shame on us for not planing a better move at the time. He’s such a perfect dog and I miss him so much. Part of me wants them to call us and say this isn’t working, take your dog back so then I wouldn’t have to make this awful decision. I know that would be silly, they’ll have more time for walks, attention and stimulation. I have barely pet the dogs since the baby was born and I feel so bad about that.

OP posts:
grapesstrawberriespleass · 08/09/2025 15:28

Lol saying people won’t understand the love you have for your dog yet you rehomed him, a member of your family who you’ve had for four years, because you have a baby now. It’s a shitty thing to do and you are not an animal lover. He’s better off with a different family anyway.

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 15:28

mydogisthebest · 08/09/2025 14:01

No way should you have the dog back when the new owners go away or keep in contact with him.

It will confuse and upset him. I know someone that tried to do this and it just did not work and the dog struggled to settle in either home

Can I ask do you know how often or how soon after they took him back? We were thinking it would only be a few times a year.

OP posts:
TreadSoftlyOnMyDreams · 08/09/2025 15:30

Are you on mat leave? Is it an option to dog sit him at their home? Leave DH to his own devices for the week preferably with the other dog left at home too

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 15:33

Yet again another one that gets rid of a dog because a baby came along. The poor thing was a rescue to start off with and now has been abandoned yet again. I really wish that before owning or rescuing a dog that people were made to sign to say that they will fully commit for the lifetime of the dog.

Don't put the dog through anymore misery by taking it back for one week. You made the decision, now stick with it and have no further contact with the dog. You made a massive mistake by rehoming the dog with a friend.

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 15:34

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 15:28

Can I ask do you know how often or how soon after they took him back? We were thinking it would only be a few times a year.

For goodness sake, do you not get it? Never is the answer.

StewkeyBlue · 08/09/2025 15:36

All our family dogs have a ‘home away from home’ , a best friend or family member who they go to when the owner is on holiday, in hospital or whatever.

They are familiar with the home and the people, are delighted to meet whoever they are returning to and show nothing but settled, calm, thriving behaviour.

I don’t see how your friends boarding the dog with a third home would be better than being back with you for a week.

(I am a ‘home from home’, not a full time owner, but the dog I care for is very happy with me, and happy to see his owner return)

Sevenamcoffee · 08/09/2025 15:38

If he’s a rescue aren’t you supposed to give him back to the rescue? It’s usually part of the deal.

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 15:39

StewkeyBlue · 08/09/2025 15:36

All our family dogs have a ‘home away from home’ , a best friend or family member who they go to when the owner is on holiday, in hospital or whatever.

They are familiar with the home and the people, are delighted to meet whoever they are returning to and show nothing but settled, calm, thriving behaviour.

I don’t see how your friends boarding the dog with a third home would be better than being back with you for a week.

(I am a ‘home from home’, not a full time owner, but the dog I care for is very happy with me, and happy to see his owner return)

Edited

Hardly the same is it? The dog would be going back to it's previous owner; the family home that abandoned him.

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/09/2025 15:40

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 15:28

Can I ask do you know how often or how soon after they took him back? We were thinking it would only be a few times a year.

That’s incredibly selfish. You need to put the dog first - there is a very good reason that if you rehome your dog to a rescue you do not see it again.

All you will do is cause the dog more confusion and pain. Don’t be needlessly cruel to make yourself feel better.

ScribblingPixie · 08/09/2025 15:40

Sevenamcoffee · 08/09/2025 15:38

If he’s a rescue aren’t you supposed to give him back to the rescue? It’s usually part of the deal.

Yes, it is. I'd also like to hear the OP's answer to this.

Clearinguptheclutter · 08/09/2025 15:45

assuming you trust your friends and it sounds like you do, I think you’ve done the right thing for the dog.

sounds very difficult

I’m not sure having him back temporarily is a good idea for him though, I wonder if no other options your or your DP could dogsit at their new house? That would be easier for him if settled.

Sportsdaywinner · 08/09/2025 15:45

Don't confuse the poor dog even more by having him when your friends are away. Don't you think he's had enough upheaval?
You sound selfish and thoughtless to be honest.

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 15:45

miniaturepixieonacid · 08/09/2025 14:09

Just as another potential option - could you and your friends share the dog? This can work really successfully for dog lovers who can't commit full time. My grandma started off looking after my cousin's dog when they went on holidays but loved having him so much that he's now there probably a third of the time. Works for my cousins who have 3 kids and are super busy but have loads of space and physical fitness. And works for my grandma who lives alone and loves company but can't exercise a dog easily.

Your dog could be with you mid week and with your friends Fri - Mon when you are most likely to need the space at home?

That’s a great idea, I guess I could introduce that idea if our friends come back and say they are having doubts about full time commitment but so far they aren’t though. Do you think that taking him back when they’re on holiday would be ok then? He’s a pretty east going dog, loves people and is quite resilient, doesn’t get seperation anxiety so I think it would be ok but many on here disagree. I guess we won’t know until we try it though.

OP posts:
Tink3rbell30 · 08/09/2025 15:46

So the dog was there before the baby, then gets disposed of when a baby you didn't have space for appears. That's awful, dogs are family.

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 15:46

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 15:45

That’s a great idea, I guess I could introduce that idea if our friends come back and say they are having doubts about full time commitment but so far they aren’t though. Do you think that taking him back when they’re on holiday would be ok then? He’s a pretty east going dog, loves people and is quite resilient, doesn’t get seperation anxiety so I think it would be ok but many on here disagree. I guess we won’t know until we try it though.

You really are clueless aren't you.

OrangeSmoke · 08/09/2025 15:47

ScribblingPixie · 08/09/2025 15:40

Yes, it is. I'd also like to hear the OP's answer to this.

I don't see how this would be in the dog's best interest, rescues are very traumatising places for dogs to stay and it would be at least one additional move (OP > rescue > new owner) and that's before the possibility of a foster home. It actually seems more responsible to me to rehome with someone the OP trusts.

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/09/2025 15:48

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 15:45

That’s a great idea, I guess I could introduce that idea if our friends come back and say they are having doubts about full time commitment but so far they aren’t though. Do you think that taking him back when they’re on holiday would be ok then? He’s a pretty east going dog, loves people and is quite resilient, doesn’t get seperation anxiety so I think it would be ok but many on here disagree. I guess we won’t know until we try it though.

I’m losing my patience now.

You are only listening to people who say what you want to hear.

Put the bloody dog first and stop being such a drip. Poor bloody dog.

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 15:51

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/09/2025 15:48

I’m losing my patience now.

You are only listening to people who say what you want to hear.

Put the bloody dog first and stop being such a drip. Poor bloody dog.

It's laughable if not so tragic! So the dog gets rehomed because he is too big. So what's going to happen when they have it back for a weeks holiday, is he going to shrink?!

OreoCookay · 08/09/2025 15:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ScribblingPixie · 08/09/2025 15:52

OrangeSmoke · 08/09/2025 15:47

I don't see how this would be in the dog's best interest, rescues are very traumatising places for dogs to stay and it would be at least one additional move (OP > rescue > new owner) and that's before the possibility of a foster home. It actually seems more responsible to me to rehome with someone the OP trusts.

They can often rehome straight from your home. But the point is that if she's signed an agreement wth the rescue when she adopted then she was obliged to contact them to let them know she was no longer able to provide a home.

MarioLink · 08/09/2025 15:55

He'll be happier with more space. You've done the best thing for him. Spoil your little dog who fits in your house.

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 16:00

MarioLink · 08/09/2025 15:55

He'll be happier with more space. You've done the best thing for him. Spoil your little dog who fits in your house.

'fits in your house' 😅Let's hope the poor thing is fully grown then.

Sarah2891 · 08/09/2025 16:03

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 15:46

You really are clueless aren't you.

Starting to think it's a wind-up.

Lou670 · 08/09/2025 16:05

Sarah2891 · 08/09/2025 16:03

Starting to think it's a wind-up.

Sadly I don't. There are people like her out there!

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 16:05

DangerousAlchemy · 08/09/2025 14:38

Yeah this. I foster cats and kittens and when we rehome them the new owners sign a contract saying they will contact us/return them to us in the future if the circumstances change and they can no longer keep them. Op should have contacted the original charity 1st. Plus I feel so sad she split up 2 bonded dogs. Hopefully the friends can provide a much more suitable and stable home.

Because I want him to come back to us if it doesn’t work out with our friends, I don’t want him in kennels or passed round to fosters. I just won’t rehome him if it doesn’t work out.

OP posts:
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