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Rehomed our dog, so so sad

263 replies

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 08:30

I just need to talk, not many people understand the love you have for your dog. We sadly rehomed one of our dogs on Saturday. For no other reason really other than he’s just too big (35kg), he’s a rescue and we’ve had him 4 years. We had a baby in January and the space has just decreased month by month as baby starts to crawl etc. We have another much smaller dog and thought about rehoming her too but chose the big dog in the end as he just seemed to never have space to lie anywhere comfortably. I now regret so much moving into this place, we bought when inflation rates were sky high two years ago which meant we had limited choices on where to buy, our budget was so limited and we live in the suburbs of london so it’s quite expensive. It’s really just a flat with a non direct access garden, we managed quite well until the baby was born and it has just become so difficult space wise recently. Our big dog would just squeeze into any area he could (he’s not into his bed) so I’d constantly be tripping over him with the baby. He was becoming jumpy/ nervous as I was constantly saying things like ‘move’ or accidentally bumping the high chair off him.

Our friends have taken him for a two week trial, although I think they will keep him for good and the term ‘trial’ was more to soften the blow for us. They have more time and much more space, they live closer to countryside but less than a 1.5 hour drive away so we can still see him. He’s a bit nervous in their home but is gradually starting to relax more they’ve said.

We have agreed to take him back for a week end of October as they are going away so it’s good we’ll see him. I am slightly worried that could unsettle him (and us) though.

I’m heartbroken beyond belief and if I had have know I’d feel this bad, I don’t think I would have done it, I felt sort of ok with the idea up until we actually left him. Part of me thought we wouldn’t go through with it. I regret so much moving to a small home, tbh we knew it was small but got a good price at the time when we were struggling to find somewhere, we also thought a baby wouldn’t happen as we needed IVF but luckily it happened very quickly. We sort told ourselves, we’ll manage at the time, and sell in a few years when we grow out of it but it’s been 1.5 years exactly since we’ve moved in and I don’t see us moving to a bigger space at least for 3-4 years. I just feel stupid and guilty that we didn’t consider things a bit more, we probably could have looked harder or moved slightly further out back then, we knew a baby was on the cards so shame on us for not planing a better move at the time. He’s such a perfect dog and I miss him so much. Part of me wants them to call us and say this isn’t working, take your dog back so then I wouldn’t have to make this awful decision. I know that would be silly, they’ll have more time for walks, attention and stimulation. I have barely pet the dogs since the baby was born and I feel so bad about that.

OP posts:
Sodastreamin · 08/09/2025 09:48

Exactly @CaroleLandisthe little dog will be essentially grieving his friend. I think some people consider dogs as ornaments or soft toys that eat, drink, wee & poo. They have feelings and emotions.

BellaCriesAndThatsAlright · 08/09/2025 09:49

People are really weird about dogs on here...

You have done the right thing OP

Mauro711 · 08/09/2025 09:51

BellaCriesAndThatsAlright · 08/09/2025 09:49

People are really weird about dogs on here...

You have done the right thing OP

You mean because people take their wellbeing seriously. Yea, super weird!

AaBbCcD · 08/09/2025 09:52

If you don’t have the space, you shouldn’t have had a child. The dog was there first, and should not have been disposed off because you wanted a baby. hopefully his new home realise a dog is for life

itsoktonotbeokitstrue · 08/09/2025 09:53

I remember when I was pregnant, I got asked so many times if I was rehoming my cat and all my rescued rabbits. I was disgusted. Plus the people suggesting my cat would harm the baby! Omg for real. As soon as she was born my cat was protective over her. Had my boy 12 years now and I can’t imagine life without my cat. People who love animals do the best for them. With cats and dogs it’s to stay with their families. And yes my dog and a cat are our family. Kids include them as family when asked at school. Animals are a privilege.

Theseventhmagpie · 08/09/2025 10:09

Hoppinggreen · 08/09/2025 08:49

Its good you put him first in the end but I will not give you a pat on the head for it
Rehoming a dog because you have had a baby is shitty

Totally agreed- appalling thing to do.
Do NOT bring the poor dog back to yours for a week, that will totally upset them- I’m afraid I don’t care what your feelings are about wanting to see the dog again.

Endofyear · 08/09/2025 10:09

It sounds like you've done the best thing for you and for your dog. I wouldn't have him back for a week in October though, won't this just be confusing for him?

My friend took in her son's dog when he and his wife had a baby and a life changing health condition - the dog is fine, has settled very happily. Sometimes rehoming is the best thing for a dog when your circumstances change.

ACR7 · 08/09/2025 10:12

I think the issues would only have been temporary. We have a 15 month old and a cat. Daughter tries to crawl after him and generally get on his nerves. We just have to ensure we keep them apart as we know he could lash out and it’s also not nice for him to be chased. We make sure he gets his attention and fusses on evening when she’s asleep. This won’t last forever though as soon she’ll understand more and will learn to pet him nicely. She hey aren’t at the crawling and doing as they please stage for long.

lizzyBennet08 · 08/09/2025 10:17

Sodastreamin · 08/09/2025 09:44

You cannot just rehome a dog because he’s in your bloody way! Wow. I hope he’s happier where he is. Dogs are part of your family. Would you rehome a child because they’ve grown? No you’d find a way to move to accommodate. Did you not consider space when you decided to have a baby? Poor thing

Seriously

I don't care how much of a dog lover you are, they are not the same as children.

BellaCriesAndThatsAlright · 08/09/2025 10:18

lizzyBennet08 · 08/09/2025 10:17

Seriously

I don't care how much of a dog lover you are, they are not the same as children.

Exactly. Child > dog.

SeaAndStars · 08/09/2025 10:28

I can imagine this is very painful for you OP but you have made the right decision based on the situation for you. It sounds as though your dog has found new owners who will give him the best possible life.

Please really think hard about having him come to stay with you. It will be VERY upsetting for the dog who will just be settling into his new home. When he comes to you he will think he's back permanently and just cruel. I think it will also be very painful for you and your existing dog. Don't do it.

Sassylovesbooks · 08/09/2025 10:34

You have made the right choice for the dog. I'm assuming wherever you lived previously had plenty of room for both dogs? Buying a property in London is hard, and it's expensive for a small property. The likelihood of you being able to afford a property big enough for two dogs and a (at the time) a potential baby, was small. You've moved into a property that you could realistically afford. I do agree with others, you can't take the dog back for a weekend, because I assume his new owners are away, that's not fair on the dog. In all honesty the new owners shouldn't have agreed to have the dog until they were back from holiday. Staying with you or being put in kennels within a month of going to a new home, will be massively unsettling for the poor dog.

steppemum · 08/09/2025 11:18

I am going to put my hard hat on and push back against some of these 'dog lovers'

if you say - I could never rehome my dog because he is part of the family and I love him so much.
Then you do not love your dog.
If you love a dog, you do what is best for the dog. What is best for the dog is not always staying with you, however much you love it.
It is selfish to think that you are the best thing for the dog when the circumstances have changed so that the dog is no longer happy.

If a dog is highly stressed when a baby comes along, and is no longer happy in your home, then if you actually love that dog, you will do what is best for the dog, and for some that will mean you find it a new home.
The OP has the perfect solution, re-homing with friends who have time and space for the dog. The dog will be better off and happier.

floraldreamer · 08/09/2025 12:29

steppemum · 08/09/2025 11:18

I am going to put my hard hat on and push back against some of these 'dog lovers'

if you say - I could never rehome my dog because he is part of the family and I love him so much.
Then you do not love your dog.
If you love a dog, you do what is best for the dog. What is best for the dog is not always staying with you, however much you love it.
It is selfish to think that you are the best thing for the dog when the circumstances have changed so that the dog is no longer happy.

If a dog is highly stressed when a baby comes along, and is no longer happy in your home, then if you actually love that dog, you will do what is best for the dog, and for some that will mean you find it a new home.
The OP has the perfect solution, re-homing with friends who have time and space for the dog. The dog will be better off and happier.

By that theory, what would be best for the dog would be not getting a dog when you arent sure your lifestyle wont dictate that you might have to get rid of it when something changes.

raspberryberet7 · 08/09/2025 12:33

Hoppinggreen · 08/09/2025 08:49

Its good you put him first in the end but I will not give you a pat on the head for it
Rehoming a dog because you have had a baby is shitty

This I think it’s shit tbh you could make space

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:41

LandSharksAnonymous · 08/09/2025 08:46

I’m really sorry you had to go through this, and it’s good you put your dog first.

But you need to give him a clean break now to build a bond - and a life - with new people, without you encroaching on it. You’ve already said he’s ‘nervous’ in his new home and he’s not going to settle if you’re constantly seeing him or having him. I think it would be incredibly cruel to have him for a week in less than a month, and it will confuse him and stress him a lot.

I’m sorry, but you’ve made your choice now - you have to stick with, and not make things worse for the dog you got rid of or, indeed, the one you chose to keep.

Agree with this!!!!
Youve done the best thing for your dog, and your household. It’s tough.
I agree with cutting all ties and just getting a picture update will help you know that he is in a good home.

Good luck.

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:43

raspberryberet7 · 08/09/2025 12:33

This I think it’s shit tbh you could make space

How do you suggest she makes space????

knock walls down?
move?

you’ve not read the post.

Things happen in life…. Things we sometimes can’t control.

give the poor woman some slack, she feels guilty enough as it is

what’s wrong with people nowadays- no empathy!

PauliesWalnuts · 08/09/2025 12:44

Jesus, I’m not a fan over the much overused “be kind” trope but there are a lot of nasty people on this thread. The OP’s already giving herself a bad time over it, and you lot can’t wait to take your turn twisting the knife. You should be utterly ashamed of yourselves.

raspberryberet7 · 08/09/2025 12:44

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:43

How do you suggest she makes space????

knock walls down?
move?

you’ve not read the post.

Things happen in life…. Things we sometimes can’t control.

give the poor woman some slack, she feels guilty enough as it is

what’s wrong with people nowadays- no empathy!

I have empathy for the dog. If her flat is so tiny with no private garden why get two dogs in the first place??? Especially if you’re planning children

CinderellaFant · 08/09/2025 12:45

you cannot start the post saying that not many people understand the love you have for your dog then go on to say that you rehomed him for no other reason than he was too big! What are you going to do when your child grows up, because children and teenagers take up a lot of room! You’ll be tripping over toys and shoes.

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:45

floraldreamer · 08/09/2025 12:29

By that theory, what would be best for the dog would be not getting a dog when you arent sure your lifestyle wont dictate that you might have to get rid of it when something changes.

What about if something happens to the whole family….. no one to look after the dog.

come on you are being so unreasonable!

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 08/09/2025 12:47

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:43

How do you suggest she makes space????

knock walls down?
move?

you’ve not read the post.

Things happen in life…. Things we sometimes can’t control.

give the poor woman some slack, she feels guilty enough as it is

what’s wrong with people nowadays- no empathy!

Things happen that we can't control? She actively tried for that baby! It was IVF! Hardly a contraception failure.

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:48

raspberryberet7 · 08/09/2025 12:44

I have empathy for the dog. If her flat is so tiny with no private garden why get two dogs in the first place??? Especially if you’re planning children

If you read the post, she says they’d bought the flat after having two dogs. Due to cost that’s all they can afford.

from what you’re saying is no one ever can ever do anything because you don’t know where you’ll be in 10years time. So silly.

pinkdelight · 08/09/2025 12:48

Even without the baby, a big dog in a small London flat with no direct garden access was never gonna be a great situation. We all know living in London is expensive so most of us can't afford big homes and gardens but knowing that, why get a big dog (and another small one as well)? This situation was created when you choose the flat over a bigger place further out, or indeed when you chose a large breed from the rescue in the first place. Sure, none of us knows the future, but when other lives are involved, it's wise to think with your head and stick with one small dog if you're not likely to afford a big enough home for more.

pinkdelight · 08/09/2025 12:51

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:48

If you read the post, she says they’d bought the flat after having two dogs. Due to cost that’s all they can afford.

from what you’re saying is no one ever can ever do anything because you don’t know where you’ll be in 10years time. So silly.

x-posted but I disagree with your point and think @raspberryberet7 was valid. They would've known the kind of home they could afford when they got two dogs and should have factored that in. No one in London is suddenly surprised that they can't afford a house and garden fit for 2 dogs (and a planned baby).