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Rehomed our dog, so so sad

263 replies

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 08:30

I just need to talk, not many people understand the love you have for your dog. We sadly rehomed one of our dogs on Saturday. For no other reason really other than he’s just too big (35kg), he’s a rescue and we’ve had him 4 years. We had a baby in January and the space has just decreased month by month as baby starts to crawl etc. We have another much smaller dog and thought about rehoming her too but chose the big dog in the end as he just seemed to never have space to lie anywhere comfortably. I now regret so much moving into this place, we bought when inflation rates were sky high two years ago which meant we had limited choices on where to buy, our budget was so limited and we live in the suburbs of london so it’s quite expensive. It’s really just a flat with a non direct access garden, we managed quite well until the baby was born and it has just become so difficult space wise recently. Our big dog would just squeeze into any area he could (he’s not into his bed) so I’d constantly be tripping over him with the baby. He was becoming jumpy/ nervous as I was constantly saying things like ‘move’ or accidentally bumping the high chair off him.

Our friends have taken him for a two week trial, although I think they will keep him for good and the term ‘trial’ was more to soften the blow for us. They have more time and much more space, they live closer to countryside but less than a 1.5 hour drive away so we can still see him. He’s a bit nervous in their home but is gradually starting to relax more they’ve said.

We have agreed to take him back for a week end of October as they are going away so it’s good we’ll see him. I am slightly worried that could unsettle him (and us) though.

I’m heartbroken beyond belief and if I had have know I’d feel this bad, I don’t think I would have done it, I felt sort of ok with the idea up until we actually left him. Part of me thought we wouldn’t go through with it. I regret so much moving to a small home, tbh we knew it was small but got a good price at the time when we were struggling to find somewhere, we also thought a baby wouldn’t happen as we needed IVF but luckily it happened very quickly. We sort told ourselves, we’ll manage at the time, and sell in a few years when we grow out of it but it’s been 1.5 years exactly since we’ve moved in and I don’t see us moving to a bigger space at least for 3-4 years. I just feel stupid and guilty that we didn’t consider things a bit more, we probably could have looked harder or moved slightly further out back then, we knew a baby was on the cards so shame on us for not planing a better move at the time. He’s such a perfect dog and I miss him so much. Part of me wants them to call us and say this isn’t working, take your dog back so then I wouldn’t have to make this awful decision. I know that would be silly, they’ll have more time for walks, attention and stimulation. I have barely pet the dogs since the baby was born and I feel so bad about that.

OP posts:
TabbaMac · 08/09/2025 13:19

Will you be giving your baby away when it gets too big? Also, do NOT have your dog back for a bit to make you feel better; it'll traumatise and confuse him beyond measure. As someone who had a baby, big dog, and several cats all at the same time, you let your already-rescued dog down.

VioletBramble · 08/09/2025 13:22

Muffinmam · 08/09/2025 13:10

This is for the best.

I wouldn’t have any dog around a baby.

So why aren't you telling her to get rid of the small dog then?

candycane222 · 08/09/2025 13:22

Hoppinggreen · 08/09/2025 08:49

Its good you put him first in the end but I will not give you a pat on the head for it
Rehoming a dog because you have had a baby is shitty

She hasn't rehomed the dog because she had a baby. She's rehomed the sog because her house became too small (and unsurprisingly, her friends did not offer to take the baby 🙄)

Dissappearedupmyownarse · 08/09/2025 13:23

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 08:30

I just need to talk, not many people understand the love you have for your dog. We sadly rehomed one of our dogs on Saturday. For no other reason really other than he’s just too big (35kg), he’s a rescue and we’ve had him 4 years. We had a baby in January and the space has just decreased month by month as baby starts to crawl etc. We have another much smaller dog and thought about rehoming her too but chose the big dog in the end as he just seemed to never have space to lie anywhere comfortably. I now regret so much moving into this place, we bought when inflation rates were sky high two years ago which meant we had limited choices on where to buy, our budget was so limited and we live in the suburbs of london so it’s quite expensive. It’s really just a flat with a non direct access garden, we managed quite well until the baby was born and it has just become so difficult space wise recently. Our big dog would just squeeze into any area he could (he’s not into his bed) so I’d constantly be tripping over him with the baby. He was becoming jumpy/ nervous as I was constantly saying things like ‘move’ or accidentally bumping the high chair off him.

Our friends have taken him for a two week trial, although I think they will keep him for good and the term ‘trial’ was more to soften the blow for us. They have more time and much more space, they live closer to countryside but less than a 1.5 hour drive away so we can still see him. He’s a bit nervous in their home but is gradually starting to relax more they’ve said.

We have agreed to take him back for a week end of October as they are going away so it’s good we’ll see him. I am slightly worried that could unsettle him (and us) though.

I’m heartbroken beyond belief and if I had have know I’d feel this bad, I don’t think I would have done it, I felt sort of ok with the idea up until we actually left him. Part of me thought we wouldn’t go through with it. I regret so much moving to a small home, tbh we knew it was small but got a good price at the time when we were struggling to find somewhere, we also thought a baby wouldn’t happen as we needed IVF but luckily it happened very quickly. We sort told ourselves, we’ll manage at the time, and sell in a few years when we grow out of it but it’s been 1.5 years exactly since we’ve moved in and I don’t see us moving to a bigger space at least for 3-4 years. I just feel stupid and guilty that we didn’t consider things a bit more, we probably could have looked harder or moved slightly further out back then, we knew a baby was on the cards so shame on us for not planing a better move at the time. He’s such a perfect dog and I miss him so much. Part of me wants them to call us and say this isn’t working, take your dog back so then I wouldn’t have to make this awful decision. I know that would be silly, they’ll have more time for walks, attention and stimulation. I have barely pet the dogs since the baby was born and I feel so bad about that.

I agree with everyone who has said that it sounds as though you made the right decision by him but dont confuse matters by having him back at your house as this is for your benefit, not his!
I have a 1yr old baby and I would never ever have imagined I could give up any of my pets before I had my baby. It does change your perspective and outlook on everything including your pets. It doesn't mean you dont love them anymore, its just that your priorities change and you're stretched emotionally and physically beyond imaginable with a newborn. Something has to give especially if you dont have support network around you xx

MomsGotInk · 08/09/2025 13:25

Pibrea · 08/09/2025 13:05

Everyone will flame you for re-homing him but the stupid decision was getting him in the first place. Why would you get a massive dog when you don’t know whether you’ll have space or when you’re considering a baby? I’d love a pet but my lifestyle isn’t right at the moment so I’m waiting a few years until I’m more settled.

Yea gotta agree with this, not really a set up suitable for 2 dogs especially if one is huge.

Bloodyscarymary · 08/09/2025 13:25

I think you have done the right thing and he is safe and happy with your friends. I don’t agree AT ALL with posters saying you shouldn’t see him or have him over as he will get “confused” - I think it will be much better for him to see you often and know you are still around and love him, he just has a different house now. Dogs are smarter than we think and I think a more gradual changing of the guard is better than all at once! If he sees you and you let him know he is safe and loved and that you see the people he is with now as “safe” people, then I think this will help a lot. It sounds like he will have a great time and be much happier eventually. It’s okay, a dog is not a child and you are on irresponsible if you don’t take responsibility! You haven’t abandoned your dog to the streets, you have found him a wonderful home with people you know!

Our neighbours started looking after the dog they have now under a similar arrangement, just “dog sitting temporarily” for a friend during covid as she was finding WFH plus kids and dog unmanageable - their dog would go back to hers every now and again but keep returning to my neighbours, she would visit the dog at theirs - now doggo is permanently their’s and is the happiest dog ever! Absolutely no negative impacts and she is living a great life full of attention.

zanahoria · 08/09/2025 13:26

It sounds like you have found a good home for him

I hope he is happy there

StarDolphins · 08/09/2025 13:28

Soontobesingles · 08/09/2025 13:12

lol. You think humans should not procreate if they have pets? This is mad and unrealistic!

I’m embarrassed for you. That is not what the quoted poster said and you know this.

AllrightNowBaby · 08/09/2025 13:28

You did the right thing Op ❤️
Which is what I told a friend whose circumstances had changed.
She knows what a big dog lover I am and said she was scared to tell me what she’d had to do.
I told her she was a hero for putting the welfare of her Ddog first, even though she adored him and would’ve loved to have kept him.

itsoktonotbeokitstrue · 08/09/2025 13:28

My dog is not my child, but when you love them you treat them no different. From the view point that you give them shelter, food, clean living conditions and love. I don’t think anyone actually believes their dog is their “child”, but there is a deep bond formed which goes both ways.
If I moved I would consider the needs of my whole family including the animals. They are not disposable and based on ops reasoning is not a valid reason to “get rid” of a dog.
life can be hard but you don’t chuck family away and dogs are definitely family.

EasySqueezy · 08/09/2025 13:29

Hoppinggreen · 08/09/2025 08:49

Its good you put him first in the end but I will not give you a pat on the head for it
Rehoming a dog because you have had a baby is shitty

Really unhelpful comment. Did it make you feel good?

Misshollys · 08/09/2025 13:29

I know you feel sad but believe everyone, you have done the best thing for your dog. We actually have a smaller dog but very excitable and active one who had to be rehomed for the exact same reason. She settled in no problem and is now called our precious princess, so dont worry about your dog, sometimes we have to make decisions we dont like but need to. 💖❤️

Bloodyscarymary · 08/09/2025 13:30

Regarding my comment above about a gradual changing of the guard - I have a dog who is well behaved with no separation anxiety and the approach I have always taken is to treat her like I would treat a human toddler. If you needed to give a human toddler away to another family, a “clean break” would be the opposite of what you would do. You would still visit and make sure they know they are loved and that they are safe in their new home. So this is the approach I would take for a dog as well.

DiscoBeat · 08/09/2025 13:30

I genuinely don't understand why you rehomed him in the first place - surely you knew you were going to live in a small place and have a baby?

KpopDemon · 08/09/2025 13:31

It sounds very hard. I think your dog will be completely miserable if you bring him back home for a week just as he’s starting to get used to his new home. The idea of that breaks my heart more than the idea of you being forced to give him up

Makeupmakeup1991 · 08/09/2025 13:34

We did similar with a cat when dd was a few months old. Our lovely elderly cat didn't cope with the new arrival. She was stressed and spent most of her time outside or hiding in the house. We ended up rehoming her to mil and Our cat lived her final years in peace being spoilt by mil ( dh used to joke she loved the cat more then her lol) Rehoming isn't always the evil it's made out to be

Springtimehere · 08/09/2025 13:34

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Beachtastic · 08/09/2025 13:35

BellaCriesAndThatsAlright · 08/09/2025 09:49

People are really weird about dogs on here...

You have done the right thing OP

I can just imagine if OP had kept the dog and then had to post about the trip hazard and cramped conditions trying to look after baby. That would also go down like a lead balloon!

Sounds as though the dog has a great future ahead. But I think PPs are right about not disrupting him again with visits to your home, OP.

Bloodyscarymary · 08/09/2025 13:36

KpopDemon · 08/09/2025 13:31

It sounds very hard. I think your dog will be completely miserable if you bring him back home for a week just as he’s starting to get used to his new home. The idea of that breaks my heart more than the idea of you being forced to give him up

I don’t agree at all and I think they should even do this long term. They can agree to take the dog for future holidays so he continues to have little holidays with his old family. My opinion is based on my experience with my own dog who has a few much loved dog sitters, she remembers them all and loves to spend time with them.

Whichhandbag · 08/09/2025 13:37

Oof the crazies are out. You made a stupid decision getting a large dog in a small home - irresponsible. But you are absolutely correct to prioritise your baby over your dog.

Mumsnet comes down so hard on people who prioritise anything over their kids....except dogs. Utter madness.

PinkStinkStinkPink · 08/09/2025 13:38

Good job you can’t re-home babies like you can dogs. I won’t give you a pat on the back either or say it’s ok because it’s not. The poor dog is a rescue dog and you state he’s become jumpy/nervous because you constantly tell him to move or accidentally (convenient choice of word there) bumping the high chair off him. Shame on you! You have probably created more problems for this dog. Clearly dogs are not part of the family in your household. You do not deserve the dog and the dog does not deserve your callous treatment. Return him to the rescue he came from!

Ontheedgeofit · 08/09/2025 13:40

You’ve done the right thing OP for everyone concerned.

I disagree that you shouldn’t bring him back into your home. People are crazy. Well socialized dogs do very well in many environments and even so, I would rather he come to you (a familiar space) than go to a kennel while his owners are on holiday. Dogs are cool. They don’t hold judgement.

pinkdelight · 08/09/2025 13:43

She hasn't rehomed the dog because she had a baby. She's rehomed the sog because her house became too small

Well that makes no sense because the reason it 'became too small' is entirely because she had a baby.

However her house - flat in fact - was always too small by the sounds of it, like others you see in London with not enough space for their big dogs. This was foreseeable and avoidable.

BeeDavis · 08/09/2025 13:44

So you not only got a dog in the first place, but he was a rescue!!! And now you’re given him up.. the poor poor dog will be wondering what he’s doing so wrong to not be wanted by people who should be able to commit to him for his life. Do not ever get a dog again.

BlossomOfOrange · 08/09/2025 13:46

Bloodyscarymary · 08/09/2025 13:25

I think you have done the right thing and he is safe and happy with your friends. I don’t agree AT ALL with posters saying you shouldn’t see him or have him over as he will get “confused” - I think it will be much better for him to see you often and know you are still around and love him, he just has a different house now. Dogs are smarter than we think and I think a more gradual changing of the guard is better than all at once! If he sees you and you let him know he is safe and loved and that you see the people he is with now as “safe” people, then I think this will help a lot. It sounds like he will have a great time and be much happier eventually. It’s okay, a dog is not a child and you are on irresponsible if you don’t take responsibility! You haven’t abandoned your dog to the streets, you have found him a wonderful home with people you know!

Our neighbours started looking after the dog they have now under a similar arrangement, just “dog sitting temporarily” for a friend during covid as she was finding WFH plus kids and dog unmanageable - their dog would go back to hers every now and again but keep returning to my neighbours, she would visit the dog at theirs - now doggo is permanently their’s and is the happiest dog ever! Absolutely no negative impacts and she is living a great life full of attention.

OP this sounds like a good approach/success story to learn from