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Rehomed our dog, so so sad

263 replies

Loonaandalf · 08/09/2025 08:30

I just need to talk, not many people understand the love you have for your dog. We sadly rehomed one of our dogs on Saturday. For no other reason really other than he’s just too big (35kg), he’s a rescue and we’ve had him 4 years. We had a baby in January and the space has just decreased month by month as baby starts to crawl etc. We have another much smaller dog and thought about rehoming her too but chose the big dog in the end as he just seemed to never have space to lie anywhere comfortably. I now regret so much moving into this place, we bought when inflation rates were sky high two years ago which meant we had limited choices on where to buy, our budget was so limited and we live in the suburbs of london so it’s quite expensive. It’s really just a flat with a non direct access garden, we managed quite well until the baby was born and it has just become so difficult space wise recently. Our big dog would just squeeze into any area he could (he’s not into his bed) so I’d constantly be tripping over him with the baby. He was becoming jumpy/ nervous as I was constantly saying things like ‘move’ or accidentally bumping the high chair off him.

Our friends have taken him for a two week trial, although I think they will keep him for good and the term ‘trial’ was more to soften the blow for us. They have more time and much more space, they live closer to countryside but less than a 1.5 hour drive away so we can still see him. He’s a bit nervous in their home but is gradually starting to relax more they’ve said.

We have agreed to take him back for a week end of October as they are going away so it’s good we’ll see him. I am slightly worried that could unsettle him (and us) though.

I’m heartbroken beyond belief and if I had have know I’d feel this bad, I don’t think I would have done it, I felt sort of ok with the idea up until we actually left him. Part of me thought we wouldn’t go through with it. I regret so much moving to a small home, tbh we knew it was small but got a good price at the time when we were struggling to find somewhere, we also thought a baby wouldn’t happen as we needed IVF but luckily it happened very quickly. We sort told ourselves, we’ll manage at the time, and sell in a few years when we grow out of it but it’s been 1.5 years exactly since we’ve moved in and I don’t see us moving to a bigger space at least for 3-4 years. I just feel stupid and guilty that we didn’t consider things a bit more, we probably could have looked harder or moved slightly further out back then, we knew a baby was on the cards so shame on us for not planing a better move at the time. He’s such a perfect dog and I miss him so much. Part of me wants them to call us and say this isn’t working, take your dog back so then I wouldn’t have to make this awful decision. I know that would be silly, they’ll have more time for walks, attention and stimulation. I have barely pet the dogs since the baby was born and I feel so bad about that.

OP posts:
Janus · 08/09/2025 12:52

One of our dogs is a rehome from someone who had a terrible split with her husband and two weeks later discovered she was pregnant. She didn’t know how the dog would cope as she would have to go back to work full time to support the baby. She was so lovely and so totally heartbroken too. We stayed in touch for the first about 6 or 7 years!! She got photos and told about his life. She did it for all the right reasons, he’d never been on his own for a whole day and he would have hated it. He came here and has another dog friend too! Once she was coming near the area and she asked if we could meet up. I didn’t reply for 24 hours as I was so terrified he’d see her and remember her and wonder what happened. She messaged the next day and said it wasn’t a good idea for that exact reason. She loved him, she wanted to see him for her but realised that’s not what would have been good for him.
If you continue with this, please don’t have him back. He will be so god damn confused by this and to then be ‘given up’ again. The new owners have to find alternative arrangements, you may even have to go halves on the cost, it is what he deserves.

CarpenterSabrina · 08/09/2025 12:52

Sodastreamin · 08/09/2025 09:44

You cannot just rehome a dog because he’s in your bloody way! Wow. I hope he’s happier where he is. Dogs are part of your family. Would you rehome a child because they’ve grown? No you’d find a way to move to accommodate. Did you not consider space when you decided to have a baby? Poor thing

This. Sick of irresponsible dog owners.

IsSheOkayOrWhat · 08/09/2025 12:53

IneedtheeohIneedtheeeveryhourIneedthee · 08/09/2025 12:47

Things happen that we can't control? She actively tried for that baby! It was IVF! Hardly a contraception failure.

Have you ever had IVF? This poor woman has put her body and mental health under a lot of stress. You do know you can’t always get pregnant form IVF? This woman was lucky that it happened so quickly, and then once having a baby have you heard of depression??? You have no idea what someone is going through with changes to their lifestyle.

I have a child & 2 dogs…. I can speak from experience.

I think she knows she’s done something that in many people’s eyes is not nice, a dog is for life but Frick me things change and so if she can look after herself, her child, partner and 1dog a bit better than so be it.

AngryBird6122 · 08/09/2025 12:57

CarpenterSabrina · 08/09/2025 12:52

This. Sick of irresponsible dog owners.

Is it not better he has a new home if she is an 'irresponsible owner' rather than her keeping him?

Sunshineandoranges · 08/09/2025 12:58

Hoppinggreen · 08/09/2025 08:49

Its good you put him first in the end but I will not give you a pat on the head for it
Rehoming a dog because you have had a baby is shitty

That is a mean horrible thing to say. The poster showed her love for her dog by rehoming him. That was the kind thing to do..for the dog, not herself.

gotmyknickersinatwist · 08/09/2025 12:59

@Loonaandalf instead of taking the dog back to your place in October- which, as many have said, would be confusing and unsettling for the dog - would it be an option for you & family to stay at your friends' place?
Dog knows you and should be very comfortable in his new home by then. It would be better than putting him in kennels.

Amethystmama · 08/09/2025 13:00

We rehomed one of our dogs almost a year ago. We struggled few years, trying every other option, but I remember reading the worst thing you can do is hold on knowing you’re not giving your dog the life they deserve. Both our dogs are so much happier now (one still with us), but I agree a clean break is best otherwise it’s too confusing for the dog.

PiggyPigalle · 08/09/2025 13:04

Your property doesn't sound suitable for dogs. A dog needs direct access to a garden. They love nothing more than going outside to explore and popping back in for fear of missing something.

Pibrea · 08/09/2025 13:05

Everyone will flame you for re-homing him but the stupid decision was getting him in the first place. Why would you get a massive dog when you don’t know whether you’ll have space or when you’re considering a baby? I’d love a pet but my lifestyle isn’t right at the moment so I’m waiting a few years until I’m more settled.

StarDolphins · 08/09/2025 13:07

This is just so wrong. That poor dog being turfed out of its home with its family. Please don’t ever get another pet. Makes me so sad that people aren’t responsible where animals are concerned.

YourBrickTiger · 08/09/2025 13:08

Absolutely no sympathy from me. It's a shitty thing that you have done. You took him on and he got bigger (shocker) and you had a baby. Now he's too much trouble for you. Pets are for LIFE. I'm glad he's found a forever home now.

YourBrickTiger · 08/09/2025 13:09

StarDolphins · 08/09/2025 13:07

This is just so wrong. That poor dog being turfed out of its home with its family. Please don’t ever get another pet. Makes me so sad that people aren’t responsible where animals are concerned.

This. Makes me madder than hot hell when people have babies after committing to a pet and now the pet has to go. So irresponsible. I hope he never has to see you again. He deserves better.

FarriersGirl · 08/09/2025 13:10

I adopted my lovely dog in similar circumstances 4 years ago. He was loved but a young family did not have the time or space for him. It took a while for him to settle but he has flourished in his new home. I have a big garden, countryside on the doorstep and plenty of time to spend with him. It sounds like the right decision for your dog and hopefully he will have a wonderful life and you will have done your best for him.

Muffinmam · 08/09/2025 13:10

This is for the best.

I wouldn’t have any dog around a baby.

Soontobesingles · 08/09/2025 13:11

steppemum · 08/09/2025 11:18

I am going to put my hard hat on and push back against some of these 'dog lovers'

if you say - I could never rehome my dog because he is part of the family and I love him so much.
Then you do not love your dog.
If you love a dog, you do what is best for the dog. What is best for the dog is not always staying with you, however much you love it.
It is selfish to think that you are the best thing for the dog when the circumstances have changed so that the dog is no longer happy.

If a dog is highly stressed when a baby comes along, and is no longer happy in your home, then if you actually love that dog, you will do what is best for the dog, and for some that will mean you find it a new home.
The OP has the perfect solution, re-homing with friends who have time and space for the dog. The dog will be better off and happier.

This. I loved my dog to bits but when baby came she was so stressed it was horrible to see. She also growled and snapped at the baby - as well as being yappy and on edge the whole time. It was not fair to keep a dog in those circumstances in a small flat. It was also dangerous to my child and had DD been bitten the dog would have been put down. So, there are times when you do have to put your child ahead of an animal, however much you love the animal.

miniaturepixieonacid · 08/09/2025 13:11

I'm torn. Most of think that, as it's a trial, I'd take him back and make adjustments to your lifestyle (eg commit to taking both dogs for long walks whatever the weather, keep reminding yourself to speak gently to the dog if it's in your way etec). As long as they get enough outdoor exercise, I'm not sure dogs need their indoor space to be big. They don't seem to move around all that much inside (no cat zoomies).

However, I can also see that the way you describe your friend's lifestyle sounds preferable for a dog. If the dog hadn't already bonded with you and been in your family for 4 years, I'd say he'd definitely be better off with the other family. But he is already a part of your family. He'll miss you and your other dog and I'm not sure that country living and more space can make up for that.

I do know that dogs aren't children, of course. But we can all think of people who live better lifestyles than our own that our children would be 'better off' and 'happier' with. Except they wouldn't of course because they're not us. Dogs don't love and bond like children but they do love and bond. They cope with being rehomed but I don't know if they're ever as happy as they would have been otherwise (unless they're being abused and not loved, of course!)

Soontobesingles · 08/09/2025 13:12

YourBrickTiger · 08/09/2025 13:09

This. Makes me madder than hot hell when people have babies after committing to a pet and now the pet has to go. So irresponsible. I hope he never has to see you again. He deserves better.

lol. You think humans should not procreate if they have pets? This is mad and unrealistic!

AlaKart · 08/09/2025 13:12

Well done OP for taking the right decision.
It is difficult to understand the mentality of some here who are determined to give you a hard time. It was your problem and you solved it. Be proud of putting your child first and not dithering and faffing like some do..
Best wishes

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 08/09/2025 13:13

I agree with lots of the posters here tbh. It is stupid and short sighted to get a massive dog when you aren’t settled in a ‘forever home’ (or close enough) and may have to move to somewhere smaller and if you haven’t finished your family and are going to try for a baby. Sure, life happens and you don’t always know where you will end up, but some situations are avoidable, and this seems like it might be one of them. A dog is a 12ish (sometimes more) commitment that you have to be sure you are willing to make and to factor into your decisions. It doesn’t sound like you did that.

FenellaFeldman · 08/09/2025 13:13

Sodastreamin · 08/09/2025 09:48

Exactly @CaroleLandisthe little dog will be essentially grieving his friend. I think some people consider dogs as ornaments or soft toys that eat, drink, wee & poo. They have feelings and emotions.

I think that's true. Also, dog ownership has grown and people got dogs who didn't really think about it long term. I know 2 people who rehomed their dogs when they had babies

whynotwhatknot · 08/09/2025 13:15

i dont think you shojld visit them sorry it will be too confusing for the dog

StarDolphins · 08/09/2025 13:15

YourBrickTiger · 08/09/2025 13:09

This. Makes me madder than hot hell when people have babies after committing to a pet and now the pet has to go. So irresponsible. I hope he never has to see you again. He deserves better.

Absolutely he does deserve better. My dog came from a family where the woman was pregnant and therefore out with the dog. I’ve had him for 12 years now & had a baby within that time. Not once did it even cross my mind that he would be rehomed. I took him on and committed to him for his entire life. Animals are just so disposable these days. I wish people would only get pets ‘til death do us part or serious illness.

21ZIGGY · 08/09/2025 13:16

Mauro711 · 08/09/2025 09:51

You mean because people take their wellbeing seriously. Yea, super weird!

She has took his well being seriously. She didnt have the time or space for him anymore so found him people to take care of him who do. It would be selfish to keep him.

Arlingtonchase · 08/09/2025 13:18

Having the dog back for a week would be very cruel. He would think he was back "home" at last, only to get sent away again. How could he possibly understand?

If you want to help the friends who have now got him, you might have to offer to pay for kennels while they’re away.

Springisintheairohyeah · 08/09/2025 13:18

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 08/09/2025 13:13

I agree with lots of the posters here tbh. It is stupid and short sighted to get a massive dog when you aren’t settled in a ‘forever home’ (or close enough) and may have to move to somewhere smaller and if you haven’t finished your family and are going to try for a baby. Sure, life happens and you don’t always know where you will end up, but some situations are avoidable, and this seems like it might be one of them. A dog is a 12ish (sometimes more) commitment that you have to be sure you are willing to make and to factor into your decisions. It doesn’t sound like you did that.

Completely agree. Owning a dog is a privilege, not a right. Many people, including myself, wait years for their circumstances to be right. I have the utmost sympathy for anyone who finds themselves having to rehome for genuinely unforeseen reasons. This isn't that. You must have had at least some sense of where life was going to take you, and considering that, there were numerous options along the way which included not getting a second dog, and definitely not getting a big second dog. You've done the right thing now, but I'm afraid I have little sympathy as this situation was entirely of your own making, and entirely avoidable. If the violins are out for this is really makes the statement "a dog is for life" utterly meaningless