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Original poster

If you have more than one child, how do you manage to…

203 replies

brownbutterfrangipanetart · 15/12/2023 13:47

if you have more than one child - both young eg toddler and newborn, do you manage to make time for the following and if so, how?

-keep up an exercise regime (not just walking, 3x 30 min home workouts for example)

-hobbies/self care like baths, reading etc

Right now I have a 4 month baby and am managing the above when my husband looks after baby and vice versa. Just wondering how it works with 2 little ones!

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Summerpeachblossom · 17/12/2023 19:13

There was no time for those things.... well, there probably was, but I was too exhausted to do them / other things like chores, cooking etc. seemed more pressing. I now have a 4 year old and a 2 year old and have just, in the last 3 or 4 months, felt able to go to the gym 3x a week, make time for reading etc. Honestly, I was not prepared for hos hard having two little kids would be. I feel like we're coming out the other side now though and starting to get our lives back a bit.

Christmassss · 17/12/2023 19:13

My DC are grown up now but I used to belong to a health club with a crèche and put both DC in there three times a week and do a workout/swim/sauna etc. Then the toddler went to nursery two afternoons a week and I’d maybe do the food shop with the baby or just come home and catch up a bit. When the baby was 6 months he went to nursery one afternoon per week and then I would do something with the toddler.
We did a couple of toddler groups too but I found these hard work.
My DC were really good sleepers so I got the evening to myself to have a nice bath/watch TV etc.

Lifetooshort23 · 17/12/2023 19:27

I have 3 aged 5 and under and self care is pretty much non existent.
I prioritise exercise as I need/want to lose weight (2.5 stone gone this year, could do with up to another 2 stone tbh!) and I want to be fit for my kids too…
my New Year’s resolution for 2023 was to make sure I do a face mask once a week and brush my teeth EVERY night.
ive done 3 face masks this year. I do brush my teeth most nights now but sometimes I’m just too exhausted.
currently exercise is lapsing as I’m just exhausting and finding it physically hard because of that - I buggy run predominantly as exercise so one or two children come with me in running buggy and sometimes eldest cycles alongside me.
rarely bath - if I do it’s usually with a child so not a lovely relaxing one! Quick showers, rarely wash hair but thankfully I get away with that a lot. Read before bed but hasn’t happened much lately!
i get little to no time to myself. It is what it is!

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T0rt0ise · 17/12/2023 19:28

I have a 2yo and 3yo. When the oldest was little it was online workouts incorporating him (either in the sling or as a weight/on the floor next to me) and then once he hit 6 months is was running buggy and he came with me. With the youngest, again running buggy with both as soon as she hit 6 months and then running on my own (well with the dog) at 6am whilst my husband looks after them (he climbs on a Tuesday night whilst I deal with both). On the weekend I'll also do a long run on Saturday morning and then he gets time to himself when I take them swimming on a Sunday morning.

We also do mountain biking and hiking with the kids in tow.

In terms of long baths/reading, that's once they're in bed or with them!

If you've got a supportive partner, none of these things should be difficult, it's just a case of each of you getting your fair share and neither taking the piss.

Original poster
brownbutterfrangipanetart · 17/12/2023 19:29

gm2023 · 17/12/2023 19:09

I just walked everywhere I could when mine were both small. Easily clocked up 15-20k steps a day. Now they are 2 and 7, I walk less but I’ve managed to do Couch to 5k recently by using my lunch breaks at work. This is also when I do things like listen to music, podcasts and audiobooks.

My husband will also look after the children happily but quite frankly I work full time and don’t see them as much as I want as it is so I’ve been reluctant to nip out in the evenings regularly. (I do go out to see friends though - I just don’t have any regular evening commitments!) They’re not usually both asleep until 8:30 and I don’t tend to fancy doing much then. I’m out of the habit of baths but I could go in every night around then if I wanted to.

I want to be fitter and happier so I’m starting a running group in the new year at 6:30 pm twice a week. I’ll do a longer run at the weekend too (probably first thing in the morning) or possibly in one of my work lunch breaks. My husband will have them while I do this. (He plans to join the gym and go swimming in return, which we will manage through a mixture of early mornings, evenings and weekends.)

We have no family help so I have been making lunchtimes count as much as possible while mine are at school/childcare. I can WFH regularly and usually do 3 days at home, which are my exercise days.

I also hope to be able to wfh a few days a week when I return to work so I can utilise lunch break this way, seems a good time to get some ‘me time’!

OP posts:
Havana2345 · 17/12/2023 19:32

Can you get 20 mins workout in whilst kids are eating? My boy takes bloody ages to eat anything 😆 he gives me time to do a HIIT or something whilst he's having a munch.

Beachwaves127 · 17/12/2023 19:38

Your baby is four months. Many things are impossible. I found when my baby was 9 months I found my rhythm again

Original poster
brownbutterfrangipanetart · 17/12/2023 19:42

@Havana2345 baby is only 4 months so not eating yet but an idea for the future!

@Lifetooshort23 i have similar resolutions as you - around dental regime and showering, face masks etc. like you, im also wanting to prioritise exercise (and diet) as I have a family history of diabetes

OP posts:
BohemondofAntioch · 17/12/2023 19:43

KCSIE · 17/12/2023 18:13

I have a 7m old and a 3yo. My DH is away a lot and has recently been away for 3 weeks. I have no family support nearby so it's just me and my little people quite often.

Exercise - online. I do Pilates or Yoga online during baby nap time, my 3yo plays with Duplo/playdoh/playset or joins in.

Exercise - YouTube. My 3yo loves dancing so I put on some Zumba kids videos and we dance our socks off. Sometimes during baby nap, sometimes baby in bouncer chair watching, sometimes with baby in the sling.

Self care - I shower every night before I go to bed, while both babies are asleep. Take the baby monitor and I can see if I need to speed up if baby is stirring.

Reading - on my kindle whilst breastfeeding the baby. Or in bed before sleep.

Hobbies - involve my 3yo. I love sewing. Made an outfit for my 3yo and they helped choose fabric and cut the pattern out. They sat 'sewing' next to me while I used sewing machine while baby was napping. Music - I play an instrument and whilst going to my orchestra group is currently on hold, I get my instruments out at home and play nursery rhymes on request 😂 I also take my kids to classes and groups that tie in with my hobbies so we go dancing and to a music one, too.

Cooking- meal plan based around activities noted above. Some days will be speedy pasta dinner days, some will be chuck it in the slow cooker says, some days will be get the 3yo to make it with me days. All while baby is either napping, in the bouncer chair (or in highchair in the kitchen with a wooden spoon these days) or playing on the mat in sight.

Essentially - maximise use of nap times and involve the eldest to get sh*t done.

Eat dinner with them both at around 5/530, get them both to bed at the same time, quick clean up when both asleep in bed, then the evening for....hobbies or TV.

It's actually a lot easier to manage when DH is away because I know exactly what food is in the fridge and how.muxh washing is in the washing basket etc etc

This is brilliant. You could be a parenting coach.

Havana2345 · 17/12/2023 19:45

Baby wearing workout? I did that for a time when he was smaller

Canisaysomething · 17/12/2023 19:49

I definitely didn’t make time for all those things with 2 young children. But now they are both at school it’s a lot easier. I was mostly too knackered to have hobbies and exercise much before, it wasn’t a case of not having enough time. Just being too tired.

TheIsleOfTheLost · 17/12/2023 19:50

Nope, not a chance at that age. I suppose people who have children that sleep can do things while they nap, but mine didn't! There was one gym locally with childcare there, but couldn't justify the cost of booking in two children and paying for the class. Dp worked far away, so he either stayed there or got back late, so no respite there.

Things are a lot easier now. We walk to and from school on the days I take them. There is a gym near the office, so when I am not working from home I can go there at lunch time. They aren't tiny for long.

BohemondofAntioch · 17/12/2023 19:53

karpouzi · 17/12/2023 17:59

please tell me their secret cause if I stay past 10 pm I consider it success 😂

Probably a ton of marching powder.

Livingoncaffeine · 17/12/2023 19:55

I play netball once a week in the evening, DH puts both kids to bed that night. I do other online work outs during the day very occasionally but to be honest that will probably stop when Mat leave is over. I don’t wait until nap time though, I do them while baby is awake and playing on the floor.

I read during nap times occasionally and always before bed even if it’s just for five minutes.

I have a bath a couple of times a week once the kids are in bed and will read while in the bath!

But I’m guessing once I’m back at work things will get harder. That said we are looking at upping our cleaner from every other week to weekly which will help, and I will be going back four days a week.

Also we tend to do housework while the kids are still awake rather than leaving it until they go to sleep. Eldest DC will help clean and tidy or watch tv for a bit while we do. I know some people on this thread say they prioritise play which is great for them but for me I need my own adult time so I like to know that once the kids are down then the rest of the evening is mine to do as I please.

That said the kids have woken up three times since bedtime between them tonight so it doesn’t Always work like that

Benibidibici · 17/12/2023 19:56

To be honest i didn't fit in an exercise regime when they were babies and toddlers. I was working, i just didn't have the energy or time.

Now (both primary school age) I swim while they have swimming lessons. I do a gym session while they're at football with their dad.

1mabon · 17/12/2023 19:59

We had three sons in four years, happiest time of my life, returned to part time work when the youngest was 7 years of age.

Benibidibici · 17/12/2023 20:00

Oh and i got both mine riding proper bikes at age 4. This means we can go on bike rides as a family. Also i can go running and kids will cycle with me.

I prioritised swimming lessons too so that we can go to the pool together because i love swimming.

Humbugg · 17/12/2023 20:30

Have a 3 year old and newborn.

exercise is walking the pram around parks while toddler scooters

baths and reading I do when the children are both asleep

HMW1906 · 17/12/2023 20:35

I have a 3 year old and a 9 month old.…and a husband that works away Monday to late Thursday evening.

I basically have a window from around 8:30pm until I go to bed too have some me time…obviously I can’t leave the house as the kids are in bed.

I don’t go to the gym or anything (i probably wouldn’t be able to fit it in but I didn’t pre-baby) but to exercise we go for walks (double pram or 3 year old goes on his bike if we’re going somewhere away from roads).

Isthisit2 · 17/12/2023 20:36

I have three kids and they are older so 7,9 and 12. I don’t think it gets magically easier as kids gets older tbh , not for me anyway; higher workload -washing, cooking , activities have increased hugely for us. Also I was exhausted when they were small as they were all bad sleepers , two didn’t sleep for years but now im exhausted as im working more and im older (late 30’s) so feeling my age and way more with and school finished early , v limited childcare and no family support…
I work out 3 times week , maybe 4 but just swap with my husband all the time to do this so twice at weekend and twice in the week. I’m still as tired as when they were small though, different ages , different challenges.

Goinggreymammy · 17/12/2023 20:50

I had 3 under 5 a few years ago. Self care and exercise was non existent. Their dad wasn't always around due to work so there often just was nobody else to watch them. I always kept up reading.... had a kindle and got kindle app on my phone and read if there was a child sleeping on or beside me.
Not to be scaremongering, if you are planning on having more, beware of people talking about exercising on alternate evenings while the other parent does bedtime etc. My three children are now older, bedtimes are later so the few hours of child free time have reduced, and also they often have activities on in the earlier part of tge evening so one parent takes them to that while the other minds the other children and puts them to bed.

This all sounds a bit "woe is me" but I actually don't mind, I walk up and down the stairs enough every day to count that as exercise and i have never liked baths. I have to do admin, catch up on work stuff and other jobs after bed, so I do end up staying up far too late reading or watching TV. I incorporate my children into hobbies at the weekend, we go walking or hiking, I take them to family music sessions, we bake or read together.

Jimbobwimbob · 17/12/2023 20:50

Mine are 5 and 8 and I’ve only just started thinking about the above in the last year 😂

Loulou560 · 17/12/2023 20:52

I have a 2 year old and 10 month old.
I have no time to exercise, but relax when the both children are in bed. I’m normally so tired though, I just end up watching telly and falling asleep soon after.
The only time I would get to do anything for myself, I end up cleaning or working.
I have a limited support network. I’ve lost my mother, and my father isn’t well, so I’ve got added pressure. I guess people with a support network may find some time.

naughtynine · 17/12/2023 20:54

I have three kids and they are older so 7,9 and 12. I don’t think it gets magically easier as kids gets older tbh , not for me anyway; higher workload -washing, cooking , activities have increased hugely for us.

I agree actually. I think as they get older they have more of a social life eg play dates, activities etc plus school demands increase which eats into your time! Plus I’ve found my career has ramped up as has DHs.

I’m also very conscious that once they are teenagers they won’t want to be with us so much 😭 so really value family time.

Loulou560 · 17/12/2023 21:09

I just realised after reading most replies, that it’s usually one parent (normally the mother and in some cases, the father) who ends up neglecting herself even if they’re part of a couple.
Ie. I feel guilty if I spend more than two minutes in the shower when DP has a long leisurely shower. I’ve also become a master of one minute make up (no exaggeration), my nails are never tidy, and I’ve completely neglected my skincare routine. All in all, I’m the bottom of the pile in our house, but it seems like most who’ve replied are also!