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Original poster

If you have more than one child, how do you manage to…

203 replies

brownbutterfrangipanetart · 15/12/2023 13:47

if you have more than one child - both young eg toddler and newborn, do you manage to make time for the following and if so, how?

-keep up an exercise regime (not just walking, 3x 30 min home workouts for example)

-hobbies/self care like baths, reading etc

Right now I have a 4 month baby and am managing the above when my husband looks after baby and vice versa. Just wondering how it works with 2 little ones!

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DontBuyANewMumCashmere · 15/12/2023 17:41

I'm so sorry as I haven't RTFT but can you jog? I used a jogger for my little ones when they were between around 8m and around 2.5y.
Both mine were shit sleepers so I wouldn't have been able to put them down for naps and been able to do workouts.
I also walked dogs regularly with little ones in a pushchair and the older one on a scooter etc.
This is extremely arduous and not exactly strenuous exercise!

Good luck OP

roarrfeckingroar · 15/12/2023 18:05

Childcare.

My experience is that baby number 2 seems so easy compared to the first / the now toddler that the couple of days per week that I have just the baby are dreamy. She goes to the crèche at my gym and I walk / read when she's sleeping. We nap together most afternoons. It's wonderful.

Original poster
brownbutterfrangipanetart · 15/12/2023 20:03

Some good ideas here, especially gym with crèche!

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LinguisticallyCunning · 15/12/2023 20:21

I didn't bother trying to keep fit but that's just me. If I felt like walking or whatever then I'd do it when the kids were in bed or something.

The other bit - dh and I shared it so we'd each have the time to do stuff like volunteering or hobby groups etc.

Hollyhead · 15/12/2023 20:23

Lol, you don’t 🤣 I didn’t get a minute to myself until they were 3 and 6.

BingoMarieHeeler · 15/12/2023 20:26

NotMyFirstChoiceofName · 15/12/2023 16:25

You don’t, if you are female . Unless you are rich enough to have a nanny or lucky enough to have a female relative (mother, sister ) to help you

The only parents of young children who get to have hobbies, do sport and have a social life are fathers. For some mysterious reason I’ve never been able to work out.

That’s sad and not my experience at all. Nor the experience of my friends. Lots of men are good!

Ss32 · 15/12/2023 21:24

I have a just turned 3 year old and a 10 week old, 3 year old in nursery 3 days. Before I was pregnant I used to do 2 evening gym classes a week and a Saturday morning. After Christmas I’m hoping to do a Saturday morning class as the gym, a ‘Mummyfit class’ taking the baby along and I guess the other will have to be a home workout when she’s content and will just watch 🤷🏼‍♀️ hopefully when baby is in a good evening routine, I’ll be able to return to the evening classes (probably not for another year or so)
but it is hard with full time work/life being chaotic.
We don’t have a bath so that’s not an issue but if I was desperate for one I’d just leave the kids with their dad and go to my mums for one!

MumChp · 15/12/2023 21:27

We didn't.

We managed the children, the household and our jobs.
Now the youngst child being 10 yo we have more time for personal use.

Userengage · 15/12/2023 21:33

Mine are 18 months apart. I used to get up with newborn for early morning feed, put them
in the bouncy chair so they could watch me do 30 day shred whilst the oldest slept. Did this from when the youngest was about eight weeks old.

No baths, only showers with both upstairs, youngest in chair in bathroom in sight and toddler carousing around upstairs (stairgate locked obviously).

I mostly read Topsy and Tim.

CreativCarly · 15/12/2023 21:45

I have a one year old and a 4 year old. I go to the gym two evenings and two lunch times a week. Any 'self care' type stuff mostly happens after bedtime but I do a lot of afternoons / lunches with friends, my husband will have the kids and he'll have time with his friends when I have the kids. I personally find it's easier when you're back at work to get into a routine with these things. Also 4 months is so young, I'd be sleeping with any spare time I had at that point.

justanothermanicmonday1 · 15/12/2023 21:47

I have a 20 month old and a 5 month old.

I haven't been to the gym yet, however I do attend slimming world every week and he stays at home with the kids.

When I go back to the gym in January I will go when he isn't working. When I go back to work in May, I will go back at 5am like I used to. This will be better as the kids will sleep be asleep.

I love a bath a few times a week, so I will do this when youngest is having her last nap and DD has dinner. I do a face mask, listen to music, skin care & fresh jammies etc.

I do love doing my skincare routine every single morning after my shower. i usually just leave the door open and let eldest come in and out and pop youngest on her bouncer if DP works.

celticprincess · 17/12/2023 10:56

Mine are 11&14 and I still don’t have time for those things. Single parent working part time and my house is never tidy. Exercise is more of a family thing when we go for long walks - geocaching is a great way. I did try using the Wii at one point to do some work outs. Got rid of that though a while back. Some of it is to do with affording hobbies etc. I’m hoping once the youngest is a bit older and I can leave them longer in an evening to actually do things properly when I’m not tired then I might pick up my hobbies again. I’ve tried picking up hobbies on my days off work but they’re mostly full of elderly people and although I’ve enjoyed them they’re not quite what I’m looking for.

TheLurpackYears · 17/12/2023 11:05

It is manageable if you have someone else who is invested in you being able to do these things and spends time building a relationship with the children to facilitate this.
I have only seen it happen in one family I know, both parents had well paid professional jobs that they went part time on when their only child was born. The mum is well rested, fit and healthy and doesn't resent the child's dad.

GinLover198 · 17/12/2023 11:08

I let self care slip - we had three under five, & there simply wasn’t time for me to have me time. My other half tried to persuade me to do things for myself but I wasn’t comfortable leaving the kids - I’m still very uncomfortable leaving my three due to my own anxieties for which I’ve sought help with. I get up at 5:30 to do workouts via an online personal trainer package that I can do whenever suits me (& 5:30am suits me) & have some peace before everyone starts wakening. Unless I’m in the bath with one of the kids, I don’t have baths. In the last year I’ve started getting my hair done regularly again & going to self care appointments - my eldest will be 10 on their birthday. Anxieties aside, we don’t have an abundance of childcare so things were just how they were for a lot of years & I was OK with that.

Lights22 · 17/12/2023 11:09

To be honest, I don't. I have a 5 and 2 year old and we both have full time jobs. 3 weeks ago I started pilates, the first thing for me in 2 years. It's darned difficult. It changes and in some respects gets easier. But until now my self care has been accepting my limitations and our choice to put the children first.

AndThatWasNY · 17/12/2023 11:16

A found I walked a lot when I had number 3 as ds1 was in school, DS2 in nursery half days, and I would take the baby to playgroup, out for walks, to cafe etc. my daily steps was averaging 20,000 and stairs climbed about 30. I also had toned arms from lifted toddlers and babies all day. I used to try and walk very fast to get some cardio in. When I had the energy I would do crunches/squats when cooking/waiting foe the kettle/brushing teeth. I couldn't do classes as was also at Uni and DH worked shifts and his days off were used letting me go to uni so it never worked out.
I learnt to shower in under 3 minutes. I also had a lot of baths with 3 children joining me (loved it).

naughtynine · 17/12/2023 11:24

I don't really exercise much except yoga & walking. Can't fit in in with work even though I'm p/t, dcs activities, seeing friends & going out as couple & then family.

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 17/12/2023 11:29

I had showers, not baths.

I did exercise classes at the park with the double buggy. The class was aimed at mothers with prams. The prams were used for some of the exercises, eg lunging while pushing. Going up steep hills. They were all put at one end of the field facing us as we moved towards them doing whatever exercise we had been told to do. It was called something like wheely fit / pram fit.

planning your ‘me time’ with a four month old and a pregnancy is optimistic.

Treeinthesky · 17/12/2023 11:44

You don't. Hence why so many couples split up. 2 = less time for yourself and less couple time.

BohemondofAntioch · 17/12/2023 12:22

If you don't have the kids in childcare (or if you do, but work all that time) then the answer is this: one parent has the kids; the other get some "me" time. It takes work (I have 7 kids....).

DanceMumTaxi · 17/12/2023 12:34

Mine are 11 & 8 and I still don't manage the things you mention. Time is totally taken up with work, housework and kids activities. There’s just never enough time.

Original poster
brownbutterfrangipanetart · 17/12/2023 13:02

Thanks for the responses. I’m still very much on the fence about whether to have a second or stick at one, so just trying to weigh everything up part of which is how much time you get for yourself and as a couple. It seems very tough if you don’t have hands on family support or access to paid childcare

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Original poster
brownbutterfrangipanetart · 17/12/2023 13:04

TheLurpackYears · 17/12/2023 11:05

It is manageable if you have someone else who is invested in you being able to do these things and spends time building a relationship with the children to facilitate this.
I have only seen it happen in one family I know, both parents had well paid professional jobs that they went part time on when their only child was born. The mum is well rested, fit and healthy and doesn't resent the child's dad.

Yes very true, and with the family you mention it may be easier for them with them have one child so less logistics etc to manage

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Pooheadbumbum · 17/12/2023 13:14

I have 4 children. Youngest is 16 months, still breastfeeding. I go to PT twice a week (I take whichever children are at home at the time, so sometimes 1, sometimes 4!) and go running 2 evenings a week after bedtime and one weekend morning a week.

I Started back to running when baby was about 4 months. Resumed PT when baby was 2 months, and next child was nearly 2.

Reading I do at night before going to sleep.

I get nails done in the evening and beauty stuff I take children with me if needs be.

anicecuppateaa · 17/12/2023 13:22

I have 3. DTs 3.5 and ds 16m. I try to exercise 1/2 times a week. No time for self care really, I can’t remember the last time I had a bath (it was pre pregnancy for sure). I occasionally read on the train to work but am usually doing life admin (food shopping, buying birthday party gifts etc).

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