If you have more than one child, how do you manage to…

[brownbutterfrangipanetart]

if you have more than one child - both young eg toddler and newborn, do you manage to make time for the following and if so, how?

-keep up an exercise regime (not just walking, 3x 30 min home workouts for example)

-hobbies/self care like baths, reading etc

Right now I have a 4 month baby and am managing the above when my husband looks after baby and vice versa. Just wondering how it works with 2 little ones!

I have 3. Youngest is 1. My husband is a functioning father and can manage to look after his 3 children 3times a week so I can go to the gym. I usually go around 6:30 and they are in bed or almost in bed when I get home. I also go to park run most Saturday mornings whilst my kids enjoy half an hour in the park. I have baths, read, self care in the evenings when they are asleep.

The only parents of young children who get to have hobbies, do sport and have a social life are fathers. For some mysterious reason I’ve never been able to work out

I don’t see that but I always see a very unequal split eg the dad is into cycling 4 times a wk & the mum stays at home or the mum runs 4 times a week & the dad stays at home.

Tbh it’s very hard for parents to have enough alone time for both do exercise regularly as well as all the other things family life entails. I only know of one couple who both regularly exercise but their dc do zero activities & the mum complains they haven’t had a “date” in 3 years!

I have 3. Youngest is 1. My husband is a functioning father and can manage to look after his 3 children 3times a week so I can go to the gym. I usually go around 6:30 and they are in bed or almost in bed when I get home. I also go to park run most Saturday mornings whilst my kids enjoy half an hour in the park. I have baths, read, self care in the evenings when they are asleep.

@whosaidtha Does your DH have the same time for exercise?

@naughtynine absolutely. He doesn't like the gym but likes walking so he walks home from work most days (about an hour) so he's home a lot later than he could be. The kids have eaten before he gets home on those days. And he has a good chunk of time to do whatever he wants on the weekend, usually on a Sunday afternoon when I take the kids to my parents.

Fair enough @whosaidtha. Everyone is different & there has to be comprises as it’s impossible for most to fit everything in eg I like us all to eat dinner together & we prioritise that where possible.

We eat together 2/3 times a week. (And all weekend) The kids also have activities which means we can't have family dinner everyday.

@whosaidtha you don’t need to justify your choices to me. As I said everyone is different & has different priorities. That doesn’t mean some choices are better, it’s personal preference.

Zero exercise beyond walking. If I swim the kids come too.

I go to bed at 8 (up at 4ish with the toddler) so don't have evenings or time for hobbies.

I work four days a week.

I had 3 under 4 and the answer is you don't 🤦‍♀️🤣

You wait until they're older.

Long time ago for me, but depending on DH's shifts, if he was home I'd feed the baby at about 7am and then go straight for a swim at the nearby pool - I could get there, swim , change and back home in less than an hour.
I would try to do workouts with the baby in his swing seat and get toddler to join in or amuse the baby - I could sometime get 20 mins of workout that way. I did an exercise class about 10 mins drive away if DH was home or sometimes other family members would babysit for a couple of hours, but that wasn't always possible.
TBH I don't know how a single parent would get any exercise in at all, especially if you factor in fulltime work and commute time. Some gyms have creche facilities, but you need the sort of baby/child who will go along with that, not all them are happy to be left with strangers.
Do what you can, when you can- there was a time when I used the baby or older child as a weight!

It doesn't. I have a 5 year old and 7 month old and zero time from myself, I struggling tbh!!! Hopefully I'll get there.... will read some of these replies.

I have a 5.5 month old and one just turned 2 last week. I have no time to myself.

5.5 month old is a velcro baby and will not nap in a crib. The other isn’t at nursery yet but will be going 3 mornings a week from January which will give me the opportunity to go to sensory classes with DS2. Hubby is great but I feel guilty not being with them so my hobbies are essentially on hold until DS2 becomes a bit more independent. I don’t grudge it. I love being a mum and books will still be there when they’re a bit older. Being so needed by them won’t last long so I’m enjoying it as much as possible!

Mine are 3.5 and just 2 , they have just started pre school/ and 2 year old starting nursery from April. I am literally only just in the last 3 weeks doing exercise out of the house that isn't pushing a pram

I have a just turned two year old, a just turned four year old and I’m 30 weeks pregnant. I do a 5km 6 days a week, and weights on a Sunday.

We have a treadmill in our garage, so I run before my husband leaves for work, and on weekends it’s a bit more relaxed as he is about more.

As for self care, I will cross that bridge when they are older 🤣

I will say it makes it a lot easier as I only work two days a week, one of which from home. If I worked FT I think it would be far harder to manage!

Similar to what we do (although just with 1) - sounds like good teamwork!

I go to the gym in the evenings generally. Sometimes in the day if neither DH or I is working at that point.

But we've made the considered decision to both work PT and not use childcare. This means less money, though I'm not sure it really means much less while we're not paying for childcare. It also means more time for both of us as whoever is looking after the children generally manages a bit of cooking and housework as well so that doesn't all have to be squeezed into evenings and weekends.

I don't exercise apart from 40 mins walking on the school run a day.

No hobbies or self care as I work before dc get up and after they've gone to bed (and during school hours too)

I had 2 with just under 2 years difference. I was very lucky that they were in the same bed time routine from the youngest being about 9 months and were both asleep for 7 so I had every evening to do workouts and self care. Both had afternoon naps when I could do housework. Child number 3 is autistic and sometimes still awake at 10pm so I have a lot less time. I'm guessing for you it would work the same as it does now just your husband will be watching two children instead of one.

Pretty much none of the above! Tbh it does get easier when they settle into a good bedtime routine. I tend to sleep later now just so I can maximise some ‘me time’ before I have to wake up and do it all over again!

Being honest, you don't (unless you have a Nanny or help from the family).

I did yoga/Pilates at home when baby napped. Dh had a home gym. Plus walks with baby.

I bathed occasionally as a treat and dh had ds when DS started sleeping through I bathed Ona evening

I read all the time, while feeding, before bed, waking up, mealtimes, and in the bath(me not lo😂)

@JLou08 yes I was hoping it would work for same too

@LNEAX i do the same thing sometimes and choose to sacrifice some sleep for some ‘me time’!

I have a 3 year old and a 10 month old. I have baths while my DH looks after them but otherwise none of the things you describe. We could do more if we were more comfortable with babysitters but I don’t feel comfortable leaving the baby yet. We also could do more if we were willing to have the kids alone longer but really we prefer the easiness of having them together over the niceness of having time off so it’s about your priorities.

I listen to a lot of podcasts/audiobooks so I don’t die of boredom.

You don't really, when they're very little. Once the baby goes to bed at 7ish (and the toddler already should be in a bedtime routine) then you can do stuff in the evening (but you're exhausted). My second ones first year was tough for us, I didn't get my baby weight off and we rarely got "me time". Its such a short period though, they're both at school now and I've lots of time to myself and I miss them haha! In contrast my first child's first year was quite nice, he had a good routine from 3 mths, so during mat leave I'd exercise in his nap, the house looked good, I'd have chance to cool a nice dinner. My friend says the easiest number of children is always minus1 of whatever you've got!!

I've got 4 children 9,7,4,3

I walk the school run every morning about an hour and 30 mins walk.
I have 2 hrs on a night time after baths books and bed that I have long baths I could go the gym if I really wanted but actually don't have the energy.
I guess in my case routine is key for us as long as they are all in bed by 8pm I get my 2 hrs to my self before I go to bed