Funny things your toddler has said

[Mumtobabyhavoc]

I thought it would be fun to share those little gems here.
Mine recently rubbed my pregnant belly and said, "Baby!" Then, without missing a beat touched my boob and exclaimed, "Booby!" 😵‍💫
And: while I was using the toilet came over to me, patted my leg and said, "Good job!" 👏

Got any to share? 😊

My now three year old, about six months ago when her baby sister started to be a bit more mobile and so on, would regularly have a conversation with me like this:

"I'm sharing!"
"That's nice, what are you sharing?"
"I'm sharing (Baby Sister)'s toys."
"And are you sharing some of your toys with her?"
"No, I'm sharing hers."

Took quite some time for the idea that sharing might be a two way street to catch on!

When my nephew was little, I'd taken him out for the day, and we went into a Toby carvery place for lunch.

He decided to give the group of fairly drunk men at the next table a telling off because they were getting louder and louder. He stood up, put his hands over his ears, and when they noticed and started smiling and calming down a bit he said "That was an outside voice. This is inside. Use your inside voice please!"

DS, aged 22 months - "go away, pinecone" after he had done a poo in the bath, not realising it had come from him, and was definitely not a pinecone😆

My toddler DS came up to me with a tape measure, did some serious measuring and declared me to be "half past three"

Toddler Havoc still does not like baby b/feeding. Today toddler (sternly) said: No baby, Don't eat mummy's booby. 🤦‍♀️

My 2yo was spotted reaching up to the kitchen counter and when asked she said "I need money Daddy's purse go shoe shopping" We were heading out to get her new shoes that morning which made it all the more funnier! 😅

Years ago, 2.5 year old DS pooped on floor right next to his potty. He shouted " No! " at the poo, "You go potty!!!" Then picked it up and put it in the potty!

@MaMisled ewwww! 😂
@Allinhistiming they learn young, don't they?!

Set the scene: I’m 10 weeks pregnant and trying to plant the seed with 2.5 y/o DD without directly telling her yet

She was playing with one of her baby dolls. She then said “I want a real baby”. I said “you know, if we had a real baby in our house you would be a big sister”
She replied “I don’t want to be a big sister. I just want the baby” 🤦🏻‍♀️

Mine is 18 now, my 2 favourite toddler funnies were:

When playing Kings and Queens game with him he showed me to my seat and said “Sit here, Your Emergency”.

We bought a Wallace and Gromit dvd and had enjoyed watching them together over Christmas. Back at nursery, he looked tired one afternoon and when asked if he was, replied “I’m cream crackered”

My DS (19mo) got upset about yoghurt on his berries:
"No. Clean it!"

Washed off the offending yoghurt:
"Nice. Clean."

We had a similar one:

Lady walks past with a chihuahua. I say "Look DS, it's a dog" (DS loves dogs)

DS looks. Frowns.

"That not a doggy."

😂

Three year old came out the toilet yesterday with trousers and pants at her ankles with a long strand of toilet roll tucked between her bum cheeks, ran round the house shouting “look at my tail!!” 😂

My cousin who was 15 months old at the time, just looked at me and said "no!"

Not a toddler, but my 5 year old apparently said a cheerful "Hello, my lovely!" to the Ofsted inspector during the recent inspection at his school.

My 2 year old dd has issues around the words clock she misses out the l, city, she swaps the c for a t and fox which ends up as a whole different f word, so we get some quite odd looks when we're out and about & she starts singing the pop paper city theme tune, insists on shouting as loud as she can '"look mummy, a big clock, many big clocks". Or when she suddenly shouts fox in the library as there's a large cut out of a fox on wall 😆 My other dd whose now 16 used to wander around saying "get in the bowl" to everyone it took several weeks of confusion to realise it was an m & m advert. She also once loudly asked her grandma what bed bugs were whilst we were in a sorting office,, she was only 3 so no idea where she heard about bedbugs, we got some odd stares.

My youngest has an, ahem, interesting way of pronouncing 'can't'

"Mummy you can't"

Thanks for the recent shares! 🩷😂

Last night my little Havoc dropped a baking dish shattering it. As I was cleaning up, carefully on hands and knees as glass was everywhere, DC said: Good job, mummy! Good cleaning! 🤦‍♀️
Me: Thanks, baby. Mummy tries her best...😵‍💫🤷‍♀️

My youngest son, was 4, said ……”. Where’s my little sister?? “
Me “ You don’t have a little sister!”
Son “ Alice”
Me “Alice is not your little sister, she’s two years older than you, she’s your big sister”
Son” Noooooooo, she’s littler than my other sister”

For years ‘Alice’ was his little sister, I gave up explaining……..

My 4year old told me he was a hairdresser and asked me if I would like curly hair, straight hair or fluffy hair. And then proceeded to give me what I asked for.

he has a crush on a friend and has me making up stories where she cries and he rescues her ‘ on his fire truck at nina miles an hour mummy’.

Taking a cute picture of my toddler when she decided she'd had enough and looked at me sternly in the eye and said "no mummy, no more 'cheese!'"

best observational comedy: toddler son at the zoo, saw the elephant come lumbering out, looked amazed then nodded sagely and said ‘heavvvvvy maus’ in a big deep voice.

earliest recorded joke: 9m.o daughter climbed onto my lap in a heat wave. I was sitting only in my pants, she grabbed my breast, lip-smacked my nipple then cackled into my face. Stopped breast-feeding her at 5 months - god knows what goes on in their heads!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

DC had a great time playing at a friend's house. As we left, DC was asked by friend's mum if they'd had a nice time... "No."