This is precisely my concern. You don’t see that sporadic contact could do untold harm. You don’t seem to realise the impact that contact with you might have on the family, your ex wife etc it’s all about you and your rights and not the rights of the children and your ex wife.
when you were sectioned three times and in a mental hospital she was much much more than a single parent, she would have been counsellor, advocate, dealing with not only the day to day impact of raising children, you must take responsibility for that.
how much stress was she under? What about her mental health? Her emotional health? During divorce never mind the three children and dealing with all of that.
like has been suggested at some point start with her a heart felt genuine letter taking responsibility and ask her for a meeting with a counsellor to listen to her concerns - listen first, acknowledge, and don’t defend what happened or dismiss it.
if she won’t then apply to court
but you might not get very far
2 years NMO - I knew a husband, who took an axe to the house, literally, ripping radiators off the wall, and threw everything out of windows. This was after verbally assaulting the child and verbally abusing the mother whilst drunk. She called police and left the house with the children. They turned up and warned him. He trashed the house when they left- he got a year NMO. It’s all relative but 2 years suggests a high level - they are not given out lightly.