Social services removed children

[Luluhere]

Hi my children was removed from me 12 years ago
I’m now with a new partner would they be involved if I was to have another I’m 42 years old so lot more mature and changed my life all my children are over 18 now and support our decision to try for another baby

Hi, yes they would do an assessment before baby arrives and you would be on some kind of plan for a few months following the birth. But I’ve seen some very positive outcomes so don’t let it put you off if you think you’ll both be able to do parent well.

I think it depends why they were removed.

Context is everything

They will be involved as a matter of course.

But if there is no concerns they won't remain in the child's life long term.

Very midget post above about second chances. There are sooooooo many reasons poodles children are placed in alternative care. Don't judge situations that could one day be you.

You’re asked at your booking in appointment if you’ve had social services involvement before, they make an automatic referral to them if you have. But that doesn’t mean they’re going to take your baby away, as PP have said they may be involved for a short while after baby arrives and provided they’re happy you’re providing good care, a safe home and meeting all their needs then they’ll discharge you

You sound very smug and judgemental, @Honeybobbin. I'm confident that my dc would never be removed either, but people's circumstances are different.

@Fixitup2

Hi, yes they would do an assessment before baby arrives and you would be on some kind of plan for a few months following the birth. But I’ve seen some very positive outcomes so don’t let it put you off if you think you’ll both be able to do parent well.

This sums it up very well.

It does also depend on why the children were removed. If it was an injury that they can’t rule out you caused you are very unlikely to keep this child.

Has your new partner ever had SS involvement?

Yes but if you are going to do things very differently and the problems there prior are no longer there then you have nothing to worry about. It's difficult to get pregnant at 42 so may not happen anyway.

@Honeybobbin I’ve worked with some amazing parents who had previously had children removed and turned things around. One was 14 when her child was removed, she’s been the victim of abuse as a child and her only support were her abusive parents. What chance did she have?! In her late 20’s she had another and was amazing. No involvement with further children after that.
OP I will add, be honest with your partner and any close family of his as they will be spoken to so they should be aware of the situation.

How much have you changed since then?
That's a long time. I'd hope whatever issues you had were now resolved.

@Honeybobbin the irony is that you are only in work because of parents whose children have ended up in care. Interesting way of looking at it, don't you think? Bad parents keep you in biscuits.

As someone who has experience of the care system, you would understand that just because someone's children are removed from them, it is not always the case that they are never allowed to see their children ever again. Or that the children are never returned.

I was that ‘2nd chance baby’. My bIrth mother had already had a child removed and put into care. I was then along with younger sisters put into care when I was 5 and then adopted.
So in my situation, no my mother should not have been allowed to have more children. She was given every chance and lots of help. I think I was closer to our social worker than my mother.

Now it’s not to say that someone can’t turn thier life around eg if was a drug addict but has now been clean for 10 years etc.

I think if you really want another child and it’s for the right reasons then maybe it would be good to speak to social services BEFORE trying to conceive. They may be able to discuss with you any issues that may cause concern etc. It would also look better and show them you are serious about becoming a parent.

@Honeybobbin you’re very confident that something may never go wrong in your life? That’s extremely foolish. An extreme example but my mother used to work with a woman whose child and husband were killed in front of her. She suffered numerous breakdowns and was suicidal. Her remaining child was removed as the lady had to be moved to long term residential psychiatric care. I’m sure she was once sure her children would never be not in her care either!

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. It's not necessary for every person on earth to continue having children just because they feel like it.

I'm sure @Honeybobbin would rather these kids had happy lives than have to be employed to be part of their care following trauma?! I'm sure there is other work available but someone has to do it as unfortunately these situations