Social services removed children

[Luluhere]

Hi my children was removed from me 12 years ago
I’m now with a new partner would they be involved if I was to have another I’m 42 years old so lot more mature and changed my life all my children are over 18 now and support our decision to try for another baby

@HamCob

Sorry to hear that you suffer with your EDS *@DangerNature*. It's such a shame that the online EDS community is so odd at times because it's often difficult to get clear information from healthcare professionals. Some don't always seem to be well informed. Hopefully that is changing now though ...anyway that's a thread in itself!

I wonder if perhaps that’s the cause of the perceived ‘competition’ between parents of those affected if medical professionals aren’t knowledgeable enough they may have got used to having to really emphasise every aspect of the condition and come across in the wrong way perhaps ?

I wonder if perhaps that’s the cause of the perceived ‘competition’ between parents of those affected if medical professionals aren’t knowledgeable enough they may have got used to having to really emphasise every aspect of the condition and come across in the wrong way perhaps

May well be. Doesn’t explain why half of the time they appear to undermine your symptoms and ‘oh well I’ve had it worse’ or ‘Oh well my child has 9/9 and fits every diagnostic criteria so we have it worse off than you’. The online EDS community is very well known for that. It’s a shame.

@DangerNature

I wonder if perhaps that’s the cause of the perceived ‘competition’ between parents of those affected if medical professionals aren’t knowledgeable enough they may have got used to having to really emphasise every aspect of the condition and come across in the wrong way perhaps

May well be. Doesn’t explain why half of the time they appear to undermine your symptoms and ‘oh well I’ve had it worse’ or ‘Oh well my child has 9/9 and fits every diagnostic criteria so we have it worse off than you’. The online EDS community is very well known for that. It’s a shame.

It doesn’t sound a healthy attitude at all tbh and I can see why anyone would choose to leave a group like that it sounds awful.

My brother in law had his children taken away from him and his partner. He went onto have two kids with someone else. I wondered why he was able to have these kids live with him but not the others. Maybe because his new partner has children and is shown to be a fit mother.

Why do you want another child? Wouldn't it be best to put all your efforts into your existing children? I know they are older now but focus on your relationship with them. There is no need for you to have another child and to be honest I really don't think you should, why would you risk neglecting another child?

@lulujuju

Why do you want another child? Wouldn't it be best to put all your efforts into your existing children? I know they are older now but focus on your relationship with them. There is no need for you to have another child and to be honest I really don't think you should, why would you risk neglecting another child?

I agree. I’m quite disturbed by the number of “inspirational” stories about mothers having their children removed from their care to then be successful parents to subsequent children as if those first children were a practice go and don’t matter. It terrifies me what lengths we’ll go to reassure adults, specifically ignoring the best interests and suffering of children.

I've taken a couple of days to think this over and I think - this isn't a question you should be putting to your children, it's not fair on them. They have only been back in your life full time for a year or too, I think they deserve some stability and time when you focus on their needs not your wants. Having a child and seeing you keep this child to adulthood could be very upsetting for your children, they are bound to question why you couldn't do this for them.