PART TWO - Those June/July babies

[kaz33]

As promised - Part two

Hi guys, how are we all doing?

DD2 is settling in to the childminder but isn't keen on the bottle...

Ok, really - our new nanny is Mary Poppins, as I sit DP has given me a healthy banana cake made by her and DS1 We have the same ideas on how to bring up children, DS1 has so taken to her and DS2 is always cooing and laughing with her. Moi, I am getting out and about seeing friends and going to the gym and still spending loads of time with the kids. Total extravagance getting her in two months early but as I go back to a job that I detest in December - reckon I deserve it.

DS2 still not sleeping through the night but at least his cold is on the mend so a bit less eratic.

Kaz, your nanny sounds fab - sounds like you're doing quite nicely thankyou!
MI - what did nephew weigh, and what is he called? Have you seen him yet?
I'm taking dd1 and 2 swimming tomorrow, first time for dd2, I can't wait! (She'll probably howl the place down and then plop in the pool but I still can't wait!)

Hi all, been so busy havn't been able to post. Anniv. was very nice, took dh to hotel/appartment ds1 stayed wiv my mum and I took ds2 wiv us. We had nice meal, I brought some purfume and a sexy dress, have gone down dress size so decided to spoil self!! got some fishnet tights and sexy undies and set about seducing dh .
I have started to tidy my house, is a complete mess, I am such a horder!!! Started clear out in my nesting period but wen got bak from hosp, cudn't bear to carry on. Have finished my bathroom and am half way thru bedroom and frontroom!!! I find if I do different rooms at a time I don't get too bored/tired of it. PND is not too bad at mo, the tidying really helps.
Oh well best stop chattin and giv someone else a chance hee hee.

Swimming was ok except that the baby pool was freezing! So we had to go in the main pool which was quite warm but heaving with half termers. But dd2 enjoyed it. I could hardly keep my eyes open as she was up at 5.30 this morning and it has knocked me all out of sync.
Champs - what does seduce mean? I have forgotten.

dahlia, you so funny!!! Can't wait till I feel confident to go swimming, ds1 really wants to start, his nan is gonna take him for lesons but I know he'd like to go wiv me, Need to shift this bulk b4 that tho!!

Bad weekend. Boiler is on the way out, central heating keeps going off every half an hour and its just so depressing because boilers cost a fortune. Also had a quote for loft conversion for 3rd bedroom and it was a horrific amount of money for what we want doing. Another builder coming today so I just hope he's cheaper, otherwise they are just going to have to share. Money matters depress me.

Dahlia, sorry that you had a bad weekend - we are having tiling and a new wooden floor in. Seeing it as an investment in the long run to help our homes value.

Our boys will be sharing - so trying to look at it as a positive thing

I'm supposed to be back at work and boy oh boy am I rusty. Taking about four times as long as I should to do some coherent editing which is so not rocket science.

And not expressing enough milk.

AND spending TOO MUCH TIME ON MUMSNET!

I'm supposed to be back at work and boy oh boy am I rusty. Taking about four times as long as I should to do some coherent editing which is so not rocket science.

And not expressing enough milk.

AND spending TOO MUCH TIME ON MUMSNET!

Dahlia, are you entitled to working tax credit and/or child tax credit if so, you may be able to get a grant for boiler and heat reservation/draft excluding.
Mother, I'm sure it will all go well, you just have to get into the swing of things. The editing is prob not easy at mo cos you got kiddy on brain, I know I can't even concentrate on making hot choc!! Plus maybe you not expressin enuff cos you're worried about not expressin enuff and then worried because there's not enuff and then there isn't enuff cos your worried...... that's wat happens to me wen I try to express some milk for school run bus journey, except it goes round and round till I give up and go to have a hot choc and then can't concentrate lol

H Hi Ladies - increasingly not feeling at my best, tearful for no reason, tired, lethargic, no energy, uninterested in my life. Have been blaming tiredness but starting to feel that i am suffering from depression. Going to go the doctors tomorrow as too late for appointment today.

The scary thing is that i was doing some research on the internet and starting to think that I have been suffering from a mild form of depression on and off for most of my life. Maybe I am becoming a fantasist ??? There is a form of underlying depression where you can function as normal but you feel like you are going through the motions - sort of describes large periods of my life.

Have told my partner what is going on which feels like a great release and he is being supportive but so great being able to post on mumsnet.

Champs, have you had any luck with your doctor and PND ?

The good news is that last night DS2 slept until 6am. Hurrah !!!

Kaz, love, lots of hugs from me. I have had really nasty depression at times, and know what it's like - I also feel quite strongly that the strain of pregnancy/childbirth/babies IS depressing - that depression is the most realistic/healthy response to the situation. Does that make sense? And you have additional pressure on you because you're exhausted. Your baby sleeps much less than, say, mine (I was up several times last night but nothing to you). You're faced with returning to a job you don't like. No wonder you feel like this. I am so sorry.

I'm beginning to function at work again at last, wow.

And got 9oz out this lunchtime. Moooooo.

kaz, I haven't been to doc yet, ds1 passed his cold onto ds2 and myself. I think you hav to take each day at a time hour by hour. The good thing is that u hav identified wat the prob is. And good support will get u thru.
I hav a dilema. Ihave been asked to look afta a child from my ds1 school for 2wks. I thought it wud be fine but wiv a new baby to care for plus ds2 it is quite hard wiv another child. The bus journey was even harder as i had to bf. And every 5 mins child kept sayin, "it's taking ages to get to your house", this was after 15 mins of "it's takin ages for the bus to come" and "why do we hav to get the bus"!!! I know i may sound horible and I really dont mean to be but she doesn't listen to me, threw my pens in the bin and her food on the floor. She is really a sweet child but she doesn't share and keeps snatchin ds1's toys. They went upstairs to play and I could hear all sorts!! I am strugglin but dont want to let her mother down!! Wat to do??? any advice/suggestions will be really helpful.

Champs, can you just say no? Are you being paid or was it one of those things it's really hard to say no to, and before you know where you are you're landed with it?

Would it work to tell the mother you're sorry, you've realised you have PND (that one should help you out of an awkward situation) and no, sorry, you can't?

Kaz, how are you today?

Went to the doctors today and I am clutching some anti-depressants ( begin with S ). Not quite sure what to do. I have always suffered from depression but have always managed to deal with it by exercise, getting off my face etc...

But now it feels different, there are two little ones to look after and as work looms ever closer its going to get worse. I do feel a bit of a failure for even considering anti-d's.

Today feeling a bit better for having gone to the doctors and the little ones are out all morning and DP has been working at home

IKWYM about feeling a failure...but you're not. You're taking the most feasible route out of this horrible situation.

I emailed you yesterday with my number if you need it, btw.

mother, I will see how it goes today and if it alright I will just do it and will say no a next time. I really dont want to let her mum down.
Kaz, glad to know u feel better today. It sounds like you were masking the depression before not gettin rid of it, I'm so pleased that you got som med. Please let me know if they are any good. My HV says she cud refer me to an org or councellor, I think also there's some groups for PND.

Well thats it Champs - I was masking the depression and at different times in my life been heavily into alcohol, drugs, exercise and bizarely computer games

Have been clean in all respects and much happier since having met DP seven years ago.

We have some big changes to make in the next year including me leaving my job and leaving London and I think that is what is starting to shut me down. I am retreating further and further into myself.

Haven't quite decided what to do, going to sleep on it and maybe leave it for a couple of days before deciding.

\good morning with DS1 - its impossible to be depressed wth active toddler

Good.

Work going slowly here!

Kaz, you sound bizarrely like me, I've been feeling like you recently, 19 month old ds1 and 10 wek ds2 to look after is actually easier than I thought it would be, but a lot of days I feel really sh*y.
I used to be quite heavily into the drugs/alcohol scene in my teens myself till I met dh (also 7 years ago!), and looking back, have been prone to peiods of (mild?) depression. I've thought of (and discussed with dh, who thinks I should) going to the Doctor, but I can't bring myself to admit exactly how I feel about things at times, I don't like to even think about it, never mind discuss it with a stranger. And some days I have good days and think I can get through this on my own. But on the bad days it's pretty bad.
E-mail me if you ever want to chat.

Hello Ladies. Kaz, how are you doing? I haven't had chance to get on Mumsnet for a few days and I'm really sorry to hear you're having a bad time - funny isn't it, I've never met you and yet feel like I know you (and MotherI) really well - I hope you start to feel better soon, and send big hugs. xxxx

Hi Elena - I think its doubly hard when you have children because there is never any down time - even when you want to pull down the shutters you have to get up and get on it.

I don't think AD's are the answer, merely a short term fix. I am going to get some counselling so that I can try and work out why i seem unable to enjoy/live my own life.

Today has been really good, DP has really come through and skived off work today and as it happens my mum came round in the afternoon and kept telling me how gorgeous my boys are.

Anyway I started the AD's this morning - so lets see what happens.

Elena and MI thanks for the offer of chats - MI haven't received your email address from Mumsnet ( I haven't been ignoring you ).