PART TWO - Those June/July babies

[kaz33]

As promised - Part two

I've sent it to you again.

I am so tired. Absolutely exhausted. Nights are becoming horrible. AAaaaargh.

What's up MI? Is she up alot at night?

Yep, she's waking. Have whinged on a sleep thread about this. I don't think she's hungry; in fact I suspect she's doing something a lot of babies do at her age (see hot debate on whether solids improve sleep). Unfortunately the effect on her parents is somewhat like having sandpaper rubbed over their naked skulls. The dummy works but reinserting it at 4am is not my idea of fun (dp did suggest we take advantage of being awake by making wild, inventive, passionate lurve, but somehow sleep was more seductive).

At her age dd1 was sleeping solidly. OTOH dd1 is waking a fair bit too at the moment so I suppose taking a long-term view in a couple of years they might BOTH be sleeping solidly. Do you think I'll have survived till then?

Oh, and Dahlia, have you started your new job? How is it?

Haven't got a start date yet, still waiting for the crb check to go through, its taking forever.
I wish I had some great advice for you re the sleep problem, but I haven't. I hope it improves quickly, its such a horrific shock to the system when you're woken in the night when you've got used to sleeping through. Perhaps you could drug her?

Hi all!!
Ds1 is ill (again!!) ds2 and I still have sniffles. I really don't mean to sound like I want ds1 to be ill, but it means that as he's not going to school so I don't have to collect his friend!!
MI, I gave ds1 a dummy but he grew sooo attached to it. Whenever it dropped out of his mouth when he was asleep he would scream the place down till someone put it back in!!! This could be any number times and foe years, he was so attached that he even wanted it when he wasn't crying!! If that wasn't bad enuff, the stupid things always got lost!!(think 3am dashes to the shops!! it got so I knew every shop that sold dummies and I always tried to have a spare one. it wasn't until he was 3 or 4 when he finaly gave it up!! I know you have already started with the dummy, and I am in no position to tell anyone what to do but it might be easier in the long run not to use one. I found with ds1 that if I gave him some cereal (mush ) before he went to sleep meant he slept longer, he loved the banana one from well known high street chemist, it came in powder form in a box and Ii could make as much or little as I wanted.
Try it even once and see if it works.

I don't like dummies but have resorted to them with both babies. Dd1 used one to get to sleep, then lost interest and started sucking her thumb (AND sleeping 12 hours a night). DD2 is a different kettle of fish. Lovely baby, mind, just different.

I should be doing some work tonight but can't face it when after all I start at 7 sodding 30 in the morning.

Hi Ladies

Well an update on my depressed state - chucked the anti depressants in the bin, decided that I do not need them and its only because of my knackered run down state that I even contemplated them.

DP has been great, really rallied behind me and he has admitted that I have been taking the brunt of everything. Me going to the doctors made him realise how tough things have been. With his support I feel so much tougher, like my normal state.

Champs - How are you doing ?

Oh Kaz, I'm so glad.

And we got a full night last night so I feel almost human again. I have to write an article on 'the first 24 hours' - can any of us remember?

Good for you Kaz, glad you are feeling a bit better.
MI, worst memory - horrific afterpains, best memory - seeing dd1 hold dd2 in hospital. It seems like years ago....

Interestingly, Dahlia, I've also got to write a piece on dd1 seeing dd2. I agree, absolutely amazing.

As opposed to my dear nephew, who is MOST under-impressed at his new brother and said firmly he didn't want to go and see mummy in the hospital again as he was fed up with the baby!

The first 24 hours of DS1 - a nightmare, exhausted, recovering from emergency c-section, cathather, pain killers and totally unhelpful midwifes. Asking for a jug of water and no one bringing me one...

he first 24 hours of DS2 - amazing, home the same day, ;looking at my little boy with total adoration and joy. Taking him home for DS1 to see - balloons and presents all round.

two experiences a world apart !!

hi all, ds2 is crying right now has cryin on and off all day!! dh has been at work aaaallllll day went in 9am came bak at 10pm!! four hrs late, not so much as aphone call or even a txt to say will be late. second time this week. and he went to sleep!!! to sleep!!! wat about me all day wiv cryin baby. he made me so angry jusy had to let off some steam!! he always waits for me to comfort baby wen he cry, it annoys me, he says baby doesn't want him and he wont stop cryin, well wat does he expece if it always me? aaaaarrrrrrgggg!!!!! I have to tell him to do everything--- why wont he just do it on own initiative?
look I am reall sorry to dump all this on all you, but i really dont know who to tell!! kaz-- glad you are makin progress.
BTW. I too remember ds1 seeing ds2 for first time as tho it was yestaday he was very cross that it wasn't a girl!!! lol,

Oh, Champs, massive hugs; can't suggest anything constructive as am sleep deprived and have too much work...but i think you should do a new post asking for suggestions about ways to prod him into ACTIVITY. He's being completely out of order IMO.

He;y Champs - thanks feeling a lot better. I had to go to the doctors and get anti depressants before DP realised that I needed help. That prompted him into giving me a lot more support - can you give that a go ?

Bit sneaky I know, but totally justified as you are suffering from PND anyway.

Champs, I don't want to criticise your dh, but he really is out of order - is he the type to listen if you sit him down and have a major heart to heart talk? He obviously doesn't get just how pee-ed off you are. I would be fuming if mine behaved like that. But my way of dealing with it would be to plonk the baby on him and grab the carkeys and go straight out. Then he would have to deal with it.

Kaz-- He knows I ahve PND and that I went to docs, He tries to be supportive but he dont understand that even tho I'm gettin on wiv my (ie gettin out of bed!!) That i still feel low, I have to look after baby and ds1, collect ds1 from sch, cook, clean and try to keep house tidy as poss (as close to tidy as I can :p) there's no two ways about it but that in no way means that I am "better" as he puts it.
Dahlia-- Oh to be able to do that I tried to go downstairs and leave baby wiv him but could hear the poor lamb cryin in such a heart felt way I went and got him, then I was racked wiv the I'm-a-bad-can't-do-anything-right-do-i-even-deserve-kids-mother guilts. Oh well.... I suppose this week isn't a good one and will be better next.

Champs - I think we all feel like that at times. I know I do. But you're wrong - of course you deserve your kids and they are lucky to have you. Your dh, on the other hand - GRRRRRR

Oh Champs, don't feel like that. You're obviously a brilliant mother which is why the baby always wants you! You're doing a great job, men just don't really how bloody hard it is to hold it all together. I find it hard enough and I haven't got pnd. Well, I think I haven't, I feel so crappy sometimes that I wonder....
You're not alone, we all appreciate what a struggle it is to keep your head above water. I hope things get better for you soon, lots of love xxx

how's everyone doing?

In the thick of controlled crying here

Is it working?

Think so - got a full night last night - but You Never Can Tell.

I should be working not MN-ing!!

And I should be getting dd1's tea ready - she is performing tonight in The King and I - playing one of the siamese children - she is doing 3 shows and tonight is the first! (Extremely excited).

And another night!!!

Dahlia, was dd1 the Star of the Show?

hi all!! dahlia and mi thanx for all the lovely kind words blush. mi well done on the full nights!!! dahlia how was the performance? how exciting!!! I bet she was brilliant!!! ds1 is sick yet again v/ting all night and again now, darn bug. myself and baby still fighting the sniffles. baby seems to be teething!!! noticed last couple of weeks, dribbles, gnawing on stuff, using my nipple as a teething implement (ouch) so went to get him a teething ring -- have you seen all the types and varieties?!! One that I liked couldn't be sterilised!! not even cold water sterilised so I left it as baby is 3mths and I want to at least sterilise it I ended up gettin two the same so I could have one sterilising and one being used (smart huh?) NO not smart.... I found out after preparing one that it was too big for his mouth!!! as I have already opened one i will keep it for later use, so will have to go and change the other one!! Oh well, the fun of shopping will give me something to look forward to!!
Bye for now