DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

I wouldn't over react.
I think this sort of thing is a lot more common amongst siblings than we think.

When I was 8 or 9 my friends big brother made me and his sister rub talc into his bits....

Obviously not to be encouraged but I think it's normal for kids to want to experiment and it's up to us as parents to show them where to draw the line. A quiet word with both and make sure it never happens again.

Ringing NSPCC is quite unnecessary and a big overreaction.

Framey This wasn't a one off incidence. From what DDs have said it has happened over at least 2 months.

pixie Doing ok. Worried about tomorrow and how it will effect DD's. I need to think about what i am going to tell them tonight. I don't want to worry them.

Thinking of you Gruesome - please ignore Framey's comment - I don't think she could've read the thread properly. I certainly hope so anyway. You're absolutely doing the right thing and your bravery as a mother is inspiring.

No, I'm certain she hasn't read it all. You are doing the right thing, don't worry about that.
Where will the DDs interview take place? They managed the other interview really well, so this should be the same. Just remind them of the last one and say they are going to talk about the same things again with some different people, and they are going to record it because they might want to rewind and listen back to make sure they understood everything properly. They will be fine, don't worry.
What about DS2, how is he getting on?

Much love xxx :)

And to Framey...

Yes, sadly I think this is more common than we think. Many people have come onto this thread and talked about abuse that they experienced as children and either were too afraid to tell anyone, or no-one believed them. It is massively under-reported, that is true.
Not acting on the information that her daughters gave her would have put Tortoise and her family in a very vulnerable position. The daughters would have felt betrayed, DS1 would have carried on, things may have escalated, DS2 may have learned inappropriate things, Social Services could have been alerted to a mother who wasn't acting in the interests of her family and he outcome would have been a lot worse all round. As it is, Tortoise is being very brave, acting in the interests of all her family, despite the action being very difficult to take, and the police and social services will work together with the family to ensure that the girls are not in danger and the son gets the help he needs.

Posting on a thread like this without reading the full thread is dangerous and can be harmful. If you had read the whole thread, you would know where Tortoise is up to now in terms of intervention. Your advice therefore is too late, regardless of it being (in my opinion) poor and unhelpful.

Oh dear, I didn't read the whole thread because after reading a few posts I wanted to post straight away to say don't overreact.
I'm obviously in disagreement with most of the posters on the thread and I genuinely don't mean to upset and offend anyone.

It's a difficult situation and I'm not an expert so I can't comment really other than to say I know this sort of thing goes on a lot, I've experienced it and lots of other people I know have too so it's not unheard of.

The big brother I mentioned in my other post was always trying to initiate situations where me and his sister had to get undressed... elaborate games etc. I don't think he meant any harm by it.
I still know him now as an adult, I don't hold it against him as it was obviously just a hormone driven phase he was going through (he's married with kids and is a successful professional now, not in jail for pedophilia!)

Not in jail Framey, but do you ever wonder / worry about his children?

Yes, quite Mathanxiety.

As an aside, my cousin was raped by school friends when she was 14. She didn't report it because she thought "they didn't mean any harm". To what degree should we allow others to do what they like?

Erm, no.
He's a lovely bloke, they're a lovely family.

I don't think he was interested in kiddy fiddling per say, I think he was interested in girls. Me and his sister happened to be the only girls around at the time. Inappropriate behavior, but not intrinsically bad or evil.

Framey, here is a thread where the particular discussion you are having is taking place. It arose from this one.

Good grief. I have nothing constructive whatsoever to say to Framey's post. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.
Tortoise I have been struck by the fact that the trust your daughters clearly have in you has been justified by the way you have dealt with this terrible situation.

Thinking of you all still.

I have 3 boys and a dd.My boys are now grown now and i can honestly say as i watched their sexuality develop and we are a veryopen family, at 13 they had a healthy interest and used to buy the car mags or suchlike(for the articles)they then spoke about girls together before the first pretty girls started calling for them etc. I do think that i would have been concerned if they had acted in this way. They are definatly interested in sex and girls at this age but its either their own age or older.
I dont envy you dealing with this alone but you could get some confidential advice from parent line or any of the other organisations.
I do work in child protection and in my experience this would be dealt with appropriatly and not as massive over reaction

Ok I was just trying to add a sense of perspective to this as I think it's all a bit hysterical.

I think it's perfectly possible for this sort of thing to happen and for it to be innocent.

That's good isn't it? Surely the fact that my friends brother is now a normal human being is good news for the op? That her son will get over it too (I'm sure he will). And that her DDs will get over it too.

I don't want to argue about this any more because I don't think it's at all helpful to the situation.

Again, I am sorry if my opinions have offended anyone.

i think you will find framey, their is nothing hysterical about this thread people have posted in an honest and dignified way with genuine and justified concern for the ops dds and dss equaly.

most of the posts by people who have either had experience or knowledge or an opinion on the intervention of ss has not been hysterical.

like ledkr has stated this will most probably be delt with sensibly and with no over reaction by child protection, im sure unless nothing else more worrying is reported by dds or ds.

i still cant see how this can be described as inoccent by anyone a 13 yer old boy touching his 6 and 7 year old sisters in a sexual way and if it is on his part inoccent then at his age he should understand why this is wrong if he does not then it should be delt with in a ppropriate fashion.

Also Framey, how do you know that your friend's brother is a "normal human being"?? People who commit these types of offences don't have a certain "look". And these types of offences tend to be kept secret for many many years, and when they come to light, other members of the family and friends are often shocked that a seemingly loving father/brother/uncle, whatever, did such a thing. The point that you seem to be missing is that this intervention will also help her DS as well. She is a very brave lady and does not need this sort of mis-guided at best, dangerous at worst, "advice".

They will be interviewed at a special police house with recording equipment which is especially for this sort of thing. I believe it is the same place that DS1 had to go to years ago to tell the police about XP2.
I need to tell them tonight i think as they get up and dressed themselves quite quickly in the morning and i don't want to make them get changed again.
Also need to arrange with Ds2 if he wants me to still walk him to school or if he will go alone/with my friend.

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, as I'm sure lots of other people on here will.

Good luck for tomorrow. I'm sure your DD's will do well and just knowing you are there to support them and give them a big hug when the interview is over, will build up their courage to be honest about what's happened.

I have had a chat with them about tomorrow and they seem ok about (very happy to be missing school lol!)