DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

You are being so strong for your children.

You will all be in my thoughts tomorrow x

Well done, tomorrow will be another tough day but you will get through it because you are strong.

I would ask for both of those posts with DS's name on to be deleted if I were you.

When they come tomorrow, make sure you have some time to talk to them without the girls. If I were you I would write a list of questions and concerns that you have.

:)

tortoise glad things are moving along for you. i agree i don't like the sound of the 'giving him a scare' but i have no experience of SS so not sure how they work. i think you should get that last post deleted as your son's name is in it. try and get soem sleep tonight.

thinking about you for tommorow. talk to sw tommorow also about how you worry about the police officers demeanor with your ds when they talk with him, explain you want to give him an oppertunity for support if he is emotional and not just viewed as a reprimand.

Thinking of you today tortoise.

Get some help please.

My 12 yr old knows the boundaries. It s naive to think they don't.

I am 41 and in counselling. This does not go away like a childish prank. It is a sexual assault.

Yes the boy needs help. He may then grow up knowing the boundaries. But it need outside intervention of some sort. But protect your little girls please, please'please

Have you read the thread Remember? She is getting help. SS are now involved and police are talking to the DS today. She's doing everything practical to support her little girls and her son....

Thinking of you today x

:) Hope today goes well :)

I have just read this thread and have nothing to add in the way of advice (there has been some great advice here already) but I wanted to wish Tortoise all the very best of luck for today.
You are a very strong person and an amazing Mum to you DC's. I'm so pleased you have made steps to protect your children, SS will be fabulous help.

(((hugs)))

Just sending vibes of support and respect for your courage Tortoise.

Just got home. Took 2 hrs at school to go through everything and for a police officer (plain clothed) and SW to talk to the girls individually.
It looks like DS1 ill formally be interviewed in some way by the police over the weekend. Could very likely have been, i think he called it, police prosecution, but because of past problems with XP2 he doesn't think it would go that far but of course needs sorting carefully. He does agree DS1 has crossed the line between normal and abuse.
DD's will possibly have to do a video interview too . They were so, so good today.

They will also contact DS's dad today and DS1 is to stay at his this weekend (would normally just be there Sat). DS2 will be spoken to by someone at some point too.

This is all just so awful and i can't say i 100% understand what is going to happen. I couldn't take everything in properly. My head is all over the place.

Just to say again Tortoise that you have absolutely done the right thing by all your children, even though it may feel like anything but at the moment. What a bloody awful situation for you all, and I just want to wish you lots of love and strength. You are a fantastically brave woman and a wonderful mum.

Well done, you have taken an huge step today.
This is an horrid situation you are in right now but you have 100% done the right thing.

As knotty hair said, you are such a fantastic mum and very brave. Your head will be so full, I cannot begin to imagine but earlier this year when I was having some personal difficulties I wrote everything down, almost like a journal, I felt the book held some burdon, if that makes sense.

Love to you and all your family. Be strong Tortoise, you will overcome this. (((hugs)))

Tortoise well done for doing everything that you have done. The police and SW must have made everything feel more real and possibly worse - but the reality is that the bad thing has already happened and you are dealing with it in the best way possible.

If it hasn't been mentioned already please ask SW to refer DS1 to CAMHS, or if they can't (they may only be able to do this with LAC I can't remember) then ask your GP to refer him, CAMHS often has a long waiting list so getting the referral in should be a priority.

Totally agree with what homeboys has said - ring the SW to clarify things or ask them to put a brief summary of what has happened and is going to happen in the immediate future in an email.

How is your DS1's relationship with his Dad, will he be able to deal with this appropriately?

Tortoise you are such a good mum my thoughts are with you. Stay strong - it may not be easy at times but you can do it you are wonderful lady.

Oh bless you tortoise. This must feel like it's moving too fast and I'm not surprised it's left you reeling . I'm not sure I'd be anywhere near as composed as you are. Can't add any more advice as there are people on here far more experienced on these things with far better things to say, but you're in my thoughts x

I lurked a bit yesterday and just didn't know what to say - I still don't, but Tortoise you have all my admiration and respect. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling but you're doing everything right.

Tortoise, well done. This is the hardest bit. The bit where all that seems to be happening is constant trawling through the stuff no-one wants to hear or think about.

Try to hold on to the thought that in the next few weeks, everyone will start getting the help they need.

I do think that you really need to talk through sleeping arrangements and housing with the SW - they could help you get more suitable housing, especially if you are in a HA house.

I am sorry Tortoise. As someone pointed out, I did actually read the thread, but sadly as someone who has experienced this my post was knee jerk reaction to the feelings it triggered.

I don't normally post so subjectively, but had not slept due to nightmares, and responded based on my feelings and not what was perhaps what you needed to hear.

I am truly sorry. This must be hell for you all.. I hope time and support are the keys to finding futuer positive outcome for all involved in this.

Again, I apologise.

Thinking of you, keep strong.

Tort - this is utterly heartbreaking but you are doing the right thing for all of your children, who will now, hopefully, all have accesss to the oppropriate help & support for them (and you).

Am I right in recalling your mum is abroad? Do you have anyone in RL you can talk to or get support from for you (as well as the kids iyswim)

Tortoise; you and Women like you deserve the greatest of respect and admiration. Without going into too much detail I wish my Mother had been more like you when I told her of inappropriate behavior of a family friend.
You are in my thoughts.