DD2 6 just told me something that has worried me...

[GruesomeShellChillingTortoise]

She just said that her 13yr old half Brother keeps pulling her trousers and knickers down and looking at her privates and has touched her(haven't asked her how). And when she is led on his bed he puts her knickers over her head so that his face is close to her privates.
I have just quickly spoken to him (because i didn't know what to say) and he said it was true. I have told him he mustn't do hings like that to his sister and that he shouldn't be looking/touching her privates.

Now i am worried and not sure if i should be doing/saying anything else to either DD2 or DS1.

Please help.

thinking of you this morning tortoise...make that call.

If you are lurking, Tortoise, we are thinking of you

just caught up with this. great post lougle.

tortoise, just echoing other posts, thinking of you today and wishing you much strength.

How are you today Tortoise? :)

Tortoise, I hope you are bearing up well. I have not read the whole thread,but I notice that you have given your children their own rooms, while you sleep on the living room floor.

If there is one thing you can do for yourself, and your children, it is to change this. You need your own bedroom. You are the head of your household and should treat yourself like the matriarch you are.

Can you reconsider the sleeping arrangements, adding locks, and bunk beds, and even bookshelves-as-room dividers as necessary. This could help ensure your DDs' safety, and make your status more clear to all your children.

Best of luck.

I'm ok, well as ok as i can be.
I have just got off the phone and they have logged the details and will get a SW to contact me after they have had a chance to look at the info i have given.
I am shaking now.

Unwind I would love to be able to have my own bedroom again but we are in a quite small 3 bedroom house and i had to put DS1 and DS2 in separate rooms as they weren't getting on in the small space they had. How would locks on bedrooms work? I wouldn't want any of them locked in at night. They all keep their doors open with bathroom light on.

Lougle Thank you for your post it has been very helpful.
And everyone else.

As someone else said, it was DD's Dad XP2 who was abusive to DS1 and i did mean XP1's mother (can't ever see her as ex MIL as we weren't married! )

glad you have made the call, im not sure about locks on the door?? i would close dds doors once they are asleep and keep yours open that way you will hear any movement. It depends on what level of risk ds presents during the night, he may not. ss will probaly be advicing you of all this at some point. You are doing so well.

you will be fine, have a coffee or cup of tea and a couple of paracectamol will help you calm down.

Well done, you did the right thing. :)

Well done, Tortoise, this must have been so hard for you but I am absolutely certain that you have taken the right steps to support and care for all your children. I'm sure I've said it before, but your children are lucky to have a mother who is willing to confront and address a very difficult situation. You don't need to be afraid of the services that become involved to help, they are there to do just that - help.

Lougle's post was excellent and I wish I could have expressed my thoughts as clearly as she has. This must be awful for you but it can only start to get better with the help that you will receive.

Well done tortoise - you did the right thing, even if it makes you feel like you haven't....

Tortoise, you've done such a brave thing, and the best thing for all your children.

Tortoise you are amazing! Well done. Have they given you a timescale for getting back to you?

Do you know, I found myself getting almost a little bit excited when I read your post, because it made me think how much your children, all of them, are going to realise that you loved them when they were younger. You are actively undoing some of the damage that has been done to them in their earlier lives, and helping them at a personal cost to yourself.

Do you own your house? If you rent, you may find that SS have some sway with the Housing section, and they may be able to give you Discretionary Housing Payments to enable you to rent a 4 bed house for safety reasons. You really do need to be on the same floor as your DD's right now.

Tortoise, nothing more to add except well done and sending you every best wish and your children too.

Lougle's posts are fantastic.

Well done tortoise. You are very brave and very strong (even if you don't feel like it).

Well done Tortoise x

Tortoise, it depends on the layout of your house. Assuming, like most 3 bedroom houses, there is one v. large room, you could

• put both boys in there, with the room divided in two in some way, e.g. bookshelves, or a screen.
• move in there yourself, and share with both dds, again, dividing the room in some way, so you have some space to yourself

and well done!

thinking about what unwind has said about sleeping arangments I def agree on reflection, it is not ideal.

You are doing so well. Did you mean to post Ds' name in your last post?

Thinking of you.

Oh and sleeping situation, is not ideal but Girls share the sort of biggest room. There is very little space left for even playing.
DS1 has the next biggest room. Plenty big enough for just him but i don't think both Boys would fit in it.
DS2 is in the smallest room which used to be my room when DS's shared what is now DD's room. DD's used to have DS1's room but once DD2 was in a bed there was very little room.

I think if they all had bunk beds they would fit in but i can't afford to buy new beds or buy myself a bed.

I had been hoping to get an exchange as house is a housing association property. I am on an exchange website but no luck so far. Probably because i was hoping to move from Somerset to Devon.

love, I am reporting your last post x