So embarrassed I wanted to die.

[Katkins17]

So I bought my shopping in Tesco...as you do....said thank you to the cashier when she gave me the receipt and my brain couldn't decide whether it wanted to say 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' so instead it shouted quite loudly to the cashier and the whole queue behind me ...

'YOU'RE THE PROBLEM'

I just stood there, with us all looking uncomfortable and not knowing what to say .... plus a few sniggers behind.

What is the worse thing you've said without meaning to ?????

Stop it! Baby has been poorly. And screaming cos he didn't want to sleep. He JUST fell asleep, and I'm trying to silent laugh for fear of waking the cracken again 🙃

I'm snorting laughing at these - absolutely brilliant! Thanks everyone - much needed at the minute.

I’ve had a crap day and this has just massively cheered me up! 😂😂😂😂

Do not bloody apologise! It was very easy to understand your post. People normally claim they can't because they're having a pop at the writer and being snobby.

the man was asking her to sponsor a dog… as in pay a sum of money for the dogs care.

the poster thought that she was being asked to sponsor the dog doing an activity… in the way that people say ‘I’m sitting in a bath of beans to raise money for charity. Will you sponsor me?’

It's already been explained several times now. Thanks.

Your post is fine!

Many years ago my mum had a holiday cottage right beside the sea. A friendly local fisherman occasionally caught crabs or lobsters which were too small to sell commercially so he'd drop them off with my mum as he passed by, as he knew she liked them. Anyway one day after he'd done this, my mum said very loudly in front of several people "Ooh I can't remember when I last got crabs!" My sister and I were beside ourselves and my mum who was quite prudish didn't understand why we're laughing, which of course just made us worse 😂😂😂

I was manning the self scan tills in a supermarket this weekend.. some of them prompt people that they are card payments only and ask if the customer wishes to continue.. multiple people responded yes out loud! I suspect if they thought about it they would be posting on a thread like this one 😂 but I actually find it quite sweet.

Not snobby, just very tired and headachy. Reverse snobbery is not necessary however.

Maybe don't be snotty. Thanks.

🤣🤣🤣

🙈🙈🙈

I could write a book. You should have seen my (ex) husband's face! Legs in stirrups, saying 'excuse me?' to the cool doctor. Then asking him that! 😂🤣

This thread has made me giggle so here's a contribution...

I have a very friendly little dog who likes to greet people enthusiastically at the front door. As such, I usually pick him up before opening it if I'm not sure who's knocking.
Very recently, I opened the door to a man who said hello and reached out his hand... so I shook it... only to realised that he had been trying to pet my dog (who I was holding in one arm). Mortified.

This is my absolute favorite thread for ages. Thank you!🙏

@Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast Thank you. Plenty warped n weird responses on just bout every thread. I think previously been suggested read it aloud,wi scottish accent.(or not) iv repeatedly adressed where am at\how came about.THATs bit sore,no here for sympathy, is absolutely a relearning thing.(no guarantee progress)
scroll on n ignore is optional, as is the pile on cos am not manage fitted as standard language. again...sno like im comment to hijack thread....that said...whole concept =takes all sorts
the too mny words thing will alwys annoy me more than rest of them, ...i really appreciate @Papergirl1968 fixing it,and means alot to read its not complete gobbledegook.

My partner is a senior lecturer at university. He started an email to a student named Poppy "Dear Poopy.." and didn't notice til he'd sent it.

😂

At Butlins dd2 & I were on the umbrella ride waiting for it to start. I thought she was in the seat behind me so I turned around and shouted "hey bestayyyyyyy!" which is our little saying to each other. Only it wasn't dd, it was a teenage girl looking puzzled. Dd was on the other side absolutely dying 🤣

😂😂😂😂

Many years ago when I worked in a hotel, it was breakfast service which happened to be buffet style. A lady asked me "is that crene fraiche?
I replied, yes, it was delivered this morning !

🤣

A Morecambe and Wise sketch manqué