So embarrassed I wanted to die.

[Katkins17]

So I bought my shopping in Tesco...as you do....said thank you to the cashier when she gave me the receipt and my brain couldn't decide whether it wanted to say 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' so instead it shouted quite loudly to the cashier and the whole queue behind me ...

'YOU'RE THE PROBLEM'

I just stood there, with us all looking uncomfortable and not knowing what to say .... plus a few sniggers behind.

What is the worse thing you've said without meaning to ?????

I was very tired, and instead of a return ticket, I asked the bus driver for ‘extra shot latte please’
😳

This one gave me an unexpected laugh I desperately needed:

My daughter was (stable and doing well) in intensive care getting looked after by the same nurse every night. On new year's eve, all the nurses dressed up as Disney characters. Our nurse wore a white top and bottoms with black dots on them, doggy ears and a collar that said "Pongo" on it. My husband started asking her a very serious question about our daughter's care and then goes "Oh, I'm sorry.. what was your name again?" Looks at her dog collar and says "Pongo, yes.. when do think (and continues to ask her the question) me and the nurse both looked at each other and couldn't contain our laughter!

Till this day we still laugh about him thinking our nurse's name was Pongo!

My DH has a phrase he likes to use for mastering a skill that takes a lot of effort he’ll say “blunt trauma” for the repetitiveness of the learning etc. Anyway our neighbour had recently moved in and her dogs are always barking etc. So the next time I saw her , to be polite (clearly a people pleaser) I said I’m sure the dogs will get used to us to which she replied maybe they won’t. So for some reason my brain decided to reply “blunt trauma and chicken wings”. She gave me a horrified look and said “Oh please don’t”. Mortified I ran in to tell my DH what I’d just said and he couldn’t stop laughing.

Chardonnay’s crap 😄 Sauvignon Blanc all the way!

Walking in supermarket with my ma,tryna adjust to bright lights,trolley pushing,loadsa people n this guy jumps in front of me like a troll from under a bridge."hello,, would u like to sponsor a dog?"...I say " to do what?" My mum sorta squeaky noises n man turns on his heels n stopt off. I go "fquin weirdo" ..so,start of veg aisle n I turn look for mum.shes got tears run down her face n bent double
.I panic "what's the matter?" She goes "you, ..to do what?. bloody fool, sponsor itto LIVE!! Did u think dog was gony jump out a plane? Sit in a bathful of beans "....

Out with the fam. I planned to say 'let's go and look in all the nooks and crannies' I actually said 'lets go and look in all the crooks and nannies'

I honestly don’t understand your post.

Someone at work said happy birthday to me and I replied 'and to you!' - they were like

I don't either.

@AubrieDog =@cowandpigeon .ok. well, i probably jus make it worse if i try to fix it.sorry

I understand it. She was asked by an animal rescue charity if she’d like to sponsor a dog. She said “to do what?”wondering if she was sponsoring a dog to do a skydive, sit in a bath of beans, or some similar fundraising thing.

Ah ok now I get it.. 😅

🤣🤣🤣🤣

At my Catholic Grammar school, once a year, each class had a retreat day. We spent the day with a visiting priest, had spiritual type chats, prayers, hymns and a Mass. We also had a confessional which was held in the Headteacher’s room. There was a tall wooden screen with a curtain, the priest sat behind it and there was an attached kneeler on our side. We went in one-by-one, knelt on the kneeler and made our confession. I was about 13 at the time, I went into the room, closed the door, stepped forward and completely missed the kneeler, knelt on the floor, and managed to push the very heavy screen over onto the priest. There was a lot of noise, from both me and the priest. I was scrabbling on the floor, trying to get up and the priest righted the screen, rushed round to ask if I was alright and to help me up. I couldn’t speak, I was so embarrassed about felling the priest, plus he would know what sins I was confessing, although being a very good child, I had nothing heinous on my conscience. I didn’t kneel down after that, I just slightly hovered over the kneeler. I couldn’t look at him for the rest of the day either.

I was so worried the next day, in case I was called to the Head’s office and asked why I had tried to brain the priest.

😂😂😂

The poor old Father!

ive just got to share this as I’ve never forgotten it
back in the day when we used buses
my young son who was about 6 at the time loved being on the top deck
at the front of the bus
I sat a fair way back as it was pretty full
up (could clearly still see him)
posters
on the side of the wall as the buses were like it is on the trains now
one was advertising DUMBO the new Disney film
my son was very good at reading
he turned round on the seat and shouted what does Climax mean?
(the poster actually read and now for the climax of the show)
the whole bus fell silent and all turned round and looked at me😱
i said I will tell you later
not happy with that answer,i was having a hot sweat and so red I was on fire
Then he shouted you know the climax of the show! thank god and everyone
was laughing
I couldn’t get off that bus quick enough
can I ever forget my son has!

That was one of most brilliant MN threads ever.

« I’m Angela Hernandez »

»No you are not »
😂😂😂😂

my friend had got a recent temping job in HR, or personnel as it was called then,
i called and the person answered Personnel, Hello personnellll i replied, taking the mickey,
no response,
it wasnt my friend

that's brilliant ! one time when I was in HDU with my son and I had crashed out on the camp bed next to him after several sleepless night. It was near Christmas and I stirred in the night to check on him only to see a 6 foot plus male nurse dressed as a Christmas elf creeping around the room complete with pointy ears . The night staff had arrived in full fancy dress for the first Christmas dress up. I thought I was dreaming at first and it gave me a bit of a start.

Still don’t get the itto..

itto = it to

sponsor it to live ( not itto)

i did the same at a wedding of my dh nephew, first of his family weddings i had ever been to, pleased to meet you to so many people

Of course. I blame it on my tiredness.