So embarrassed I wanted to die.

[Katkins17]

So I bought my shopping in Tesco...as you do....said thank you to the cashier when she gave me the receipt and my brain couldn't decide whether it wanted to say 'you're welcome' or 'no problem' so instead it shouted quite loudly to the cashier and the whole queue behind me ...

'YOU'RE THE PROBLEM'

I just stood there, with us all looking uncomfortable and not knowing what to say .... plus a few sniggers behind.

What is the worse thing you've said without meaning to ?????

A few years ago I lost my watch. This was a fairly regular occurrence - I'd take it off at the gym/swimming pool/office and not remember it.

I was very sleep deprived and not thinking straight. Went into a high street jewellers to buy a replacement watch. I was trying to explain to them that I needed a cheap one because I regularly lost my watch, and had just lost my current one, but my over tired brain kept replacing the word Watch with Job. So I was telling the poor staff member that I had lost my job, but that I'd lost 3 jobs in the last 2 years etc etc. I knew I wasn't saying the right word but I couldn't think what the correct word was.

The lovely sales assistant was incredibly sympathetic and helpful.

😂 you should have finished it off with "FUCK THE NHS" so they thought you had tourette's

I often help with wildlife rescue and had been asked to take a Hedgehog, I needed some food for it so went to Pets at home. A store employer came to ask me if I needed any help and I launched into a whole thing about how we had rescued this animal but that we did eventually hope to release it into the wild and how I had popped in for food but I knew that the store wouldn't have any experience of this animal because they only lived in the wild etc etc. I think I said we were going to feed it cat food.
However, I must have been having a moment because I kept saying "Hamster" and we standing right next to a whole load of Hamsters.
I may even have mentioned their spikes at one point.
I didn't even realise, although I thought the store emplyer was being a bit weird until we got outside and DD started laughing and told me what i had said

Thank you for the belly laugh @Katkins17 and others. I haven't cried laughing like this for a while!

Sorry 😂

Also, sympathy!

This made me really, really laugh. Poor cashier. I so hope you just held your head high and walked out without explaining. 😂😫

Answered the phone to a work contact called Barry by saying "Hi Kit it's Barry here!" to be met by silence. He called me. I appear to have taken his name for my own ...

I once told my neighbours in Tesco that I was ravishing. I was sweaty from the gym and starving hungry and looked a bit shit. I wanted to say either "I'm famished" or "I'm ravenous". 😬

My DP said "you are doing really well, darling" to her boss's boss on a zoom call, because she thought she was on mute, and was talking to me.

I’m still haunted by the time at the cashier I was thinking of cheers or thanks for when I left, and out came CHANKS at such a ‘nervous anticipatory’ volume. I went bright red and just left.

I love it when someone says something like 'enjoy your meal!' and I go 'thanks, you too!' to a waiter.

I almost you hope you are as at least the OP has explained herself!

I answered the door to an Amazon delivery driver, got my parcel and normally I would say something like “ thats lovely thanks very much” but for some reason as he was legging it back up the garden path I just shouted “thanks, I love you”….
now, to be clear “I love you” is not a phrase I use often, if at all. Not to my husband, not to my kids or even the cat 😬

This really made me lol.

My husband was once on the phone to his dentist, arranging an appointment via the receptionist. He ended the call with ‘Thank you, bye, love you’, put the phone down and didn’t realise at first why I was crying with laughing.
It still makes me laugh, so much so that I’m chuckling away typing this!

I once caught a bus and wanted to get off at a place called Cluntergate.
I said to the driver " One to Cluntergate please" but missed the L out.
🤦‍♀️🤣🤦‍♀️

I once finished a call to an important client by saying 'buboo' in a loud cheery voice rather than bye-bye. Mortified.

I did this the other day with DDs nursery staff - said something like 'That's so random' which was quite rude in context of what she'd said to me, but it was actually a combo of 2 sentences in my head. 😭 I just kind of short circuited and left lol

This made me laugh 😂😂 Poor Barry. 😂

I once whipped the door open to the Waitrose delivery guy before he had the chance to press the doorbell. He jumped back startled, so for some reason known only to myself I decided to do extravagant "jazz hands" and yell "SURPRISE!!!!!" at the top of my voice.

Absolutely mortifying

Teenage me was having dinner at a friend's. The food tasted great and I wanted to tell the mum that.

I meant to say "This is scrummy". It came out "This is scummy" 😳. I was mortified. Took me going to uni for that one to be forgotten by the family.

Thanks OP, for this thread. Absolutely brilliant replies! 😂

I did that to a casshier in the cinema recently.

• Enjoy the film!
• You too!

I knew instantly and so did they.

i saw someone i vaguely know the other day and I said the usual "oh hi how are you" and she said "oh i am fine thanks, what have you been up to?" and i just stared at her, nodded and kept walking by
i mean everyone knows you say say "good thanks, you?" and keep moving

When I was a teenager, standing in a queue to receive communion at mass, I accidentally asked the priest for 'a half please' as if I would if I was boarding the bus

my DS popped outside and left the front door unlocked, didn’t take his phone and I had no way of knowing if he had his keys on him.

I heard movement in the hallway, so I yanked the door open and said “where the hell have you been?” quite loudly. A flummoxed Amazon delivery driver silently handed me a package