Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

My kids got baby-bell wax all over my mother in laws new sofa.

438 replies

jennan · 29/12/2023 23:00

Hey,
I'm not really sure how to use this website so apologies if wrong.
So I'm at my mother in laws house for Xmas and she had just brought herself this VERY expensive sofa for herself as a self gift.
she has just had it delivered today and its a brand new white sofa, as I have two boys (6 and 7) I told them not to go on it but my mother in law INSISTED they could go on it.
they had just finished watching TV and were getting ready for bed when my husband alerted me to the fact that someone had obviously eaten a baby-bell and than somehow sat on the wax, there is now a VERY noticeable red patch on the sofa.
I have removed the excess wax but there is still a stain.
my boys and mother in law are in bed now but I dont know how to remove it.
me and my husband dont have the money to replace this sofa and my mother in law doesn't really like me as it is.
Does anyone know how to remove cheese wax from a sofa?
Thanks.

OP posts:
Redundantrobin · 30/12/2023 20:34

Mumoftwo1312 · 30/12/2023 18:29

Even if the stain were all op's fault (it isn't) I can't believe her mil kicked her out of the house for it!! But not the kids themselves!

I'd love to see the look on Sil's and Bil's faces, and their partners', when mil tries to explain the logic of that. Surely any reasonable adult would be like, WTF, you sent op home for that?!

Dh is a cruel coward. Let him stew at his mum's for the weekend then find his own way home. He'll soon remember that he's much more comfortable at home than with his bully of a mum.

Also, white sofas are tacky in a Melania Trump kind of way.

Edited

finally! White sofas are tacky AF. MIL should be thankful for the intervention.

KTSl1964 · 30/12/2023 20:43

I tell the witch to take a running jump - your hubby needs to be supporting you - well done you for leaving with YOUR children.

MeMySonAnd1 · 30/12/2023 20:49

jennan · 30/12/2023 16:12

This is going to be long 😬.
We managed to get all of the wax of the sofa but there was still a red stain.
Mil had woke up before us and noticed the stain so I was greeted with a VERY angry mil telling me of for bringing baby bells and saying I should have just brought crips or biscuits (I brought my own snacks for the boys as she mainly has ingredients with the exception of some biscuits and chocolates but I didn't just want them eating biscuits and sweet stuff the whole time)
I offered to pay for a cleaner or a new cover but she just got even more annoyed saying that it was a massive inconvenience for her and that if I were to order a new cover it wouldn't come quickly enough for this evening (Later this evening my sister and brother in law were coming with there partners and children for a mini-reunion as we didn't get to see them on Christmas as they were both busy.)
My MIL told me the argument that I was no longer invited to the reunion but my husband and sons were still invited but I wasn't????
I told her that if I was not going then neither were my boys, my MIL got quite pissy saying that it would be unfair to my nephews as they were looking forward to seeing my sons.
My DH went out quite early to meet some of his childhood friends as he grew up here and because of that he missed our argument.
I've just got home with my boys and I've just received a text from my dh telling me that his mum explained the whole situation to him and that me not letting the boys go was very immature.
I have to pick him up on Monday and apparently, my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave.
Was I in the wrong?

Show quote history

I would leave him to find his way home. How dared he? And how is your fault only that your children did that? Is he not their father?

To be honest, that attitude is quite idiotic from your MIL. Have you heard the saying “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world”? It is true, you start dragging your feet, declining invites, stop including her in activities and organise to spend Christmas and other times with some other people. It won’t be long before she would get just the random drop by short visit from her son.

This may seem terrible but it is not. She needs to understand that relationships work both ways and having those boundaries in place will protect the your relationship with your DH otherwise you will end up divorcing about her being out of order and your husband a wet blanket.

icallitasplodge · 30/12/2023 20:51

The thing is - to everyone saying the grandmother should have protected the sofa… maybe she did. With guardman insurance. Which OP has just invalidated with an iron

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/12/2023 20:52

Mumoftwo1312 · 30/12/2023 11:24

Yes...? Surely all parents of small kids only buy dark sofas with machine washable covers, I thought that was normal.

Otherwise they find themselves in a fix like op's.

Lost count of the number of times we've washed our sofa cushions. I've never had to bother with irons or ice or stain removers etc. Life is too short

Show quote history

@Mumoftwo1312

urgh no I ain’t gonna let my choice of sofa which I pay for be dictated by my kids! They can just not eat on there- simple! 😊

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/12/2023 20:53

KTSl1964 · 30/12/2023 20:43

I tell the witch to take a running jump - your hubby needs to be supporting you - well done you for leaving with YOUR children.

@KTSl1964

lol

what are you on about with the “YOUR” children?!

Truckeme · 30/12/2023 20:57

Is your husband normally this much of a knob?

Lovethewinter · 30/12/2023 21:01

I'm actually outraged for you! How has this accident/situation been twisted into something you've done? How has she got the balls to uninvite only you from the family gathering? How has he got the balls to go along with this and have a pop at you as well? I'm not a confrontational person but he fully deserves both barrels from you. DO NOT collect him on Monday. I'd send him the link for this thread with a middle finger emoji (that might be a bit immature but I'm fuming for you). Stay strong and don't mince your words to please any of them - they certainly aren't!

DysmalRadius · 30/12/2023 21:01

I'm all about taking responsibility for my kids, but if the host decides to overrule the parent's perfectly reasonable suggestion that the kids not sit on the sofa, then adds snacks to the mix, I think they bear some responsibility for the outcome.

If I say to my kids 'don't sit on the sofa' it's precisely because I don't want to have to watch their every move to make sure they don't mankify it. You can't overrule the expert's advice but still hold them responsible for the consequences.

ItsNotOkItsNotTheEnd · 30/12/2023 21:02

Why is she blaming you and banning you? What exactly does dh say to mil when she is being such a knob? What blame is he taking for the sofa or is he acting like it's all on you too?

edit to add I can see why she is mad about the sofa but she should be cross at you both not just you and excluding you from a reunion but expecting everyone else is a dickhead move

SmileyClare · 30/12/2023 21:07

icallitasplodge · 30/12/2023 20:51

The thing is - to everyone saying the grandmother should have protected the sofa… maybe she did. With guardman insurance. Which OP has just invalidated with an iron

😂 I imagining it looked ok at midnight but in the bright day light of morning there were brown marks, the red dye had been nicely smudged and set and the material had gone all weird and shiny in the way fabric does when the irons too hot.

And Why has everyone started calling Babybel “Baby Bell”

Im hoping there’s a bit of story telling going on here because this whole thing is shockingly unfair on the poor innocent op, like some awful Eastenders Christmas episode where everything kicks off and the DIL gets told she’s not Family.

Arthursmom · 30/12/2023 21:07

This is insane 😂 good riddance. Like hell I’d leave my kids there

MerryBlueberry · 30/12/2023 21:10

Of croise you weren’t in the wrong to leave. Why is the blame on you and not your DH? Remind him he only got her side of the argument.
She want3 you to leave your sons with her and be banished? How far away do you live? Of course you shouldn’t have left them behind. No sane person would ask that

PurplePansy05 · 30/12/2023 21:27

I'd be prepping a divorce petition if he backed his DM in kicking you out and keeping everyone else in, I'm serious. Your MIL clearly doesn't like you which isn't uncommon in MIL-DIL relationships, but you have one issue in life and that is not the bloody sofa stain, but your twat of a 'husband'.

EekGoesTheBaby · 30/12/2023 22:03

BarbaraWoodlouse · 30/12/2023 19:24

A Baby-Bell End in fact…

Show quote history

😅

KTSl1964 · 30/12/2023 22:12

Hi lucky it seems the MIL thinks she owns the grandchildren and can exclude you - I’d seriously think of going no contact. Which idiot buys a white settee with children around. 😁

RiddlePiddle · 30/12/2023 22:14

Remind your husband that he was just as complicit in all of this as you, what with the trying to hide the evidence/resolve the situation last night. IMO opinion this is all on him now and he can sort out his mothers sofa as well as all the fallout. Don’t you dare take any more shit now for any of this. You want an apology from DH and preferably with him encouraging one from his mother. He clearly knows what a dick she is given that she refused to go to her own sons wedding for whatever reason. I am furious on your behalf OP, at both your DH and you MIL!

SmileyClare · 30/12/2023 22:35

I find it odd that dh was completely on your side last night. He didn’t blame you and went to some lengths to remove the stains himself- even driving to the supermarket in the middle of the night.
Did you discuss what you’d say in the morning?

Now he’s angry with you and saying you’ve been immature? Is there any truth to that?

How exactly did this argument with mil unfold?
iWas she annoyed and you a bit accusing, not taking responsibility and it escalated?

Did you snap and say you weren’t staying any longer, at which point she asked if the boys could still come to the planned gathering with their cousins?

Are you both quite hotheaded and reactive? Or is she just out to get you, in which case why did she invite you to stay- you said things had been amicable lately?

And the most important question- what does “Babybel all over the sofa (as per your thread title) actually look like?

Your op says You and dh let the dc stay up and watch tv and at bedtime noticed one of them had obviously eaten a Babybel on the sofa and sat in the wrapper.

There’s no way mil had insisted the children do that surely? I’m assuming the snacks she gave earlier are a red herring and not connected to the Babybel one of them was eating while getting ready for bed.

Riceball · 30/12/2023 22:45

I’d be checking dh’s trousers for baby bel if I were you op. He’s acting very suspiciously as well as being a nob.

SmileyClare · 30/12/2023 22:47

I think Baby bellend is the perfect description for dh.

RedToothBrush · 30/12/2023 23:26

DontPutTheKidsThroughIt · 30/12/2023 20:14

’Eat standing up in front of the sofa’ is an absolutely idiotic instruction. It’s totally unnatural, so the kids are quite likely to forget if they’re distracted by something (conversation, cartoons, pets). And it’s entirely possible to follow the instruction and eat standing up and still get food on the sofa because you still have traces on your clothes/faces/hands and you sit down immediately instead of going to wash your hands etc before sitting on the sofa.

Show quote history

Quite at that point the OP should have been going fuck off mil that's ridiculous why the hell are they eating in here at all with you treating in this manner, it's not fucking on.

RedToothBrush · 30/12/2023 23:31

icallitasplodge · 30/12/2023 20:51

The thing is - to everyone saying the grandmother should have protected the sofa… maybe she did. With guardman insurance. Which OP has just invalidated with an iron

Anyone rich enough to afford a white sofa should be rich enough to replace it. Regardless of any protection they take out.

Because it's white and it's inevitable it will get chuffed and it won't be covered by the insurance. Cos they'd be no way anyone would sell white sofas otherwise because they'd never make any money.

SmileyClare · 30/12/2023 23:32

StinkyWizzleteets · 30/12/2023 19:11

I understand why your MIL was angry. the colour of her sofa is irrelevant she made a rule, the rule a was broken.

At first there was no mention you gave the kids the babybel and it sounded like it was the granny but turns out you took your own snacks and that your kids, disobeying her orders not to eat on the sofa, not only did just that but made a mess. Where were you as they snacked on the food you provided? Have you not taught them enough manners to know you don’t chuck wrappers on the seat?

I’d have been grovelling like fuck if it had all been my doing but I sense an attitude from you OP and your indignance at being kicked out suggests perhaps your attitude was obvious with the mil too. I’m guessing there’s a lot more backstory to the disfunctional relationship with your in-laws and that perhaps their side of the story would be somewhat different to yours

Your husband is another issue. Good luck with that one. What a clusterfuck all designed to ensure your kids didn’t get some biscuits from granny.

Yeah I think this is nearer the truth.

You brought the kids favourite bedtime snack and let them eat them while watching a movie on the sofa? it sounds like granny was in bed when you all got up and saw THE STAIN

Mistakes happen- you don’t deserve to be ejected from the house-but it’s best to own the part you may have played. Maybe that’s why you’re asking if you’re in the wrong?
It’s not a weakness to admit that. People respond far better to honesty and accountability than they do to a list of excuses trying to deflect any blame.

I hope you’re ok. I’m not taking yours or your mills side but for whatever reasons- it all escalated ridiculously.

SomeCatFromJapan · 30/12/2023 23:37

Why are you all blaming OP and not the husband who was equally there parenting?

Either MIL should be pissed off with both of them or neither of them.

The fact that Golden Balls is taking mummy's side against his own wife in this sexism-fest is unforgivable.

SmileyClare · 30/12/2023 23:55

I’m not blaming op. Nothings black and white in real life with a hero and a villain in the story.

I’d guess that dh thought he’d done enough to remove the stain and thought his mum wouldn’t notice.
He probably didn’t give it any more thought. Why else wouldn’t he and op discuss (at the time) how to handle it in the morning? Op was making jokes about buying the kids cheddar to eat next time and laughing. Neither overly worried?

The next thing his mum is on the phone crying saying dils left in a rage with the children and has been immature.

Hes a fool for taking his mums version of events as the truth. Obviously he has a low opinion of you and believes you can react immaturely about things.

If dh wants to jeopardising his marital relationship for the sake of keeping the peace with his mum, then that’s far more serious than a sofa cushion.