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Original poster

My kids got baby-bell wax all over my mother in laws new sofa.

438 replies

jennan · 29/12/2023 23:00

Hey,
I'm not really sure how to use this website so apologies if wrong.
So I'm at my mother in laws house for Xmas and she had just brought herself this VERY expensive sofa for herself as a self gift.
she has just had it delivered today and its a brand new white sofa, as I have two boys (6 and 7) I told them not to go on it but my mother in law INSISTED they could go on it.
they had just finished watching TV and were getting ready for bed when my husband alerted me to the fact that someone had obviously eaten a baby-bell and than somehow sat on the wax, there is now a VERY noticeable red patch on the sofa.
I have removed the excess wax but there is still a stain.
my boys and mother in law are in bed now but I dont know how to remove it.
me and my husband dont have the money to replace this sofa and my mother in law doesn't really like me as it is.
Does anyone know how to remove cheese wax from a sofa?
Thanks.

OP posts:
squigglygiggly · 30/12/2023 19:51

Your dh is a dick. I would never speak to that woman again other than to tell her to take her anger out on her son as his dc messed up the sofa. I would seriously question my marriage to such a spineless idiot

Jamjaris · 30/12/2023 19:52

I had no idea the wax on baby bells stained and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

Your husband went to Morrisons to see if they had any ice to remove the wax on sofa and then went out so he didn’t have to be in his mothers firing line when she awoke - what a coward! And then when the shit hits the fan and you leave after MIL goes ape he then come back and says your being immature. Who in their right mind would leave the children with an angry grandmother? She would’ve been livid and took it out on them, who would disinvite a dil for an accident? You offered to get it professionally cleaned so balls to letting her berate you again.

I would ring husband up and give him both barrels and tell him he can either stay at his mums permanently or once he comes to his senses he can make his own way home and apologise for being such a twat

HowToSaveAWife · 30/12/2023 19:52

Grimchmas · 30/12/2023 19:43

So many posters who either lack reading comprehension skills or just can't be arrested to click to read all the OP's posts.

OP took snacks for her kids. This is a very normal thing. Babybel is a normal snack for children.

OP tried to make a rule no kids in the sofa to prevent accidents. MIL over ruled that.

MIL handed out the babybel to the kids. Next to The Sofa. Then it seems that MIL left them eating babybel next to the sofa unsupervised, which was a grade A: Dick Move. She should have known this because she has raised children herself.

OP has tried to get it out, apologised and offered remedy. To a woman who she knows hates her.

The human they have in common knew this was going to go badly, and fucked off out of the house before it did, then doubled down on blaming his wife and not standing up to his mother.

OP refused to leave children there which frankly was common sense. Who knows what other stains would have ended up in The Sofa, and as Chief Scapegoat I imagine she is sick of this BS.

Ah now, fucking arresting PPs to read the previous posts would be a bit far @Grimchmas ...

Manchester1990 · 30/12/2023 19:54

Your MIL is a dick but your husband is 1000 times worse and you should leave him.
hes clearly allowed him mother to treat you like crap for years and not protected his wife.

you deserve better.

squigglygiggly · 30/12/2023 19:54

I'm raging for you. Your husband thinks it is ok for his mother to banish you??? Banish his wife??? Fuck him. Fucking fuck the fuck. Seriously OP. They are both the worst people

Blueink · 30/12/2023 19:56

Lunde · 30/12/2023 18:33

I read this that OP had taken the snacks to MIL's house - not that she gave them to them on the sofa.

Indeed OP writes

  • that she didn't want her kids to sit on the sofa to avoid the risk - but MIL overruled her
  • That MIL brought the snacks over to the sofa and placed them next to the sofa but expected the kids to stand up to eat and then sit. It's possible that a bit of wax was caught on clothing when the kids were stood to eat so that the kids didn't actually disobey MIL
Show quote history

OPs update muddied the water.

If I had brought waxed covered cheese into MIL house I would’ve wanted to supervise my DC eating it, wouldn’t you?

StaunchMomma · 30/12/2023 19:57

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 19:51

And you seem to have neglected to note that the OP said the mother in law told the children that they were NOT to eat the cheese sitting on the sofa but were to eat it standing up. It was for the parents to supervise their children and to make sure that they followed a simple instruction, not the mother in law. The children aren't babies and are old enough to know how to behave, but if you take your children to someone else's house, it's up to the parents to make sure they do as they have been told.

Show quote history

The kids DID eat the Babybel standing up, didn't they? They just accidentally dropped some of the wax casing and then sat back down on it.

Superduper02 · 30/12/2023 19:58

Heyhoherewegoagain · 30/12/2023 16:17

I think come Monday I’d be delivering his clothes etc to his mum’s house

Do you know what I mean!?! What an absolute arse wipe of a man!!

Ramalangadingdong · 30/12/2023 19:59

SmellyKat10 · 29/12/2023 23:06

Can you just turn the cushion over (and leave asap)

I can tell you've got form for this sort of thing. Hahaha.

Ramalangadingdong · 30/12/2023 20:03

SomeCatFromJapan · 30/12/2023 18:54

I'd be so hurt by my DH behavour if I were you.

Me too. as some have already suggested I wouldn't pick him up but would tell him to say with Mother Dear.

Moonshine5 · 30/12/2023 20:04

The wax is the least of your problems.

Superduper02 · 30/12/2023 20:07

It actually beggars belief that he has not come home and expects to be chauffeured home on Monday. If that were me, I'd tell him he better be home tomorrow or expect to stay at MIL forthwith. Family gathering or not, you need to back yourself to your DH, not just your MIL. However OP, I agree you've been set up to fail. Also for there to be an argument when your DH is out shows that she fully expected to corner you and exclude you. She knows DH won't back you and he has shown again that he won't.

PuffyShirt · 30/12/2023 20:10

It was an (admittedly avoidable) accident which you’ve made every effort to make good.

Your husband sounds as bad as his mother. For that spectacular lack of support, I’d be telling him to stay there.

Matronic6 · 30/12/2023 20:13

Not sure if someone has recommended or a a bit tool late but I have found Dr beckmanns upholstery cleaner removes all stains.

Agree with others that your husband has completely let you down. I would be furious.

SmileyClare · 30/12/2023 20:14

I’m raising an eyebrow.

No sane person reacts with rage, vile insults and accusations and angrily throws a guest out of their house if said guest humbly apologises for a stain first thing in the morning and offers to take responsibility for the damage and cover cleaning costs.

Did you do this op or were you up with the children, not mentioning the stain , hoping she wouldn’t notice (which is a little immature ) and then very defensive and accusatory when mil spotted it?

This is all recounted with you being the very innocent victim and she a monster.

it seems more likely this escalated into a row because you both started blaming each other and both said things you probably regret. Perhaps in anger you weaponised the kids and flounced out.

Ive no idea how you come back from this.

Your dh has let you down very badly. He either doesn’t give a shit about you or he is absolutely terrified of his mother and has no balls.

DontPutTheKidsThroughIt · 30/12/2023 20:14

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 19:51

And you seem to have neglected to note that the OP said the mother in law told the children that they were NOT to eat the cheese sitting on the sofa but were to eat it standing up. It was for the parents to supervise their children and to make sure that they followed a simple instruction, not the mother in law. The children aren't babies and are old enough to know how to behave, but if you take your children to someone else's house, it's up to the parents to make sure they do as they have been told.

Show quote history

’Eat standing up in front of the sofa’ is an absolutely idiotic instruction. It’s totally unnatural, so the kids are quite likely to forget if they’re distracted by something (conversation, cartoons, pets). And it’s entirely possible to follow the instruction and eat standing up and still get food on the sofa because you still have traces on your clothes/faces/hands and you sit down immediately instead of going to wash your hands etc before sitting on the sofa.

Grimchmas · 30/12/2023 20:16

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 19:51

And you seem to have neglected to note that the OP said the mother in law told the children that they were NOT to eat the cheese sitting on the sofa but were to eat it standing up. It was for the parents to supervise their children and to make sure that they followed a simple instruction, not the mother in law. The children aren't babies and are old enough to know how to behave, but if you take your children to someone else's house, it's up to the parents to make sure they do as they have been told.

Show quote history

We have no evidence that either parent was even aware that MIL had given them snacks. Perhaps they weren't in the room and weren't aware, that's what I get the impression of.

Yes children should have done as they are told - but even well raised kids make errors, and why is the mother to blame not the father?

Hiddenpeople · 30/12/2023 20:17

I would’ve bought a load more babybells and left the kids there with them…

You’ve done the right thing op. Your dh is spineless.

Grimchmas · 30/12/2023 20:22

I like @Hiddenpeople's idea.

You could do one of those one hour deliveries from tesco and send 500 babybels to the party 🥳

Zapzep · 30/12/2023 20:26

I think you have to accept some responsibility here, I would have told the kids to sit some where else or even on the floor to eat the cheese.

have professional cleaner in to remove the stain or find out how to replace the cushion cover if necessary.

There is no need for small red patch on the sofa to ruin the rest of the festivities, she can just cover it with a sheet or something.

arguing or looking to lay blame, or causing a family rift is ridiculous and won’t achieve anything.

abisothergran · 30/12/2023 20:27

As a grandmother I think your MIL has only herself to blame .If she must have a white sofa in a room with visiting young grandchildren she should have it well covered and given grandchildren a place well away from sofa to eat their snacks.She is also clearly sexist and her sons behaviour reflects badly on his upbringing.

stillplentyofjunkinthetrunk · 30/12/2023 20:29

Hmmmbetterchangethis · 29/12/2023 23:02

Iron and tissue?

I think this is the right approach BUT

  1. I agree google first &
  2. tell mil first as whatever you do to fix may well make it worse so don't do anything to fix it without her permission.
SmileyClare · 30/12/2023 20:32

Theunamedcat · 30/12/2023 18:14

Op bought the baby bel to the house who gave it to the children

I think this has been established!

But was it calculated? A cunning act of revenge for mil not coming to your wedding? 😂

I don’t believe you didn’t anticipate this when you saw the bowl of cheese in their red waxy wrappers and your children on the dazzling white sofa with their hot little hands.

Why were you laughing like a maniac last night about it if you knew mil was a psychopath?

Did you and dh not plan how to broach this with his mum before you went to bed?

Notonthestairs · 30/12/2023 20:33

"have professional cleaner in to remove the stain or find out how to replace the cushion cover if necessary."

The Op offered this. It wasnt good enough for the MIL. hence the Op being excluded from the family gathering.

Zone2NorthLondon · 30/12/2023 20:33

Dearie me. Kids and baby belle is a hot mess(literally) mil gave the baby belle she should have supervised or peeled the baby belle
The ensuing row was very heated and unfortunately escalated with the mil going fully nuclear a somewhat OTT reaction
The husband has been slippery and won’t get involved or challenge the mil and her ranty out pouring