Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

My kids got baby-bell wax all over my mother in laws new sofa.

438 replies

jennan · 29/12/2023 23:00

Hey,
I'm not really sure how to use this website so apologies if wrong.
So I'm at my mother in laws house for Xmas and she had just brought herself this VERY expensive sofa for herself as a self gift.
she has just had it delivered today and its a brand new white sofa, as I have two boys (6 and 7) I told them not to go on it but my mother in law INSISTED they could go on it.
they had just finished watching TV and were getting ready for bed when my husband alerted me to the fact that someone had obviously eaten a baby-bell and than somehow sat on the wax, there is now a VERY noticeable red patch on the sofa.
I have removed the excess wax but there is still a stain.
my boys and mother in law are in bed now but I dont know how to remove it.
me and my husband dont have the money to replace this sofa and my mother in law doesn't really like me as it is.
Does anyone know how to remove cheese wax from a sofa?
Thanks.

OP posts:
NettleTea · 30/12/2023 18:48

with a suspicious mind I would almost say that the MIL set OP up to fail.

Any fool knows that 2 young lads on a brand new white sofa, with not even a throw for protection, is a potential for disaster - if only from dirty shoes / socks / outdoor clothes and wriggly moves.

OP knew. She told the boys to keep away from the precious thing, but MIL INSISTED they should sit there, and then even brought the snacks and put them right next to the sofa, with the weird proviso that they need to stand up to eat. Which in itself is something young kids are likely to forget.

Even more, she gave them the baby bells, she didnt even open them and peel them and take away the wax.

She is either a foolhardy idiot, or this was a plan to kick off and exclude OP all along

SomeCatFromJapan · 30/12/2023 18:54

I'd be so hurt by my DH behavour if I were you.

TheSunIsOutAndTheSkyIsBlue · 30/12/2023 19:01

squidgybits · 30/12/2023 18:40

google it - an iron over kitchen towel would be my method

Watch out - Trigg's here

crew2022 · 30/12/2023 19:01

Your mil uninvited you from the gathering due to a sofa stain and YOU are the one who is immature?? How ridiculous. She may have been annoyed about the babybels (although why let the kids eat there at all???) but to I invite you?

Nonimai · 30/12/2023 19:02

Don’t do anything except tell her. When we bought our sofas we bought insurance with them and were specifically told - if you get a mark - don’t touch the sofa let theprofessionals do it. I don’t mean to be mean but by secretly trying to get it off you may have made matters a lot worse.

Motomum23 · 30/12/2023 19:05

I haven't read all the replies since your last update but I would be raging at my husband in your shoes. You are not the ONLY adult responsible for the mess and if she had the gall to send you packing how on earth did she expect you not to take your children with you. Get your husband to make his own way home. What a complete mummy's boy@

Nazzywish · 30/12/2023 19:06

Oh dear OP. Why didn't your husband come home as soon as he was told you'd been effectively kicked out.
Im sympathetic to mil being upset with the new sofa ruined, as much as we may not understand it she seems quite household and did tell the boys to stand up eating etc so they should've been kept an eye on but accidents happen so that's that. She probably reacted in the Hest of the moment saying what she did but your husband is the problem here. Is he not equally responsible? So how can he just stay. He's a problem OP.

Andthereyougo · 30/12/2023 19:11

OP, you’ve offered to replace the cushion or get it professionally cleaned, you’ve done all you can to rectify the situation.
I think you did the right thing leaving , this would have run and run with a new audience. Leave your DH to deal with it. If you have to see MIL on Monday repeat your offer to rectify the problem.

StaunchMomma · 30/12/2023 19:11

I can't believe what I'm reading!

What a cowardly shit your DH is! On MANY counts!

I do hope he knew about this thread. He deserves to hear what a giant twunt he's being.

Have a lovely weekend with your kids, OP and tell the arsehole to make his own way home.

StinkyWizzleteets · 30/12/2023 19:11

I understand why your MIL was angry. the colour of her sofa is irrelevant she made a rule, the rule a was broken.

At first there was no mention you gave the kids the babybel and it sounded like it was the granny but turns out you took your own snacks and that your kids, disobeying her orders not to eat on the sofa, not only did just that but made a mess. Where were you as they snacked on the food you provided? Have you not taught them enough manners to know you don’t chuck wrappers on the seat?

I’d have been grovelling like fuck if it had all been my doing but I sense an attitude from you OP and your indignance at being kicked out suggests perhaps your attitude was obvious with the mil too. I’m guessing there’s a lot more backstory to the disfunctional relationship with your in-laws and that perhaps their side of the story would be somewhat different to yours

Your husband is another issue. Good luck with that one. What a clusterfuck all designed to ensure your kids didn’t get some biscuits from granny.

Nazzywish · 30/12/2023 19:11

Also no way should you go Monday. You need to speak to DH to understand why he hasn't backed you up or come home before she starts ww3 at her place.

HaveSomeIntrospect · 30/12/2023 19:17

Your dh has thrown you under the bus

101Nutella · 30/12/2023 19:19

She’s set you up to fail here.
please don’t take this on mentally or emotionally. She’s never going to like you and you’ve done nothing wrong.

accidents happen with kids and pets. She as the host should have taken steps to help that eg covers or no eating on the sofa. You’ve offered to pay professionally- that’s all you can do. I’d be firm about that eg
ive offered you a solution. It was an accident and we are sorry.

your husband shouldn’t be going alone. Why is his mother only picking on you when you didn’t rub the cheese in to the sofa? He should be standing up for you. I think he is enabling this behaviour.

could I suggest you only meet her in public places and have very low contact from now on. You don’t deserve to be abused by so called family. If your husband doesn’t stand up for you he might need rehoming too?

LimePi · 30/12/2023 19:20

What the hell?
your DH is out of order here for not supporting you.
so HER grandsons ate babybels that SHE gave them (nevermind who brought them into the house, she gave them when they were on a sofa)
and she disinvited only YOU but not said grandsons!?
and your DH thinks its reasonable??
F THAT

Inertia · 30/12/2023 19:23

Assuming this is real, I have questions...

  • Why is it your fault that the stain ended up on the sofa? Surely your husband, as the other parent, is equally culpable?
  • Who was supervising the children while they ate standing up at the side table? Surely the adults didn't all vacate the room while fairly young children were eating (standing up!)
  • Why didn't you insist on your children eating in the kitchen/ at the dining table, given that the sofa was new and precious?
  • Have you considered the possibility that MIL has deliberately set this up to cause an argument?
  • How did the babybel get onto the sofa? Have you actually asked your children what happened?
  • Have you asked your husband why you are being punished, given that your children probably left the stain and are the people most likely to cause further damage?
  • Why on earth would you pick your husband up if he is refusing to support you in this?
BarbaraWoodlouse · 30/12/2023 19:24

Blueink · 30/12/2023 18:20

You didn’t say before that you provided the snacks yourself. You should have supervised them as well in that case.

DH sounds like a bell end.

No-one comes off well in this scenario.

A Baby-Bell End in fact…

Tel12 · 30/12/2023 19:30

Our new sofa was treated for stain resistance, and it's not even white. Your husband should have come home too. This situation is plainly ridiculous. It's just a sofa

theconfidenceofwho · 30/12/2023 19:30

NettleTea · 30/12/2023 18:48

with a suspicious mind I would almost say that the MIL set OP up to fail.

Any fool knows that 2 young lads on a brand new white sofa, with not even a throw for protection, is a potential for disaster - if only from dirty shoes / socks / outdoor clothes and wriggly moves.

OP knew. She told the boys to keep away from the precious thing, but MIL INSISTED they should sit there, and then even brought the snacks and put them right next to the sofa, with the weird proviso that they need to stand up to eat. Which in itself is something young kids are likely to forget.

Even more, she gave them the baby bells, she didnt even open them and peel them and take away the wax.

She is either a foolhardy idiot, or this was a plan to kick off and exclude OP all along

I think you're right.

@jennan sorry but your DH is a spineless horrid man. No way should he let his mum treat you this way. He should have your back at all times.

diddl · 30/12/2023 19:33

with a suspicious mind I would almost say that the MIL set OP up to fail.

Only if she thinks that Op is the only parent?

TheSunIsOutAndTheSkyIsBlue · 30/12/2023 19:34

@jennan There is another thread currently going called "Overhead conversation" [sic] where the husband has taken the blame (correctly) and NOT thrown his wife under the bus, and the MiL has sent her DiL a lovely text - peace restored.

Your husband could learn a lot reading that.

NettleTea · 30/12/2023 19:36

diddl · 30/12/2023 19:33

with a suspicious mind I would almost say that the MIL set OP up to fail.

Only if she thinks that Op is the only parent?

she possibly knew that OPd husband was out to see his friends in the morning so would be able to blame OP

but then Im working on the 'suspicious mind' theory.

GreatGateauxsby · 30/12/2023 19:40

Two words.

FUCK. THAT.

This is a hill I would die on. Justice and truth are on your side…

food for thought

your MIL put the fucking snacks out not you.

Your DH is also the boys parent and was there…so why are you getting it in the neck not him?

Why did he cock off to leave you with the fall out?

why did he think it’s okay for your MIL to decline all the reasonable remedies you suggested?

Why is he not defending you to her?

Why are you even contemplating picking him up? I’d tell him now he needs to sort it himself.

sod the pair of them.

what arseholes!

Grimchmas · 30/12/2023 19:43

So many posters who either lack reading comprehension skills or just can't be arrested to click to read all the OP's posts.

OP took snacks for her kids. This is a very normal thing. Babybel is a normal snack for children.

OP tried to make a rule no kids in the sofa to prevent accidents. MIL over ruled that.

MIL handed out the babybel to the kids. Next to The Sofa. Then it seems that MIL left them eating babybel next to the sofa unsupervised, which was a grade A: Dick Move. She should have known this because she has raised children herself.

OP has tried to get it out, apologised and offered remedy. To a woman who she knows hates her.

The human they have in common knew this was going to go badly, and fucked off out of the house before it did, then doubled down on blaming his wife and not standing up to his mother.

OP refused to leave children there which frankly was common sense. Who knows what other stains would have ended up in The Sofa, and as Chief Scapegoat I imagine she is sick of this BS.

UngratefulOldCabbage · 30/12/2023 19:44

Urgh, your husband sounds like a spineless prick.
Go read the recent 'ick' thread on here - after this display of wimpy, non supportive, pathetic behaviour I wouldn't want him anywhere near me again if he was mine!

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 19:51

Grimchmas · 30/12/2023 19:43

So many posters who either lack reading comprehension skills or just can't be arrested to click to read all the OP's posts.

OP took snacks for her kids. This is a very normal thing. Babybel is a normal snack for children.

OP tried to make a rule no kids in the sofa to prevent accidents. MIL over ruled that.

MIL handed out the babybel to the kids. Next to The Sofa. Then it seems that MIL left them eating babybel next to the sofa unsupervised, which was a grade A: Dick Move. She should have known this because she has raised children herself.

OP has tried to get it out, apologised and offered remedy. To a woman who she knows hates her.

The human they have in common knew this was going to go badly, and fucked off out of the house before it did, then doubled down on blaming his wife and not standing up to his mother.

OP refused to leave children there which frankly was common sense. Who knows what other stains would have ended up in The Sofa, and as Chief Scapegoat I imagine she is sick of this BS.

And you seem to have neglected to note that the OP said the mother in law told the children that they were NOT to eat the cheese sitting on the sofa but were to eat it standing up. It was for the parents to supervise their children and to make sure that they followed a simple instruction, not the mother in law. The children aren't babies and are old enough to know how to behave, but if you take your children to someone else's house, it's up to the parents to make sure they do as they have been told.