Page 13 | My kids got baby-bell wax all over my mother in laws new sofa.

jennan · 2023-12-29T23:00:22+00:00

Hey, I'm not really sure how to use this website so apologies if wrong. So I'm at my mother in laws house for Xmas and she had just brought herself this VERY expensive sofa for herself as a self gift. she has just had it delivered today and its a brand new white sofa, as I have two boys (6 and 7) I told them not to go on it but my mother in law INSISTED they could go on it. they had just finished watching TV and were getting ready for bed when my husband alerted me to the fact that someone had obviously eaten a baby-bell and than somehow sat on the wax, there is now a VERY noticeable red patch on the sofa. I have removed the excess wax but there is still a stain. my boys and mother in law are in bed now but I dont know how to remove it. me and my husband dont have the money to replace this sofa and my mother in law doesn't really like me as it is. Does anyone know how to remove cheese wax from a sofa? Thanks.

Whenthebirdssing · 30/12/2023 18:17

jennan · 30/12/2023 16:12

This is going to be long 😬.
We managed to get all of the wax of the sofa but there was still a red stain.
Mil had woke up before us and noticed the stain so I was greeted with a VERY angry mil telling me of for bringing baby bells and saying I should have just brought crips or biscuits (I brought my own snacks for the boys as she mainly has ingredients with the exception of some biscuits and chocolates but I didn't just want them eating biscuits and sweet stuff the whole time)
I offered to pay for a cleaner or a new cover but she just got even more annoyed saying that it was a massive inconvenience for her and that if I were to order a new cover it wouldn't come quickly enough for this evening (Later this evening my sister and brother in law were coming with there partners and children for a mini-reunion as we didn't get to see them on Christmas as they were both busy.)
My MIL told me the argument that I was no longer invited to the reunion but my husband and sons were still invited but I wasn't????
I told her that if I was not going then neither were my boys, my MIL got quite pissy saying that it would be unfair to my nephews as they were looking forward to seeing my sons.
My DH went out quite early to meet some of his childhood friends as he grew up here and because of that he missed our argument.
I've just got home with my boys and I've just received a text from my dh telling me that his mum explained the whole situation to him and that me not letting the boys go was very immature.
I have to pick him up on Monday and apparently, my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave.
Was I in the wrong?

Show quote history

Wow. So she goes against your rules and allows kids to eat on her new sofa. Your DH is also there and could have supervised.

But this is your fault? And you are uninvited?

Where are the grown ups in this family?

Did your DH not take any responsibility? What does monster in law blame you?

AInightingale · 30/12/2023 18:19

Decent husband would have taken the blame himself. 'Sorry mum, I wasn't watching MY/OUR children closely enough, we should have listened to (OP).' She can forgive her precious son by the sound of things. Instead he clears off and leaves his wife to face the music! What a spineless prat.

StBrides · 30/12/2023 18:19

Right so your children ave 2 parents but only one of them bears any responsibility for them getting wax on the new sofa?

...and it's not your husband.

And in spite of you warning your MIL not to let them eat babybels on the new white sofa it's still your fault and none of it hers?

And after a small stain which is partially her fault (certainly more hers than yours!) you've been shunned from a family event?

...in spite of you going to great lengths to remedy the situation which was not of your making?

...and but everyone else who bears shares in responsibility for The Red Stain is still welcome?

And, finally, your husband thinks you're immature??

Well. I certainly wouldn't be collecting him when he's ready to come home, that's for damn sure.

Blueink · 30/12/2023 18:20

You didn’t say before that you provided the snacks yourself. You should have supervised them as well in that case.

DH sounds like a bell end.

No-one comes off well in this scenario.

Lunde · 30/12/2023 18:26

Growlybear83 · 30/12/2023 17:39

And she told them not to eat on the sofa. Of course it's the parents' responsibility to supervise their children if they can't understand basic instructions.

So why did she bring the snacks and place them next to the sofa then? Really MIL was asking for trouble placing snacks next to a white sofa. And why is it all OP's fault? - the DH was sat on the sofa, indeed he was the one who noticed the stain, so why is he absolved?

RedToothBrush · 30/12/2023 18:27

You husband can stay at his mothers and sleep on her precious white sofa, cos I wouldn't be letting back him in my house until he apologised after sending that text.

LaurieStrode · 30/12/2023 18:28

AInightingale · 30/12/2023 18:19

Decent husband would have taken the blame himself. 'Sorry mum, I wasn't watching MY/OUR children closely enough, we should have listened to (OP).' She can forgive her precious son by the sound of things. Instead he clears off and leaves his wife to face the music! What a spineless prat.

This. An all-around nasty family.

It would be a cold day in hell before I'd schlep out to pick him up. Let them drive him home.

peachgreen · 30/12/2023 18:28

Your children should have been more closely supervised by whichever adult was responsible for them at the time they were eating snacks.

Your mother in law is entirely unreasonable to blame you and to uninvite you from a family gathering.

But most of all, your DH is a prick.

Mumoftwo1312 · 30/12/2023 18:29

Even if the stain were all op's fault (it isn't) I can't believe her mil kicked her out of the house for it!! But not the kids themselves!

I'd love to see the look on Sil's and Bil's faces, and their partners', when mil tries to explain the logic of that. Surely any reasonable adult would be like, WTF, you sent op home for that?!

Dh is a cruel coward. Let him stew at his mum's for the weekend then find his own way home. He'll soon remember that he's much more comfortable at home than with his bully of a mum.

Also, white sofas are tacky in a Melania Trump kind of way.

ChedderGorgeous · 30/12/2023 18:29

jennan · 30/12/2023 16:12

This is going to be long 😬.
We managed to get all of the wax of the sofa but there was still a red stain.
Mil had woke up before us and noticed the stain so I was greeted with a VERY angry mil telling me of for bringing baby bells and saying I should have just brought crips or biscuits (I brought my own snacks for the boys as she mainly has ingredients with the exception of some biscuits and chocolates but I didn't just want them eating biscuits and sweet stuff the whole time)
I offered to pay for a cleaner or a new cover but she just got even more annoyed saying that it was a massive inconvenience for her and that if I were to order a new cover it wouldn't come quickly enough for this evening (Later this evening my sister and brother in law were coming with there partners and children for a mini-reunion as we didn't get to see them on Christmas as they were both busy.)
My MIL told me the argument that I was no longer invited to the reunion but my husband and sons were still invited but I wasn't????
I told her that if I was not going then neither were my boys, my MIL got quite pissy saying that it would be unfair to my nephews as they were looking forward to seeing my sons.
My DH went out quite early to meet some of his childhood friends as he grew up here and because of that he missed our argument.
I've just got home with my boys and I've just received a text from my dh telling me that his mum explained the whole situation to him and that me not letting the boys go was very immature.
I have to pick him up on Monday and apparently, my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave.
Was I in the wrong?

Show quote history

Trial by ice and Fire and MIL.

LaurieStrode · 30/12/2023 18:29

Although I must add that 6 and 7 are a bit old to be making a toddler-type mess. If they eat babybel often they must know that the wax has to be disposed of properly and can stain.

RedToothBrush · 30/12/2023 18:30

SlightlyJaded · 30/12/2023 18:16

Babybel incident - you and DH equally at fault.

The rest - DH at fault. MIL as well, but she didn't take vows with you. Your DH does not have your back. When push comes to shove he is out with his mates and ganging up on you with his batshit mother. Utterly despicable behaviour.

Fuck that OP.

And there wouldn't be a problem in the first fucking place if the MIL wasn't a dickhead who bought a white sofa which children were going to use.

I hope your DH or MIL spills red wine all over it tonight or tomorrow.

Wouldn't that just be justice?

strawberry2017 · 30/12/2023 18:32

Your husband is a dick. He should have stuck up for you. This isn't your fault, you didn't deserve to be banned from the event. They are his children to so he's just as much to blame.
I would pick him up if I had no choice but u would leave the kids with someone else and have it out with both of them.

driftingdownintomiami · 30/12/2023 18:33

I can't get past the OP and husband letting her kids eat babybels she'd provided while sitting on her MILs new white sofa 😂 I mean talk about a recipe for disaster.

Lunde · 30/12/2023 18:33

Blueink · 30/12/2023 18:20

You didn’t say before that you provided the snacks yourself. You should have supervised them as well in that case.

DH sounds like a bell end.

No-one comes off well in this scenario.

I read this that OP had taken the snacks to MIL's house - not that she gave them to them on the sofa.

Indeed OP writes

that she didn't want her kids to sit on the sofa to avoid the risk - but MIL overruled her
That MIL brought the snacks over to the sofa and placed them next to the sofa but expected the kids to stand up to eat and then sit. It's possible that a bit of wax was caught on clothing when the kids were stood to eat so that the kids didn't actually disobey MIL

Lunde · 30/12/2023 18:35

driftingdownintomiami · 30/12/2023 18:33

I can't get past the OP and husband letting her kids eat babybels she'd provided while sitting on her MILs new white sofa 😂 I mean talk about a recipe for disaster.

To be fair OP didn't bring the Babybels over to the sofa - MIL did

Pookerrod · 30/12/2023 18:35

Littlegoth · 30/12/2023 16:50

I agree with other posters. He either sticks up for you or he moves back in with mummy. I would absolutely die on this hill.

Edited

This

PaperDoIIs · 30/12/2023 18:36

driftingdownintomiami · 30/12/2023 18:33

I can't get past the OP and husband letting her kids eat babybels she'd provided while sitting on her MILs new white sofa 😂 I mean talk about a recipe for disaster.

The MIL got the snacks out and put them in front of the kids. OP just brought them into the house.

driftingdownintomiami · 30/12/2023 18:36

@Lunde did she? I read it that she wasn't aware of the babybels when she agreed they could sit on the sofa to eat snacks. I may well be wrong (and if she was aware of them and let them sit and eat there anyway that's a different ballgame!)

LonelynSad · 30/12/2023 18:37

@jennan Has nobody pointed out to MIL the minor fact that NONE of this is your fault?!?!?

LonelynSad · 30/12/2023 18:38

driftingdownintomiami · 30/12/2023 18:36

@Lunde did she? I read it that she wasn't aware of the babybels when she agreed they could sit on the sofa to eat snacks. I may well be wrong (and if she was aware of them and let them sit and eat there anyway that's a different ballgame!)

The MIL put the Babybels on a little table in front of the sofa, for the children! Also OP initially forbade the kids from sitting on the sofa but MIL INSISTED they could!

PaperDoIIs · 30/12/2023 18:40

@driftingdownintomiami here it is.

She DID tell the kids not to eat on it but brought them snacks and put it on a small table next to the sofa, she told them to stand up when they were eating it..

squidgybits · 30/12/2023 18:40

google it - an iron over kitchen towel would be my method

Lunde · 30/12/2023 18:41

driftingdownintomiami · 30/12/2023 18:36

@Lunde did she? I read it that she wasn't aware of the babybels when she agreed they could sit on the sofa to eat snacks. I may well be wrong (and if she was aware of them and let them sit and eat there anyway that's a different ballgame!)

OP posted this yesterday
"She DID tell the kids not to eat on it but brought them snacks and put it on a small table next to the sofa, she told them to stand up when they were eating it.."

AcrossthePond55 · 30/12/2023 18:42

jennan · 30/12/2023 16:12

This is going to be long 😬.
We managed to get all of the wax of the sofa but there was still a red stain.
Mil had woke up before us and noticed the stain so I was greeted with a VERY angry mil telling me of for bringing baby bells and saying I should have just brought crips or biscuits (I brought my own snacks for the boys as she mainly has ingredients with the exception of some biscuits and chocolates but I didn't just want them eating biscuits and sweet stuff the whole time)
I offered to pay for a cleaner or a new cover but she just got even more annoyed saying that it was a massive inconvenience for her and that if I were to order a new cover it wouldn't come quickly enough for this evening (Later this evening my sister and brother in law were coming with there partners and children for a mini-reunion as we didn't get to see them on Christmas as they were both busy.)
My MIL told me the argument that I was no longer invited to the reunion but my husband and sons were still invited but I wasn't????
I told her that if I was not going then neither were my boys, my MIL got quite pissy saying that it would be unfair to my nephews as they were looking forward to seeing my sons.
My DH went out quite early to meet some of his childhood friends as he grew up here and because of that he missed our argument.
I've just got home with my boys and I've just received a text from my dh telling me that his mum explained the whole situation to him and that me not letting the boys go was very immature.
I have to pick him up on Monday and apparently, my mil is very upset about her grandsons not being there and wants to talk to me before we leave.
Was I in the wrong?

Show quote history

I understand your MiL being 'annoyed'. Even an accident can be annoying, especially when it happens to something expensive and new.

But IMO she blew this all out of proportion.

Did she not see the babybels in your DCs hands? If she was so concerned about potential damage she should have put a blanket on the floor and said 'all snacks 'picnic style' on the blanket, please'. Besides, your Bro/Sis iL have DC so they're surely used to 'oopses' that result in stains. It's not like MiL was entertaining royalty.

You apologized and offered to pay for cleaning/replacement. What more could you do? Not sure how the 'discussion' descended into an argument, but what prompted her to disinvite you? Surely she didn't just say "your DC stained my new couch, you are banned!!". There must either have been something else said by one or both of you, or you and MiL have 'baggage' between you.

I think YWNBU to leave and take the children. I'd have done the same thing. No one insults me, bans me, and then can expect me to do favours like leave my children behind. And after your DH's comment, hell would freeze over before I'd drive to pick him up. He can catch a train, a bus, or hitchhike home. And if MiL wants to communicate with me, unless she wants to apologize for flying off the handle at an accident, at this point she can put it in an email. I wouldn't drive down just so she could lecture me.

Afterthought: if you do drive down to pick him up I'd let him know in no uncertain terms that I will NOT be lectured by MiL. That you will either honk for him and he can come out to the car OR you'll meet him at the nearest carpark.