Oh Norah. Well.....
Inspired by wench porn and high on happiness after lovely news I decided I needed to try out some of Aramis's moves.
Mr C was lying down on our bed, just listening to Fighting Talk on Iplayer, in his boxers, head on pillow. I came in, straddled him, sitting on his backside, and leaned forward and breathed in his ear the magic SF formula 'you have no idea how much I want to fuck you right now' and gave his earlobe what I meant to be a nibble but turned out to be a bit of a bite.
Well.
Wenches.
For those with an other in their lives. If you are ever in a situ where things haven't been happening quite like they did in the old days, everyone's a bit tired and the kids have had you up all night or whatever...
If you whisper this in his ear, just brace yourself.
So. In one movement his iPhone gets knocked to the floor as he turns round at considerable speed, knocking my chin with his elbow by mistake. I go 'argh' he says 'fuck, sorry' and 'you bit me'.
I say 'sorry it was meant to be a nibble'. He says 'bite me again'.
At this point what can only be described as A MASSIVE ERECTION is quite evident.
He says 'say it again'
I repeat the formula.
Things happen. Somehow we end up sideways up at the very top of the bed. In the midst of things he manages to knock both the alarm clock and nice lamp plus a glass of water on the floor. (Water narrowly missing iPhone which was still on the floor).
This particular phrase appears to have the same effect as magnesium in a Bunsen burner. Aural Viagra.
I came four times and couldn't feel my hands or feet by the end.
So.
There's some oversharing brought to you by Prosecco .
I hope no one thinks I'm being braggy or weird telling you this. Just hope you're happy for me with my broken lamp. It was fucking awesome.