A community for parents...or is it?

[mumof2andlovingit]

as a new member, I was under the impression that this is a website community "by Parents, for Parents." I have been participating in a thread that is very heated and discovered that there are non parents commenting on here. Do you all think this is ok? It seems quite bizarre to me that someone is trolling through the site that isn't a parent. What would their motives be? I don't go onto sites for singles and comment. Although I have been single before so feel I could offer something if I wanted. But someone on this site, commenting about parenting things - and they aren't a parent themselves?? I am just curious about PARENTS opinions here. Please let me (and others) know what your opinion is on this matter. I am happy to listen and maybe there is a point I haven't thought of...thank you!

I do think if you retract the "trolling" comment, and possibly the "50 year old" comment you might get a more interesting debate going.......

Maybe you should look with fresh eyes at your OP. You do come across as accusational and angry. The people responding are only mirroring your tone.
There are ways to ask opinions.

You don't have to wonder Bathsheba. You could read the thread or one of the 40 million that have come before this one.

clashcity - thank you for your comment about the birthday party - good point. I appreciate your imput and that you said it in a nice manner without making me feel bad. I am willing to listen much more when spoken to like a fellow human being.

like I said at the beginning - I only just joined and haven't searched much yet. I will do some of that...when I am done wiping away the tears from all the attacks on my opinion.

I don't particularly mind non-parents being on here.

How magnanimous of you, Bathsheba.

OP, you don't have to take anyone's advice on anything you post on, so it doesn't really matter if people post things you don't find helpful. And presumably other parents are just as capable as non-parents of posting unhelpful things.

It's OK, Hakluyt. Like me, you may be really old but you've got children.
I wonder how she feels about 50 year old teachers without children?

OP, of course you're allowed your opinion, you asked for other people's opinion. Looking through the posts, most of them really aren't 'aggressive'.

Yes, there occasionally are bizarre posters, some of whom may be trolls - if you suspect that, or if anyone breaks the site guidelines, just hit the Report button and let MN know. We're self-policing, MNHQ can't read everything. But if it's a non-parent who decides to post for whatever reason - could just be bored and likes this site more than others - so long as its within guidelines then that's ok. If they are pontificating from a position of ignorance you can ignore them or tell them to butt out (so long as within guidelines yourself, of course).

Overall this is a great site for supporting parents, hope you aren't put off by a few sub-optimal threads.

I can kinda see where you are coming from - if I allude to mumsnet in real life I am normally met with a 'mumsnet.....but you don't have children....' look. It's outside perception vs what actually occurs.

As I say, there are gazillions of threads that are interesting and I can get stuck into which had f all to do with parenting. it's enough to keep me amused anyway.

People are only "attacking" you because you have accused non-parents of being trolls and seem to think they don't have the right to an opinion on things, including politics.

The place is full of strong minded people who will say exactly what they think. As you are new, perhaps it might be an idea to get the feel of the place before starting any more rude threads .

"It's OK, Hakluyt. Like me, you may be really old but you've got children.
I wonder how she feels about 50 year old teachers without children?"

Don't be silly . Nobody could be a teacher over 50!

Well i'm a parent and i could give you advice on a birthday party or sleeping issues but there's no guarantee my advice wouldnt be a load of shite and far less useful than advice a non parent might give.

OP you rule out a massive amount of support, wisdom, intelligent conversation when you rule out people because they havent a small human in their bed at 5am asking for thomas tank for the 75th time running.

"Non parents" (i hate that term) are as valid as parents and many could offer equally as good or even better advice depending on the topic and their experience.

Its ridiculous to suggest they shouldnt be here.

I wonder how she feels about 50 year old teachers without children?

Won't somebody think of the CHILDREN?

'attacks on my opinion'? 'tears' ? What threads have you been on OP?

'Don't be silly . Nobody could be a teacher over 50!'

You're gonna make me kwy.
I don't want to be a teacher over 50, yet somehow, here I am.

In the nicest possible way, get a grip op.

I don't know what threads you are talking about, but for a non parents being on mn thread this is very tame considering you've pretty much called non parents on this site trolls.

'What threads have you been on OP?'

The Israel/Palestine one. Got into a squabble and had a few posts deleted.
That's why I'm puzzled about the insistence on only parents being on the site, that's not a particularly mumsie thread.

And all of us have BEEN children at some point so have relevant experience in some matters (eg posters asking about only children etc).

(Yes - even the people who aren't parents - who'd have thought it!)

If you're actually crying over people pointing out that you've made an error of judgement then worrying over whether somebody is a parent or not is the least of your worries.

MN attracts a lot of pbp or trolls. They often set up controversial threads. Quite often 'as a newbie ' complaining about the site and claiming to have been attacked when they've simply been disagreed with. I don't understand why people do that either, but it doesn't stop them.

What's being a parent got to do with the Israel/Palestinian conflict?

Oh right Dust. Deleted posts?

I apologise if I offended anyone - was not my intention! Again, please think about your words and how they make people feel.

I don't post online enough to realise how inflammatory the word trolling is - I meant it as someone just looking through posts that have nothing to do with them. ie I wouldn't go on a post about homemade ketchup - unless I wanted to find out more about that specific topic. I would find it unsettling for a group of women to be posting about breastfeeding issues and a single man jumped in to say something. In my opinion - the fact that he was reading the conversation - would be unsettling. That's where I was coming from in my post...and as I keep saying, I was open to the other points of view.

Thank you to those that offered your opinions. I have better understanding of how this community works, and I will work on making sure my posts don't come off as aggressive. Please, next time just let me know in a polite manner! thank you.

Mumof2 - can I suggest you reread your original post and try to see why it has put so many people's backs up. Asking for only PARENTS opinions, saying that non-parents are 'trolling' the site, questioning their motives for doing so (you didn't say it in so many words, but to me that suggested that you think they have some inappropriate or dodgy motive for being here) - all these added up to an offensive 'tone' to your OP, and that has annoyed people.

Everyone can contribute something to the site - people without children of their own might be aunts or uncles, childcare professionals, teachers - even if they have no regular contact with children in their professional or personal life, they were all children at one point in their lives, and can draw on that experience, if they want to offer advice.

For me, the wide variety of people who post here is what makes MN such a great place - we have experts and people who are knowledgeable about so many different subjects, from fish-keeping to employment law, from life in the armed forces to strange things that happen on flights. We have members who have the funniest accidents and mishaps - and who are generous enough to relate them here for our entertainment. If we only had parents, and only discussed parenting-related issues, this site would not be the rich, diverse, entertaining, informative, supportive place it is.

Actually it's time to come clean......

You are quite correct OP - We members of MN who don't have children are joining up so that we can smash the system from the inside

Viva la revolution (sp!)

Adds to spreadsheet