Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Other subjects

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Original poster

A community for parents...or is it?

204 replies

mumof2andlovingit · 18/12/2014 09:20

as a new member, I was under the impression that this is a website community "by Parents, for Parents." I have been participating in a thread that is very heated and discovered that there are non parents commenting on here. Do you all think this is ok? It seems quite bizarre to me that someone is trolling through the site that isn't a parent. What would their motives be? I don't go onto sites for singles and comment. Although I have been single before so feel I could offer something if I wanted. But someone on this site, commenting about parenting things - and they aren't a parent themselves?? I am just curious about PARENTS opinions here. Please let me (and others) know what your opinion is on this matter. I am happy to listen and maybe there is a point I haven't thought of...thank you!

OP posts:

mrscumberbatch · 18/12/2014 10:54

Oh I see now.... A poster disagreed with you and they happened to not be a parent.

How terrible for you.

Hakluyt · 18/12/2014 10:57

Noooo- don't tell me a 50 year old posted??? You must be mistaken- nobody that old could possibly understand modern technology.......

Sparklingbrook · 18/12/2014 10:57

How do you know if posters are parents or not? Why are non parents not allowed to give advice about a kids birthday party? How do you know whether they are a childrens' entertainer or not?

Sooo many questions mum. What are you saying that the motives of non parents posting on MN are?

DustInTheWind · 18/12/2014 10:57

That's the problem with internet chat OP, you just can't control who posts.
You asked for opinions and got them.

'I have been participating in a thread that is very heated and discovered that there are non parents commenting on here. Do you all think this is ok? '

The thread you were on was nothing to do with parenting and is a very controversial topic for any discussion, anywhere. So yes, it's OK for non-parents to talk about anything and everything they want to, and to be disagreed with. Are you upset because some of your posts were deleted?
That's what happens if you break talk guidelines.

DustInTheWind · 18/12/2014 10:58

'Noooo- don't tell me a 50 year old posted??? You must be mistaken- nobody that old could possibly understand modern technology.......'

TheSpottedZebra · 18/12/2014 11:00

I am a PARENT and I'm on here a lot, yet I rarely post about my kids. I like MN as I like the tone -funny, intelligent, sarcastic often. Broadly 'female' in tone. That would appeal as much to me if I were not a parent.

Original poster

mumof2andlovingit · 18/12/2014 11:03

again why can't I have an opinion?

as for trolling - are you saying it doesn't exist on this site? I didn't accuse a specific person - I was saying it's bizarre. It's the same as saying "that movie was funny." I didn't accuse the movie - I just stated what I thought. Each person has a right to an opinion and no two people are the same.

I am sorry I asked my question as it's shown me quite a nasty side to this community. If you don't like someones opinion - make them feel horrible. Please think about your words and how you make other people feel. You all have been aggressive when all I asked was for your opinions - not to be ridiculed for mine.

When my kids had sleeping issues - the last people I wanted to tell me what to do and offer advice, were my friends with no children. There are some things that yes - it's worth outside opinions! Which I will go back to my original post when I said "I am happy to listen and maybe there's a point I haven't thought of."

OP posts:

weebarra · 18/12/2014 11:04

I am a parent. I am not defined by that role. Mumsnet is a wonderful, funny, supportive and occasionally very odd place.
One of the main areas I post on is the Tamoxigang thread, supporting those of us with a cancer diagnosis. Whether the people on that thread are parents is irrelevant.

mrscumberbatch · 18/12/2014 11:06

You can have an opinion but if people think its stupid they are well within their rights to have an opinion on your opinion.

DustInTheWind · 18/12/2014 11:06

No one is denying you an opinion, you can be as opinionated as you like here provided you stay within the guidelines.
But if you don't like people disagreeing with you, or you want more control over who responds, then perhaps this site is not going to be one you are comfortable with.
Coz everyone gets stuck in and feels free to have an opinion.

tethersend · 18/12/2014 11:07

How do we know that YOU are a parent, OP?

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 18/12/2014 11:09

This discussion gets brought up every couple of weeks.

The reason you are getting a hard time is that you are accusing people without children of "trolling" which is a fairly shitty thing to do.

I don't have children, and don't intend ever to have them. I would not weigh in on a discussion about sleep issues etc but there are lots of non-child related sections/posts that I will happily be involved in.

However, obviously that was before I realised I was being a troll by coming on here in the first place.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 18/12/2014 11:09

You might like Netmums or Baby Centre better op. Mumsnet is not everyone's cup of tea and that's ok, but it's not ok to expect it to be something it isn't because you want it to be so.

mrscumberbatch · 18/12/2014 11:09

Maybe you should reconsider your stance on not accepting the opinions or help from those without children re:child care matters.

It's quite a bratty, unthinking throwaway comment. And so if you are receiving hostile replies its probably because you have unknowingly put that hostility out there via having a nonsensical or derogatory opinion.

BathshebaDarkstone · 18/12/2014 11:10

I assumed when I joined that MN was for parents, but I don't particularly mind non-parents being on here. Thinking about it, I do wonder what the appeal would be though.

ClashCityRocker · 18/12/2014 11:11

I don't have children and don't tend to post giving parenting advice. However, I don't live in a bubble - if something that has worked well with my nieces, nephews or godchildren with regard to a birthday party etc I will offer it up for consideration. I think it's the same with most non-parent posters....

Also, if you look at the number of posts per day, I think you'll find that a hell of a lot aren't directly parenting related. On my active convos list now, I would say less than half are directly parenting related.

You don't often see 'I don't have kids, but have you tried just letting them cry?' For example, because that would be not be appropriate. Most people stick to the areas that interest them or they feel they can offer advice in.

And y'know, it's the internet. Not compulsory.

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 18/12/2014 11:12

On your point about sleeping issues though - just because someone isn't a parent doesn't mean that they don't know anything. I have learnt a lot of interesting stuff on MN. I personally wouldn't involve myself in that kind of thread but it doesn't mean that non-parents' opinions are invalid.

Original poster

mumof2andlovingit · 18/12/2014 11:13

that is one of the scary issues online, in any forum. You don't really know anything about the people behind the words. I am a parent. But according to all of you it doesn't matter, right? So why bother asking me?

OP posts:

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 18/12/2014 11:14

Bathsheba Because many of the subjects are interesting and some of the posters are brilliant.

Still, it's nice that some people "don't mind" us being here

LiviaDruscillaAugusta · 18/12/2014 11:15

OP Because you seem bothered by whether people have children or not, so it seems fair that someone is asking you

DustInTheWind · 18/12/2014 11:15

You still haven't explained why you were on a heated political thread and then felt that only parents should be commenting on the site.
Do you think that only parents have the right to an opinion on a political issue?

ClashCityRocker · 18/12/2014 11:15

Of course it matters in certain contexts.

But the 'point' of the forum and what it is can be very different things - you can get a lot out of mumsnet without venturing into the parenting posts.

WhirlyTwirlySnowflakes · 18/12/2014 11:15

OP the reason you have had some rather tetchy responses is because your original post was rude.

If you truly meant only to express your surprise and interest in non parent members of MN you could have expressed it in a number of other much politer ways.

Yes of course MN, just like many other Internet forums has the odd troll but what you said was that non parent members were 'trolling'. Your implication was that all non parent members are trolls.

You also said that you wanted replies from PARENTS. This came across very badly.

Posters can only react to your OP, given that you've had a fairly unanimously pissed off response (including from MN Towers itself) you might want to consider that your post is the common denominator, apologise and start a nice thread in Chat along the lines if "I'm new here, I was surprised to find so many members without children in the site. How did you find your way to MN and what do you love about it?"

Idontseeanysontarans · 18/12/2014 11:16

I didn't join because I'm a parent, I joined because of a funny article in a newspaper (NOT penis beaker! Before that). The comments were funny, witty and clever. It appealed to my sense of humour so I came, I saw and I joined. The fact that I have 3 children had nothing to do with it, in fact half the threads I post in have nothing to do with children at all
As for why, so many reasons! Some posters have no living children, some can't have children. There are boards here full of people who understand what they're going through.
Btw, I know the phrasing trolling can mean just 'wandering' through threads but here you've just accused quite a few people of being trolls. That's part of the reason you're getting flamed.

DustInTheWind · 18/12/2014 11:16

Have you tried other patrenting sites to find a better match, as has been suggested? Netmums for example?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Swipe left for the next trending thread