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Original poster

We have been let down by the justice system. [**Edited by MNHQ, thread may be triggering**]

470 replies

OpiesOldLady · 22/10/2014 20:41

I need to get this out. Some of you will recognise the details, I posted previously under a different name, but tbh I'm sick of hiding now, and being ashamed.

My son was raped and sexually abused by my step son. He also abused my daughter. He was found guilty of two counts of rape and four counts of sexual abuse. We were led to believe that the judge would send him to crown court for sentencing and a custodial sentence would be imposed.

Today he was give a two year rehabilitation order and has been placed on the sex offenders register for five years. He has basically gotten away with a slap on the wrists.

I feel so incredibly let down. My babies had to give evidence against him, he put them through that... and yet he gets to go home tonight, free.

He will get counselling and all manner of professional help, whilst I am having to fight tooth and nail to access some proper support for my children. They are on a waiting list for intensive therapy, but that could take months. In the meantime, I have to watch as my son fades away before my eyes, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And this is justice?

I want to appeal his sentence as I think it's far too lenient, but I don't know if i'll be allowed to, I'm waiting to hear back from the Attourney Generals office.

I am swinging between being so furious, devastated and wanting to kill him with my bare hands. How could he do this and just get away with it?

OP posts:
TheFirstOfHerName · 22/10/2014 21:36

Hi, I don't know if you remember me, I sent you a booklet for children & young people about giving evidence at Crown Court.

Your children have been very courageous, and the outcome seems very unfair.

MisForMumNotMaid · 22/10/2014 21:36

Has your GP referred you to Child and Adolescent Mental
Health Services (CAMH's) - is it them who are only offering the 50mins?

The police liaison should sort out the restraining orders for you, I'm surprised they weren't part of the case.

Original poster
OpiesOldLady · 22/10/2014 21:37

He was 14 when he did it, he's 15 now.

I'll have a look at those links it a bit, Pacific, thank you.

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 22/10/2014 21:39

Cahms are massively overstretched, we also only got appts 6 weeks apart for 6 months - just not enough.

Original poster
OpiesOldLady · 22/10/2014 21:40

The First - Yes, I do, and thank you so much, they were so so helpful and much better then the photo copied booklet of jargon we were given here - thank you.

Cahms have refused to be involved as they said they couldn't help as the children were being seen by New Pathways, a specialist rape and abuse charity.

OP posts:
Scarletohello · 22/10/2014 21:43

I'm so sorry to hear what your son has gone through. Sadly the criminal justice system is woefully inadequate in prosecuting these kinds of cases in my experience. However as a victim, legally you have no rights to contend the sentence,it would be up to the prosecution to do this so I wouldn't set your hearts on this. I know the sentence can seem like nothing compared to what your son has gone through, but I think what you need to focus on now is getting your son the professional support he needs. Personally I don't think the criminal justice system is fit for purpose in prosecuting these types of crimes, and I say that having worked on both sides of the law, but it is the system we have right now.

Itsfab · 22/10/2014 21:44

I am so sorry for you all. If I can be so bold as to advise I would say of course see if you can appeal but put all your focus on to fighting for help for your children rather than to have the abuser locked up. Of course he should be locked up, that is a given but whether he is or not your lovely sons need all the help they can get from you. I am sure you are doing this already.

take care.

MisForMumNotMaid · 22/10/2014 21:46

What about you, has your GP referred you? You are going to need an outlet for yourself to work things through.

Sorry that CAMH's wont help. It seams to vary a lot depending on where you are.

Original poster
OpiesOldLady · 22/10/2014 21:50

Yes, of course I am. But I need to be able to say to them that I did all I could to get them justice.

No one, apart from New Pathways, would work with them before the trial as they were worried about tainting their evidence, and now that the trial is over, they are on a waiting list for more intensive therapy. We've been to CAHMS, NSPCC, SS... brick walls constantly.

OP posts:
BonaDea · 22/10/2014 21:55

I feel so sorry for you and your children. The injustice of it makes me furious so can't imagine how you must feel.

Unfortunately I have no advice to offer. Aren't there victims charities or groups who can advise? Or can you mount some sort of private legal challenge? Sorry, am totally clueless.

mineofuselessinformation · 22/10/2014 21:56

It's shit. And if it helps in any way, I'm truly sorry for what you and your children have been though.

Lilybensmum1 · 22/10/2014 22:01

I am so ashamed of the supposed justice system in this country if that is justice for what has been done to your DCs I am sorry and, So sorry for what you are all going through I too would have to seek an appeal you are totally reasonable to do so, this sentence comes no where near to what your DC have been through, good luck please keep us informed.

ButchCassidy · 22/10/2014 22:02

That's awful. The justice system seems very unfair.
Thinking of you

Scarletohello · 22/10/2014 22:04

Can I politely suggest to posters to stop suggesting she can appeal the sentence? As a victim you have no right to appeal a sentence. A defendant can and the prosecution can refer it to the Attorney General if they feel a sentence has been to lenient. It sucks but the best thing the OP can do is to try to get good support for her son now.

lotsgoingon · 22/10/2014 22:04

I work in the criminal courts. When I read the sentence in your case I was very surprised, because the guideline sentences for this kind of case are now clear and I would expect something like 5-8 years (obviously I have no idea of details of the case), but that's in the case of an adult perpetrator. This was a child, offending against children, and the youth court will always look at rehabilitation first, before punishment.

cakepopbakeshop · 22/10/2014 22:05

Personally I don't think the criminal justice system is fit for purpose in prosecuting these types of crimes

Ditto. I too have been very badly let down by "the system", in fact, I would no longer go to "the system" for help on principle.

There has been all this in the media constantly for months now about abuse, cover-ups, systematic failures - but has anything really changed? Victims are still getting so little help.

I can't say personally that I would have been in favour of a custodial sentence for the perpetrator here, because he needs rehabilitation more than anything to stop him re-offending. That said, i can totally understand that justice has not been done and that you are struggling to get any of the help you need for the survivors of this terrible crime.

I'm not sure how old your DCs are now, so can't advise on how you tell them about the outcome but it seems very hard if you have to do that alone. Is there any kind of family trauma service near you that would help you as a family, including talking to the children about the outcome of the judicial process and their feelings about it.

I am so sorry you are in this horrific ordeal, I tried for over a decade to "get justice" and appropriate mental health help as a victim, it never happened, thankfully (or thank God) I managed nonetheless to continue to believe in right / wrong / my sanity. I hope your DCs will too

Original poster
OpiesOldLady · 22/10/2014 22:10

I spoke to the Arttorney General's office earlier about this, scarlet after following this link

www.gov.uk/complain-about-low-crown-court-sentence

They are going to contact me to see if I am able to appeal, as they think it should have been tried in a crown court in the first place.

OP posts:
LemonDrizzleTwunt · 22/10/2014 22:12

If your son needs someone to speak to immediately and regularly, Samaritans may be able to help. He doesn't have to be an adult, and he doesn't have to be suicidal.

Another sympathetic ear to talk to about how he feels might ease his burden for a short while.

Hugs to you all, I am so sorry OP.
xxx

Original poster
OpiesOldLady · 22/10/2014 22:16

You know, I hadn't thought of the Samaritans. Maybe Child Line too?

OP posts:
RufusTheReindeer · 22/10/2014 22:22

Child line is a very good idea

So sorry you and your children are going through this Thanks

CuddlesAndShit · 22/10/2014 22:24

I'm so sorry Opies. Life is fucking unfair and none of you deserve this.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 22/10/2014 22:28

I think childline is an excellent idea, have you tried rape crisis too?

I am so sorry this happened to your children and agree the sentence is ridiculous.

lotsgoingon · 22/10/2014 22:29

Yes anyone can ask the Attorney General to consider appealing a sentence, so victims of crime can do that. I'm not sure if it's only Crown Courts; not a situation I've met before. I think it must be.

I've seen an increase in children being prosecuted for sex offences. In general the youth court is thought to be the best place to do that.

There is a huge lack of support and therapy for victims of sexual and violent crimes. That would still be the case, whether or not the defendant in this case went to custody.

KneeQuestion · 22/10/2014 22:34

We used to 'talk' on here and by PM under different usernames. I remember some of your previous posts.

I am so so sorry to hear how awful this has been for your family.

I have nothing helpful to add really, just that I hope you get the help you and your children need and wish you all the best. x

MaitlandGirl · 22/10/2014 23:25

Oh sweetie, I have no words but I'm sending you all the love I have for you and your beautiful children.

I'm so out of touch with the legal system in the UK that anything I suggest would be very out of date but I'm horrified by how badly your babies have been let down.

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