Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Other subjects

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

We have been let down by the justice system. [**Edited by MNHQ, thread may be triggering**]

470 replies

OpiesOldLady · 22/10/2014 20:41

I need to get this out. Some of you will recognise the details, I posted previously under a different name, but tbh I'm sick of hiding now, and being ashamed.

My son was raped and sexually abused by my step son. He also abused my daughter. He was found guilty of two counts of rape and four counts of sexual abuse. We were led to believe that the judge would send him to crown court for sentencing and a custodial sentence would be imposed.

Today he was give a two year rehabilitation order and has been placed on the sex offenders register for five years. He has basically gotten away with a slap on the wrists.

I feel so incredibly let down. My babies had to give evidence against him, he put them through that... and yet he gets to go home tonight, free.

He will get counselling and all manner of professional help, whilst I am having to fight tooth and nail to access some proper support for my children. They are on a waiting list for intensive therapy, but that could take months. In the meantime, I have to watch as my son fades away before my eyes, on the verge of a nervous breakdown. And this is justice?

I want to appeal his sentence as I think it's far too lenient, but I don't know if i'll be allowed to, I'm waiting to hear back from the Attourney Generals office.

I am swinging between being so furious, devastated and wanting to kill him with my bare hands. How could he do this and just get away with it?

OP posts:
Jux · 09/12/2014 23:40

OMG, that SW needs disciplining. Very very strong complaint.

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 10/12/2014 02:01

Christ, Opies, that SW is an utter bitch - sounds like she did that deliberately to fuck you over after you gave her the serve you did, unfuckingbelievable! Definitely go for the official complaint and get her off your case.

Your guardian is no doubt following strict guidelines but she seems a bit misguided in your case - however, you are right, they do have you over a barrel and if things continue the way you are, you run the risk (unjustifiably IMO) of being labelled as "difficult" and "uncooperative", because that's the way these systems work, they don't easily accept that they're in the wrong, they'd sooner blame you. :( Angry

Thumbnutstwitchingonanopenfire · 10/12/2014 02:02

Sorry, mistype in the middle there - I meant if things continue the way they are,

OpiesOldLady · 23/12/2014 20:09

Just a quick update.

We're ok. We're plodding on. Things aren't any better, but we have been given a 'sometime in early new year' as a time when DS might start the intensive therapy.

He's still a very angry, troubled little boy. DD is...well, she's her normal angry, breaky violent self.

And I'm just carrying on carrying on. What else can I do?

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 24/12/2014 15:36

Hi, I was just coming to wish you the best Christmas you can possibly have, given the circumstances...then I saw your updates! Sorry I missed them :(

What a right bunch of bastards!!

Have you managed to get the social worker changed?

Can you get the Guardian changed? That's a mad system that is, someone who barely knows your kids names having more say than you do over stuff.

Fuck me. I'd be moving.

Had the punch ball thing helped at all?

How is DS doing with teeth cleaning now?

We are off to friends for Christmas, I should have coverage, but can't say for sure. I'll be home for a bit longer and back home again in a couple of days. I'll be thinking of you all on a Christmas Day
X

We3KingyofOblomovAre · 26/12/2014 17:52

Thinking of you op. Not surprised by what is happening to you. But saddened.

oneowlgirl · 28/12/2014 18:01

Only just came across your thread Op - totally horrified by what you & your family have been through with the abuser & with the system which has let you all down tremendously.

FWIW, you sound like a great mum who is fighting with all she has for her children & they will all be ok because of you.

I hope you all managed to have a good Christmas & wish you all the very best for 2015. I hope the counselling comes to fruition soon. Please remember to be kind to yourself - you're doing your absolute best & your DC couldn't ask for a better mum.

JuxaSnogUndertheMistletoe · 28/12/2014 20:24

Have been thinking about you all. I hope that, when it starts, the counselling begins to help ds quite quickly, and that it also helps you get more support for you too.

Excitedforxmas · 09/01/2015 14:31

Hate to be nosey but just wondered how things were now? Hope you and your family managed to celebrate Christmas

OpiesOldLady · 26/01/2015 20:43

Just wanted to quickly update this.

Today finally DS started his intensive therapy.

Which is a huge relief because he's started to have panic attacks and he's sleeping with me again.

He was assessed last week, with me there, and the therapist said that he has symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, she said he is a deeply traumatise little boy and expects the therapy to be of many many moths duration.

DD isn't doing too good either. She has started to steal food - any food she can get her hands on, and hide it in her room. She sneaks downstairs in the night and raids the cupboards. I've had to put locks on the fridge and cupboards too. I have the school nurse and CAHMS coming out in early Feb as they are concerned she might be developing an eating disorder.

As for me well.. My psych evaluation has come back, the psychiatrist has said that she cannot see a reason why the children shouldn't remain in my care, which is fantastic.

We're plodding on, getting there.

OP posts:
MissYamabuki · 26/01/2015 20:55
Flowers
OpiesOldLady · 26/01/2015 21:11

Thank you :)

OP posts:
Adarajames · 09/02/2015 20:49

More Flowers I hope things can gradually start to look a little brighter for you all now at last some well deserved and needed help is finally being provided x

OpiesOldLady · 17/03/2015 21:20

Just wanted to update this quickly.

Yesterday and today we were in court for the final hearing of the care proceedings. NO CARE ORDER HAS BEEN MADE!!!!

A supervision order for 12 months is in place, and I am really happy with this. It means that ss are now bound by court orders to actually keep helping us.

My children are staying with me. Today is a fucking good day Grin

OP posts:
Butteredparsnips · 17/03/2015 21:27

Opie's I have just read through your thread and am full of admiration for you. Your love for your children shines through. I am so pleased to read your update. Flowers

WhatWouldFreddieDo · 17/03/2015 21:53

Opies I've also just read your story so far - I can't believe how much you and your DCs have gone through, and how you've held it together for so long.

You must feel so relieved today, FlowersFlowers and Wine for you.

OpiesOldLady · 17/03/2015 22:22

Thank you. There is still a way to go but we can finally see the end.

Next step is to take the kids off the child protection register and put them on a child in need plan.

OP posts:
DragonboysMum · 19/03/2015 09:57

Opies I have just spent the last 2 days reading your thread. I've cried for you and your children and raged and despaired at the lack of support you've received in such a horrendous situation. I'm so very glad things are starting to finally look more positive and your son is getting the help he needs.

You are a fabulous mother to those children and they will get through this because of you and your love and support. I'm sorry I don't have anything wise to say, just felt I couldn't read and not comment in some way.

jonicomelately · 19/03/2015 10:01

Bloody brilliant news.

Adarajames · 19/03/2015 10:39

What a relief for you, well done. And hopefully now SS will get their collective fingers out their arses and provide that support and help your kids, and you, need Smile Flowers

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread