Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Other subjects
Original poster

This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

1014 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 20:40

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

OP posts:
CountTo10 · 14/09/2006 20:47

I can't beleive how many messages have been posted on here since I left last night there's so may heart rending stories on here you do wonder how people carry on. I actually feel like I got away lightly however awful a statement that might sound.

brokendoll · 14/09/2006 20:48

Its not your fault VVVQV, I didn't have to read nor did i have to post. It just hurt alot more than I thought it would. It brought up more things that I hadn't remembered about my childhood.

Felt I should explain so that you didn't feel bad.

Bucketsofdinosaurs · 14/09/2006 20:50

Vicki I think you've done something really special here, you should be proud of yourself. And everyone who's said it out loud for the time, well done.
Oh well done everyone for being so f*ing brave, I'm really proud to be a Mumsnetter today.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 20:51

Thank you BD.

I understand how you are feeling. Am feeling a little "shell shocked" myself.

Take care

xxx

OP posts:
Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 20:53

Oh bless you buckets....

OP posts:
CountTo10 · 14/09/2006 20:53

vvvqv - i second bod's post - as I said last night i went away feeling more of a person than I had when i sat down at the start as I suddenley felt like I was finally shaking off the past and realising that it isn't my horrible little secret its an experience that has unfortunatley happened to a lot of people and is not something I should feel ashamed of. I've said it to myself so many times but last night was the first time I truly believed it in my heart so thank you x

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2006 20:53

i know...mumsnet has been a depressing place this last day or so buts lets just hope that in the process we are in someway cleansed of the evil that has been bestowed on us.
One thing we can gain strength from is most certainly the fact that we are not alone. And though our torrid stories are shocking and terrible - they are in the past. We are still here. For better not worse. If I had a religion I would turn toward it now but I will say this.
LETS join hands metaphorically and know we are strong and good people and we are safe in the knowledge that these B@%&*$#% cannot hurt us anyomre x KISSES TO YOU ALL x

NeverSayNever · 14/09/2006 20:55

Yes it was hard to type this but I have 2 D'ds and a DsD as well as the boys, and I can now see why I have drummed into them why they should never do anything they are not comfortable with, to shout scream and be everything that I wasn't. They can be so outspoken at times and for that I am thankfull.

Elf1981 · 14/09/2006 20:57

Never been raped but...

When I was 8ish, somebody tried to grab me and get me in their car. I didn't tell anybody til I was 20.

When I was 16, was drunk and stupidly let myself get let away from the party to a field. Luckily a male friend of mine stopped anything getting too heavy, I was not in a state to do anything about it. Told nobody.

When I was 19, waiting in at the bus stop, a guy stood behind me, sniffing my hair and masturbating. Told my now DH but did nothing about it.

winnie · 14/09/2006 20:57

This thread is so painful.
It has made me think about it and I realise i had well and truly locked that away.

I was 13, he was 19 and his friend watched & dd wonders why I am so concerned about her

NappiesGalore · 14/09/2006 20:58

this is just too much.

i hope peoples raw wounds start to heal soon, and you all find some peace, i really really do.

i read an article by Germaine Greer a bunch of years ago which went along the lines of "why do we think of rape as such a big deal, its just sex at the end of the day so we shouldnt give it the power to shatter lives" (maybe someone better at searching can find it)

at the time i read it, my own wounds were very raw and i was still at the stage where i was only just admitting it to myself and hardly anyone else (please tell your family babybuttercup, i BET they would be a whole lot stronger and more comforting than you think) and i was livid at her for saying it was trivial. and to this day, i'm not sure if her approach is at all right. BUT after a long while and a lot of thinking, that article really helped me deal with it and move on. I am lucky. i do bear no physical scars... maybe if i could just think of it as particularly unpleasant sex, but just sex afterall, then i could finally forget it and move on... over time, and theres obv much more complex thoughts going on than that alone, but over time it did work. those events, the memories of those events cant hurt me now. no-where near the way they did for years anyway.

i sincerely hope you all can find peace too, however you can.

winnie · 14/09/2006 21:01

nappiesgalore, but it isn't 'just sex' is it?

babybuttercup · 14/09/2006 21:02

I think although this is a very sad thread it is also a big eye opener! It does make you realise that there are other people who are hurting just as much and no one is alone. After my last post i had to walk away for a bit as i found myself thinking about a lot of things and getting upset, this is no one elses fault as no one made me read or post on this thread. VVVQ i am quite new to this so dont know what cat you means - sorry if im being stupid

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2006 21:03

yes nappies just how i feel - dp keeps telling me I should 'come off' but i cant

NappiesGalore · 14/09/2006 21:03

and i LOVE all you wonderful epople on here. xxx

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2006 21:04
Sad
WideWebWitch · 14/09/2006 21:04

God, this is awful but actually, there's another time that I'd totally forgotten about until this thread. He was an ex, it was a party, I was 20 something and asleep. So that's (at least) one attempted and 2 actual rapes. Shit isn't it?

Well done to everyone who's posted on here.
I think I might not come back to this thread for a couple of days though, it's harrowing reading.

sadforsolong · 14/09/2006 21:04

it happened to me for so long, i grew up in foster care, where i was raped many times by many people, was involved in satanic abuse by a foster carer coulpe who were church leaders,
i gained access to my social services file some years ago in order to understand my life, i found medical records that stated i had 2 STD's and an lacerated and bruised vagina, i was 11 months old, i was raped by a neighbour for many years from 9-15 i reported it 10 years ago, nothing happened with it thou.
am very saddened to read so many other stories

NeverSayNever · 14/09/2006 21:06

vvvqv please dont be sorry, thanks to you I am going to sit down with my wonderful Dh and tell him, so he knows that the way I act and the things I say are not "all his fault" thanks to you I now feel like a weight has been lifted from me and I am now free finaly to move on with my life, yes there are tears but healing tears. THANK YOU xxxxxxx

winnie · 14/09/2006 21:07

sadforsolong, what has happened to you is horrific

yep, I think this thread is makign me feel angry too and makes me realise that when I say I am a feminist and people say 'oh that is so outdated'
they are wrong!

monkeytrousers · 14/09/2006 21:07

Me - assaulted when I was 15 - unreported, just felt lucky to get away

again when I was 18 but I was upset (spilt up with boyfriend) and had drank too much and knew I wouldn't be believed so - unreported.

NappiesGalore · 14/09/2006 21:08

posta come thru so thick and fast im cross posting all over the joint!

No Winnie, it really isnt. the last thing i want to do is upset anyone, i just found that, controversial as it is, that POV helped me to overcome my own crippling grief/shame/agony. as i said, i was livid to hear it at first too... oh bugger.
what i mean is, if you think it can help you, its a radical way to think of it, but it just might help, so do it. if you think its a load of bull and not for you, then disregard it totally.

i wish only good things for you all.

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2006 21:09

pov nappies?? what is that?

winnie · 14/09/2006 21:10

NG, you didn't upset me.

babybuttercup · 14/09/2006 21:11

Sadforsolong im so sorry, ive just read your post and am now in floods of tears, you have been through so much and im ashamed to even let what happen to me affect the way i live my life xx

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.