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Original poster

This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

1014 replies

VeniVidiVickiQV · 13/09/2006 20:40

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

OP posts:
NappiesGalore · 14/09/2006 17:37

and if he is in authority like that... my word, the man needs to be put away. clearly the only way he will ever even start to notice what hes doing is wrong wrong wrong!

enjoyfreedom · 14/09/2006 17:51

thanku thats what i think too but i think he is manipulative and convinces himself even that its ok because he loves her. she is still child i think so of course it is wrong despite her not being under age for sex! I am in agony over this.

Bucketsofdinosaurs · 14/09/2006 17:52

So VVVQV, have you been keeping count? I'd like to know what the stats are but don't think I can face re-reading the whole thread Anyone fancy writing an article? I mean this is an astonishing survey, the speed and number of replies would wake up a lot of people.

FlipFloppinRubyRioja · 14/09/2006 17:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
VeniVidiVickiQV · 14/09/2006 17:59

No, buckets, I kinda lost it last night

I will go through, and count though. I really want something to come of this though. There are so many brave people that have come forward, I hope its been cathartic, but I also hope it can be of help to others too.

I was rather hoping more people would post "no, not ever" though. to get a balance.

OP posts:
NomDePlume · 14/09/2006 18:00

Me - unreported

I was too young to do anything about it at the time and the attacker was my father. I will never report it, not because I forgive him or anything (haven't seen him since I was 12), but mainly because I would hate for it all to be dragged up again. Not sure what it would achieve tbh, apart from throwing my life into disarray.

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2006 18:06

nom de plume i am so sorry. Many people say it can be both cathartic and healing to report it.

babybuttercup · 14/09/2006 18:08

Sorry i havent read the whole thread, but i was sexually abused as a child and it was only last year that i admitted it to myself and only this year managed to confide in a very close friend who has been my rock ever since. I am 21 and have always known what happened but i couldnt admit it to myself and still dont know if i completely have. This person has ruined my life, i will never get over it as he is still in my life and yes it is "unreported"!

Blu · 14/09/2006 18:08

EnjoyFreedon - extremely unprofessional. i would want to look at the'safe from Harm' policies that govern the group, and see what it says. It's very very bad practice. I would sack a tutor on one of our youth projects who did this. But I don't think it's a criminal matter.

Bucketsofdinosaurs · 14/09/2006 18:10

Those of you who haven't, do you feel you might one day want to confront your attacker? Do you want to ask them why or tell them how it felt or that they haven't won?

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2006 18:11

do you know what...i feel so ANGRY reading this

newnameforthisone · 14/09/2006 18:19

Message withdrawn

babybuttercup · 14/09/2006 18:21

2 years ago i could never have looked at this post for fear of "remembering" something else, but i kept pushing it to the back of my mind and trying to forget it until one night last year i said out loud to myself "it wasnt ok and i was abused". That night i felt i couldnt live with the guilt and shame of what had happened and tryed to end my life - fortunately i was found by my very close friend who later became my rock and who "saved" me. I do want to confront this person which i could do as i see him on a regular basis, which is so hard as he is living his happy life unaware of how bad a got.

PeachyClairHasBadHair · 14/09/2006 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

wanderingstar · 14/09/2006 18:23

Flashed in the (busy and suburban) park on the way to school aged 14.
Groped on the busy Rome metro aged 19 and interrailing. Stood hard on his sandalled feet and ground my trainers in.

Didn't report.

My God this thread is shocking...I'm scared for my dd.

livelife · 14/09/2006 18:29

No could never confront makes me shake to think of it. counsellor got me to pretend they were in front of me and say what i wanted to say - that was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life, so in real life would be just awful!

Mercy · 14/09/2006 18:29

NotanOtter, me too - getting angrier as every new poster comes on here.

Babybuttercup I don't know what to say tbh. I've been thinking about this thread all day long, I just keep going round in circles not knowing how to/ being unable to respond to the posts. My assaults were minor in comparison to many of the stories on here.

Greensleeves · 14/09/2006 18:32

Me too NotAnOtter. I'm shocked at how many of the people I "know" on here - strong, intelligent, interesting, compassionate women - have been treated like rubbish, because some 'men' still think women are a commodity, something they can just help themselves to. It's very sad and it does make me angry.

Thomcat · 14/09/2006 18:34

When I was 14 I was with my friend and her younger cousin winding up toys in Debenhams and being silly. The young cousin was touched down below by a man. I grabbed her and ran to tell a memeber of staff. We were taken to an office and sat and watched the in-store cameras. Spotted him coming out of loos and he was nabbed.
Went to court and he went away for a short time. Had been caught flashing in the past but never caught touching anyone. So glad we reported him.

Thomcat · 14/09/2006 18:39

Oh and i was flashed at when I was in my early 20's opposite my parent s home so I ran in and phoned the police. They set up watch in my parent sbedroom for the followiing 3 days!

NotAnOtter · 14/09/2006 18:40

Baby Buttercup your words could be mine x

babybuttercup · 14/09/2006 18:40

Mercy - no offence is "minor" and no one deserves to go through it!! I feel so sad for anyone that has to experience any kind of assault/rape etc. Looking at this thread does make me feel guilty about not reporting it, i know the more people that report it the better but i just cant. Last year when i thought i was taking my life i did write a letter eplaining why and what had happened, but i think that is as far as i will ever get! I couldnt live with myself if my family knew

cooperflykiller · 14/09/2006 18:42

This thread is so shocking, so shocking; I am so angry and sad for all of you brave women.

My mum's brother assaulted two of his daughters as pre-teens. And mum has hinted that she was abused by two of her brothers. All I know is that as a little child I positively loathed my uncle and made it quite clear. I never went near him. But why did she still have a family relationship with him? Crazy.

We have got to educate and protect our sons and daughters - those sleep-overs with family friends, aunts and uncles, grandparents.

Bless all of you. I am sending you white healing light. (sorry if that is too corny!)

treacletart · 14/09/2006 18:42

Me - Never. Reading these posts makes me sad and angry and makes me realise how lucky I am.

babybuttercup · 14/09/2006 18:49

NotAnOtter i cant believe it, my whole life i thought that what happened to me couldnt possibly happen to anyone else because there cant be anyone else in this world so sick!( sorry for being so naive) I cant believe im sharing this with anyone i have only ever told 1 person and that was only last year when i couldnt take anymore. Even now if she tries to talk to me about it now i just cant! I think i am also to blame because im still in contact with this person because they are family and i do still care for him which is what is fucking my head up! xx

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