This is a VERY sensitive subject, I know, but I am curious to know just how big a problem this is

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

How many people on here have been assaulted/raped and have either reported or not reported it?

I found out that the conviction rate rapes was just 6% . 6% of reported rapes. There are many many many more that go unreported. I want to know roughly what kind of figure we are looking at. Please change your name if need be, but do post.....

I'll start..

Me - unreported.

aaronsmummy and for you.

I agree SayingYes that is all well and good

But by that definition I am a rapist

VVVQV can't CAT you because I'm so skint atm I can't afford to pay up, what did you want me to CAT you for, something you can put on here or not?

Also just to add to mine I wasn't drunk (hadn't even been drinking), neither was he as far as I could tell and it was a complete stranger.

MP. No. Your incident was much pre- April 2005. And then you could not be accused of rape.

You may have HUGH regrets about your actions, but from what you say it in no way makes you a rapist.

I don't mean to start a big debate about the details of consent... I just think that when people say things like "Men get away with it because women don't report it" it reduces the complexity of some situations - there is a vast amount of experience here which covers a wide spectrum of behaviour. It is so complicated which is why it is hard to know exactly how to prevent such situations from arising in our children's lives.

I know. The legal framework isn't much use at times and can be counter-productive. But lifting a sense of 'blame' offa victims is a move forward.

Ohgosh, should I do this? Ok

Mum was traped by dad in the room next to me when i was about, oh 11? Least, I think she was; she was yelling she was, but she is very manipulative and would do that for effect. dad certainly beat her up though.

Was assaulted sexually at 16, hadn't even kissed anyone, by an elderly lSn chap I used to try to help. Never reported it, was too shy. Was raped two years later by a boyfriend.

And there it ends, think I putup armour plating after that. Dealt with a long time ago.

Was drugged at a nightclub once - woke up in bed of x boyfriend and knew that something weird was going on because I couldn't remember anything about the previous evening and I had only had 2 drinks.

Didn;t know what to say or do other than leave quick and have nothing to do with him ever again.

Silly really but I have never viewed it as anything that bad as I knew him and had slept with him before.

sophable - did you start that other thread you mentioned below? I can't find it.

Or if anybody else has seen it around could you direct me?

here's sophable's thread

Thanks caboose

great posts morning paper. i agree that it is a complex area and an extremely uncomfortable one if you start to think about it fairly and in depth.

I think 50yrs ago children were seen more like dolls, not people. But with all the sexy clothes for little girls around it seems there are plenty of mums out there turning their daughters into dolls. It's just the kind of thing that the wrong kind of mind would deem 'encouraging' and once again the child becomes an non-sentient plaything.
For the record I've been very very lucky and never been assaulted or raped. Have made some stupid decisions re being 'invoiced' for a night out etc but they have been my own. In fact I now feel guilty for not putting them in their place, who knows maybe they moved on to more aggressive behaviour.

What I hate most is that I will now NEVER forget his name, his face or the feel of his entire body. Although he's probably long forgotten me.

Well I know the man who raped me hasn't for gotten me, because I know for a fact he was a virgin so every time anyone asks / refers to losing it, he'll have had to remember- and he wasn't in denial either. he is amrried now with two daughter (Friends Reunited says, anyhow) and I hope having daughters makes him realise how he'd feel if it happened to them.

I've read this thread feeling "me too" about many postings. I was fiddled with by family friend aged 8-ish, touched up on the tube to school many times, took to dressing like a boy to deflect (unwanted) attention and questioned my sexuality, was dragged into bushes aged 17 and violently raped (spent next 2 days wandering streets in a daze), and never told a soul....too ashamed. Got rid of a few confidence probs a few years after when was grabbed on my way home and I immediately kicked the guy in the balls, punched him in the face and screamed "fuck off, leave me alone". Got home safe. Had nightmares for years, but dp has soothed me (with out knowing what was wrong in the first place). Good to not feel that my experiences are so unique, but horrified that so many of us have had such crap done to us.

The sad thing is, if the bloke had just kept up the foreplay for a while longer - in my case - I probably would have more than consented to the sex.

Instead he just decided he was ready for it, so it was time to get on w/it.

expat i totally understand that comment.
it really illustrates why this is such a complicated area.

I also remember as a teenager having casual sex thinking to myself that I was being 'free' and 'liberated' because I didn't follow old-fashioned notions about 'saving' myself for marriage or somesuch.
but now I think how totally deluded I was, I got nothing out of these encounters, I didn't even get the boys/men concerned to like me which is what I think I was really aiming for.
once again self-esteem was key.

Me - as a child

As an adult, sexually abused on several occasions, twice at work.

Me too hovely - and I thought that by initiating the encounters I was "empowered" cos I wasn't letting men control me and my sexuality. I think now that I was just f**ked up, with chronically low self esteem and frightened of not being in charge (and got myself a reputation as a human mattress).

Sorry, original situation reported. One subsequent situation reported. Would think twice about reporting again, it seemed to deepen the humiliation. Have self protected by becoming wilfully less attractive.

I'm beyond shocked at these stories - the number of posts, the brutality of what has happened. I have a "friend" who is a policewoman - a couple of years ago she was talking about working with women who reported rape or sexual assault - and she basically said she tended not to believe them because "there was other stuff going on". Meaning that they wanted to get back at the men for some reason so were accusing them of rape, I think. I was so shocked and angry I changed the subject and moved on (I'm bad at confrontation). wish I'd challenged her - if a policewoman thinks like that, then what hope does society have of making things better?. Haven't seen her since, btw.

WeaselMum