If you have 3 children do they all have their own room?

[unsureforevermore]

Just that really, I’m expecting in September we have a 8&6 year old boy and girl, plan is for the older two to share for a year or two and then whichever sex the new child is they will then share further down the line.

coming up for a remortgage in October and we think we are just going to pull a bit of money out to pay off a few things so we are a bit more comfortable on mat leave.

anyway do yours all have their own room? Does it work for you? I always shared when I was little and I enjoyed sharing with my sister x

I feel like with the cost of living etc I really don’t want to have a big mortgage I’d rather have more freedom for holidays etc

My three DDs shared, but they were each 18 months apart from each other, more or less. It was fine. They’re adults now and great friends.

So why don’t you sell up, move to a 2 bed house with no plumbing and save yourself some money?

I don't think it's necessary for kids to have their own rooms but you do have the think about their genders and ages. If the new baby is 1 when they go in their room then you're talking about a 1 year old and a 7 or 9 year old. They will be disturbed any time the baby wakes in the night or early in the morning. A few years on it's a 3 year old with a 9 or 11 year old and then a 5 year old with a 11 or 13 year old. I don't think it's fair on the older kids.

Maybe keep the baby in with you a bit longer and then figure out the space issue ?

But the issue here with your niece isn’t the lack of bedroom space it’s the lack of respect and consideration being given to her by her parents while she is studying. That’s a whole other issue. Surely her parents understand she needs to get her work done. My girls share a bedroom with a large gap but she has the dining room to herself in the afternoon (if she is home and needs it) and at night for homework. It’s her space with no one allowed to disturb her while she is studying . The younger DC do homework earlier in the afternoon. It’s the same thing if an adult needed to go somewhere private for a work zoom call or whatever. It’s about having respect for others in the house. If her parents can’t give her care and consideration in an exam year then that’s nothing to do with bedroom space

I'd keep the new baby in with you for longer and then take it from there. Give the 8 and 6 year olds their own rooms for as long as you can. I do think it won't harm any of them to share, though I also would choose for myself to have a room per child so I can understand the dilemma. Is there the possibility of borrowing on the mortgage to extend into the loft or similar in future maybe to make things a little comfier as they grow older? Not a necessity, but perhaps a consideration.

Ours all have their own rooms. My partner had to share with his brother and he said he’d never want that for our children. I had my own room growing up and was happy with that so I wouldn’t have wanted my kids to share.

When you have a 3 bed house and already have 2 kids, it’s really selfish to have another when it means they’ll have to share a room imo. There are a lot of selfish parents out there though who don’t think about their children enough.

Not everyone had the space even for a dining room.

I shared with a sibling until I left home. Most of my friends did. Either shared with a sibling if the same sex or your siblings shared and you got the box room. Completely normal where I grew up.

That is a ridiculous thing to say.

I don’t think selfish to give our children another sibling who they are so excited to meet.

didn't think people would start bashing and calling me selfish I feel very lucky to be honest.

Siblings don't always like having a new sibling, infact I would have prefered to not have some of mine, they've been nothing but a pains in my arse.

They don't now, but that will change.

A 6 year gap is still a lot for children and when it comes to it, when your son is 13/14 he won't want his then 6 year old brother sharing a room.

Ours have their own room, but they are close in age (13, 11 and 10 currently) and all boys. They shared for a few years by their own choice. Last year, my oldest wanted his own space, as did my middle son, so they're all back into their own rooms again.

I personally wouldn't share with larger age gaps

Thank you! Yes I think this is something to worry about further down the line.

Well, I think my siblings are ace and my three kids get along brilliantly. I'm long past the baby stage with my lot, my eldest is at uni now, and it has been a blast, op. Your kids will be great, don't let the dementors get you down.

I have 3 and they all have their own rooms. I shared my whole childhood and hated it, especially as a teen.

Mine shared when they were small though and I think it is find for very young dc. The issue you will have is your age gaps.

Mine all turned out to be incredibly different personalities with different ways of settling at bedtime and different ways of waking up. They were completely incompatible if any of us were ever going to get proper rest. I was very glad to be able to create space for them to have their own rooms.

As they get older they spend a lot more time in their rooms. They want more privacy to get changed and to have friends over for sleepovers etc. They do their homework in their rooms and keep their belongings and clothes separate and away from their siblings.

I have a boy 13 nearly 14
girl 10
boy 7
we are very lucky- they all have their own rooms.
we bought an older house it’s a semi detached but a 4 bed (no en-suites tho or anything fancy!) but it was a choice of a more modern 3 bed detached with en-suite/ utilities etc or an older house. The modern ones had much smaller room sizes (we used to rent a 3 bed semi modern one and the 3rd bedroom was very small) so we went for size of rooms and giving them all their own room.
theres 7 years between the boys so i feel too bigger age gap to share and my daughter being the only girl needs her own personal space.

Absolutely all of this!

My 3 all have very different personalities, and the older they're getting the more time they like to spend in their own rooms.

I feel either 8 or 6 year gap to share a room in the future will he very tough! I feel it will be better for the eldest two to share a room till they get to secondary room and then make arrangements for 3 bedrooms. I have 3 kids too and they have their own room but unfortunately one of them has a very small one. We found it impossible to buy a house with 4 equally sized rooms. And 5 bed would have been a big stretch. London prices are insane!

I shared with my sister until I was 6 and she was 8. My parents then bought a bigger house.

Just out of curiosity - why did you choose to get pregnant knowing that your bedroom situation isn’t ideal?

Bit shit for the 13 year and 11 year old boy. Why does the 14 year boy get his own room, and the other two boys have to share?

Yeah one is 14, one it 26 and one is 32 and has her own flat 😂 . But seriously when they eldest lived at home (over 10 years ago) no they didn’t. The two eldest shared G&G youngest is a boy so no choice, they just got on with it. Was only for a couple of years mind but looking back it wouldn’t have worked long term

Honestly? I think with those age gaps it’ll be tricky tbh. We had 3 kids and two shared for a while until we moved and they each had their own rooms. But our age gap was much smaller, 17 months. They shared a lot of toys and games and bed times weren’t vastly different so the whole bed time routine was easy. 6 years is a big difference developmentally. I think it would be hard with, for example, the older one at 8 having completely different interests and certainly a different bed time from a 2 year old toddler. And if the sex of your new baby means an 8 year age gap, it’ll be even more exaggerated. Older one age 10, heading to secondary school, hitting puberty and sharing with a 2 year old.

Because he is the eldest, and the other two get on better so are fine with sharing. Two of them have to share, and that's the best way of doing it for us.

I grew up with two older sisters 6 and 8 year gap. I shared with eldest for years until she moved out.
my DDs have a 2 year gap, they shared until they were 10 and 12 when we got a bigger house

Mine all have their own room. I think the age gap for you is going to make things tricky. But it’s been fine for centuries!