If you have 3 children do they all have their own room?

[unsureforevermore]

Just that really, I’m expecting in September we have a 8&6 year old boy and girl, plan is for the older two to share for a year or two and then whichever sex the new child is they will then share further down the line.

coming up for a remortgage in October and we think we are just going to pull a bit of money out to pay off a few things so we are a bit more comfortable on mat leave.

anyway do yours all have their own room? Does it work for you? I always shared when I was little and I enjoyed sharing with my sister x

I feel like with the cost of living etc I really don’t want to have a big mortgage I’d rather have more freedom for holidays etc

Yes my 3 have their own rooms. The elder 2 shared for a while (same sex and only 18 months apart), they get on really well but by the time they were 8 and 6 they wanted their own space.

If it were me I’d get a bigger mortgage and less holidays or less extravagant holidays.

This will change when DS gets to secondary school. Personally I would start financially planning for a loft or garage conversion 5 years down the line if that is feasible.

I agree - the idea that kids need their own rooms is cultural. It's not an inherent need. There are many parts of the world where people would have a very different view on this and their kids are not all miserable. If any of us had been born into those culturally different countries, we would all have a different view too.

We only have have 2 kids but for what it's worth they ideally want all 4 of us sleeping in the same bed (but then they are only 2 and 4), never mind different rooms. Either way - you will make it work. Love and guidance is what they need, not sqft.

I think that's a little naive tbh, and telling that you only have 2 children of very young, similar ages.

I think we probably will revisit in 3/5 years time.

I wouldn’t pull money from equity for anything other then extending the house or loft conversion money that goes into the house to increase the value.
And yes mostly always had own rooms youngest 2 shared for 3 years until older sister moved out but we have over the years in different houses separated larger room into 2 tiny ones then moved to a 4 bed then had a playroom turned into a bedroom to accommodate the kids having their own rooms. It’s important for teenagers but tiny ones not to bad. Are there any options within current house to jig it a bit?
At the end of the day it is what it is, kids are there now and you need to do the best you can with what’s there don’t feel bad about them sharing use room deciders (ikea kalax cubes are great) and make it work thousands of kids share rooms it’s good for building conflict resolution skills!

Agreed!!

My partner is a builder so I guess there are options. Just not for the attic as it’s too small unfortunately as otherwise we would have done that.

I think probably best revisit in a few years see what’s happening in the world !

Doesn't this mean you'll be having a bigger mortgage though? What else does pulling money down mean?

I wouldn't increase a mortgage for anything other than extending or moving. Consolidating debts onto a mortgage is hugely short sighted, you'll end up paying massively over the odds.

Our friends live in Spain and they have 5 kids. They have 4 rooms in their flat but all 5 of the kids sleep in the same room; it's like a cruise ship cabin 😂They love it (the eldest is 10)

I have 3, two boys and a girl with 4 years in between. The boys have to share as we only have 3 bedrooms. It’s what I grew up doing and so did my husband. You make it work. In an ideal world they would all have their own space but we do have a room at the back of the house with a sofa and telly in that will be used in the teenage years. It does get challenging at times and makes me wish I could change it, but those moments pass and if that’s what the children are used to dealing with there shouldn’t be too much of an issue.

There’s only 3 years between my boys and my eldest in particular would be miserable if he’d have to share, he’s a teen now and really values his space, I remember the feeling well! We even have a 3rd reception room that used to be an additional chill out space but they both still opt for their rooms.

DH wouldn’t have allowed us to have more children than rooms, he had a tough time growing up and not having his own space was a big deal for him, even though he got on very well with his brother, we had to buy a house big enough for him to finally have his own room 😂

It's the age gap and gender splits that makes a difference

Mine would have been exactly the same at 2 and 4! They change though. My elder 2 shared by choice at that age, and until they were 6 and 8, but then they wanted some space and privacy. Now my eldest is 12 she’d really hate to share a room.
Having their own room isn’t a ‘need’, you’re right there, but it is something that, as a parent, I’d try my absolute best to provide if possible.

3 bed house, 3 kids. Eldest 2 currently share out of choice even though theres an empty rolm currrently as youngest is still in with us.
We'll do a few swap arounds in the future and they'll all take a turn sharing.
We have the money for a loft conversion but I don't think we'll do it. The downstairs of our house is bigger than the upstairs and we also have the equivalent of a 2 bed bungalow on our property. So lots of spaces to work/ study/ hobby/ hang out separately as they get older. The bedrooms will just be sleeping and clothes storage.

Yes all three had their own rooms. We wouldn’t have had three children if they couldn’t have their own space and privacy growing up. My partner had to share with a 5 year age gap, he was the eldest sibling and hated it, especially during the teenage years.

we extended so they could each have their own bedrooms. The we moved and the new house had enough bedrooms.
the two girls shared initially but when they became teenagers it became a lot harder

Yeah of our mortgage would increase but not as much as if we were to move we only have around 80k left on our mortgage at the moment and to buy something with an extra bedroom were we are we would be looking at closer to the 250/300k our house is probably worth around the 180k mark which wouldn’t be anywhere near what we would be pulling out from the house. But obvs we wouldn’t be taking all the equity out.

I agree! It's a fairly recent thing that children had bedrooms to themselves, and is quite privileged. There's nothing wrong with children sharing bedrooms. When the new baby is old enough, they just share with whatever sibling is of the same sex, it'll be fine.

I have 4 boys. They all shared one space until they were 13, 11, 8 & 6. Then, they all got their own rooms (although technically the 2 youngest still share as their rooms are in a divided room).

They were mainly OK with sharing, because they had other play spaces indoors and outdoors, so could spread out when they wanted to, and only had to be in the same place for sleeping.

However, they all absolutely love having their own rooms now, and appreciate it all the more because they were big enough to choose their own decor, and realise what an upgrade it is from sharing.

Of course - I am not saying my current experience is relevant (which is why I added, FWIW)

We all want the best for our kids but our idea of minimum acceptable standards is cultural. Whilst it might be objectively better to have the option of having their own room, a good life is not contingent upon that.

Your age gap is too big. If the older 3 were same sex it could work. No 14 year old wants to share with an 8 year old, much less a 16 year old. The only reason I'd be pulling money out of a property would be for home improvements, loft conversion or extension, not to make life more comfortable, it's not a sound financial decision

I shared a room with my sister right up until I was 16. I loved it and wouldn’t change it for the world.

Today from 'Only on MN'. Just buy a bigger house so your teenage sons can wank in peace.

Meanwhile, back in the real world.....